Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds, OR Dairy Queen.

Can be taken as a Hotch/Reid if you want.

Fort Worth, Texas

10:42 PM

"Welcome to Dairy Queen, may I take your order?" Melanie asked, cheerfully.

"—skinny little ass out the door!" A male voice laughed over her headphones.

"You wouldn't dare!" Squeaked a younger male voice.

"Try me, Pretty Boy!" Chuckled the first voice.

"Ignore him, Spence, you know we won't let him." Said a woman.

"Alright people, enough." Chimed in the rough voice of an older man.

"Hey Morgan, you—" Began a second woman, but she was cut off by a voice that radiated authority.

"I am trying to order here! Now shut up! All of you!"

"Yes SIR, thank you very much SIR!" barked the first male voice.

"Morgan!" Snarled the Authority.


"Uh…" Melanie said, hesitantly. The Authority responded.

"Sorry about that. Okay, can you give me your orders in a civilized manner?"


"STOP! One at a time!" The man howled.

"Sorry, Hotch." Called the younger male that the one called Morgan had been teasing.

"Kiss ass..." Morgan grumbled.

"Okay, Emily."

"French Silk Pie Blizzard." Announced the second woman.

"Strawberry CheeseQuake." Called the first woman.

"… You mean cheese CAKE." Argued the youngest man.

"No, it's Cheese QUAKE! Read the menu, Reid." The first woman said.

"… That doesn't make any SENSE!" Reid insisted.

"It's a play on words, it doesn't HAVE to make—"

"Shut up back there!" Howled the eldest man. "Reid?"

"… Do they have a coffee flavored one?"


"REALLY, kid?" Morgan asked. Melanie perched herself on a stool and prepared for more entertainment.

"Actually." She said cheerfully. "We do. Heath Mocha."

"I want that one! Without the Heath..." Reid called, and there were more groans.

"Hotch! Make the boy branch out!" Morgan called.

"He can have whatever he wants." Hotch said, and Melanie heard the sound of someone blowing a raspberry.

"Boy, I will beat your white ass!"

"I'm gonna tell Garcia that you're threatening me!"

"You –"

"ENOUGH!" Came the gruff older man.

"Dave?" Asked Hotch.


"Okay, one Heath Blizzard." Hotch called to Melanie. "One Mint Oreo—"

"Oh, gross." Emily exclaimed.

"That's enough, Agent Prentiss. Morgan?"

"Cookie Dough!"

"Oh, gross!" Reid blurted.

"It's good!"


"I'm gonna make you try some, and you'll like it."

"No way! And besides, did you know that raw cookie dough is—"

"Oh, shut up, kid." Morgan sighed while more groans went around the car.

"Enough, all of you!" Hotch barked.

"Um… anything else?" Melanie asked.

"… I don't know, how many is that?" Hotch asked.

"I have one French Silk Pie Blizzard, one Strawberry CheeseQuake—"

"Cheese CAKE!"

"REID!" Came the frustrated chorus.

"—One mocha no Heath , one Heath, one Mint Oreo and one Cookie Dough."

"Sounds right." Hotch said.

"What size do you want these to be?" Melanie asked, and there was immediately a chorus of voices.

"SHUT UP!" Hotch barked. "Mint Oreo is medium. Prentiss, your Silk Pie one?"



"I'll have a small Strawberry Cheese QUAKE."

"CAKE!" Reid cried in frustration, but was drowned out by the groans of all the others, getting on JJ's case for provoking him. Melanie was fighting hard not to giggle.

"The Mocha?"


"Oh, like you need more caffeine and sugar." Morgan snorted. "I'll take my cookie dough in a large, too."

"Look who's talking. RAW DOUGH! Food poisoning is inevitable." Reid snorted.

"The cookie dough is safe Reid." Morgan sighed.

"I'll have my Heath as a medium." Dave said.

"Okay." Melanie called, and everyone quieted down. "Medium Heath and Mint Oreo—"

"Gross!" Prentiss hissed.

"—Large Mocha and Cookie Dough—"

"Poison in a cup!"

"Shut up, Reid!"

"—And Small French Silk Pie and Strawberry CheeseQuake—"

"Reid, I swear to God, if you say it…" Dave threatened, and the others laughed.

"Cheesequake…" JJ giggled. "Cheesequake! CHEESEQUAKE!"

"REID!" Dave growled again.

"But she's—"

"I don't care."

"Uhg…" Hotch groaned.

"Anything else?" Melanie asked.


"… Can I have a coffee?"

"Reid… We already ordered you a Coffee Blizzard."

"But I want a coffee, too!" Everyone groaned.

"Fine. And a coffee. With several packets of sugar."

"Hotch, that's the LAST thing he needs!" Prentiss laughed.

"You don't have to share a hotel room with him and put up with his whining if he doesn't get it." Hotch snorted.

"Hey!" Reid whined.

"I rest my case."

"HEY!" Reid howled, and the people all laughed.

"Anything else?" Melanie asked.

"That's it." Hotch said.

"Alright, that's going to be thirty two forty two."

"Hotch, this is on you, right?" Morgan asked.

"Nope. It's on the Bureau."

"Hah! I love it when we stick the Bureau with the bill!" Prentiss laughed.

Melanie was waiting by the window when the vehicle pulled up.

A stern looking man in a suit was driving. A man with salt and pepper hair and beard was in the passenger seat. Two women sat in the middle seat of the SUV, a blonde and a brunette. In the back were two men, as different as night and day. One had dark skin, a toned physique, a t-shirt and a cocky smirk with a shaved head. The other man was thin as a rake, pale, long messy hair, a childish pout and wearing a dorky tie and sweater vest with a cardigan over it. His arms and legs were crossed and he was sulking.

The driver, who she assumed was 'Hotch', handed over a credit card. She smiled at him and ran it, then handed it back.

"Busy night?"

"You have no idea." Hotch snorted, and the other man, who she assumed was 'Dave', chuckled.

"It's all over for the rest of us." Dave said. "You get to share a room with a kid hyped up on sugar and caffeine."

"Shut up, Dave."

"Of course, that means you'll have—"

"Reid, you're bunking with Rossi tonight!"

"WHAT?" Yelped the pouting kid in the back seat. "But… he SNORES!" The girls and the black man all burst out laughing. Even Hotch smirked and shot a smug look at Dave. "And so does Morgan! You really wanna bunk with him?"

"Hey!" Laughed the black man.

"At least Morgan won't be bouncing off the walls." The blonde woman giggled, and Reid sat back with a huff and went back to pouting. Hotch just chuckled.

"Here's your coffee." Melanie said, handing the cup out the window.

"Thank you." Hotch said, and sipped it.

"HEY!" Reid howled from the back seat. Grinning, Hotch took another sip before passing the cup back. JJ also took a sip before passing the cup back and Reid grumbled, clutching his cup possessively.

"Okay, French Silk Pie and Strawberry CheeseQuake." Melanie announced, passing the treats out to Hotch, who passed them back. Reid muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'Cheese CAKE... you people are insane...'

"Man! Reid!" Morgan laughed. "Let it go!"

"A medium Mint Oreo and Heath."

"Thank you." Hotch said, passing one to Rossi and putting the other in his cup holder.

"Aaaand, Large Mocha and Cookie Dough."

Reid opened his mouth but Morgan smacked a hand over it, reaching out to get his Blizzard. Reid accepted his. Morgan took the long, plastic spoon and scooped up some of the Blizzard with a chunk of cookie dough.

"Hey Reid."

"What? AHHMMM!" Reid yelped when Morgan shoved the spoon into his mouth.

"See? Cookie Dough is good!"

"Mo'gan!" Reid wailed around the soft serve and cookie dough on his tongue.

"Like it?" Morgan asked. Hotch rolled his eyes and began to pull away.

"Hey JJ, lemme try the Strawberry CheeseQuake." Melanie heard the brunette ask.

"Cheese CAKE!"

As the car left, Melanie heard the entire car full of people chorus as one, "REID!"

And then, one small little voice drifted back. "Actually... That cookie dough's not bad..."



Hopefully this will keep you until the next big fic comes up. I am STILL working on them... Alas Babylon is already 9 chapters long, and Knights of the Old Republic is at 15. And neither of them are close to being finished. Holy crap. _ I'm trying to work on some other things that will be ready sooner, but we'll see!

Please review! And don't forget the poll up on my profile!