Ok, this is my first fic for this fandom, but I found this prompt the other night and I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

I apologize for any bad characterization and the such. I'll do better next time.

Fandom: Matthew Swift Series by Kate Griffin

Pairing: Matthew/Oda

Words: 475

Prompt: 500-1000 words/Description/"Wanting What You Can't Have"


Penny asked me once if I 'liked' Oda. The Aldermen told me that, as Midnight Mayor, it was my duty to stop Blackout, to kill Oda. At that, Penny stated that she'd never seen me do anything, quote, "shit-your-pants awesome". Naturally, I had to mention my pet dragon. Should've just kept my mouth shut. Penny, curious Penny, asked me why I didn't just use the dragon when Oda had blinded me. I, of course gave my usual answer.

"It's complicated."

Of course, she didn't like that answer. After taking a moment to chastise me, she asked me a question.

"Hey-you don't...you know...'like' her, do you?"

In any situation, there's always two answers to a question; the true answer, and the answer that everyone wants, maybe even needs, to hear. When the city around you is completely and utterly fucked, there's really only one reason to give.

"No. I don't 'like' her. There's not much to like..."

The conversation dropped, and she never asked me about it again...not even in the end of it all.

Penny asked me once if I 'liked' Oda.

I always called Oda psycho-bitch. I'm pretty sure that I was the only one who ever did. As soon as the Aldermen figured our that Oda was causing the city to shrink and fall into night, she was no longer a 'she'...only an 'it'. She was a 'she' only in our eyes from then on. I tried to correct them, everyone else, but they ignored me. Shocker. She asked me to save her. She asked me to kill her. I picked the wrong choice for all the right reasons. I may have said that I /wouldn't/ kill her, but when it came down to it, I /couldn't/.

Penny asked me once if I 'liked' Oda.

It wasn't until one of those odd quiet days that I was able to look back on those last moments. Penny was away getting Chinese takeaway, and the Aldermen were of doing...whatever Aldermen do when they aren't hounding me. I went for a walk. We always to for a walk when things get too cluttered. We think it has something to do with the movement. We thought back to those last moments. The desperate look on her face and tone in her voice. Her empty, pudding like eyes.

Scratched, bloody face.

My fingers tangled in hers.

Her fingers tracing around my eyes,

Our blue, bright blue eyes.

My fingers tracing her eyes.

My hand against her skin.

"Nice to see you too...Bye Matthew."

"Goodbye."

Her dying.

Blood pouring down her chest.

Blood running down her face.

"Nice to see you too...Bye Matthew."

"Goodbye."

Penny asked me once if I 'liked' Oda. I gave her the wrong answer for all the right reasons.

Penny asked me once if I 'liked' Oda. I think I should have said yes.