Disclaimer: I do not own Warehouse 13 or any of its original characters or plots. If I did, the original pixie stix would be cocaine. Ask me how that has anything to do with anything. I dare you.

Author's Note: This is what would happen If I were allowed to speak with the characters of Warehouse 13. I hope you enjoy! Because this really is completely for fun and daisies and a comedic break for the more serious Warehouse writing I'm doing! Review if you appreciate!


The following is unreleased documentation of interviews that took place at an undisclosed time and place between Kat Bee Dee and the members of the Warehouse 13 staff.

Document 1 – Pete Lattimer

Kat Bee Dee: So, Pete. How does it feel now that all of your ships have officially sunk?

Pete Lattimer: Wha-?

KBD: Well, it's kind of common knowledge now. Since season two started up and H.G. came around, fans really don't care much for you romantically anymore! Before, you had Myka pretty much secured! I mean, you had Kelly for awhile since then, but…let's be honest. No one liked her.

Lattimer: Me and Myka? You're crazy. Bats and crazy. She'd sooner die than think of me that way. That's just the truth! I mean, come on! She's HOT, and I'd totally tap that, but she'd give me the ol' one-two, if she knew that!

KBD: Ahh, I see. So, you're saying, you are interested in her romantically?

Lattimer: Last time I checked, laying someone and wanting to marry them were two totally different things! Besides, I respect Myka.

KBD: And by 'respect' you mean you want to kiss her?

Lattimer: Dude, do you have an issue? Or am I not speaking plain english? Me and Myka are totally platonic.

KBD: And by 'platonic' you mean you want to spend the rest of your life with her and make babies with her, right? Wait…do you even know what 'platonic' means?

Lattimer: Do YOU even know what 'platonic' means?

KBD: Of course! It means a relationship that is strictly frien—HEY! You tricked me into saying that!

Lattimer: Psh…not really. Kid, you need to grow up. You obviously had a sad childhood and now fantasize about other people's love lives in order to compensate.

KBD: Do you even know what 'compensate' means?

Lattimer: Oh my gosh…

KBD: 'Cause I am seriously surprised by your vocabulary!

Lattimer: Okay, I'm done with this. Talk to Claudia. You two would get along.

KBD: No, no! Wait! I have other questions on different topics that don't involve your love life!

Lattimer: ….alright. I guess. Shoot

KBD: Did you really think that Kelly was "the One", or were you just trying to make Myka jealous?

Lattimer: For the love of Christ! Somebody get this kid out of here…


A/N: Like I said, this is all for the joy of making fun of myself XD Review if you appreciate! Thanks for reading!