Got bored. Figured I'd just go there for the heck of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Charlie the Unicorn.
"Hey, Blaine! Hey, Blaine, wake up."
"Yeah, Blaine, you silly sleepy head! Wake up!"
"Ugh," Blaine groaned as he lifted his face from the pillow to be greeted by the grinning faces of Wes and David. "Oh God, it's you guys. This had better be pretty freakin' important. Is Dalton on fire?"
"No, Blaine! We found a map! To Songbird Mountain! Songbird mountain, Blaine!" Wes pulled a piece of paper with purple and pink scribbles all over it to prove it.
"Yeah, Blaine! We're going to Songbird Mountain! Come with us, Blaine!" David urged.
"Yeah, Blaine! It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure, Blaine!"
Blaine stared at his so-called friends for a moment. They wake him up to go to a place that doesn't exist. Surprisingly, that sounded just like them. He glanced at the paper Wes held. It looked like it was finger painted by a kindergartener.
"Yeah, Songbird Mountain, right." Blaine rubbed eyes. "Guys, in case you haven't noticed, it's Saturday. People like to sleep in on Saturdays, especially me since I stayed up until midnight finishing that English report. I deserve more than five hours of sleep." He put his head back into the blissful softness of the pillow. Just go back to sleep, they'll go away...
"Noooooo, Blaine!" Wes climbed onto Blaine's bed and started jumping up and down violently. "You have to come with us to Songbird Mountain!"
"Yeah, Blaine! Songbird Mountain! It's a land of songs and joy. And joyness."
"Please stop jumping on me," Blaine grunted, muffled by the pillow as Wes moved to jump on Blaine's back. "You're going to snap my spine."
"Songbird Mountain, Blaine!"
"Yeah, Songbird Mountain!"
"Alright fine!" Blaine growled harshly. He knew they wouldn't leave him alone otherwise. "I'll go with you to Songbird Mountain!"
As they walked through the halls, Wes and David began to loudly sing Teenage Dream. Not only that, but it was butchered and severely out of tune. There was a reason he was the lead singer and not either of them.
"Okay! Enough with the singing already," Blaine snapped as they entered the cafeteria. A migraine was coming on...
"Our first stop is over there, Blaine!" Wes pointed to the garbage cans. He and David rushed over to one and peered inside. Blaine blanched when he looked inside as well.
"Oh God, what is that?"
"It's yesterday's lunch, Blaine!" Wes smiled as he appeared unfazed by the contents.
"Magical yesterday's lunch!" David corrected with a wide grin on his face.
"It's going to guide our way to Songbird Mountain!"
"Okay, guys?" Blaine backed away from the trash to avoid puking. "You do know there's no actual Songbird Mountain, right? And that you're just insane?"
"Shun the nonbeliever!" Wes exclaimed.
"Yeah," Blaine deadpanned. Suddenly, a gurgling came from the depths of the garbage can Blaine had no interest in looking back into. The bubbly squirting sounds alone were enough to make him nauseous.
"It has spoken!"
"It has told us the waaay!"
"It didn't say anything! It's regurgitated chicken breast!" Blaine called after the two as they headed onwards. "It doesn't talk!"
"It's just down this Teacher's Hallway, Blaine!" Wes stated as he headed down the hallway, followed by David.
"This magical Teacher's Hallway, of hope and wonder!"
"Does anyone else feel like they're being watched?" Blaine asked, paranoid. He looked at all of the paintings whose eyes seemed to be following them. "This is the Teacher's Hallway! I don't think we should be here!"
"Blaine! Blaaaaaine! Blaaaaaaiiiiiiiine! Blaaaa—"
"I'm right behind you, Wes! What do you want?" Blaine interrupted in a jumpy way.
"We're breaking the rules, Blaine!"
"Well, what do you know. There actually is a Songbird Mountain." Blaine stared at the banner that proclaimed so. It was rather suspicious, being a wall covered in a bunch of cut out birds and musical notes slanted around a door that Blaine was pretty sure led to a closet. But at least the way the decorations were slanted made it look like a flat mountain.
"Songbird Mountain! Songbird Mountain! You fill me with sweet, melodic goodness!" Wes skipped around in a circle, probably high off of sniffing markers.
"Go inside the Songbird Mountain Cave, Blaine!" David persuaded, gesturing to the door.
"Yeah, Blaine! Go inside the cave! Magical wonders that will behold when you enter!"
"Thanks, but no thanks. It's 5:30am on a Saturday and I'd really like to go back to sleep, so..." Blaine tried to inch away.
"But you have to enter the Songbird Mountain Songbird Cave, Blaine!"
Music started to pipe out of nowhere. A line of boys Blaine knew to be Warblers appeared from around a nearby corner, each dressed up as a letter. They spelt the word "Songbird" which was, in itself, creepy. But then the "D" stepped out and started singing with the other letters dancing backup.
Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up!
Then just head right on up to the Songbird Mountain Cave!
When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land!
It's a happy and joyfilled and perky, merry land!
"This can't be happening."
They've got Lady GaGa, The Band Perry, and harmonic things!
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day!
It's impossible to wear a frown in Songbird Town!
It's the Mecca of Love, the Songbird Cave!
"I need a Valium. Or two."
They've got Nickelback and Ke$ha with more talent!
Barbra Streisand, Katy Perry, it's a wonderland of notes!
Ride the Songbird train to town and hear the Warblers!
Sleigh bells, it's a treat as they march across the land!
"Make that three."
Lyric ribbons stream across the sky into the ground
Turn around, it astounds!
It's a dancing canary tree!
"Someone shoot me. Please."
In the Songbird cave imagination runs so free!
So now, Blaine, will you please go into the cave?
With a poof of smoke, the letters had disappeared. Blaine coughed and swatted at the smoke as Wes and David, who had joined the dancing Letter-Warblers, returned to his side.
"Ugh, okay. I'll go into the Songbird Cave!" Blaine surrendered as he opened the door. Just a pitch black walk-in closet. He went in, leaving the door open. "This had better be good."
Blaine heard laughter from behind him.
"Yeah, goodbye Blaine!"
"Goodbye? What are you guys talk—" They shut the closet door and locked it from the outside. "What? Hey! Not funny!" The movement of clothes hangers alerted Blaine. "Hello? Who's there?"
"Ow... ugh. What happened?" Blaine sat up and ran a hand through his hair. Was that all a dream? He looked about him. Everything looked normal... except... his eyes fell on his bedside table.
"They took my twelve page English report!"
But Mrs. Meadows! Wes and David stole my homework!
Don't think she'll buy it. Oh well! Poor Blaine.
I may or may not do the sequel and threequel. Depends on the reception from this, I guess. And how much I'm in need of a break from doing my own 12 pg English report. Writing this when I should be doing that. *facepalm*
Completely un-beta'd. I take full credit for mistakes and plot holes and screw ups and "Oh my god, that story was horrible".