Accidental Love Affair


This is just something I thought up listening to "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry. I am really starting to like humor! Hope you enjoy it too! Warning…this is a very cute little mpreg…There's a little Rukia/Orihime near the beginning…just don't want to shock anyone…LOL


Chapter 1: She Kissed a Girl…

Byakuya sighed softly and leaned farther into his palm, staring down at the report on the progress of their mission to Karakura Town and putting the final touches on it. He heard occasional sounds of fighting drifting up from the underground training area and wondered briefly how much longer Renji and Ichigo would be at it. Then, the sounds of Jinta and Ururu arguing in the next room made him shake his head and smirk slightly. He had never had either a sibling or children and had not spent time around those who did until this mission…although the children were technically employees…Kisuke only treated them like his own…

He thought briefly of Yachiru…

The Squad Eleven vice captain was about the only child he spent time of any sort with, and it was more that she kept showing up and inserting herself in his life, rather than a great desire on his part to encourage her. Still, he had begun to carry sweets on his person at all times…to go out into the gardens to tend the koi when he knew she was going to pass by the manor on her way home…and when she appeared, he no longer questioned why she was there. He even found her presence rather soothing after a long day at the office…

And after she left, he always felt an odd, aching inside…

"I won fair and square and you know it!" Renji's voice said, breaking into his thoughts as the redhead and the substitute shinigami entered the kitchen.

"Yeah, right, you won fair and square," argued Ichigo, "There was nothing 'fair' about it!"

"Huh…sore loser…" muttered the redhead.

Byakuya rose out of his daze long enough to glance up at the two as they entered the room.

"Ah, gods, whatever Tessai is cooking for dinner smells great!" said Ichigo.

"Tessai is still on vacation," the noble said sedately, "However, to aid Kisuke so that he would have time for your training and to thank him for his hospitality, I have prepared rice, chicken and vegetables."

Renji squinted in surprise.

"I didn't know you could cook, Captain," he mused.

"You still don't know he can," quipped Ichigo, snapping a towel at the redhead.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Renji complained, "And don't insult my captain or I'll whip your ass again!"

"You did not whip my ass!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Hey kids," said Kisuke, good naturedly, "tone it down or Captain Kuchiki is likely to release his ban kai on both your asses."

He shook his head and gave Byakuya a nod of greeting.

"Thanks, Captain. It was a relief not to have to turn my back on those two every few minutes to check on the food."

"It was no problem," Byakuya said cordially, "I was only working on the report for our mission and had no other pressing duties. Besides, you did give Renji and me a place to stay during our mission."

"Always a pleasure, Captain," Kisuke said, smiling.

"That's not what you say to me when I stay here without him!" objected Renji, "and you have me doing all kinds of shit work for you! And that annoying brat, Jinta, never shuts up!"

Ichigo chuckled.

"Don't take it so hard, Renji," he said, smiling, "The kid bugs me too."

At that moment, Jinta and Ururu burst into the kitchen and slid to a stop.

"We finished the sweeping out front, Captain Kuchiki…and we didn't fight except once when he hit me with the broom," reported Ururu.

"So, will you come and help us in the garden?" asked Jinta, "…please?"

"Okay," said Renji, narrowing his eyes, "Now I know that something is up! Why are they…?"

"It is simple, Renji," Byakuya said calmly, "You merely have to establish proper routines and boundaries, and have some give and take in your relationship with children."

"Yeah," muttered Renji, "that and threaten them with your deadly ban kai…"

"Go and wash up for dinner," Byakuya told the children, "I will garden with you after we have eaten."

"Okay, Captain Kuchiki!" the children yelled together.

Ichigo, Kisuke and Renji shook their heads in wonder and sat down at the table as Byakuya laid out the meal.

Minutes later, the group was eating heartily as the children chattered about what kinds of plants they wanted to grow and Kisuke, Renji and Ichigo discussed the training session. Byakuya sat, eating quietly and answering occasional questions, but his mind strayed to a time, long before…sitting at the garden table with his father and eating much the same meal.

"Your swordsmanship is improving by leaps and bounds, sochi," said Soujun, taking a bite of food and sighing softly, "You have already surpassed all of the others your age and if you keep this up, you will surpass me before you are fully grown."

"I want to qualify to be placed in your squad as soon as possible," he answered, taking eager bites and smiling at his father.

"Well, I am certain it will not be long now. I think you will be given a seat right away."

His father studied him in silence for several minutes as he finished eating and looked up again in askance. Soujun smiled and nodded in response the unasked question. They left the table and walked through the gardens together, finding the place that waited for the new cuttings that had been delivered.

Byakuya knelt next to his father, digging his fingers into the dark soil and breathing in the rich scent. He placed the cutting carefully and then set his palms on the ground on either side of it and waited as his father settled next to him and prepared a cutting of his own. Their hands placed carefully on the soil and their heads bent in concentration, they raised their reiatsu and watched as the cuttings evolved under the direction of their power, and grew into young flowering plants. A wave of exhilaration passed through Byakuya and he couldn't stop smiling. His smile widened as his father's hand touched his, offering him another cutting to place.

"Captain Kuchiki, we are done," said Ururu, "and it looks like you are too. May we go to the garden now?"

Byakuya looked up at Renji and Ichigo.

"I imagine that if someone will volunteer to wash the dishes, I could go…"

"Sure…no problem," said Renji, standing.

"You should help too," Jinta told Ichigo, "You're almost as much of a moocher as Renji is. You're here to see Mr. Kisuke every day…ahem…and most nights too…"

"Hey, shut up!" snapped Ichigo, "Man, I don't need to take your crap, you little brat!"

"Take it easy," said Renji, throwing a dish towel at the ginger-haired youth, "I'll wash, so that you don't get your hands dirty…"

Byakuya followed Ururu and Jinta to the garden and spent the next half hour talking to them about the plants they were growing and how to take care of them. He left them chattering at each other and returned to the house as the light was fading. He went back to the room he had occupied and gathered his things, then looked around for Renji.

"Are you ready to go back?" he asked, as he found the redhead, just finishing polishing his weapon.

"Yeah, sure, Captain…but do you mind if we stop at Orihime's? I want to say goodbye to her…oh, and Rukia too. She's going to stay another week."

"Yes, she told me," Byakuya said, setting his pack down, "I imagine we could go there and then come back to get our things. I would like to say goodbye to Rukia too."

"Thanks, Captain," Renji said, following him out the door, then leading him down the street and off to Orihime's apartment.

As they arrived, Byakuya looked at Renji in confusion as he headed, not towards the front door, but to the balcony.

"What are you doing?" he asked, "That's a bit ungentlemanly…"

"Aw, it's okay. I always go in this way," Renji assured him.

Soft voices floated out through the screen as they landed lightly on the balcony and looked inside.

Both men froze instantly…

Orihime lay on her back, resting on several pillows with her legs parted and someone between her thighs.

"We should go…" Byakuya mouthed silently.

Renji nodded and started to turn with him, but both turned back as Orihime's voice released a name.

"R-rukia…! Oh…oh…that's so…so good! Oh…Oh…OH!"

"Rukia?" the two men mouthed, wide-eyed.

Byakuya fought down his reiatsu and looked more closely, his jaw dropping in shock.

Rukia's head lifted and her white back shone as she kissed Orihime on the mouth. Her hands caressed the other girl shamelessly as they fell down on the pillows together and switched places. A moment later, Orihime was between Rukia's legs, pleasuring her.

Breathless with disbelief, Byakuya nevertheless thought it best not to intrude, but to speak to Rukia privately about what he had seen…although he was fairly certain he would not admit to actually having seen it with his own eyes. She would be too humiliated.

And he wasn't sure what he should say, if anything. Although the clan frowned on such relationships because of the expectation of making heirs, Rukia wasn't blood related, and so the rules were more relaxed. It was really not his business, except to remind her of the need for discretion. And he needn't take it up with her here…like this…

He turned away and started to flash step, then realized that Renji hadn't moved. Byakuya approached him on silent feet, now seeing what he had missed before. Then he remembered that Renji hadn't said anything since seeing Rukia rise up and kiss Orihime. Slowly, the truth dawned on him.

They did grow up together…and he went to the ends of his strength to protect her. I always sensed something more than simple protectiveness, but it was their business and Rukia could have dated him, now that he is a vice captain…

He felt an odd, sickly, sympathetic feeling pass through him and took Renji by the arm, leading him down off the balcony and through a nearby park. They sat down on a bench together and Byakuya waited as the redhead gathered himself.


"I am rather shocked, myself," Byakuya admitted, a flush rising on his cheeks as he remembered.

Renji met his eyes with tragically sad ones, but Byakuya couldn't help but be touched by what he said.

"She, ah…she won't get…in trouble…with the clan?" he asked, shakily.

"No," Byakuya said quietly, "The rules are different for her, as she is not blood related and bears no responsibility to produce heirs. As long as she is mindful of decency and keeps her relationship private, there will be no objection from the elders."

He regarded Renji silently for a moment.

"You are…a good friend…to concern yourself with something like that, in light of your own…interest in her."

Renji sighed and tried not to let him see the tear he brushed away.

"I…always knew she didn't like me in that way," he said, clearing his throat and blinking, "but I liked her anyway. And I thought that…as long as we were close, there was a chance…"

He let out another shaky breath.

"Fuck…how did I not see that coming?" he asked, shaking his head in dismay, "I am such…a…a fucking idiot!"

He came to his feet abruptly, unbidden tears rising in his eyes. He started to flash step away to hide the fact he was just this side of losing it, but was stopped as a cool hand found his arm and held him back.

"Aw…Captain, look, now's not a good time for me. Could you just…?"

"Come with me, Renji," Byakuya said calmly, "We'll go back to Urahara's and have some tea."

Renji looked at him incredulously.

"Tea?" he said, shaking his head and making it ache, "You think tea is gonna help, Captain? Tea won't do shit for me right now…"

"Well," said Byakuya, "We could have a bit of sake to take the edge off…"

Renji sighed.


They turned back towards Kisuke's shop, walking slowly side-by-side, neither wanting particularly to remember, but neither being able to forget…

They reached the shop and found that the children were in bed and Kisuke and Ichigo had already retired to the Kisuke's room. They looked around the kitchen, then several of the other rooms, before finally locating what looked to be a bottle of Kisuke's home made sake.

"Oh…this one smells good," commented Renji as they retired to the redhead's room with the bottle and two glasses.

"You won't taste it if you drink it that fast," Byakuya warned him as the redhead downed his first glass.

"I don't give a damn about tasting it," Renji moaned, taking the bottle and filling his glass again as Byakuya sipped at his, "I just need to get that image outta my head, you know?"

Byakuya sighed and nodded.

"I was there…"

"Captain," Renji said worriedly, "You're not…mad at her, right?"

Byakuya frowned in surprise.

"I should be asking you that, Abarai," he replied quietly, "but, no, I am not displeased with her. Rukia follows her heart…and who one loves should be a matter of the heart. Gender is less important, I think, than how one feels."

"Huh…" Renji mused, drinking more, "I wouldn't have thought you'd be so…so…"

His words began to fade into less intelligible sounds. Byakuya waited until he felt the man was at his limit, then hid the bottle in his shihakushou. He helped Renji into bed, setting him on his side and propping him carefully with pillows, so that he would neither roll off the bed, nor drown in his own vomit if he became sick during the night. His own head spun uncomfortably, though he hadn't had as much of the sake as Renji. He sat down and waited a bit longer until the redhead seemed to be asleep, then rose and started for the door. As he took hold of the handle and pulled the door open, a firm hand pushed it closed again. Byakuya turned and looked up into Renji's dazed eyes, a thin blade of uncertainty cutting through him.

"Abarai?" he said questioningly.

"I wazzn't finished withthebottle," he said, his words running together, "and I wazzn't finished withyouKuchiki…"

Byakuya squinted at him in surprise.

"Do you know who you are speaking with?" he asked, his reiatsu rising.

"Yeah…" Renji muttered, just this side of belligerently, "You're ByakuyafuckingKuchikithemost prettycaptainofthegoddamnedG otei13…and I'm goingtotellyouCap'nyou'refuckingbeautiful."

"I thought you were interested in my sister…" Byakuya said, his heart racing and his eyes widening.

"Well…abouthtatyousee…I ah…I wasinterested in her, but…I wasfuckingfastindated with you."

"F-fascinated?" Byakuya said, blinking.

He had never thought Renji was interested in him that way before. Wanted to surpass him, yes…wanted to have sex with his sister, also pretty obvious…but…him?

"Renji…I didn't know you were bisexual," he mused.

"Yeah?" said Renji, placing his hands on either side of the trapped noble and forcing him back against the door, "Well, I'm pretty damned surprised by that too…"

He gazed at Byakuya through deeply hazed eyes, his expression so hungry that it make Byakuya's legs weaken beneath him. He leaned forward.

"Y-yer not gonnakickme or anythin' painfullikethat'reyou?" he asked, "Cause I won't kiss you if yer gonna hurt me ferit."

He thought that it must be that he drank more than he had realized, but it might have been that he had always felt something oddly like affection for the redhead…but that affection seemed to have swelled into something more like attraction. And as Renji's mouth descended on his, he found himself torn as to what to do. He knew he should stop the redhead…that Renji was likely just acting out because he had gotten hurt and then drunk…but his ability to respond to what he should do seemed inexplicably lacking.

Renji's mouth took his forcefully, igniting something that felt like fire in his loins. Then that hard, muscular body pressed in against his and the red, biting mouth sent his mind tumbling into blackness. He felt the redhead's hands depriving him of his clothes and was dragged down onto the floor, where he found himself first, trying to pull free, then just trying to remove Renji's clothes so he could better see the markings that decorated his body. The black pattern seemed to move, hypnotizing him and inviting his hands to explore as Renji held him down and sucked at his throat, then traced his collarbone with an eager tongue. His eyelids grew heavy and the world seemed to fade away as the pleasure of Renji's mouth and hands washed over him and left him feeling weak and dizzy.

"Oh…Renji, for kami's sake, we should stop or I'll…I will…oh…oh gods…Renji…don't…don't stop…don't stop…"

The redhead's tongue sank into his navel and he gasped as his back arched reflexively.

"Youlikethathuh?" Renji mumbled, thrusting his tongue inside again and licking the area relentlessly.

"It feels…wonderful, Renji…but…but I don't know if we should…"

"Hey," Renji said, bringing his face close to Byakuya's, "don't over…over…over…"

"Overanalyze it?" Byakuya finished.

"Yeah…that…" murmured Renji, crawling back down his body and gazing at him senselessly.

"Fuckyourcockishuge…" he muttered, "I think I wannatryitokay?"

Byakuya was too entranced by the dancing tattoos too answer.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.'"

Byakuya inhaled sharply, then stared up at the lovely tanned and tattooed body that settled atop his.

"What are you doing?" he asked dizzily, "Are you going to…take me?"

"Ah…maybe after this, but…hell, I've never seen anything like this, Captain. I wanna see how this feels, okay? We can switch later, if you want to…"

"But…are you…ah…ah, Renji, are you…sure you want to…"

He inhaled sharply as the redhead moved into position over him.

"Aren't you…supposed to…" Byakuya began, but lost his breath as Renji sank down on him and loosed a howl of mingled pleasure and pain.

"Oh…Renji," Byakuya said, his vision dimming oddly, "Are you…all right? You…should have…"

"Oh…!" moaned Renji, moving his hips,


He threw his head back and moaned loudly.

"You're…unfuckingbelievableKuchiki…no…thassCaptainunfuckingbelieva bleKuchiki."

Byakuya couldn't speak anymore as he watched the beautiful sight of Renji moving his hips, swaying dangerously and moaning so erotically that he felt it all through him. Byakuya belatedly remembered where they were and raised a privacy shield as Renji's howls rose into screams of pleasure. The sound sent the noble into oblivion. The room disappeared and everything went black as pitch around him. He still heard Renji's moans of delight and then realized that his moans of pleasure were nearly as loud and unrestrained as the redhead's. He pulled Renji down and kissed him hard on the mouth, then found cognizance leaving him. He looked up into Renji's eyes again, but felt himself fading away.

"…so fucking beautiful…" he heard Renji moan, "Aishiteru yo…"

He could barely move his lips to return the sentiment and he wasn't sure whether or not Renji even heard him, until a smile crawled across the redhead's flushed face, and he pulled the noble's body close, holding him tightly as he drifted off to sleep. Satisfied that Renji's depression from earlier had eased, Byakuya slipped out of his arms and stumbled back to his room, where he showered and fell into his bed, too exhausted to even put on a yukata. As he slept, his mind spun and twisted, his mind mixing events and people until he didn't quite know what was real and what was not. He was deeply asleep and not cognizant of the voice that rose up in the hallway.

"Damn…I know I set Mrs. Yukimura's fertility booster right here. I worked for three days making that stuff just right…oh, hell…looks like I'd best get started making another batch…"

When captain and vice captain woke the next morning, neither remembered anything after leaving Orihime's apartment…