The Philosophy of Love

Bearit's Notes: This is my first try at a FAKE fanfic and certainly not my last. This isn't my best fic (nor is it one of my better fics), but, well, you know. Such is the life when you try a fanfic from a different fandom than the one you're used to for the first time. This takes place near the end of the first act. I'd say spoilers, but I assume we've all read the first act, no? I'd also say shounen-ai warning, but, um, this is FAKE we're talking about...

Disclaimer: FAKE and its characters (that includes Dee and Ryo) are not mine. They belong all to Sanami Matoh. I want my own Dee. Is there such a thing as a Dee plushie?

I have never believed in love at first sight.

I almost fooled myself in thinking that I really had fallen in love with him when we first set eyes on one another, but that would be an outrageous lie. It wasn't until after our walk in the hall of the station did I realize how, for a lack of better words, beautiful he is, and I figured that maybe having him as a partner wouldn't be so bad after all.

It wasn't.

It isn't.

Having a partner was one of the things I never really wanted when I came to work as a police officer. I never expected to have one. When the chief told me that Ryo had to work with me, I hoped that it was only for this case so that he could get a better grasp on how things are handled in our precinct. After the events of tonight, however, I know--I'm getting a very distinct feeling--that we will be partners indefinitely.

And I have no problem with that.

But love?

That was the last thing that was on my mind up until now.

I made slips here and there. Accidental, of course, and I surprised myself every time I implied something to Ryo. He'd give me a strange look, and I'd immediately feel stupid and tell him to forget it. I'm not sure if he's ever really been bothered by it, but I have. I couldn't understand why I felt the way I did whenever Ryo was concerned or why I kept making the comments and questions I had.

Bikky, however, seemed to have known from the start, calling me "gay guy" and everything.

I hate him. I sincerely do.

Or maybe I should respect him at some level for knowing something that I, a grown man, didn't.

I think I'll hate him. Just for now, at least. I hate being outsmarted by a kid.

Well, I hate being outsmarted in general, but by a twelve-year-old kid, now, that's an insult. How did he know things that I didn't? And how in the name of God did he know that I was, well, not exactly straight by only knowing me for ten minutes?

And I'm getting off track. That's not good.


I don't know what it is that attracts me to Ryo. We have only known each other for a little over twenty-four hours now, and I know nothing about his family (okay, okay, that's a lie--I know both his parents are dead, but that's it) or his life while he grow up, why he wanted to become a cop. I don't know much about his personality, either. And I don't fall for someone just because they look pretty! Because if I did, I'd have a girlfriend right now. Or a boyfriend. Whichever. Probably someone from the precinct or someone off the street. Who knows?

But that's not the point.

I'm not one for sappy romances or anything, and I don't care if I'm stealing this from some romantic movie I was forced to watch on one of my dates once (part of the reason I went bi; I got sick of girls taking me to movies that were just plain boring), but when I'm with Ryo, I feel like I don't need to be anywhere else. Except when our lives are in danger...

... but... that's... getting... off... the subject... again.

I feel like I can tell him anything I need to tell him, or even just plain want to tell him, and it would be all right, no matter what he did with the information. Sell it to the tabloids (I know he wouldn't do that, but still...), spread the rumor all across New York City (okay, he wouldn't do that, either), or tease me for it (that he might do...). I wouldn't mind, nor would I regret it. He's just that type of person, I suppose.

And I've only known him for how long, again?

I don't believe in love at first sight, but...

Okay, what I do know about Ryo's personality is simple, more than enough for anyone in their right minds to love with him. He can cook really good food and his apartment is pretty well kept. He can take care of himself. He must have done something with Bikky to get him to like him, so he's great with kids. He's not the most intelligent of men (he set a bomb in the house for crying out loud, but it did turn out pretty okay in the end, I guess), but he's not stupid, either. He cares. My arm's broken, and he concerned himself with it right away. When Bikky and I were taken away, he somehow knew where to find us. And he really does seem to care a lot for the brat, too.

With all of this, I guess it's a no wonder why I'm falling in love with him.

It's not love at first sight.

The police cars are starting to drive off. I tell Ryo to just go to the chief. It'll be all right, since this is his first case. He doesn't know any better. Such is the life of the rookies. Not that I want to be one again. I like being an expert, thanks.

Ryo doesn't look like he's willing to go. "It's all right. It doesn't matter, anyway."

"It's not okay," I tell him. He glares at me, seeming even more insistent to get me to the hospital.

"Yes, it is," he says. Before I can turn this into a childish argument, he gives me a smile that made my heart skip a beat. "We're partners, aren't we? Come on--" He sticks his hand out to me. "--I'll help you up."

It wasn't an invitation, but I interpret is as such. I let my emotions get the better of me and, before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed his arm, pulled him down...

... and kissed him.

I can't remember the last time I did that, but it feels right, so I don't let go. Not for a while, at least. He's not returning the kiss or anything, but he's not pulling away. A surge of hope runs through me as I finally let go. He's looking at me with wide eyes, but I can't read what it's saying.

I don't think he's ever been kissed by a guy before.

That's quite all right. I'm the first. That makes me feel good.

He's still looking at me that way. I feel uncomfortable, so I just wave it off. It was only a kiss after all.

I pat his back. "Thanks for looking after me, partner," I say quietly. I stand up and shake off all emotions from my head. I raise my good hand in the air and beckon him to follow me. "Right! Hospital, let's go!"

I think he's still there, in that position, not knowing what to do. It would have been funny if it wasn't me who kissed him, but do I want humor? I don't think I'd even be laughing if it was anyone else who kissed him. Okay, fine. I'm in love with him. I have an excuse to get jealous if someone else took an interest in him.

Hey, I saw him first.

I'm not going to give up on him yet.

I don't believe in love at first sight, and I never will. But for Ryo, this comes pretty damn close.

And it's worth it.