Dream of You
An X Fanfiction
I don't enjoy my dreams.
It's strange, for someone who can do nothing but dream to hate said dreams. But I do. I hate them.
I hate the future they foretell.
I hate the future I cannot change.
I hate watching it happen, knowing that I have left is one wish.
A dream of you.
I dreamt a dream of you.
A dream of you, and me, and the sea.
It is always the sea when I dream of you. I don't remember the other ones, I'm not even sure if I have other ones. The void that I once spoke to you in is where I am now, it's no place for dreams.
The sea is, though. Perhaps that's why I meet you there, in dreams.
The mist is damp and cool, the waves pounding down onto the rocks with all the power of nature and inevitability. All the force of destiny.
Sometimes, it feels like I'm always in the ocean, floating without anchor, without habour or moor. The waves move back a forth, and I never really go anywhere. It's how I spend all the time I'm not dreaming, waiting for death, waiting to sink into the sea of a void.
Sometimes...sometimes I hate the ocean too.
But I can't. Because you promised, you'd said we'd go there. You took me there, in the dream.
Let's go...away from here. To the outside world.
A promise then, a hope. That you, with you I could overcome the waves, the end, the destiny.
I reached, and tried, and slipped.
And you fell.
Their fate...our fate...was preordained. But you fought it.
But, you did it. You brought me out, took me outside, if only to stumble after you trying to change what I could not change.
Our fate was preordained.
And could not change.
It's hard, to know the future, and not to be able to do anything. Hard to watch you face off against something that you cannot fight and your brother cannot change. Hard to watch the blood - your blood - absorb into the ground, sink into the dark night and the darker magic. Hard to watch the movements, the light, to feel the aching in my lungs as I reach for you and watch you fall.
Hard to watch you fall.
Hard to fall.
I fall anyway.
And I don't...I can't get up.
All I can see is you. See you, the guttural color of your blood, how it almost appears to hang in the air, the dark shadow of death behind you indistinguishable from the night.
You die a silent death, Hokuto.
Strange, that, for one so loud, boisterous in life. A girl who regaled me with stories of forcing her brother to dress up and tales of flitting around as a gaudily dressed bumblebee should not die a silent death.
You should not die saying only one word, one name.
You should not die sacrificing yourself for others.
You should not die at all.
Author's Notes -
1. In case no one's seen/read X/ Tokyo Babylon, it's from the pov of Kakyou, and the she is Hokuto Sumeragi.
2. I'm planning a Fuuma monologue and I don't know if the fates shall posess me to write more of them. Depends on whether or not they suck.