Well hi all! This story came out of... nowhere. Quite literally, I have no idea how I thought of this, I just did. It was written in one sitting, with one read-over, so please let me know if you see any errors that I can correct. Also, I'll categorize this as humor, though it may not actually be all that funny.

Minor cursing- you've been warned.

I Do Not Own Mai-HiME Or Its Characters.

I'm not entirely sure why I used unnecessary capitals in that... Anyways, please enjoy and review!


There must be something wrong with Akira, Takumi mused to himself.

Oh no, don't worry, not in the "Oh-my-god-Akira-is-going-to-die" kind of way. No, more this situation falls more under the "My-roommate-has-some-very-peculiar-habits" category.

The first thing, Takumi hasn't taken too long to notice, is that he cannot so much as stick a hair of his over Akira-kun's parting line taped to their shared carpeted floor. One little toe out of line (quite literally) could potentially land the young Tokiha into the hospital ward in a matter of seconds; he'd rather not venture into Akira's area after the first incident.

Secondly, Takumi's roommate was always displeased. This, however, was manageable and Takumi soon started to mark such behavior as normal for the black haired preteen. Once in a blue moon, however, the artist would demonstrate even more acts of aggressiveness. Takumi had soon noticed a pattern; like clockwork, this irritable façade would occur once a month.

Once a month, once a month… what kind of natural happening swings about once monthly to alter someone's moods?

Ah! It hit him like a ton of bricks. Obviously, Akira-kun was a werewolf and so naturally becomes more hostile and defensive during the full moon.

The brown haired boy was quite satisfied with his use of the scientific method. However, Akira's turning into a werewolf would have left behind some seriously dead hints: Takumi would have had to have taken notice of any late night wanderings, craving for red meat, extra hair on the body, fatigue, or muddy footprints if Akira were truly a werewolf.

No, Takumi reasoned, Akira-kun is not a werewolf.

But then, what was so troubling to his roommate?

Hmm, if Akira is not a werewolf, than the only option left is a vampire!

Well… maybe not. Akira isn't terribly pale and has no fangs. Additionally, the ponytail-wearer has exhibited no interest in blood or sucking on peoples' necks.

So vampire was out of the picture.

Now Takumi is frustrated. He had always thought himself to be a fairly intelligent boy, but he just could not figure this riddle out.

"What howls, mopes, cries, and stings if it cannot be a wolf, vampire, bug, or child?"

Takumi was now reduced to making a list of all fabled creatures: troll, leprechaun, fairy, dragon, magician, superhero, dinosaur, ogre, princess, prince, king, queen, actor, witch, wizard, centaur, Frakenstein, zombie, ghost, angel, devil, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, elf, reindeer, Hanukkah Harry, Harry Potter… the list just continued on to be more and more ridiculous.

The boy was just simply sitting at the kitchen table and crossing "Tooth Fairy" off the list as his uncategorized species of a roommate barged into the living space. Takumi glanced up from his list as he witnessed Akira slumping straight down into the chair opposite him and plunking the head of raven hair onto the kitchen table, face fully concealed.

Takumi blinked after Akira sat there for a full minute without moving a single muscle. "...Uhh, hi there," he voiced out tentatively, simply to let the junior high student know that he was there.

Akira let out an incoherent mumble before the head was forcibly lifted up from the surface and staring blankly into Takumi's puzzled face. "I. Feel. Like. CRAP," Akira stated before falling back down into a slouched position.

Hmm, feeling like crap. Thanks to this delicious detail, Takumi was able to eliminate about half of his list of fictional characters. "Why? Did your favorite holiday get cancelled" Might as well play a little Guess Who.

Had Akira's head been up, the shorter roommate would have given Takumi a look that shouts something along the lines of "You-can't-cancel-a-holiday-you-idiot." But alas, since Akira's lovely face was hidden from view, no such look was shown. Instead, Akira simply told the boy that no, no favorite holiday was cancelled; that it was a fact that Akira does not celebrate any major holidays.

This eliminated a handful of other creatures.

"Are you homesick? I'm sure that Fukka Academy is nothing like your old forest home."

Now Akira's face was revealed and was giving Takumi the most bizarre look. "I never lived in a forest, I lived in Tokyo, a city."

Cross out troll, fairy, centaur, and ogre.

After three more rounds of guessing games, Takumi was out of myths and Akira was out of patience.

"What with the game of '20 Questions'? I told you that I feel like crap and than you just give me more reasons to feel moody. I swear, you're lucky that PMS isn't deadly, otherwise you'd be the first person I'd strangle!"

Woah, wait a minute, back up.

Akira reddened. Takumi reddened. They gaped at one another like fish for a few moments.

Takumi clicked his pen open and turned back to his list, "Female! That's the creature I was forgetting!"

Umm, yeah. If you have any comments, I'd love to hear (read?) them :)