Here it is, the conclusion to the epic beginning of this weird and wonderful crossover. Enjoy. As always, (insert not my property here) is property of (owners of said property.)

He leapt onto the wall like a spider – a man with spider-like reflexes and abilities? I found that quite unbelievable, if I do say so myself. He was glaring at me with those golden eyes, piercing my vision. His skin was even more blinding as the sun rose higher and gleamed brighter through the window of my inn room. I heaved my axe over my shoulder and chopped it down in the direction of the vampire, its intended target the top of his angular, messy-hair-covered head. Cullen moved like quicksilver and dodged that attack too. I was utterly stumped. An incredibly fast, golden-eyed teenaged vampire was proving to be the hardest thing I had ever fought against. How to defeat this demon without really trying? I racked my brain as I aimlessly swung my axe at Cullen. He swiftly dodged every hack and chop I threw at him.

Abraham Lincoln was utterly lost for words. After blindly throwing a lit martyr at Cullen (and not doing much at all, surprisingly) hefound himself back to the wall, clutching to his axe in utter terror.

I could not believe what was happening. I was beaten at my own game by a sparkling, golden-eyed teenager. A teenager with pale, cold skin and awful hair. He approached me as I hugged my beloved axe to my chest... He bared his fangs, sharp as miniscule daggers, and breathed cold air down my neck as he came closer to my throat...

The door of the inn room opened, and a pouty, teenage housekeeper stepped in carrying a broom. She had long black hair, very pale skin, and dark green eyes. Not a vampire, just pale and very sulky. She stared at the brawl before her, shrugged, and began sweeping the broken glass from the window off the floor.

When the girl came in to clean the room, Cullen's fangs retracted. His icy presence next to my skin vanished. He had dusted himself off and was now flirting with the sullen-looking maid.

"My name is Edward Cullen," said Edward to the pale, pouty wench. With the girl's arrival, Cullen had all but forgotten the vampire hunter's presence in the room.

"I'm Isabella Swann," said the girl, without very much emotion.

"I think I'm in love with you," said Edward. His golden eyes glimmered as he stared into the girl's soul. She smiled weakly back, but quickly resumed pouting.

"Climb on, spider monkey," said the vampire, hitching Isabella onto his back. He opened the window.

The girl clung to the vampire's back like a leech to an open wound. My eyes could not believe it – he literally flew out of the window and out of sight, the wench still clinging to his back.

Abe got up from off the floor and shook himself down to get the debris off. He sighed. It wasn't often that the vampires he fought were that shallow. Or had bad taste in women.