A/N: Written for a prompt from Joyful on the Kurt_blaine prompt post on LJ. Burt finds Blaine in Kurt's bed again. Only this time, Blaine's not fully closed, and Kurt's there too. Take it where you will... ;-)
Once I read the ending sentence I evilly tried to find...unexpected…ways to fill this. I'm not as pleased with this one as I was with the last one I posted, but I wanted to post it before my spring break officially ends tomorrow morning. Hope you enjoy!
Burt Hummel is exhausted. As he trudges up the stairs to his home he can't help but think that making the round trip to see Carole's sister in one day wasn't the wisest idea. But there you go, it's Carole's sister, and Burt doesn't even try to pretend anymore that he wouldn't do nearly anything for her, even if it means driving 3 hours one way to visit a woman that he personally believes to have drawn the short stick when it comes to brains. And beauty. And conversational skills. Actually, now that Burt thinks about it, she may have drew the short straw when it came to everything except her sister.
Burt's already aching lower back is irritated even more as he fights with the crate of craft supplies that Carole's sister sent home with her (AKA snuck into Burt's trunk when he was distracted by the apple cobbler she was admittedly sending with him-ok, maybe she had drawn a bit longer straw in the dessert department) while tripping over a few fallen branches placed precariously on the fourth step leading to his recently acquired home. It looks like a pretty harsh storm passed through when they were gone.
Burt can't help but feel a tinge of fatherly worry despite the comforting presence of Kurt's navigator in the drive; Kurt's plans for the day had included a trip to a nearby lake for a day on Blaine's father's boat. God damn kid had free reign over a boat. And not a speedboat either. Burt had seen pictures on the kids my face or whatever it's called when he forced Kurt to show him the kid's profile when they started dating 3 months ago.
After unlocking the door, regrabbing the crate, and stepping into the house, he feels he fatherly worry shift to fatherly annoyance as he trips again (Couldn't he at least be rewarded for being a good husband today?) this time over Kurt's messenger bag which seems a little screwy considering the kid is usually on the whole houses case to keep the place "free of both clutter and grime in order to promote a welcoming home environment." Burt sets the crate down and holds the door for Carole whose hands are full with her bags and the apple cobbler.
"Yessss," Burt draws out. "Let's cut that son of a gun up!"
Carole giggles at him and nudges his side with her free elbow. "Oh calm down. Kurt'll want to know that you're eating your biweekly dessert allotment. And he might actually want some himself before Finn comes home from camp tomorrow and devours it. Go grab him from upstairs and I'll start cutting it." She sets her bags down on the couch and walks forward to place her lips against Burt's. He can't fathom loving her any more than he does already.
"I may even be able to find some vanilla ice cream to top it off…" Carole whispers against his lips. And all of a sudden, he loves her even more.
"You are so amazing," he croons back.
"Right," she scoffs. "That's just the dessert talking."
"I'll pay you back later with some dessert of your own," teases Burt as slides his hands lower than he should while in the living room. Carole giggles again as she extracts herself after allowing Burt one more peck on the lips.
"Go fetch Kurt!" she hollers over her shoulder.
Burt heads up the staircase and turns into Kurt's open bedroom door and freezes. There's a boy with Kurt in his bed. A boy he's already found in Kurt's bed once and wasn't pleased with it. And that was before Kurt started dating the boy and Burt started finding them attached at the mouth on the couch in the living room of his house, which progressed to finding them attached at the mouth and hips and chests on his living room couch.
He knows his face has to look like the look on one of those detectives in horror movies who stumble upon the scene of the crime and are the first to witness the horror. There's just so much skin and for a minute it's all Burt can see until he focuses in on the fact that all the bed covers are rumpled to the point of being pushed off the end of the bed and that there are small piles of shirts and shorts a bit closer to the door. And that doesn't really do anything to help Burt calm his rapid heartbeat caused by the skin. Oh the skin.
Burt closes his eyes for a second to try and calm himself. Carole would be upset if he had another heart attack because Kurt was in bed with the boy. Kurt might not like it either but, at this point in time, Kurt was already so grounded that he wouldn't even be allowed out of the house to visit Burt in the hospital.
Burt feels himself calm down about as much as he feels is possible for the situation (the terrible situation) and convinces himself to open his eyes again and evaluate the scene. Yep. Kurt and Blaine are definitely sleeping in Kurt's bed together and they are most certainly not clothed. Well, at least they're shirtless. At second look, Burt realizes the two boys are wearing what looks like their swimming trunks, if you can call those short, tight things that Kurt wears swimming trunks. At least Blaine's are a bit more conventional and not so…form fitting.
The swimming suits help to clear Burt's mind a bit and he notices that the boys aren't even touching. They're laying side by side on the bed on their stomachs. Burt is becoming more confused by the minute because the boys seemed attached by their hands these days, if not the hip. The boys' backs seem to be an angry shade of pink and Blaine's feet and the back of his calves are a shade that would better suit Mercedes. Burt realizes that his legs are covered in mud, which really has Burt's brain hurting because he's never seen the kid look anything less than perfect.
Burt's not the most intelligent man and he honestly can't figure out what the hell has lead to the situation he is currently looking at. He throws in the towel.
"Kurt!" he hollers. Kurt jerks his head off the bed and around towards the sound of Burt's voice. Kurt lets out a bit of a painful gasp before looking at Blaine beside him and jumping off the bed.
"Dad!" he gasps out. "I'm so sorry! It's not what it looks like!"
"What the hell is going on? Why is Blaine covered in mud and in your bed half naked?" At the sound of his name Blaine rolls over onto his back and lets out what Burt thinks is a groan of pain.
"Oh Dad! We were going to shower before taking Blaine home but it was lightning so bad we didn't even want to risk it! We laid down to wait the storm out and I know we're not supposed to be in bed together but we were so tired—" Burt can tell that Kurt is in full ramble mode and interrupts him.
"—Whoa whoa whoa. Take Blaine home? Where's his car? I thought you were meeting him this morning?"
"His car's in the shop so I was just gonna take him home. You know his parents are out of town this weekend and there was no one else to take him." Kurt was still is defensive mode.
"Wait a minute. I'm not that fast on the uptake. To be honest, I'm still lost. Why is Blaine's car in the shop? And why wouldn't you just take it to the garage? We can do any work he needs."
Kurt gingerly sits on the edge of the bed and rubs at this eyes. "We don't specialize in body work."
Burt is about to ask if there was an accident and if everyone is okay, but he's interrupted by Blaine moaning and covering his own eyes.
"Ugh! My baby!" he groans out from behind his forearms.
Burt sighs. He wasn't getting anywhere. "Could you two please start from the beginning? I have no idea what is going on."
Blaine sits up gingerly and Burt sees that Blaine's chest is even more red than the two boys' backs which is truly saying something.
"Burt? Kurt? Are you two coming down—Oh. Hi Blaine. What are you doing here?" Burt watches Carole's eyes shift from Kurt to Burt and seems soothed by Burt's lack of homicidal expression.
"Well Carole, the boys were just about to tell me the story, from the beginning—"
"Oh Blaine!" Carole interrupts while rushing over to the bed to inspect Blaine's shoulders. "How on earth did you get so badly sunburned?"
"Well, that's part of the story Mrs. Hummel. Let's start from the beginning."
"We had the worst day ever Dad. We got on the lake just fine and after we were anchored, we lounged around for a bit. Blaine took his shirt off first and put sunscreen on and laid on the roof. I stayed underneath the awning for a bit, finishing the last chapter of my book that I was reading yesterday. I joined him maybe 40 minutes later and we both laid out on our stomachs for a while until Blaine started realizing that his chest had been sunburned."
"How did you get sunburned? You're always on my case about choosing a high FPS and reapplying after I sweat or hop in the pool."
"We did apply sunscreen. Blaine brought some SPF 55 from his house."
"And that's where the first problem came from. I grabbed the sunscreen out of my sister's bathroom because I was almost out. I forgot that when she's away at school, she puts her expensive cosmetics in deceptive bottles to keep her roommate from using them. Kurt and I actually slathered on some weird expensive lotion meant to sooth razor burned girl parts. So now I'm burned to a crisp and she's already told me she's pissed at me for wasting her stuff," Blaine finished as Kurt laughs a little at the disgusted, unrefined look on Blaine's face, at least Burt assumes that's what he's laughing at because Burt finds it pretty damn hilarious.
"By the time we realize that we're frying out of the lake, we start to head back to shore which is about the only good thing that happened because if we hadn't headed in, we probably wouldn't have gotten docked before the freak storm rolled in," Kurt continues.
"You could already see the storm rolling in by the time we got to the dock. The attendants were all running around tying things up and no one was around to help. It's kind of difficult to dock my family's boat with only two people and there was so many issues."
"Yeah," Kurt interjects with a disgusted face. "Including Blaine having to jump in the lack and getting covered in mud and losing one of his flip flops."
"The dock at the lake is a bit of a hike from the parking and by the time we were half way to the cars, it was pouring and the hail was at least quarter sized. We ran as fast as we could and took shelter in Kurt's car. Kurt," Blaine said pointedly, "had happened to park under the shelter of these two giant trees on the edge of the parking lot so his car was undamaged but my Jaguar had somany dents in it…"
Burt watched Blaine trail off dejectedly. Kurt leaned across the bed and raised his hand to Blaine's shoulder in what Burt assumed was supposed to be a comforting move but just made Blaine hiss in pain.
"Sorry!" Kurt exclaimed. He moved his hand to Blaine's thigh which resulted in an internal hiss of pain on Burt's behalf. "It'll be fine Blaine. They'll be able to fix it right up." Kurt looked apologetically at his father and continued the story.
"Then we waited a bit for the hail to stop and the rain to calm down and we dealt with Blaine's freak out and then Blaine insisted we take his car to the body shop his family uses immediately," says Kurt as he looks a bit annoyed at Blaine. Burt can't help but feel his pain; if Burt had a Jag that was damaged in a hail storm, he's sure he would be bawling with his head in Carole's lap right about now.
"That's probably not such a bad idea," Burt adds in. "After all, everyone with damage will be bringing their cars in and it's best to be at the front of the list."
Kurt just rolls his eyes. "Anyway, we dropped Blaine's car off and I drove us back here because there's no way I was going to drive the hour to Blaine's house in sopping wet clothes and with Blaine's muddy legs getting my Navigator dirty. The lightning was so bad when we got here that we weren't going to try to shower so I stripped my bedding off so I wouldn't get it all disgusting and we fell asleep waiting for the storm to stop."
"Oh boys. I'm sorry your trip to the lake was ruined. Let me go grab some aloe vera. It should help you feel a bit better."
"Oh Carole. I have to shower first. Well, we both should shower. I feel disgusting from sweat and the lake and the rain."
The next think Burt knows, he standing in his kitchen with his son's shirtless ,slightly muddy, moping boyfriend, watching him eat a piece of apple cobbler with vanilla ice cream on top.
"Thanks so much for the cobbler Mr. Hummel. We haven't really ate anything since the sandwiches we had for lunch when we were anchored."
"No problem Blaine. It's the least I could do. I'm sorry about your car. Have you told your parents?"
"Yeah. I called them right after the fact. They're not too upset since it wasn't my fault. They're just worried about me not having a car to get around."
Burt can tell the kid really is starving because after he finishes his sentence, he scarfs the last giant bite into his mouth. Burt actually prefers it to the dainty bird bites that he usually has to watch when Blaine eats with them, the bites that make Burt feel clumsy and kind of low class.
Blaine raises from his seat at the table to rinse his plate and Burt can't help but realize that this kid doesn't look much like, well, a kid. Burt doesn't think he himself had chest hair at 17. Maybe he had like 3 that he counted every morning but a full chest? That's ridiculous! Burt can't help but wonder if Kurt
looks that grown up. His internal question is answered as Kurt turns the corner wearing only his pajama bottoms. Gah. His kid is practically grown.
"Hey!" Kurt exclaims walking to stand by Blaine at the sink. "The shower's yours. I put out some clean sweatpants and a towel on my bed. I think I found a pair short enough that they shouldn't be too bad. I put a t-shirt out too but you might wanna hold off until you get some aloe vera on."
Burt spends the next half hour watching Carole rub the aloe Vera onto Kurt's back and then watching Blaine come downstairs freshly showered and then watching Kurt rub the aloe vera on Blaine's back while Blaine rub the aloe vera, thankfully, on his own chest. Burt and the two boys then hope in Burt's car to run Blaine home. As Burt watches the two in his rear view mirror and sees the smile on Kurt's face, he can't help but decide that finding a boy in Kurt's bed is worth the smile on Kurt's face. As long as they always wear swim trunks. Ok. Maybe something with a bit more coverage, but still, Burt smiles too.