Less Than Perfect

A Todd & Viola songfic

A/N: WARNING WARNING WARNING

THE FOLLOWING FANFICTION CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM ALL THREE BOOKS IN THE CHAOS WALKING TRILOGY.

SPOILER ALERT

Right, now that's over, on with the story! The song is P!nk's 'Perfect', before anyone comments on there being no swearing, I am not a great fan of it and so am using the censored/radio version of the song. Though I am a mild swearer (bad B-C) so I think I do say 'bloody' once or twice in it, just to uphold the moderate swearing through the books. Told from Viola's POV. Oh, and also I missed out a bit of the bridge because it didn't really fit, so if you're wondering where that went, that's where.

Oh, I don't own anything. Unfortunately. OK, definitely starting now.

Made a wrong turn

Once or twice

Dug my way out

Blood and fire

I can still remember his- and for that matter, my- first killing. Mayor Prentiss and the other men of Old Prentiss wouldn't count killing a Spackle as killing. But we'd seen the Spackle more than they ever could.

The Spackle care about the same things we do- family, their 'one in particular' as they call it, their home, their life, their safety… and just because they look slightly different, they were disposable, a pest to get rid of.

I'd seen him fall into a hole they'd dug for him. He hadn't meant to kill the first Spackle he'd ever seen, he hadn't meant to save Mayor Prentiss and not Simone, he hadn't meant to let Aaron kill Manchee or let Cillian die for him.

But it had happened, and neither of us could change it. We'd felt blood on our hands and heard gunfire. But it was all behind us now.

Bad decisions

That's alright

Welcome to my silly life

I'd made bad decisions, too. I'd trusted Mistress Coyle, I'd trusted Mayor Prentiss, I thought Sergeant Hammar would be punished for killing Maddy…. It didn't matter anymore. My trusting had got us here. It got us away.

I still mourn all those deaths, the people I loved, but I know that it all happened for a reason, so I have to let it be.

Mistreated

Misplaced

Misunderstood

Miss knowing it's all good

It didn't slow me down

No-one treated us right. There's no use blaming him or me when we weren't given a chance. The first girl in Prentisstown- Aaron wanted Todd, and I was with him. Todd wasn't listened to in Farbranch- they just heard 'Prentisstown', instead of him. Always instead…

And we weren't even meant to be here. When Ben and Cillian told him to run away, they hadn't meant into a war zone. And I was a scout with my parents- someone peaceful, looking for the hope of more life, not the destruction of the one already there.

But we were still here today, and I never listened to them. They didn't know who we were. There was no point in listening.

Mistaken

Always second guessing

Underestimating

Look I'm still around

I hadn't really taken in what Mistress Coyle was capable of, or how far Mayor Prentiss would go in retaliation. But although both of them had tried to kill us many times, we were still here. They weren't. We had survived it all.

Pretty pretty please

Don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than

Less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing

You are perfect to me

None of the things he'd done ever made a difference. I could see in his eyes, hear in his Voice, how he thought that he was no good. He 'let' them Ask me, he 'let' Mayor Prentiss kill Davy, but he was still perfect, despite all that. Changing who he is won't ever help him, and I'm going to do all I can to keep him where he is.

You're so mean when you talk

About yourself

You were wrong

Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead

I could hear him cursing about himself in his Noise, about how he let everyone else down, how he'd always let them down. And I want to tell him that it's them who have been the letdown, not him, but I don't. Because I know he won't listen to me, and I've told him time and time again, it wasn't him that did anything wrong. After all, trying to protect the people you love isn't weakness or failure- it's bloody strength.

So complicated

Look how we all made it

Filled with so much hatred

I still blame the Mayor and Mistress. They bred the hatred in us. It was their war that they dragged us into. It was just one town, but they created a war that seemed to span over two different landmasses. I still have trouble processing how far it went, and then the Spackle joined in, from their camp just beyond the falls.

Such a tired game

It's enough

I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons

I've seen you do the same

And yet, despite all that hatred that they tried to install into us, we chased it away. All that hate and rage and fire, the small little voice wanting the blood and death and chaos, under all of it was who we were, truly. Viola Eade and Todd Hewitt. I was still a scared little girl, wanting to see my parents once more, and he was an innocent boy thrown into the deep end. But we still beat them.

Pretty pretty please

Don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than

Less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing

You are perfect to me

None of the things he'd done ever made a difference. I could see in his eyes, hear in his Voice, how he thought that he was no good. He 'let' them Ask me, he 'let' Mayor Prentiss kill Davy, but he was still perfect, despite all that. Changing who he is won't ever help him, and I'm going to do all I can to keep him where he is.

The whole world's scared

So I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking

Is an ice cold beer

It wasn't just us that were suffering. The entire of Haven had felt their war some way or another, and Farbranch had too, when his army was marching through. It was all I could do during those months fighting both of them, all I could do to think that it wasn't just Todd and me, others had suffered too.

So cool in line

And we try try try

But we try too hard

And it's a waste of my time

We had tried to stop them, we had tried to call off the war as much as possible, but it had been for nothing. All our efforts, all our defiance had been for nothing- because no-one could ever call them off. Their deaths were the only things that stopped it. I could see that now. They were the only bloodthirsty people on this whole bloody world.

Pretty pretty please

Don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than

Less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing

You are perfect to me

You're perfect

You're perfect

Pretty, pretty please don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than

Less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing

You are perfect

To me.

None of the things he'd done ever made a difference. I could see in his eyes, hear in his Voice, how he thought that he was no good. He 'let' them Ask me, he 'let' Mayor Prentiss kill Davy, but he was still perfect, despite all that. Changing who he is won't ever help him, and I'm going to do all I can to keep him where he is.

No matter what he did, no matter what happened next, we'd always carry on, and I'd always stick by him, because he was the only one I'd ever think of being with.

Because he was no less than perfect.