Dear few remaining readers, I know this update has been ridiculously delayed. Sorry! Thank you all for your kind reviews, favourites or simply reading it. I don't really have an excuse, but I've swapped having a dissertation but no internet for having internet but no dissertation, so hopefully things will improve.

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Thorin Oakenshield wrote on Gandalf!'s wall: Where on Middle Earth were you?

Gandalf!: Looking ahead.

Nori: What brought you back in the nick of time?

Gandalf!: Looking behind.

Oin: You'll never get accurate information out of a wizard determined to be enigmatic.

Gandalf!: A wizard is never enigmatic. Nor is he informative. He reveals precisely what he means to.

Dwalin: You're acting like the bad guy who betrays everyone at the end, and everyone's like 'we should have seen this coming, remember how he kept MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARING and then returning AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT MOMENT?'

Gandalf! set fire to Dwalin's beard using Inexplicable Wizard Powers.

Balin: See, Dwalin, what did I tell you? Wizards are quick to anger, and not very subtle.

Gandalf!: Well, if you insist, I met some of Elrond's people. They told me there were trolls in the area; I came back and rescued you. Now I wish I hadn't bothered.

Gloin: Elrond's people? This isn't something to do with… elves… is it?

Gloin: Trolls, Elves… whatever next? I'm almost looking forward to meeting a dragon after all this lot.

Ori: is having an identity crisis. I can never remember which dwarf I am :(

Fili Thorinsnephew: I know exactly how you feel.

Nori: You're the ugly one.

Ori and Nori are no longer friends.

Dori: You two are an embarrassment.

FiliThorinsnephew, KiliThorinsnephew, Oin, Gloin, Balin, Dwalin, Ori, Dori and Nori joined the group 'Having Rhyming Names doesn't Mean We're the Same'

Bofur: It pretty much does, sorry. We uniquely-named dwarves never bother to tell you apart.

Bifur: Hey, your group name rhymes! Is that intentional?

Professor Tolkien: Perfectly valid names. Perfectly legitimate naming system. Don't know what you're complaining about.

Bombur: I'm hungry

Bilbo Baggins likes this.

Gandalf!: I will never again go adventuring with ungrateful dwarves.

Bilbo Baggins: Ha!

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins changed her location to Bag-End

Hamfast Gamgee disapproves of this.

Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf! started playing Troll Treasure Hunt

Thorin Oakenshield and Gandalf! received Mysterious Runic Blades in Troll Treasure Hunt

Gandalf! scored a new high score in Troll Treasure Hunt

Bilbo Baggins received Quite a Small Sword in Troll Treasure Hunt.

Bilbo Baggins: Has a sword!

Thorin Oakenshield: Don't worry, Mr Burglar, there will be no occasion for you to use it. We'll do all the hard work: You can rely on us to take care of you.

Gandalf! added 'maybe being enigmatic' to his interests.

Gandalf!: was sure that Rivendell was around here somewhere…

Bilbo Baggins: Rivendell?

Gandalf: The Last Homely House

Bilbo Baggins: Last? Last before what? The last before the end of our adventure?

Gandalf!: I've never met a burglar who asked so many confounded questions.

Bilbo Baggins: Elves! Good gracious me.

Thirteen dwarves don't like this.

Gloin: They're extremely ill-mannered. And none of them have beards! I'm just glad my son isn't here to be corrupted by their strange ways. He's at an impressionable age.

Bilbo Baggins added 'Elvish singing under the moon in June' to his interests.

Elrond Half-Elven added 'Disapproving of Dwarves', 'Disapproving of Treasure', 'Reminiscing' and 'Disapproving of Mortals' to his interests.

Elrond Half-Elven added 'Giving Advice' to his interests.

Thorin Oakenshield: Totally unfair. I should have been the one to discover the secret moon-letters on this map!

Bilbo Baggins: Ooh, what do they say? How exciting!

Bilbo Baggins became a fan of Rivendell.

Gandalf!: LOL Elrond always makes me laugh. Nobody with those eyebrows should wear so much purple.

Elrond Half-Elven added 'Disapproving of Gandalf' to his interests.

Bilbo Baggins: Is that the Lonely Mountain?

Gandalf!: LOL Hobbits.

Bilbo Baggins: Well, I should like to know! Is it?

Balin: No, it's just the Misty Mountains. Full of wargs. Orcs. Storms. Hypothermia.

Dwalin: I'm sure Gandalf will get us safely across. What could go wrong?

Gandalf! created the group 'Overheard While Questing' and added Thirteen Dwarves to the group.

Gandalf! wrote on the wall of the group 'Overheard while Questing': Things Hobbits say, LOL. Bilbo thought the Misty Mountains were the Lonely Mountain! LMHO.

Fili Thorinsnephew: LMHO?

Dori: Let Me Hit Ori?

Kili Thorinsnephew: Lonely Mountain Hobbit Oglers?

Bombur: I think it means 'Laugh My Hat Off', because that's what Gandalf just did.

Bilbo Baggins: People who are more than an Age old shouldn't use LOL.