Title: So This Isn't an April Fool's Day Joke?
Summary: Nyota's reaction to receiving an invitation to her ex boyfriend's engagement party on April 1. Did she mention that her ex is supposedly engaged to her captain? This must be a joke.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. I'm just the latest person to reinterpret the material. Unfortunately, I'm not being paid to do it.
Thank you to Teddy Bear for reviewing this. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.
Subject: Engagement Party for Captain Kirk and Commander Spock
Time Send: 4/1/2261 18:31:21
You are cordially invited to the Engagement party of Commander Spock and Captain Kirk.
When: April 4 at 1900 hours
Where: REC room three
Alcohol: Yes, there will be alcohol served courtesy of Engineering, but don't tell Starfleet that. If you're technically on duty, don't even think about it. If you are on duty the next morning, don't overdo it. Dr. McCoy has already refused to give out hangover cures to 'overindulged idiots who can't hold their liquor'.
Contact Ensign Chekhov if you want to help with decorations.
Contact lieutenant Sulu if you want to help with food.
In accordance with Starfleet regulation 3.5.67d regarding giving gifts to a superior officer, if you would like to make a contribution of 10 credits or fewer to the engagement present fund, please see me or Dr. McCoy.
The first time she read the message, she thought it was an April fool's day joke. It just seemed like something Jim would do to build up crew morale. April was a really bad month in general for most of the crew due to the anniversary of the battle of Vulcan which happened three years ago this month. Forcing his new Yeoman Michael to send out a ship wide e-mail about a phony engagement party just to break the tension seemed like a Jim Kirk type of thing. It was a unique out of the box solution that screamed Jim Kirk. After the last few crazy missions involving first contacts that went to hell and spores that made everybody break out into song, they really did need an excuse to unwind. A party would be good.
Obviously, it had to be a joke because there was no way in hell her ex boyfriend was getting married. More importantly, there was no way her ex boyfriend was marrying Jim Kirk even if she knew that the two were very close. It was a brotherly type of closeness so therefore marriage was not an option. So she may have seen a few Vulcan style kisses between the two, but that didn't mean anything. Okay so it was more than a few, but it didn't count.
However, the number one reason she was sure this was a manifestation of Jim Kirk's twisted sense of humor was that Spock would not get engaged without him telling her first. There is no way he would allow her to find out about his impending marriage via an invitation to his engagement party no matter who the fiancée was.
She would not be upset if Spock did get married. They haven't been together for a while so she had no justifiable reason to be upset. She knew that unlike her he wanted to get married someday. When they were together, he told her that bonding/marriage was a biological necessity for Vulcans without elaborating on it any further. Nyota knew this day was coming eventually but she was sure this wasn't it.
After they broke up a year and a half ago because their relationship just wasn't going in a white picket fence direction they stayed friends. They were not the best of friends but they still talked a couple of times a week outside of duty and hung out on occasion. They hung out as much as Vulcans do anyway. It was easier to get Spock to do something non-work related after they broke up, actually. She was close enough to Spock to know if he had a new significant other.
Yes, he mentioned Jim's name every other moment when they occasionally had lunch together but he never said he and the captain were together romantically. Also, Spock had a tendency to practically live in sick bay every time Jim got hurt but that was just a sign of how close their friendship was. If it was more than that, Spock would have told her. Therefore, because she knew nothing about a possible relationship, this had to be a joke.
This led to the following instant message exchange with her captain that she sincerely wishes she never had, because denial is a wonderful state to live in:
UhuraNA:Very funny. I thought you would be able to come up with a better excuse for a party to get everyone's mind off what happened three years ago this month.Next year, come up with an April fool's day prank that isn't so obvious.
KirkJT: What April fool's day joke? You know I banned all practical jokes on the ship after the incident last year with Chekhov having green hair for most of April and some idiot reconfiguring the food replicators to add chocolate to every single vegetarian dish on the menu. Remember drunk Spock and the two crew members who ended up in sick bay due to a severe allergic reaction to chocolate. Come to think Of it, that last joke wasn't entirely horrible. Drunk Spock was fascinating and it was nice not being the person being treated for anaphylactic shock.
She remembered those two jokes from last year. Chekhov almost killed Sulu for that little stunt. Also, the negotiations that they were participating in at the time almost completely fell apart because the other party thought Chekhov was possessed by angry spirits due to his hair color. A member of her team was one of the two individuals that ended up in sickbay due to the severe reaction to chocolate and was off duty for four days to recover from nearly dying. Spock was completely sloshed before they figured out his favorite curry dish contain high levels of cacao. She remembered that the only person who could get him to go back to his quarters to sleep it off was Jim. Then again, maybe that happened because she was preoccupied making sure her best communications officer didn't die because of a practical joke.
Uhurana:I'm talking about the joke where you had Janice's very green replacement send out a ship wide invitation to a party to celebrate your engagement to Spock.There is no way you and Spock are getting married. It's obviously a joke.
KirkJT: Oh fuck, he didn't tell you. I'm gonna kill him. Then I'm going to kill Michael for sending out that invitation to the entire ship without asking me if I even wanted an engagement party. I'm miss Janice. She was the best. She never did stupid shit like this.
UhuraNA:I miss her too, but you were the one who promoted her. I assume the person you want to kill first is Spock.What did he not tell me?
There was a 15-minute gap before Jim replied.
KirkJT: Spock and I are really getting married. It was not a joke.
The above message was all she was able to get out. Okay so she dropped her PADD when she read Jim's last message. However, that was not an indication that she was still in love with her ex boyfriend a teeny tiny bit. She was 100% over Spock. She really was 100% over her ex boyfriend who she dated for two years. It was more pure shock at the fact that he was marrying Jim Kirk. Part of her was still hoping this was the mother of all April fool's day jokes. There had to be some rational explanation for this.
KirkJT: We've been together for a while, but we didn't say anything until our relationship was officially sanctioned by the bureaucrats on earth. Spock told me he was going to tell you before we told anybody else. I did not even tell Michael. He must have read the e-mail from the Admiralty. He probably believed throwing an engagement party would get him bonus points come evaluation time. He is so fired.
UhuraNA:You and Spock are really getting married? You don't do marriage or dating. I know Vulcans don't care about the gender of their partners but I've never seen you with anyone who did not have genitalia that resembled a human Vagina or breasts. Then again, I have always said that you will sleep with anyone. You are both federation citizens, so this is not a green card thing. You're not pregnant?
She added that last part to the message as a joke but then again this is Enterprise. Nothing is outside the realm of possible when Jim Kirk is involved. Of course, she forgot that some male Vulcans could get pregnant.
KirkJT: We're getting married because we love each other and I can't see my life without him. No dead rabbits are responsible for this marriage. I'm not even sure Spock is one of those Vulcans that can get pregnant. I guess I really should ask. There's way too much stuff about Vulcan biology I don't know yet and I don't want another surprise like last time. Technically by Vulcan standards we are already bonded thanks to an 'undisclosed medical situation' that happened a few months ago after the fungus induced sing-along. I don't count the marriage if you have to do it for medical reasons. That's why we're doing it the human way now complete with engagement rings and me getting down on one knee.
UhuraNA:Your last statement confuses me, but Spock did tell me that there was a biological imperative that required Vulcans to find a bond mate eventually. It was a contributing factor to our break up. I didn't want to marry him just because I had to but you did.
KirkJT: That wasn't the only reason why, it just moved up the timetable. It was going to happen anyway. I'm really sorry you found out about it like this. Last year at this time, I found out my ex girlfriend, who I propose to myself years ago, was marrying a former friend of mine when I saw the engagement announcement on the net. It was not fun.
I haven't had time to read through all my messages yet. I didn't know anything about the party until you told me. This is funny because they usually have to ask my permission for that sort of thing.
UhuraNA: Michael probably went over your head.
Also, you probably were not friends with your ex. This is not the same thing, Spock didn't tell me that you guys were even dating, let alone in the type of relationship where engagement was possible. I knew you two were close but not that close.
You had an ex girlfriend that you almost married?
So that last message was slightly rambling but whatever.
KirkJT: Of course, I was not friends with Carol. She was a bitch. She laughed in my face when I propose to her. Why is everybody so surprise when they find out about that?
UhuraNA: Sorry about that. I'm just surprised because I haven't seen you with the same individual twice and I've known you for over five years. Then again, by this point I should really learn never to assume anything about you. You have always been the complete opposite of who I think you are, why should now be any different?
KirkJT: I'm going to take some of that as a compliment. I can do monogamy. I'm not a slut.
UhuraNA: I know, otherwise you and Spock would not be together. How did it happen? More importantly, why didn't he tell me?
KirkJT: What are you more mad about, Spock and me being together or not knowing about it?
She thought about the question for a moment. What was she more upset about? She wanted to say that she was not upset at all about her ex getting married but that would probably be a lie. It bothered her a little in an 'it really is completely over' sort of way. However, she's gotten used to the idea that they were friends and the fact that he didn't tell her this made her wonder if they really were. That hurt a lot more than him getting married in the first place. Then again, she really wasn't looking forward to going to a party where everybody would ask her if she was okay with it every 30 seconds.
UhuraNA: I wouldn't be human if I said I was completely 100% happy that he's getting married. However, if I still wanted to be with him, I would have put a ring on it myself. At least I can tolerate you now, so that's a point in your favor. I think I'm angrier about the fact that I found out in an e-mail.
Her answer was a lot more honest than she thought it would be.
KirkJT: Again, I'm sorry about that and I promise to yell at Spock for you. This wasn't just about you,we couldn't tell anyone. You know how Starfleet regulations are regarding 'dating' within the ranks of a command team. All the love of the bombardment Does it make you feel better to know I did not even tell Bones that we were together until the unspecified medical emergency? I have not told him about the human wedding thing yet. Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't barged into my quarters yet to see if I've completely lost my mind.
UhuraNA: Actually, it does make me feel better. You should know he's in charge of the engagement present. You were not allowed to date, but marriage is perfectly acceptable? That makes no sense.
KirkJT: The rules are ridiculous, but I guess Starfleet doesn't want to risk a good command team for a one night stand.
We're getting green socks now. Michael is so fired for that alone. He's my best friend, but Bones can't pick out a good gift if his life was dependent upon it.
She laughed that that part before typing her response.
UhuraNA: So exactly how did this happen? I think there is a better chance that you'll tell me then Spock.
KirkJT: When I walked Spock back to his quarters after last year's April fool's day spectacular, he kissed me and confessed he loved me before passing out. I completely freaked out and decided to pretend nothing happened.
Why isn't she surprised chocolate was involved for Spock to confess is love for Jim or anyone for that matter. Let's just say that was another contributing factor to the break up.
UhuraNA: So after you were a complete idiot what happened? By the way, do you know how lucky you are that he actually said the words to you?
KirkJT: Trust me, I know. It was actually my future father in law that smacked me upside the head figuratively at the second annual memorial service for the battle of Vulcan. Things got better after that.
UhuraNA: I'm laughing right now. I wish I saw that.
KirkJT: I knew you would. I should've known that something was going on when several crewmembers asked if they could have the evening of the fourth off. If one more person asks me for time off, I'm going to end up missing my own party to cover.
UhuraNA: Actually, I think it's more likely Spock would work through the party to avoid it.
KirkJT: Very likely. I should be receiving that request any moment now.
UhuraNA:I could be on duty. If I volunteered, you know who will not have an excuse to get out of the party.
She loves a good party as much as the next person but she just didn't want to be at her ex's engagement party. Too many nosy people asking stupid questions about things that don't concern them. Besides forcing Spock to go to his own party under duress would be perfect revenge for not telling her.
KirkJT: You never miss an opportunity for good cake?
UhuraNA: Nothing that comes out of a replicator is good. Besides, I'm not going to turn down an opportunity to be in charge of the bridge. It's better than dodging questions from invasive people who are expecting me to break down and cry at any moment.
KirkJT: They'll be waiting for a while. I knew you would volunteer. ;)
UhuraNA: You're evil sometimes.
KirkJT: But you like me anyway.
UhuraNA: Surprisingly enough, yes. Congratulations. If you hurt him, I will kill you.
She typed that part wholeheartedly.
KirkJT: I wouldn't expect anything less.