Author's Note:

This fits in with my story Megamind's Life with Roxanne, but can stand on its own.

Don't sue me. I own nothing.

"We meet again, Miss Ritchi," the villain Megamind paces slowly towards his favorite victim who is tied into her normal kidnapping chair. This time it is positioned on an unfamiliar rooftop in the heart of downtown Metro City.

"If you just give me the bag, I will wash it for you," answers Roxanne Ritchi, "It seriously reeks."

"I think you will find the bag merely the beginning of many unpleasantnesses awaiting you as victim of the Master of all Villainy." His face is mere inches from Roxanne's now. If she were desperate to escape she'd head-butt the alien on his giant blue forehead and send him sprawling. But since she'd still be tied up, that wouldn't gain her much and she doesn't really want to hurt him, since he's always so careful not to hurt her.

"Uh-huh." her arms are fastened securely behind her but her legs are free. Since she's wearing jeans, she draws her legs up onto the chair and sits indian-style, looking around her to see what he has in store for her this time. Unfortunately, today's evil inventions are covered by tarps and she can't make out what they are. "Okay, what have you got for me this time?" she asks, but then immediately interrupts him as an idea occurs to her, "Wait! Can I guess?" This might be fun.

"Your poor human mind cannot possibly predict the vicious terrors," his raises his hand like a claw grabbing something out of the air, "that await you today."

"You've been kidnapping me for more than 3 years. I think I've noticed a pattern." answers the damsel calmly.

"There is no pattern to my ee-vil," he objects.

"Scared to let me guess?" she continues, "Chicken?" she adds.

Megamind clenches his jaw. "You dare to challenge me, Miss Ritchi?"

She smiles, "Yes. In fact, I double-dare you!" This is going to be so much fun. She's so glad he kidnapped her today.

Megamind gives an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes, "Fine. Guess, if you must."

"What are the stakes?" Roxanne asks.


"Yes. What do I get if I win?"

"Ee-vil does not hand out prizes to its hostages!" he stomps off, a short distance, his cape billowing in the wind.

"So, you're conceding defeat already?"

"Defeat? How can I be defeated when you're the one tied to the chair, Miss Ritchi?"

"Well, if you're not secure enough in your own villainy to accept my challenge..." she shrugs.

"What terms were you thinking of?" he asks quietly. He wonders if this might actually be fun.

"If you win, I'll be a good little victim for you. I'll even scream." She smiles. She knows how to pull his strings.

"You'll scream for me?" Roxanne never screams for Megamind, a source of frustration to the villain. She's really not a very good hostage, but always serves her purpose, drawing her goody-two-shoes boyfriend Metro Man right into Megamind's evil traps. But to hear her scream for him...

"But when I win..." Two conflicting prizes are in her mind. As a reporter, her first thought is to demand an exclusive interview with the alien who, despite years of nearly weekly kidnapping, she still knows little about. But those years of being a victim, needing constant rescuing by Metro Man, have also left her with another fantasy.

She grins evilly at Megamind, who is surprised to find such an expression on his victim's face. A brief thought flickers across his impressive mind. If she were evil, what a villainess she would make! Could she be turned to the dark side? Mental images of her in skin-tight leather and spikes bring an appreciative smile to his face, which he quickly suppresses, forcing himself to scowl at her once more. That's something to think about for later, perhaps.

"I'm tired of having to have Metro Man swoop in and save me all the time. Just once, I'd like to be my own hero and take you back to prison myself. So, if I win, you don't call Metro Man. Instead, you let me tie you up and I'll take you to jail instead."

Megamind swallows, "You want to tie me up? I think being in my company may be wearing off on you, Miss Ritchi. That sounds decidedly evil." He's next to her again, his green eyes locked with her blue ones, searching for a clue to her motivations. He notes how dilated her pupils are. Is she enjoying this? "Interesting. You are a temptress." that last is a whisper, if only...

Roxanne breaks his gaze and shakes herself slightly. What is wrong with her? Staring into his eyes like that? His beautiful eyes... Stop it, she tells herself. Aloud she says, "No, I want to tie you up and take you to jail. That would make me the hero, not the villain. Are you up for the challenge?"

"You're on!" he growls, spinning away to pace across the roof again, unable to stand still, "What terror-inspiring surprise have I in store for you and your meddlesome do-gooder today, Miss Ritchi?"

"Wait. Minion?"

"Yes Miss Ritchi?" The alien fish had been listening with interest to the conversation, but had thought better than to get involved.

"Do you know what he was planning for today."

"Oh, yes. I always help him with all his evil plans. He's particularly proud of today's-"

"Stop! Minion, do not tell her the plan. She has to guess." he lowers his voice, "No cheating, Miss Ritchi."

"No, of course not. I just wanted to make sure the contest was fair. Minion can judge it. Can't have the evil villain resorting to lies to cheat his way to victory." She smiles innocently.

"No, of course not." Drat!

"Hmmm..." she thinks through his last several evil plans and makes her guess, "You're going to hang me off the side of the building while you test the limits of Metro Man's invulnerability with a new weapon mounted on a giant scorpion robot."

Minion gasps. Megamind shrieks, "How did you guess that?"

She shrugs, "You've been leaning toward giant bug robots lately. You haven't done a scorpion yet and here it is November. That's Scorpio, right? We're up high, so you're going to threaten to drop me. Not that hard to guess."

Megamind's mouth is hanging open. He gains control of it again and asks, "What sort of weapon?"

"Does it matter? It won't work. He's in-vul-ner-able." she says slowly, "You'd have better luck trying to blow out the sun."

Sadly, he knows that is not as impossible as it sounds, but it is not something he has any desire to witness again. It's a tragedy he knows she's unaware of. So, he merely continues his banter. "If you can't guess, then I win, my dear Miss Ritchi."

"Oh, let's say..." She really has no clue and glances about, her eyes falling on Megamind's blue lightning bolt logo. "...lightning."

Minion stares at Roxanne with respect. Megamind says, "Miss Ritchi, you may be the least depressingly stupid woman on this entire planet."

"Thank you. Now, are you going to pay up?"

Megamind is a villain of his word. Half an hour later the invisible car stops a block from the nearest police station. Megamind climbs awkwardly out, followed by Roxanne. She had bound his hands tightly behind his back in the car, an experience Megamind found less unpleasant than he expected. Minion closes the invisible car door and drives away. He parks it unseen nearby to watch what happens.

Megamind starts to walk toward the police station. "Wait." orders Roxanne. He stops obediently and she walks around in front of him. She reaches up and unclasps his cape. "If I'm the hero, then I need a cape to wear, don't I?" She proceeds to drape his cape over her own shoulders.

"Shouldn't a hero's cape be white?" he asks her.

She shrugs, "I like black better."

Megamind runs an appreciative eye over Roxanne wearing his cape and thinks he's rather glad he lost this bet. He should definitely look into plans to turn her to evil. Wouldn't that break Metro Man's stupid heart?

"Start walking, spaceman," she orders.

She marches him down the sidewalk to the police station where several surprised officers take the villain into custody. When they ask her what happened, she merely smiles and says, "He lost a bet."

o 0 o 0 o 0 o

She removes the cape when she leaves the police station, carrying it draped over one arm. She carries it home, feeling that she's gained a unique souvenir from today's kidnapping. She tosses it carelessly over the back of her couch.

Later, dressed in her nightgown she returns to the living room to watch a movie before bed. The cape is still lying where she left it and, on a whim, she puts it back on and admires her reflection in the hall mirror. She wraps it around herself and spins cheerfully to make it fly out around her. She laughs at her own silliness and sweeps dramatically across the room to flop gracelessly onto the couch. It smells like him, she realizes and breathes in deeply, letting his scent fill her nose. It smells of leather and sweat and musk. She finds it surprisingly pleasant. She sighs to herself and turns her attention to her movie, which soon lulls her to sleep, still wrapped in the warm, soft folds of his cape. In her dreams, the cape turns into his arms and she explores the possibilities of being his captive in an entirely new sense, glad for once not to be rescued. She doesn't remember the guilty pleasure of her dreams in the morning, but enjoys them all through the night.

Outside Metro Man watches her through the window, wondering what it means.

o 0 o 0 o 0 o

Megamind is helping Roxanne pack up her apartment in preparation for moving to the lair after their fast approaching wedding. He walks into her bedroom, a place he has only rarely entered, and picks up a couple of boxes stacked on the bed. As he turns to carry them out of the room, something hanging on a hook on the back of the bedroom door, nearly hidden against the wall, catches his eye. One of his capes. That's strange, he doesn't remember leaving one here. He drapes it across the boxes and carries it all into the living room to add to the other boxes waiting to be taken downstairs.

"Roxanne, when did I leave this here?"

"Hmm?" she turns to see what he's talking about and her face turns red, "I forgot about that."

He cocks a quizzical eyebrow at her.

"That's the cape I took from you when I won that bet and got to take you to the police myself."

"You kept it? That was more than two years ago."

"Well, it was a souvenir." She was still blushing.

"Why does my old cape make you blush like that?" a suspicion occurs to him, "Why was it hanging in your bedroom?" a sly smile creeps onto his face.

"Because sometimes I'd...wear it. " she won't look him in the eye, but he sees that she's grinning.

"You'd wear my cape. Back when I was still a villain?" That is very interesting.

She nods, still not looking at him.


Finally she meets his eyes as she tries to explain, "I don't know. I liked the way I looked in it. The way it swirled around. The way it...smelled like you. It felt good. Warm and comforting. I'd wear it when I was feeling lonely at night. It helped me sleep."

"You were sleeping in my cape?" Even more interesting.


"Roxanne, did you have a crush on your abductor?"

"Maybe just a little." she concedes, "He was incredibly handsome, after all."

He laughs and carries the cape over to her and fastens it around her shoulders. Then he stands back to admire it, "My dear, you look stunning in black."

Author's Note:

I swiped the line about being the least depressingly stupid woman on the planet from one of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books. It wasn't an exact quote, but it came from Marvin talking about Trillian.

The second chapter is an alternate ending.

Oh, and review! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.