Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Shameless!
I'm on what must be my tenth cigarette. I've been chain smoking for the past hour and a half. Even the freezing cold isn't enough to penetrate the daze I seem to be in. I couldn't get my mind off of my mother and her new girlfriend showing up out of the blue. I couldn't believe she could just waltz back in acting as if she had done no wrong. Trying to pretend she hadn't abandoned her family with a drunk.
To top it off, she wanted to take away Liam. She didn't care about him when she walked out on us, but now that she found herself a sugar mama, she thought herself to be fucking mother of the year. It's like she hadn't fucked the rest of us up enough she had to move on to Liam. See what damage she could do before she got bored and moved on to another family with new kids she could screw up.
I went to take another puff off of my cigarette only to realize it was finished. I swore under my breath and went to reach in to my pack for another one. Only I came to see my pack was empty. "Damn it!"
"Need a smoke?" I looked up to see Mandy Milkivich holding out a pack of Camel Lites to me. "Go ahead a take a few if you need them. I have another pack at home. I'll share one with you right now if you want."
I nodded thanks as I took one and lit it. I let the smoke fill my lungs before handing it to her. "So why are you really here Mandy? If you're looking for Ian he isn't here. I think he went to work after Monica showed up."
Mandy set next to me on the steps of the house. She handed the cigarette back to me. "I heard about that. Ian came by my house pretty upset. He didn't make a lot of sense, but I did get the picture. I wanted to see how you were holding up."
I raised my eyebrow at her. "Since when do you give fuck about me? I thought you only had eyes for Ian?"
"Who said I cared? I just like knowing someone else has a family more fucked up than mine. Besides, I gave you free cigarettes so you owe me. And it may feel good to get things off your chest. It's not like I have anything better to do." She said taking the Camel from between my lips.
I weighed the thought in my head for a minute. What could it hurt to open up to Mandy? I didn't have anyone else I could really talk to about how I felt about Monica. Carl and Debbie were to young. Fiona did not like talking about her if she could avoid it. Ian opened up to me about his life and not the other way around. I never talked to Frank about anything. So I did not really have anybody. Karen would rather talk about her life than take five minutes to ask about mine.
Maybe Mandy could be someone I could talk to? It would only be this once. No harm could come from that right? I knew she could possibly understand because her family was just as royally fucked up as mine. Maybe even more so if I was lucky. It would be nice to know my family isn't the one that's not the picture perfect story. I decided that yes, I would open up to Mandy Milkovich.
"Monica wants to take back Liam. She shows up out of the blue after being gone for two years." I shook my head and finished of the cigarette before stomping the butt out with the heel of my shoe.
I didn't have a chance to ask for another considering she already had one lit by the time I looked up again. She handed it to me and I grinned her. Good to know she was on the same page as me. It's nice to have someone know when you need something without having to tell them. Maybe Mandy had more depth to her than I first imagined. After all, she had helped Ian with his situation so she wasn't a cold hearted bitch.
"So she comes back with her new sugar mama and she thinks everything is fucking fine and dandy. Monica wants to pretend that she didn't run away from her responsibilities. Wants to pretend she didn't leave six kids behind. She likes to think she can pick up where she left off. She can't do that though. So many things have changed. We have all grown older and are not the same children she left behind." I paused to take a shaky breath. I ran my fingers in my hair to try and calm down.
"Sounds to me like you never really dealt with her leaving in the first place." Mandy stated and passed the smoke to me again before she continued speaking. I had turned to look at her by this point. I wanted to see what she thought about all of this. "Sure your family had to move on and everything without her, but did you ever give up hope that she might come back one of these days?"
Had I ever really given Monica a proper goodbye? Did I hold on to the lingering hope that one day she may return and step up to be the mother she should have been in the first place? No, Mandy couldn't be right could she? I mean Monica abandoned us, not the other way around. She left us with Frank who she claimed drove her away. If she loved us then why did she not take us with her? She couldn't be stupid enough to believe that he would be a good parent?
"Why would I hold out hope for a woman who would leave her children to fend for themselves?" I asked while shaking my head. "She walked away without glancing back. I say good riddance to bad garbage. Mandy, she left us with Frank. She claims that he mentally and physically abused her. If she gave two cents about us, she would have taken us to an orphanage or something. Not leave with a man she deemed to be unstable."
I got up and started pacing. Now that I had started, I could not seem to stop. I needed to get this off of my chest. "Do you know that Debbie cried for month's? She never understood why her mommy would go away without us. She thought she had done something wrong. Carl just turned angry. He started doing things to get attention. I think he did it as a way to try and get her to come home.
Fiona dropped out of school in order to work odd jobs so she could support us. She gave up her life to ensure we each had good ones. She never once complained about it either. Instead of school and parties, she had diaper duty and bills to pay. Ian just grew really quiet. He wouldn't say much of anything for a long time.
Liam was only a baby and so he didn't really notice a difference. To him Fiona has always been his mother. That is why I am so against Monica taking him. He doesn't even know her! Fiona, Ian, Debbie, Carl, and I are the only family he knows. He loves and trusts us. Why rip him away from a happy home?" I paused again to take a few deep breaths. I could feel myself getting angry and I did not want to snap. Monica should be around when that happened.
My brother's pretend girlfriend bit her bottom lip. "You know during that whole speech you never once said how her leaving affected you. You only mentioned how it effected everyone else. Why don't you tell me how it made you feel Lip?"
"What's there to tell? She was never mother of the year." I sat back down next to her. I handed the half done smoke to her and pulled out a full one for myself. If I was going to open up then I would need a full one I didn't have to share. "She was the female version of Frank. Always drinking or high on one thing or another. It was better that she left in my opinion. Sure I missed her because lets face the facts, she is my biological mother. Yet, I hate her so fucking much.
I hate how she could just up and leave. I hate how never once did she call or write. I hate her for leaving us with Frank. I hate her for coming back. Most of all, I hate her for trying to act like everything is ok. It's not and never will be ok. We can't go back in time to before she left. She can't erase the damage she has done. She needs to face the fucking music and take the shit she deserves. She needs to stop playing the victim. We are the victims. We are the ones she left behind. She couldn't be a mother back then, so what makes her think she can be one now?" I finished my rant and put my head in my hands.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when Mandy put her hand on my shoulder. "I am going to go Jerry Springer on you and give you some advice I think you should take. I think that you need to tell all of this to Monica. Tell her how you feel. Maybe it's what you need to in order to move past your anger and resentment towards her. But what do I know right?"
When she stood up to leave I called her name. "Mandy, thank you for taking the time to listen and lending and ear. It did feel good to get that all off of my chest. I think I am going to take your advice and talk to her. And thanks for the smokes."
Mandy smiled as she started walking backwards. "Don't worry about it Lip. Any time that you need someone to talk to, just come and find me. We can hang out and maybe share a few cigs together." She turned to leave, but then whipped around once more. "And for the record, I think Monica is a dumb bitch for leaving you all behind. I hope you give her hell."
I watched as she walked away. Once she disapeared around the corner, I stood up and headed inside. I would talk to Monica and tell her exactly how I felt. I wouldn't let her play the victim anymore. Mandy had helped me see that I never had gotten over the fact she had left. It was about time she learned the damage she had done. If she thought Fiona going off on her had been bad, just wait until she got to hear what I had to say.
AN: So I wanted to do a friendship one-shot between Mandy and Lip. I was watching the episode with Monica and I thought this would work. It kinda just popped into my head and demanded to be written. So I hope you all liked it. I thought Lip needed to talk to someone about how he felt. Let me know how you felt about this one-shot
Please R&R like always!