Holy crap! I know, I know...I haven't been around in FOREVER. Those of you who remember me and are still around, feel free to start throwing the rocks! Let the rotten tomatos fly! I disappeared and left a bunch of loose ends. I wouldn't be surprised if I've been completely forgotten. Heck, I've been gone so long I don't even know if people are still around at all! For my old readers: I'VE MISSED YOU SO! And to new readers: I'LL FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU IF YOU READ AND REVIEW! Ah, how I've missed this. It's like coming home again.
Visions of swimsuit models and video game controls were dancing around in Derek Venturi's head until a quite distracting vibrating began next to his face. Derek's hand reached out to try and push the bothersome vibrating object away before his dream disappeared but he somehow managed only to smack himself in the head.
It was all very unfortunate.
Derek reluctantly opened his eyes, silently acknowledging whatever evil-doer had come up with the scheme which interrupted his blissful, simple dream (he had just gotten to the part where a blonde in a skimpy red bikini was approaching him, holding a Wii remote on rumble mode…). After taking part in a short but epic battle against his sheets, which had somehow ended up wrapped around his right leg, his torso and up to his left arm, he finally uncovered the vibrating culprit from under his pillow. He took a moment to glare at the phone before he pushed send and put it to his ear.
"What the hell do you want?" he asked grumpily.
"Good morning to you too, sunshine!" Lizzie chirped in an obnoxiously bright voice. "Did you even check to see who was calling or is that how you normally answer?"
"I couldn't care less if you were the President calling only to see if he felt that my greeting was up to his standards and if it wasn't I would be doomed to spend the rest of my life locked up in federal prison with only a bread crumb named Francis as a friend and a toothbrush as my life partner. You have no idea how good my dream was before you went and ruined it." Derek grumbled.
"Aw, poor wittle Derek." Lizzie mocked. "I think you'll survive."
"What's going on? You're acting like Casey. You're supposed to be the nice, not annoying step-sister. You know, the one that I actually like and don't want to murder in her sleep. Where's that Lizzie? Because this one is inching closer and closer to a late night death by spatula."
Lizzie scoffed. "Spatula? Really, Derek?"
"What. Do. You. Want?" Derek asked slowly and then squinted at the time. "Christ, Liz. It's seven-thirty in the morning. None of my classes even start until ten!"
"It's Friday. You'll have the weekend to be lazy." Lizzie said. "Speaking of this weekend…"
Derek suddenly realized the reason for this phone call. He knew what Lizzie was going to bring up and he knew that she thought he had forgotten. He hadn't. But he wasn't going to let her know that.
"What about this weekend?" Derek asked gruffly.
"Don't you remember what happens this weekend? Or more specifically, tomorrow?"
Derek pretended to ponder for a moment before saying, "Nope, I have no idea."
"Not one single, tiny, little idea?"
"Not even the teeniest, faintest idea of what tomorrow could be has crossed your mind at all?" Lizzie asked sweetly.
"Not at all."
"What is wrong with you?" Lizzie bellowed into the phone. Derek had to move the phone away from his head. "Tomorrow is Casey's twenty-first birthday!"
"Oh. Yeah. That." Derek said dryly.
"Oh. Yeah. That." Lizzie repeated sarcastically. "Really, Derek, this is a big deal, and you're going to take this seriously."
"Take what seriously?" Derek inquired. "You're talking like we're talking about planning to kidnap a royal or something, not about Casey's birthday."
"Casey's birthday is important!" Lizzie bellowed once more. "Her birthday's always suck. No matter what, something goes wrong. She's tried to not be as OCD about the day and it still doesn't help. And this year we're not going to be able to see her until next weekend so it is your job to make sure Casey has a good birthday this year. It's her twenty-first. It has to be good. Especially to make up for what a disaster her eighteenth was."
Derek removed the phone from his ear once again, but this time to stare at it. After what he felt was an appropriate amount of time spent gawking at a telephone, Derek put it back to his ear.
"Excuse me," he began, "But who put crack in your corn flakes this morning?"
"Neither crack nor corn flakes have been anywhere near me so far today." Lizzie stated. "And I repeat: You will make sure Casey has a good birthday."
"Liz, it's me. My idea of making sure Casey has a good birthday is by sabotaging things, and her idea is having me far, far away. How do you possibly expect me to make sure she has a good birthday?"
Lizzie sighed deeply on the other end. "Can't you be human to her for once, Derek? I know our whole family has been asking this of you for the last six years, but just this once, do it."
Derek knew that he was right-the best thing he could do to ensure that Casey's birthday was somewhat decent was to stay away. But he also knew that Lizzie was not going to give up until he at least said he was going to do what she said, whether he really intended to or not.
"Fine." Derek "I'll do it. Whatever. Just don't come yelling at me if her birthday ends up being a disaster."
"Thank you, Derek. I really appreciate it." Lizzie said, sounding sincere. "Now I'm going to go search for some of that crack and corn flakes that you mentioned. I suggest you do the same."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Bye Lizzie." He hung up the phone and let it drop onto his bed with a soft plop.
Derek was preparing to pull the covers back over him and get more sleep when something came flying from the other side of the room and hit him in the head, causing him to fall backward on his mattress. He sat up, taking the projectile pillow and throwing it back across the room. His roommate Adam caught it from where he was sitting up in his own bed.
"Douche, you are so freaking loud." Adam said, his voice mixed with annoyance and amusement.
"Not my fault I have an annoying step-sister." Derek shrugged.
"Dude, what's Casey doing calling so early?" Adam inquired.
"Actually, that was Lizzie."
"Oh." Adam thought this over for a moment. "I don't think I've ever heard you call her annoying. It's usually just Casey. Actually, bro, it's kind of funny. Sometimes I forget you even have another step-sister because all I ever hear you talk about is Casey and how annoying Casey is and Casey's-"
"I get it!" Derek cut him off. "That's not even funny." He grumbled.
Adam rolled his eyes before laying lying down, his back to Derek. Derek sat and pondered over whether there was any chance he would actually do as Lizzie had asked. Deciding the answer was no, he too laid down. His eyes stayed closed for a good thirty seconds before they opened again. Awake, he realized. He sighed heavily.
"Wanna go get pancakes?"
"I call dibs on the bathroom, you sleep-stealing bastard." Adam replied immediately.
The familiar sound of the soft, tinkling bell met Derek's ears as he entered the small, well-loved pancake house, Lima Bean, named simply because Greta, the seventy-three year old owner had found it to be an insanely funny thing to name a pancake house when she had first opened it, thirty-nine years prior. She still took immense joy out of newbie Freshman inquiring about the true meaning behind the name of the favorite place for the colleges students to get a hefty stack of artery-clogging pancakes and some good bacon.
The smell of said artery-clogging pancakes and good bacon washed over Derek, enveloping him like a blanket. The comfort was synonymous with walking into Lima.
"Well, look at that," a breathy, cigarette-scarred voice rasped. "Derek Venturi and Adam Peloski up and about earlier than ten minutes before the start of class. My bet is that you either haven't been to sleep or…nope, I can't come up with another reason."
"You show such little faith in us." Adam smiled at Greta who was behind the counter, leaning on her elbows.
"Oh, I have faith-faith that you'll drink, break hearts and sleep through all your classes and somehow still pass. Now order some food, already!"
Derek smirked while Adam dropped himself into a stool at the counter and stretched both arms across it's length. "Bring us fat and bring us grease!" He demanded, pounding both of his palms against the countertop.
Greta's grayish-purple hair tumbled out of her messy bun a little as she shook her head at the boys. "I hope you remembered your wallets this time."
"Hey," Derek proclaimed as he took a seat beside Adam, "That was only one time and we paid you back!"
Greta cocked her head sideways and gave him a knowing stare.
"Alright, alright, fine. It's happened more than once." Derek admitted.
"But we always had hot and/or desperate girls to pick up our tab for us." Adam added.
"And we really did pay you back that one time." Derek concluded.
Greta whistled slowly. "You boys are a well oiled machine. Now, stay quiet you putzes!" Greta smiled before dipping into the kitchen to order something for them.
"Ah, that woman." Derek chuckled.
"I know. Fifty years younger and she'd be the perfect woman." Adam nodded.
"Ew!" A voice next to Derek exclaimed. He immediately stiffened and closed his eyes. "Say it ain't so." He murmured.
"Ah, but it is, brah. But it is." Adam said solemnly.
Derek gripped the counter and turned himself around on his swivel seat to see Casey staring down at him.
"You're sick, you know that?" She said, decidedly.
"You're humorless, you know that?" Derek threw back. "What are you doing here?" He demanded to know.
"I should be asking you the same thing!" She cried. "I didn't know it was possible for you to exist before noon."
"Hey, my classes all start before noon!" Derek defended himself.
"Like that'd ever stop you." Casey rolled her eyes.
Derek opened his mouth to say something but realized that, for the most part, she was right, so decided to let that one go.
Adam, who had propped his elbow on the countertop and cupped his chin in his palm, spoke. "Well, hellooooo, lovely lady." He batted his eyelashes at her ridiculously. "Sup?" He let the p pop loudly.
Casey rolled her eyes again and grumbled, "Hey, Adam."
"Okay, great! We've all said our good mornings. Now go somewhere else, Casey. Somewhere away. Like, that way." Derek pointed toward the doors of Lima.
"You're pathetic." Casey surmised, sliding into the seat next to her step-brother.
"No." Derek said. "No, no. No, no, no. No sitting. Sitting is not permitted here. Move along, confused little girl." He waved his hand at her.
"I was here first. I'm always first! If anyone should go it should be you idiots, but I'm above you, so I'm not going to try and make you leave."
"I wish you were above me." Adam murmured, but not quietly enough. Greta, who had reappeared behind the counter, placed down the food-laden plates she was holding skillfully and slapped here hand across the back of Adam's head.
"You want to keep your establishment full of dignity and respect, then you should make her leave!" Derek cried, pointing at Casey.
Greta chucked. "Funny," she said, "Casey told me that same thing about you years ago."
"Always first." Casey said knowingly, plucking a sausage off of Derek's plate.
"Oh my God!" Derek cried, nearly tripping. He and Adam had been walking around campus when Casey suddenly appeared next behind them.
"Stop doing that!" He cried.
"Don't be such a baby." Casey rolled her eyes.
Derek took a moment to glare at her before turning and continuing to walk, which Adam followed, as did Casey.
"Why are you following us?" Derek asked, not bothering to look behind him as he walked.
"What do you even do anymore when you're not asleep or at some disgusting, drunken orgy disguised as a frat party? I no longer actually know." Casey wondered, following her step-brother.
Adam sighed heavily beside Derek. "Do you think we could outrun her?" He asked.
"No." Derek and Casey said in unison, Derek sounding sullen and Casey sounding chipper.
"Damn." Adam mumbled. "Well could you at least walk in front of me so I can enjoy the view while you yap?"
Casey reached over and slapped him across the head.
"Ow! Aren't you supposed to believe violence is not the answer and all that crap?" Adam asked, rubbing the back of his head. "You keep Derek from getting the shit beat out of him by some guy three times his size in high school, but me, the future father of your children! Yeah, me you slap."
"Hey! How'd you know about that?" Derek asked, sounding offended.
"Oh, I have a psychic aunt. She says we'll have seven children, all boys. Their names will all start with G. Our firstborn will be Günter. A hearty, lively boy he will be."
"Dream on, loser!" Casey exclaimed.
"Yeah, I'm not talking about your sick and delusional fantasy, which, by the way, sounds like a prison sentence to me. I don't know why you find such things at all desirable. I was talking about the whole guy three times my size thing." Derek said.
"Oh, that." Adam waved his hand in the air. "Edwin. He gets really chatty at the holidays."
Casey snorted loudly to which Adam said, "Oh, don't get all pompous-like back there, Case. Everyone in your family tends to be of the loose-lip variety, and let me tell you, I may as well have known you since birth."
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure you know so much." Casey said.
"I could talk for days about Max and Truman, Casey. Seems to me you have some problems picking out the right kind of guys. Don't worry though, baby. I'm here now." Adam turned and smiled brightly at her, walking backwards. Casey rolled her eyes.
"Can we get back to my original question?" Derek stopped walking. "Why are you following us?"
"She wants me." Adam said simply.
"I want you to be in a different country." Casey enunciates.
"Focus!" Derek nearly shouted, grabbing a hold of Casey's shoulders.
Casey picked up Derek's hands disdainfully and removes them from their resting place. "Is anything interesting going on tonight?"
"Like, any, um, interesting parties? Or an event or something…" Casey spoke to the ground.
There was a long pause as Derek looked at her like she was crazy. Finally he said, "No."
"Oh, so you're not doing anything tonight or going out or-"
"Casey, this has already been the longest day of my life and it's only, like, two o'clock. I'm probably going to sleep tonight so I won't have to do it again until Monday afternoon."
"Oh, okay." Casey said, suddenly bright. "Then go on, about your day!" She patted him on the cheek, a little harder than necessary, before turning and walking away.
Derek and Adam stared at her as she went.
"See? Now that, that's the view I was looking for." Adam said, nodding in approval.
Derek slapped the side of his friend's head before turning and walking away.
Derek was once again submerged in a luscious dream. He was sitting on a bed that was bigger than his entire dorm room, leaning against copious amounts of huge, fluffy pillows, clothed in a red velvet robe. Surrounding him were girls-lots and lots of girls. In one corner of the massive bed, several girls were having a pillow fight, complete with giggles and floating feathers. In another corner, two girls were in the midst of a playful wrestling match while two others hovered over them, one holding a bottle of chocolate sauce, the other a can of whipped cream. Derek smiled contentedly as he put his arms behind his head.
He was happily observing the awesomeness that was ensuing around him when he noticed one of the girls crawling toward him. She was a striking brunette with pale blue eyes. She sat in front of him, smiling shyly.
"Derek." She sighed his name wistfully.
Derek smirked, "Yes, babe?"
She smiled more. "Oh, Derek."
"Are you in need of some Derek lovin'?" he asked thoughtfully. She nodded eagerly.
"Your wish is my command."
Derek began to lean in toward the girl but once he was close enough that their noses were nearly touching, he stopped. The pale blue of her eyes had changed. It had become brighter, deeper, more familiar. He leaned back. Her hair was now lightly waved instead of straight as it had first been.
"Derek?" Her voice sounded far away and surrounded by static even though she was right in front of him.
It took him a moment to fully comprehend what had happened. Then it hit him and his heart started to slam against his ribcage. A thin sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead.
"Derek?" Her voice was louder now, more annoyed than wistful. And also more melodic than it had been moments before.
He stared at her, wide-eyed, wondering how the hell this could have happened.
"Der-ek!" She finally yelled angrily.
He fell back against the pillows, his heart still pounding, and shivered.
The number 21 was glowing at him from within both her pupils.
Derek jolted awake. He became so focused on trying to slow down his frantic breathing that it took him a good minute to notice the large set of blue eyes that were staring down at him curiously.
"Is that good dream panting or bad dream panting?" Casey asked but then seemed to rethink the question and held out a palm at him as if trying to block any response he might make. "You know what, never mind. I don't want to know. But jeez, you're hard to wake up. It wasn't even this hard when we were in high school. Now it basically takes a nuclear bomb to get you up."
Derek stared up at her in disbelief. "What is it with you McDonald's and screwing up really good dreams?" he cried.
"Don't know, don't care." Casey responded immediately. "Now get up and put some pants on."
Derek raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You're excused." Casey nodded solemnly, "Now find some pants."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about how you're probably going to want to be wearing pants when I kidnap you from this room for the night. What can I say? I'm feeling generous."
"Are you kidding me?" Derek cried.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Casey asked, standing with her hands on her hips, looking down at him.
"You've lost your mind." Derek whispered incredulously.
"Pants!" Casey declared.
The authoritative tone in her voice sent a shiver through him that he ignored whenever she got bossy, but this time he was a little scared, too. She had the crazy eyes going, and that was always a sign to dial down on his attitude.
Grumbling, he got up, ignoring the fact that he was only wearing his boxers in front of her, and pulled on his pants that he had thrown on the floor next to his bed then the rumpled shirt that had been discarded there too. He barely had time to push his shoes onto his feet and grab a hold of his jacket before she had stepped next to him and begun pushing her palm against his back, shoving him toward the door.
Not willing to relent completely he dug his heels into the carpet, trying to keep her from moving him anymore.
"Adam!" Derek shouted. "You're not even going to try and help? A crazy lady is trying to abduct me from the room!"
Adam sat up from his bed and blinked innocently in Derek's direction. "Said crazy lady offered me twenty bucks to forget any of this ever happened. And now that a pretty new twenty is nicely folded inside my wallet, I am thoroughly convinced that this is all a dream. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to roll over and get to my next dream. Maybe I'll get paid in that one, too."
"Traitor!" Derek hissed.
Adam waved a hand at him dismissively before rolling over.
"Great, now that we have that settled, let's go!" Casey exclaimed, grabbing Derek's hand. She paused once she had dragged him to the door. "Wait, you have your wallet, right?"
Derek glared at her in the darkness, sure she could see him anyway. Minions of the devil could see in the dark, right?
Too impatient to wait for an answer, Casey's free hand reached down and dipped into his pants pocket, lifting out his wallet far enough to see it.
"Hey!" Derek cried out, surprised by the invasion. "Come on, now! Adam, she's trying to molest me! You're really not gonna help your best friend out?"
"Man," Adam grumbled, his face smashed into his pillow, "Have you looked at her? I wouldn't be complaining if she was molesting me. Get over it."
Derek felt his face go red- like my face is going to fall off, it's so hot right now, red. But Casey, either blissfully oblivious to the exchange or smartly ignoring it, let Derek's wallet drop back into his pocket, opened the door, and dragged him through it.
I'm desperately hoping people are here reading this. It would be very lovely. I have quite a few people that have me on their alert list so I'm hoping many of you have opened a happy surprise of an e-mail that led you here. Anyone out there, please review. I haven't gone through fics lately, but I tried and read something about a Dasey revival and I am ALL FOR THAT. I finally caught bits and pieces of that Life with Derek movie and though they didn't fufill my Dasey wish, I mean, come on. The girl Derek ended up with looks EXACTLY like Casey. It was so funny, I fell over from laughing. Ahh, the good ol' Dasey wishing times. REVIEW! :)