(Get It Out) Before It Swallows You Up
Fandom: Magnificent Seven
Pairing: Buck/Vin, Vin/Chris, Buck/Chris, (mentioned) Chris/Ella
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, sexual content, mentions of Ella Gaines
Author: Lily Zen
Notes: This is my first foray into the Magnificent Seven and of course, I chose to do something difficult with my first piece. It is (mostly) written in the first person. There are no descriptions, as the entire piece is based on a dialogue between Buck and Vin. However, in each section you only get to read one side of the conversation. It sounds weird, but give it a shot. This takes place during Obsession right after Chris tells Vin off for trying to insinuate that Ella's up to something.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
I'd loved Larabee for as long as I'd known him. First as a friend, then a brother; finally as a lover. Kinda in…in… Aw, hell, know there's a word for it; maybe I'll ask Ez. He'd know for sure. It's on the tip of my tongue, I tell ya. Well, y'know what I mean, don'cha? When blood relations get involved in a romantic kinda way? Oh, I know they ain't s'posed to do that. Babies come out all screwy and such. Still, ain't gonna lie and say it don't happen. It does, prob'ly a whole lot more often than ya'd like to think.
Anyways, where was I?
Oh yeah, Chris Larabee, the man in black, fastest gunslinger I'd ever seen, and hell, pard, I seen a lot of 'em. I fought in the War and was a Ranger for awhile. I seen a hell of a lotta men who could pull their pistols fast, but ain't none of 'em as fast as Chris. Sometimes I fancy it happens faster than ya can blink.
Still, I gotta admit I love that stubborn, ol' cuss. He's a mean drunk and just as like to pummel ya as he is to laugh with ya when he gets that way, but damn do I love him. His tempestuous (ha, how you like that five-dollar word?) nature is one of them things that draws me in, I guess. I'm just as much a sucker for a fierce woman as I am for Chris. Guess that kinda passion reminds me of my ma a bit. Oh, don't get me wrong, she was the best lady you'da ever known, but she had her moods and she embraced 'em all with gusto. I suspect that's part of how she was able to earn her living the way she did for so long. It's a hard life—believe me, I seen enough girls gettin' beat on and used harshly to know that. I seen behind the curtain, as the saying goes, seen 'em bruised and crying, battered and so miserable they can't make a sound. Even if yer lucky and ya never get a bad customer, it still wears on a woman's soul. My ma, I expect that she stoked the flames of her emotions high so as not to let it get to her. A shield, maybe, so's she'd be strong for me.
So I s'pose it's not all that surprising that'd be the one thing I can't resist in a person. Not even when he gets all liquored up and starts throwin' punches. Hell, I just throw one back and knock that sum'bitch right out, let 'im sleep it off. 'Course now that I know Nathan, I know I really shouldn't be doin' that so much. He's always sayin' how head injuries are funny, and sometimes people go to sleep and never wake up again. I don't know what I'd do if Chris ended up like that. Prob'ly start wearin' all black and goin' on week-long benders.
Pard, I gotta tell ya, he was right terrible after Sarah 'n Adam died. For months he tried to find their killer in between bouts with the bottle, but when nothin' came of it he stopped tryin' to get sober altogether. He just kept drinkin' and drinkin'. I couldn't get 'im to stop no matter what I did. Eventually, he got so low on account of the booze that I had to take his guns away, if you know what I mean. Those were dark times. It was all I could do to mitigate (Ezra should pay attention to me when I talk, could learn somethin' 'bout the English language from me; got some damn good words in here) the damage.
I stayed for as long as I could, 'til I figured out that what I was doin' wasn't helping him any. I was just giving him a safety net, something to fall back on. It's okay, Ol' Buck will fix it. I knew I had to leave if only for my own peace o' mind. Didn't want to, but I had to. It was time. Chris was either gonna sink or swim on his own. Either way, I couldn't be responsible for him no more. Not when it was killin' me inside.
So I left him. Never stopped lovin' the bastard, but I left him there in a cheap room at a boarding house in some dusty little boomtown. Not Four Corners. Nah, it was somewhere else in the territory. We'd gotten kicked out from the last place we was in, and Larabee was on one of his benders, mood all black like he gets. Anyways, so we stopped in this little shithole and I got us a room, and Chris picked a fight with me. Lemme tell ya, I was in no mood to be tangled with that night. Tired, dirty, horny, hungry, frustrated; you name it, I was there. So when he tried reachin' for another bottle, the whole reason we was in that little shit town in the middle of the night in the first place, I plumb snapped. We ended up having one hell of a scrap, but Larabee was drunk so I had a distinct advantage. Clocked him upside the head and left 'im where he lay. I took off like a bat outta hell that night.
I was done. I'd had enough.
I ain't no glutton for punishment and I weren't about to let Chris drag me to the grave with 'im if that's where he was determined to go. May have certain feelin's for the man, but that ain't enough cause for me to bear all I was. Not for as long as I was.
I guess Chris must'a sobered up enough to realize that he'd finally pushed me too far or something.
Or maybe he got sober 'cause he didn't have any choice, and he really didn't want to die. Not without finding the man who killed his family.
Either way, he cleaned up his act a bit and boy, was I pleasantly surprised to find him in Four Corners. So surprised that I didn't even care that I was huggin' him in full view of the town with my pants around my ankles. Didn't matter to me. I had Chris back and I could tell by the look of him that he wasn't drunk, which was a definite change from the last time I'd laid eyes on the man. He flashed that naughty smile at me and I knew that at least for the moment I had my Chris back.
Sorry, Vin, what's that? No, no, say it again, pard. I got a little lost in thought is all.
I said it was his eyes, Bucklin. Them serious, stormy eyes starin' at me from 'cross the street. Pulled me right in. Ain't never had somethin' like that happen ta me a'fore. Don't think it ever will 'gain. Lots'a Indians believe in soul mates. Don't smirk, Bucklin, I know yer a big ol' softie at heart. Soul mates don't have to be lovers. Sex don't gotta have anythin' to do with it. Sometimes it's like bein' siblings or student and teacher. Other times it goes deeper than that. Point is that them two people, whoever they is to each other, understand each other soul-deep in an instant, know each other better than they know themselves or anybody else.
That's how I felt when I seen Chris that first time. Like I'd found a piece o' me I didn't know was missin'. 'Course, I didn't have no notion of lust right then and there. Weren't time to think on them kinda things. I just knew I had to be around him, be with him, the way the moon is with the earth.
Shut up, Bucklin. You don't have'ta say anythin'. I can tell yer laughin' by the way yer touchin' yer mouth, tryin' ta keep from smilin'. Think I'm bein' real flowery and romantic, don'tcha? Well, just remember I hear them awful lines you spout to get the ladies. Don't know how that shit works. If I was them, I'da just laugh in yer face, even with that there stupid grin on it. 'Animal magnetism,' my bony ass.
…So when did I realize-?
Oh, well, it weren't 'til after the fight at the Seminole village. I reckon I's about to ride out and Larabee was sittin' in the saloon, pouring shots for his-self. He offered me one 'n tried to get me ta stay in town an extra couple'a days. Said he wanted whiskey, a bed, and more whiskey, but it weren't really what he said so much as how he said it, the look on his face; the wicked grin, all tempting and full of unrepentant (got me some fancy words too, eh, pard?) sin. It sent a quick pulse of need singin' right along my nerves. That was when I figured out I didn't just want Chris as my friend; I wanted something more if'n I could get it.
'Cept it never quite got there.
I thought maybe for awhile that he was with you. Aw, hell, Buck, you ain't as good at playin' it close to the chest as you think you are. Every time he was lookin' somewhere else, you were lookin' at him. He looks at you too, y'know? Like that, when you ain't lookin', when you're all busy, wrapped up in some gal. Don't know if it's 'cause he's jealous or if he just watches ta make sure you're okay. His eyes get all quiet, closed off.
I got no idea if he ever looks at me like that. Wish he would, hope he does, but…hell, even if he did, I don't think he'd know what ta do after. I got a feelin' that he's never sated his-self with another man. Just do, Bucklin. Not that I'm mad 'bout it. Most guys ain't, wouldn't even think to. I figure I'm a little more open-minded than some just from seein' it when I was with the Indians. They's a little more relaxed 'bout that sorta thing.
Can't help but think 'bout what it'd be like, though. I got these thoughts, these feelin's in me that I got nowhere to put. Reckon maybe that's why I went off with Charlotte. I knew it was crazy even as I was doin' it, but I just wanted somewhere to put all this, some place that wouldn't get me shot, dead, or worse. Charlotte needed somebody ta love her 'n I needed to love somebody.
Shit, now I'm gettin' all choked up.
…What the hell are ya doin', Bucklin?
Well, I reckon I'm kissin' you, pard.
You looked sad, and I'm sad but maybe if we share the burden it won't be so heavy anymore. Don't overthink it, Vin. You said it yourself: Chris don't want either one of us, not the way we do him. So it ain't no use, saving yourself like some sweet little virgin for her wedding night.
Feels nice, doesn't it? My lips on yours, moving soft and slow, just a little tickle of tongue. And see, you ain't gettin' all mist-eyed anymore.
Hmm, you're a good kisser, Vin. Dueling with me, then surrendering so I can explore ya, and smoothly turning the tables so you can do the same. I liked how you sucked my tongue before you pulled away. That was very—oh, what's the word?—erotic to me. It's a little surprising, gotta admit. I never much thought about it before, but if I'd had to hazard a guess I'da said you probably kissed like you spoke: straightforward, to the point, not mincing words or adding bits of fluff that don't need to be there to get your point across.
Now that I know you better—and not just 'cause my tongue's been in your mouth—I should'a re-thought that. I forget that you wrote that poem for the paper. You probably got a whole bunch more written, maybe not written down, but thought-up in your head, I bet. That implies a, ah—and don't take this the wrong way, pard; it's meant as a compliment—certain sensitivity and artsiness that says you'd be good in bed. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. In fact, I gotta say my personal thought is that it's a very good thing.
You know, I love havin' my neck nibbled on. That's sweet. Yeah, right there, right over the throbbing pulse; lick it. Oh shit, damn, that's good.
Ha, nice to know I'm not the only one who's lonely. Yeah, yeah, I know there's a couple pretty little fillies here. Don't get me wrong, they're nice enough, but sometimes…yeah, pard, sometimes only a dick'll do it. I'll admit I like a set of lean muscles and long lines in my bed just as much as I like plump breasts and gentle curves. There is the risk of getting kicked outta town for tryin' to pick up a man. Easier to chase skirts. You never know what kinda man wants that and what kind don't.
Vin, ya got me half undressed here, pard. Gimme a minute. I wanna see you too. See just how far down that tan goes. Damn, you got sweet little nipples. Sensitive, too. Only took a ghost of a touch and they're both tight. You mind if I suck on 'em? I know they ain't breasts, but a man's nipples can be just as exciting.
Yeah, knew you'd like that. Keep going? Well, alright, but only 'cause you moaned it so nice-like.
Was too a moan. Prove it to ya.
Let's get them boots off, pard. Yeah, gun too. Don't worry, this here wagon is plenty big. Far enough from the house too. Nobody'll see, nobody'll hear. Not unless they come wanderin' back here, but the boys know to give you privacy. Your rep as a loner is comin' in handy, Tanner.
Now that's real, real nice. I had a feelin' you'd be that handsome golden color all over, though where you're walkin' around naked I got no idea. Have a hankering to see that sight someday, maybe. If you're feeling inclined. I like the way you look, all trim muscle, not a bit of extra girth. Like a thoroughbred, whittled down to the essence of the beast.
Larabee don't know what he's missin'.
Okay, relax, I'll get naked too. Jeez, Junior, ain't no rush. Not like Chris is gonna come lookin' for either one of us. He's pissed off at you an' me both.
It's been awhile, okay? I'm feelin' randy and all this extra attention yer givin' me is like to make me burst. Dammit, Bucklin, stop pettin' my cock and get yer pants off. Yeah, that's it. Hoo-wee, didn't know you had a third leg, partner.
Just gonna…touch it a little, find out what ya like. Guess I'm kind of a sucker fer a big'un.
Don't make that Texas joke, Bucklin.
'Cause it's bad, that's why.
Do it. Yeah. Like that. A little harder on the way up. Mm.
Holy shit, Buck! Oh god, yeah, use yer mouth. That's so…so… Damn. You could suck the white off rice. Keep goin'.
…Wait, stop. Stop. Not yet. I don't wanna come yet. Not like this. I wanna fuck ya, Bucklin. Wanna slick your ass up and shove my prick in ya; thrust 'til I come inside o' ya. Think I could do that? Would ya like that?
…Ez was right, you are a sybarite.
I know, I had to get him ta explain it ta me too. Trust me, it's a good word fer ya. Uh-uh, ask Ezra what it means. Not now, ya idjit. Later. After.
Nah, in this case it's a good thing. Definitely a good thing.
Hands and knees is good. Y'know, humans're the only animals that breed facin' each other? Heard that somewhere, can't 'member where exactly. Me, I kinda like it this way. Got more leverage fer better poundin'. 'Course that means you gotta give up the kissin', but that's the way of things. Always a trade-off.
Well, I weren't thinkin' 'bout Chris 'til you brought 'im up 'gain. I'm fuckin' you, not him, ain't no way to mix that up. Look, he may be the reason we's both here doin' this, but I don't want 'im hoverin' between us like some kinda ghost. I don't wanna think about 'im no more. He writes me off, I do the same. It's how I am. Kept me alive so far, don't see no reason ta change now.
Yeah, love's a bitch. Still, I ain't much in the mood ta cry 'bout it.
How 'bout instead'a talkin' 'bout him, I get my gun oil 'n we see if I can't make ya forget too? Don't worry, I done this a'fore. Just one ta start. Heh, too easy, Bucklin. Yer gonna be beggin' by the time I get ta two. Damn, can't wait 'til I'm buried in ya. Yer tight, but ya seem ta like my fingers slidin' in 'n outta ya.
Settle down, Buck. Don't rush me. 'Member, we ain't in no hurry.
…Yeah, okay, I'm smirkin' a little bit. Sure changed yer tune mighty quick, is all.
You got a nice butt. I'm jus' sayin'. Kinda makes me wanna…sink my teeth in…
Heh, was that a yelp, Bucklin? Aw, com'on, couldn'ta hurt that bad. Here, I'll kiss it 'n make it feel all better. Thought you'd like that.
Mm, 'kay, just gonna slick myself up here. Yer 'bout as ready as I can make ya. Here we go, nice 'n steady. Don't fight it, just kinda lean back into it. Been awhile fer ya too, huh? Whew! Finally. No, that was just the tip. Ain't my fault ya got such a tight ass, Bucklin.
Just lemme…whoa! A little impatient, are ya? Show you who's fuckin' who here.
Oh yeah, just like that. Damn. So deep. Full. Good.
Unh. I almost forgot how good this feels. Love it, god yeah, I love it. The little burning stretch, the slick back and forth. I know it's only a couple inches, but fuck, it feels like so much longer. Feels like each thrust stretches into infinity 'til I'm holdin' my breath 'tween one move and the next.
Oh god. Oh yeah. Oh god…ohgodohgod. Right there. Yes.
Ugh. Vin, Jesus H….fuck, oh fuck. So good.
Yeah, pound my ass. Just like that. I can…mm, can take it.
Wow, s'like…stars bein' born and dyin' right inside o' me.
Yeah, yeah. C'mon, pard. Give it to me. Harder, faster.
Vin, oh, Vin. Perfect. God, please.
Oh, mm. Just grip it nice 'n firm. Mm-hm, I'mma fuck your fist. Uh, that feels amazin'.
Shit, I'm almost…unh. Are you-?
So close. Guh. So close. Just a little…little more.
…That's it, yeah, come inside o' me. Lose it. Love that I made ya lose control like that, pard. No, wait. Wait to pull out. Want ya in me for as long as I can have it. Wanna savor the feeling.
I think I like your arms around me like this, Vin. Feels real good. Especially now. You're all warm 'n sweaty and sweet. Hm, your lips taste salty. No, it ain't bad. Tastes like well-deserved, post-orgasmic sweat. Ha, I don't mind it. Means we did somethin' right.
Your breath's ticklin' my neck.
Aw, Vin, now don't go doin' that. Shit, c'mere. I know it hurts, believe you me. I done waited a long time for Chris to open up his eyes and see what's goin' on right in front o' him. But Larabee, well, he's a stubborn man and sometimes the only way to get through to him is ta hit him over the head with the truth. He ain't stupid, but like any man will do, occasionally he only sees what he wants to. Lemme dry those tears.
Ain't nothin' to be embarrassed about, pard. You keep everythin' locked down so tight, I ain't surprised when ya explode. Heh, explode. Oomph! Ain't nice to elbow a man who just let you stick your poker up his hole.
Well, pard, for what it's worth, kinda wish I'd lost out to you, not this here Ella Gaines. Yeah, somethin' about her. I don't trust her either. Figure I'll stick around for awhile, clean this mess up when it all blows up in our faces. 'S what I do. Can't love him no other way, might as well do it in this one. I guess I've just learned to live with it. Helps when you have a warm body to sink into, sweet little filly to kiss 'n touch. Some place to put all the love, like you said. Gotta get it out before it swallows you up.
Or a stallion?
Wouldn't mind if we did this 'gain, Bucklin. It was…nice. Mighty nice.
Next time, think I'd like to suck ya, see how much I can take. Don't know if'n I can take it all, but sure'd be fun ta try.
Larabee's a stupid bastard, not seein' what's right under his nose like this. Not seein' that we's got feelin's fer him. Especially you. Two o' ya been friends a long time. Should'a noticed by now. He don't think we stick 'round for his drunk rages 'n great talks, do he? Heh.
Well, better get dressed a'fore somebody notices we both vanished. You gonna keep an eye on things here?
Good. Nah, I'ma ride off, take the wagon 'n circle back 'round. Should give us a'edge when shit starts flyin'.
Thanks, Buck. Really. Thank ya.
…I like the way ya kiss too. Reminds me of a lazy summer day spent by the water, nothin' much ta do 'cept fish 'n swim 'n soak up the sun.
Ya start that up 'gain 'n I'ma have a hard—that ain't funny, Bucklin—time gettin' ta where I gotta go. If yer good, maybe next time I'll let ya fuck me with that damn loaded weapon ya got in yer pants. Pft. Figures that'd get ya movin'.
As the full moon light begins to wane and dawn starts to light the sky, a man creeps from the back of a wagon parked on the lawn. The nearby house on the property where it sits is silent, even the most ambitious of the revelers having retired to their beds. In the pre-dawn light where the world exists in shadows and shades of gray, he darts across the lawn and slips silently into the neglected shack where Ella Gaines has relegated the rest of the Seven in an effort to distance them from a certain black-clad gunslinger in more ways than one.
Except Buck is fiercely loyal and won't be deterred, not even by this. He's been through worse. So if what it takes to stick around is to pretend that he's not paying attention, then by god, that's what he'll do. Chris needs someone to watch his back. He likes to pretend he doesn't, but Buck knows he'd be dead a few times over if it hadn't been for his faithful companionship.
The wagon flaps stir again and another man slips out into the weak light. He stretches, fully dressed with his hat perched on his head, and ties down the wagon so none of his possessions escape. With a loose-limbed saunter not unlike Buck Wilmington's, Vin sidles up to the front of the wagon and then toward the corral to begin hitching up the horses. Best to move now before people begin waking. That way no one is any wiser to his position.
He completes his task silently. Vin and silence share a steady friendship. Not like the one he shares with Chris Larabee, who's about as steady as a twister.
If Chris only knew that he had such men, such friends who loved him so. If feelings could actually be shared instead of simply spoken of, then maybe he might have an inkling of what these two men do for him, the depth and breadth of their devotion. But they can't and he doesn't, so they will continue to love him the best way they know how.