Title: The Luckiest Girl
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: M – For sexy times
Summary: Bella has always seen Carlisle as a brotherly figure but when Esme takes an internship abroad, Bella finds her connection with her sister's boyfriend change.
A/N- Thank you to my beta Tanya for her great work, because of her, the dates now make sense here. LOL. Thanks also to my pre readers Chartwilightmom and Zenoness who helped with my summary cause I was total fail.
Banner coming soon
Now on with the show.
September 30, 2007
I was lying on my stomach on my sister's bed. She was flipping on some edgy girl band before coming to join me.
"He is so wonderful, Bella," Esme gushed. "And a hottie."
I blushed and giggled at her description. At age fourteen I was just getting into boys and the thought of talking about one so openly made me shy. But it wasn't me talking, and if my sister was going to give me the details about her new boyfriend, then I would listen.
My sister and I were close even though we were separated by six years. She had just started her second year of college and I assumed that if things hadn't changed by now, they never would. My legs kicked back and forth as I hung on her every word.
"We met at a seminar. He is a pre-med student. A doctor, Bella! He has the blondest hair, and if I didn't know better, I'd say must be a bleach job. But he's not the type to dye his hair. He's just naturally handsome. And Bella, he has the body of an Olympic swimmer…not that I've seen it all yet, but you can tell, you know. The clothes just hang on him right, the way they were meant to."
I watched my sister's face light up as she talked and I hoped that one day I'd meet a guy who made me feel that way.
December 14, 2007
"Bella," Esme whispered.
"What?" I asked, sleepy eyed as I opened my bedroom door.
I had been fast asleep when I heard my sister knock on the door and I could feel my hair standing on end. I brushed my hand over my head, attempting to push it down, but Esme paid me no mind, barging her way into my room.
"Mom and dad said I can't go out, but Carlisle is waiting for me," she explained.
"So what do you want me to do about it?"
"I need your tree," she said, making her way over to the window.
My room faced the front yard and in it was a large oak tree that's branches reached to my window. I followed her to the glass and looked out. That was the first time I saw Carlisle. Well, really all I could see in the dark was the top of his head, so while I couldn't confirm if he was as hot as she said, I could confirm he was really blond.
"Mom and dad are going to kill you if they find out."
"They won't find out," she whined. "Please, Bella, cover for me."
"What am I supposed to say if they find you missing?"
She leaned out the window and called in a hushed voice, "I'll be right down." Then she turned to me, looking sheepish. "That's what I need you for. They won't check on you, so I need you to go sleep in my bed. Just keep your head under the covers and they'll never know."
My sister and I took after different parents; while she was fairer like our mother, my hair was dark brown, closer to my father's. If I fell asleep and flailed, my parents would know with a glance it wasn't my sister in her bed. And if I was caught in there, then I'd be implicated.
I was about to say no, but the look on Esme's face made me stop. She blinked at me earnestly, with hopeful eyes.
"Please, Bella, he's the one."
"Okay," I huffed.
"Thank you, thank you," she squealed, grabbing me and hugging me before vanishing out the window quickly.
I turned to my bed and grabbed my pillow, stuffing it under my blanket just in case, and then headed to Esme's room.
February 20, 2008
My boobs came. They finally came. Most of the girls in my class had been wearing bras for nearly two years and my chest had remained flat. And then, almost overnight, they came. My beautiful A's.
I pulled out the bra my mom had bought me and put it on, my small but visible breasts pressing the material out. I stood in front of my mirror in just my pyjama pants and a white training bra feeling like the sexiest woman alive.
A loud noise caused me to look toward the window. Nearly screaming when I saw someone sitting on the branch there, I grabbed the throw blanket off the bottom of my bed and held it over my chest. If I hadn't recognized that bright blond hair, I might have been more scared, but I was certain almost immediately that this was the man my sister had been squealing over for the last few months.
With the blanket clasped tight to my chest, I went over to the window where a still wide-eyed Carlisle sat on the other side. I slid the window open and glared at him.
"What are you doing here?"
"Sorry, I thought this was Esme's room. She always comes out of this window…" He stopped and looked scared like he might have just revealed a secret.
"I know she sneaks out my window, it's okay. Come in, I'll get her." I opened the window the full way and let him in. His long limbs looked comical as he tried to squeeze through the window.
He stood there and watched me expectantly. "Could you turn around so I can put a shirt on first?"
"Sure, sorry," he said, spinning around.
After I got my shirt on and left the room, I could feel the blush creep up over my skin. He had seen me more naked than anyone else had, save my mom and sister. It wasn't the way I wanted to meet who my sister had told me would be my future brother-in-law.
June 13, 2008
I sat and watched the TV screen. My mom had thought that having me in the room with Esme and Carlisle would keep them chaste. It didn't, all it did was make it incredibly awkward for me. I could hear my sister giggle as I forced myself to keep my eye on the screen.
It wasn't that Carlisle was unattractive; he was every bit the hottie she had claimed him to be when she met him, but he was my sister's boyfriend, and you just don't think about those kinds of things.
I felt something hit the side of my head, and my hand went up to feel, a horrified look on my face. Then I heard two voices snicker, one masculine and one feminine. I looked over at them as I plucked the piece of popcorn from my hair.
"Don't look so mortified, Bella, I'm not going to have sex with him while you're in the room," Esme chortled.
"Leave her alone, we are probably corrupting her youthful innocence just with kissing," Carlisle said.
"Not true, I've been kissed," I argued…okay, I lied, but I wasn't about to let them think I was so pure I couldn't handle a little kissing next to me.
"Oh!" squealed Esme, jumping off Carlisle's lap and onto the chair next to me. "You never told me. Who was it?"
I looked at her and then over to Carlisle, uncomfortable with the sudden attention.
"It was…uh," I started but Carlisle cut me off.
"Let her alone, Esme."
Esme looked at him and then back at me, and huffed. She let it go and went back to cuddle with him on the couch. I shot him a thankful look and he gave me a small smile in return.
September 20, 2008
My mom had given me the go ahead to date now that I was fifteen, along with the fact that my A's had graduated to B's, I thought I was in for a great year.
Carlisle and I were sitting downstairs together while he waited for Esme to get ready for their date. They had been together just shy of a year and they were the perfect couple. They did everything together and he was like part of the family. In fact, I think he spent more time at our house than his own. Even when Esme was out with friends, I could still find him hogging the TV.
"So now that the ban has been lifted, are there any guys you have your sights on?" Carlisle asked.
"Well there is one," I said, biting my lip to hide my smile. "His name is Jacob."
Jacob was the hottest guy at school. He was native or something and that made his skin this gorgeous russet color. He was popular and the captain of the basketball team. I wanted him very badly and I had no idea how to go after him.
"So are you going to ask him out?"
"No!" I replied, horrified at the thought.
"Why not? He'd be a fool to say no. Besides, most guys that age have to do all the work, I bet he'd appreciate a girl making the first move."
"You think so?" I asked, still not convinced.
"I would have went for it," he said and it made me smile.
"Maybe I will."
"Are you ready?" Esme asked, coming into the room. Carlisle stood and ruffled the top of my head before heading off with my sister, leaving me to think about asking Jacob Black out.
I stumbled off the bus, nearly taking a nose dive. "Great, just great," I huffed.
My day was about as shitty as days get, and while my mind ran over the utter crap of said day, I tripped…over a crack. My knee hit first, and because I had wanted to look as nice as I could that day, I was in a skirt. The concrete slashed my skin open and blood flowed down my leg as I hobbled the rest of the way home.
To add insult to injury, or was it injury to injury, as I pulled the front door open, I didn't step back far enough and the damn thing clocked me in the side of the head.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I growled and limped towards the kitchen.
I was passing the living room when a cough made me turn my head. Carlisle was looking at me with an amused expression on his face as he sat alone on the couch. He had his arm perched on the back as he twisted to mock me.
"Is that how all the kids are walking nowadays?"
He laughed, I scowled.
"Yes but only the really cool ones gush blood when they do it," I snapped.
He lifted up higher to look at my leg and his face went from jovial to concerned in a flash.
"Shit, what did you do, Bella?" He stood up and came over to me.
"I fell," I said, rolling my eyes, more at myself than at his question.
"Here, sit down. I'll get you something for that."
I was about to protest when he swooped down and picked me up, causing me to screech. I became very aware that my skirt had not made it under his hand and his warm digits were sitting very high on my thigh. But before I could say anything, I was put down on the couch. He lifted my leg and placed it on the coffee table, grabbing a few tissues to press against the wound.
"Here, hold this," he said and I moved my hand over the tissue. He left the room, and when he came back, he had a ridiculous amount of first aid supplies.
"I think a Band-Aid would suffice," I said, chuckling.
"Don't be difficult," he replied.
I sat with an amused face until he grabbed my leg and swung it over his lap, and then I just felt embarrassed. My family was not touchy-feely, and I wasn't used to this much physical contact. He kept his eyes tight on the cut as he dabbed it and washed it. His fingers worked softly and swiftly and I couldn't help but think that he'd be a wonderful doctor someday.
"So are you going to tell me how you fell?" he asked again.
"It's just been one of those days where nothing goes right. I think I tripped on my shadow, but don't worry, I landed on it, so we're even."
A small laugh left him and he pushed the bandage in place, causing me to hiss.
"Sorry," he said, and I shrugged it off. "So you want to talk about your bad day?"
Everything came rushing back to me and I felt my mood fall again. I looked up and saw genuine concern so I told him, and when I was finished, I saw shock in his face.
"So this Jake guy turned you down? Is he blind?"
I gave a self-depreciating laugh. "No, I'm just not pretty or blonde or anything enough for him."
"Bullshit," Carlisle replied. "If I was sixteen…Well let's just say that boy must be gay."
January 4, 2010
Mrs. Jasper Hale.
Okay, so I could have been jumping the gun, but it felt right. The new exchange student from Texas with the wavy blond hair and ice blue eyes had asked me out. He didn't wade through years of popularity, or thoughts formed by other people's opinions. He had a fresh start and his choice was me. I felt like the Queen of the world.
April 4, 2010
Two months of dating Jasper Hale and I couldn't have been happier. We had kissed and he had grabbed my boob, and at sixteen, there was nothing better. I didn't see what the big deal about sex was anyway. You could get pregnant or diseases, who wants that?
My parents were going out for the night and Jasper was coming over later, unbeknownst to them. I heard them before I saw them. At first I wasn't sure what it was, but with Esme's door open a crack, the visual hit me the same time as the sound recognition.
Esme was on her back and Carlisle was poised over her. While he covered most of her body I could see all of him, his light skin dipping and curving where his back met his ass. And his ass! Clenching and releasing as he pushed in and out of my sister. I should have looked away, but I couldn't. And since I was looking, I thought I might as well look at it all.
My eyes drifted between them and I watched as he disappeared into her. My chest flushed and I took a step back, landing directly on the only floorboard in the house that squeaked. I held my breath and waited to be busted but they didn't stop, instead Carlisle started pumping faster and Esme moaned loudly. I took that as my cue to get out of there.
That night Jasper got to third base.
September 13, 2010
"Happy birthday, Bella," Jasper said, and I smiled widely as I opened his gift.
The small box held a tiny silver chain, and on the end of it was a heart; unoriginal, but for a seventeen year-old girl, it was the most amazing thing ever.
"Thank you," I said leaning in and kissing him, my body tingling from the chaste act. "Now I want to give you a present."
Jasper looked at me, clearly confused at my words. I stood up and decided a visual would be better. I wish I could say I undressed seductively for him and he was captivated, but I was nervous, so what I did was walk over to my dresser drawer and pull out the box of condoms I had bought for the night. I looked at him and bit my lip as his eyes widened in realization.
Our first time was like most people's first time, filled with good intentions and really fast. But to me it was perfect.
January 4, 2011
Jasper Fucking Hale.
Mr. Fucking I-don't-want-to-be-tied-down-right-now Hale.
August 27, 2011
Esme came running into the house squealing. I flinched, I loved my sister but she was way too old to still be squealing.
"I got in, I got in!" she cried. I looked at her, eyebrows raised, waiting for her to elaborate. "The design school I applied to in Paris."
"Paris?" I asked. "You and Carlisle are moving to Paris?" Even though the idea was just placed in front of me, I could see a lot of advantages at having a sister to visit in France. Of course my Parisian fantasies were cut short by the look on my sister's face.
"Carlisle won't be coming," she said quietly.
"He won't move to Paris?"
"I don't want him to."
I had no idea what to say to that. They had always seemed so happy. My sister could see me floundering so she explained some more.
"I love him, it's just we are still so young and I want to experience things, life, before I settle down, you know?"
Being a girl that just wanted to experience love, no, I didn't know.
"So you're going to break up with him?" I asked.
Again, she avoided my eyes. I thought I was beyond storming out of a room in a fit, but apparently I had one left in me. I stomped up the stairs and to my room. How could she so casually throw him away? He was part of our family and now we would all lose him because Esme wanted to sow her wild oats or whatever the hell that saying was.
September 1, 2011
I sat on the step, like I was five years old again eavesdropping on my parents when I was supposed to be in bed. This time, however, I was listening to Esme and Carlisle.
"It's an amazing experience," she said unapologetically, and I couldn't see if he flinched from her tone, but I did.
"Can't it wait a year? This is a bad year to transfer, but I could go with you next year," he offered.
"They won't hold my spot, Carlisle. I have to go now. But maybe after a year we can think about you coming."
My eyes got wide and I couldn't believe that she had changed her mind. I was grinning at the thought that I wouldn't lose him in my life. I got up from the stairs and headed back up to my room, not needing to hear more.
About a half hour later, Esme crossed by my door and I called out to her.
"Yeah?" she said peeking in the door.
"So he's going to come next year?" I asked with a big smile on my face.
"Oh, Bella," she mused. "After a year he'll have gotten bored and moved on."
"So you are going to drag it out?
Esme sat down on my bed and didn't look the least bit guilty. "Well it gives me a year to decide, too, I mean what if I want him back? I decided it was best not to burn the bridge." She stood up and headed for the door. "If things were meant to be, they'll be."
As soon as she left my room, I ran downstairs, hoping I could catch Carlisle. Esme had waited until the last minute to tell him about her departure and she was leaving in the morning. He was sitting in his car when I exited the house but as I neared I realized he hadn't started the car. He just sat and stared at his steering wheel.
I knocked on his passenger car window and he looked startled as he saw me. I opened the door and sat down in the seat next to him. The grey upholstery felt soft under my legs and it was only then I realized I was in a pair of small pajama shorts.
"What are you going to do?" I asked him.
His blue eyes looked so lost as he stared over at me, his face scrunching as he thought of his answer. He huffed and shook his head.
"I guess I start working on seeing where I can get transferred to next year."
I impressed myself with keeping the doubt off my face. Maybe my sister would come to her senses and I didn't want to scare Carlisle off before then. Besides, it wasn't my job to break up with him; I wasn't the one dating him.
I looked at him and couldn't understand what my sister was thinking. Before me was a man so stunning he could put to shame underwear models, and besides the obvious of becoming a doctor, he was truly the most caring and considerate man I'd ever met.
"Does that mean you won't come around anymore?" I had a hard time holding my emotions out of this question and he spotted it immediately.
He gave me his world class smile and told me, "Bella, you won't be able to get rid of me. You guys are my family, too."
I smiled at his words and hoped that everything would work itself out. We sat there smiling at each other, and I envied my sister and hated her at the same time. She had everything and she was going to throw it away, and what for?
October 31, 2011
"So I'm having a Halloween party tonight, you should totally come," I said as I stood across from Carlisle at the local convenience store. He hadn't been by since Esme had left and I had missed him.
"I think the company might be a bit young for me," he said, smiling.
"Oh shut up, you're only twenty-four, surely you aren't that much more mature than a bunch of eighteen to twenty year-old's."
He smiled but he still looked reluctant. "I don't have a costume," he offered as an excuse.
"You have scrubs, come as a doctor," I countered, just really wanting him to come.
"That's not much of a costume, I wear that every day."
I rolled my eyes at him. "No one is going to care. Come on, pleeeaaase," I begged.
"What time?" he answered, resigned.
"Eight," I said with a wide smile on my face.
Now I've always admitted, even if it was just to myself, what a handsome man Carlisle was, but that was an understatement I didn't even realize until I saw him in his scrubs. I didn't know how I had never seen him in the blue uniform of his job, but when I did, I had some dirty thoughts. It didn't help that the sight of his naked ass was emblazoned into my brain. It's not like he was my brother, I was allowed to look, right?
He dodged most of the party guests all night, I noticed a couple of my tipsy friends trying to talk to him, and although I could see him politely escaping the situation, it still kind of made me mad. They knew he was my sister's boyfriend, Bacardi Breezers or no Bacardi Breezers, they should have known better.
"You totally have a crush on your sister's ex!" Angela squealed as she bumped me with her hip.
"I do not, and he's not her ex," I said harshly, shushing her from saying anything louder.
"You do, too; you've been watching him all night."
I looked at my friend and could see she'd had one too many drinks, but if she didn't keep her voice down, I was going to deck her. The last thing I needed was for Carlisle to think I was harboring a crush on him, then he'd never come around.
"I invited him; I just want to make sure he's having a good time."
"You invited everyone, Bella. Are you as concerned with all your guest's good times?" She giggled. "That sounded dirty."
I took a quick scan of the room and noticed that everyone seemed to be busy chatting or dancing. "Everyone else knows people here," I said, and she shrugged, walking off to refill her drink.
I shook my head; imagine me, with a crush on Carlisle. I found myself looking for him again and saw him sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. He was looking back at me, and after the conversation I had just had, I felt the heat color my cheeks. He cocked his head as he stared at me and then his mouth curled down. I went over and sat down next to him.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he replied.
"Sorry you're not having a good time."
"It's not that, it's just I'm used to having Esme around at a party, I just follow her around and she does all the work. I don't really know what to do on my own."
There was a moment of silence, I wasn't sure what to say. We hadn't heard much from Esme so I had no idea on where they stood.
"How is your transfer going?"
"Well, I've been looking into a few options, none of them great but I'll do what I have to, Esme is worth it," he replied dutifully. "What about you? Any of the boys here peak your interest?"
I laughed. "No, I'm still really careful after Jasper. I don't really want to be in that situation again," I told him.
"Bella, you're young, you're supposed to date."
"Yeah but I don't want to sleep with someone else that's just going to up and leave like that." I blushed, realizing too late what I had just admitted to. I glared at my cup and vowed to never drink again.
"You what?" he said shocked.
I tried to play it cool. "Come on, Carlisle, I'm eighteen, it's not that uncommon."
"I guess I just always saw you as a kid, but you're not a kid anymore, are you?"
I looked back over to him and was startled by his stare. He was looking at me, and for the first time, I think he actually saw me. Not as Esme's kid sister but as a woman in my own right.
That night, I had dirty, dirty dreams about Carlisle, and I didn't even feel bad about it.
December 1, 2011
My headphones were covered by my hoodie as I filled up my tank of gas. My mood was good, so when In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida came on, I started singing. With my eyes on the gas tank, I didn't notice anyone approach me until I felt the tap on my shoulder.
I squeaked mid-lyric and spun around, leaving the nozzle still attached to my car. Carlisle was standing there; his eyes filled with amusement and his lips twitching. I pushed my hoodie off my head and took out my headphones, leaving them draped around my neck.
"Hey," I said awkwardly.
I hadn't seen him since Halloween, and having him surprise me like this made my erotic dream of him come rushing back. I could feel myself blush as I waited for him to answer.
"Nice vocals," he replied.
I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."
"So, how have you been?" he asked. He seemed to be a bit off himself and I wondered what would make him nervous.
"Okay," I replied, never having been any good at small talk.
He ran his hand across the back of his neck. I knew him well enough to know that meant he was feeling nervous about something. Could it be me? Had he had some raunchy sex dream about me? I wondered if I was any good in it.
"Hey, I was wondering," he said, shifting on his feet. "Have you heard from Esme lately?"
I felt my heart drop and I nearly shook my head. Why would a twenty-four year-old soon to be doctor be fantasizing over his girlfriend's eighteen year-old kid sister?
"I talked to her a couple weeks ago," I offered.
"Oh," he replied. He looked like he wanted to say more but instead he did some more shuffling.
I sucked at comforting. I could tell he needed it, but I didn't know how to provide it. The uncomfortable silence was making me uncomfortable.
"Hey, you should come over for dinner tonight. Mom said she's putting in a pot roast, which means she'll have enough to feed an army." I laughed at my own lame joke. That made me feel extra lame.
"Yeah?" he said, perking up.
"Sure, I'll text her and tell her you're coming. It'll be ready by six-ish so come over anytime."
He smiled at me and all the awkwardness was gone, he really was easy to please. He'd have to be to put up with my sister. It was obvious to me she hadn't talked to him in over two weeks. I did not know what was wrong with her. I almost wished Carlisle would find someone better for him, but the selfish part of me wanted him in my family more.
Carlisle was the same but different. At dinner he was engaging and charismatic. It dawned on me as I cleared the dishes that when Esme was there, Carlisle was unable to get a word in edgewise. I loved my sister but she could talk Chatty Cathy's ear off.
My parents grabbed a deck of cards and started playing a game of crib at the table after supper. Carlisle looked unsure again as he said, "I should get going, thank you for dinner, Mrs. Swan."
"You're welcome, Carlisle," she replied.
I stood in the door and waited until he was past me, and then I followed him.
"Don't go yet," I said. "Stay and watch some TV or something."
He turned to face me and smiled. "Okay."
As I sat next to him, I was very aware of the heat coming off his leg next to mine, the way he laughed at the show, and most importantly, how he rubbed his hands ever so often on his pant legs.
It was becoming obvious to me, I had a crush on Carlisle.
February 17, 2012
The ice slid down my back, and I spun quickly, giving Carlisle the scowling of a lifetime.
"In the back? Dirty pool old man," I said, hurling my snowball at him. It veered right and missed him without him having to move.
"Old man? You are going to get it," he replied, chasing me. I squealed as I took off running.
Carlisle and I had become friends. Like separate from my family, separate from my sister, friends. After the night he had come over for dinner, we had seen each other at least once weekly. At first he told me it made missing my sister easier, which stung a little, but after a few in-depth chats about Esme, we started doing fun things, like pool or snowball fights. Esme hadn't really been included in a conversation for a few weeks.My crush had grown but I thought I hid it well; after all, we were just friends. I told myself that a few times a week, I would start to believe it any day now. But see...he made it hard. Carlisle was a toucher. He would wrap my arm in his when we walked, touch my back to lead me through a door, and the pièce de résistance was he would hug me every time we parted.
Every time we said goodbye, he wrapped those firm arms around my body, causing me to sniff in the scent of spice and ocean, weakening my resolve against his superhuman awesomeness. Carlisle spent a lot of time in my bed, he just didn't know it.
I tore through the snow bank but my short legs were no match for his long lithe ones. He caught me in a flash and took me to the ground. I raised my arms to cover my face so my body took the brunt of the fall as I landed in the snow. Carlisle was pressed against my back and then he was gone, running and laughing as I lay panting in the snow.
March 5, 2012
"Bonjour, Bella," Esme's voice came through the phone in a horrible French accent. I wondered how many people in ear shot she was offending.
"Hey," I said. "We miss you, how is design school?"
"Oh Bella, its très magnifique," she replied, butchering some more French. "And the best part is, I've met someone!"
"What?" I said harshly. "What do you mean you've met someone?"
Carlisle hadn't told me that Esme had broken it off. What if he was just being my friend because I was her sister? Would I lose him once she did?
"Bella, he is wonderful and so handsome."
I cut her off, my stomach was churning, "What about Carlisle?"
She sighed like she was talking to a small child. She had really never gotten over treating me like that; it was starting to piss me off. "He'll be fine. He is small town, Bella. Francois is all city." She talked just like she had when she had met Carlisle, it infuriated me.
"How could you do this to him?" My voice was starting to rise. "He loves you and you start dating another guy, have you even told him?
"Jeez, Bella, I'm your sister, you're supposed to be on my side."
"Whatever, I'm going out, I'll put mom on the line." I didn't wait for a response, I just walked to the kitchen, threw the phone at my mother, and walked out.
March 7, 2012
"Have you heard from Esme?" I asked.
I hadn't wanted to see Carlisle again until I knew Esme had dealt with her relationship with him, but when he called and asked me to catch a movie, I couldn't say no. He didn't need both Swan sisters turning him down.
"Not for a nearly a month, why?" His voice was conversational and I was surprised to see most of the hurt gone from his voice.
"Uhm, no reason," I said, looking down at my bucket of popcorn.
"Hey," he said softly, and I looked over at him, my lip firmly gripped in my teeth. "Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she's great," I mumbled, knowing this conversation was leading to me instigating the break-up. Why hadn't I said no to him? I looked at him again and got my answer.
He leaned in a bit and whispered as the movie previews were starting, "I knew it was only a matter of time. She's met someone, hasn't she?"
My eyes welled up and I felt like I was getting broken up with. "I can't believe she didn't call you," I whined and sniffed.
Carlisle shrugged. "It's okay, Bella. Really."
"How could she do that? You're so great?" I replied, and then blushed when I realized what I said.
Carlisle smirked at me. "I'm glad you think so."
I was saved by a loud bang in the preview, drawing my eyes to the screen where I kept them plastered until the credits rolled.
I put my hands in my pocket. Even though we had seen a comedy, I felt depressed. Now that Esme and Carlisle were done, I didn't know what it meant for me and him. He nudged me with his arm as we walked and I looked over at him, causing me to trip. He reached out and steadied me by putting his arm around my back.
When we got to the car, he let go of me and I reached for the door, but before I could open it, he grabbed my arm. I turned to face him and he was incredibly close.
"This doesn't change anything between us, okay? We're still friends," he stated and then seemed to lose his confidence as he continued, "That is, if you still want to be."
"Of course I do," I said vehemently.
He stared at me for a long time, his body so close to mine I couldn't feel the cool night air. "Good," he replied finally, then left me standing against the car door as he went to the driver's side.
I was in deep shit.
March 21, 2012
I had seen Carlisle at least once every other day since the movie. He had been true to his word and nothing had changed between us, no matter how much I wanted it to. So I channeled all of my emotions—read horniness—into my journal. The small coil-bound book read racier than any Harlequin gracing the shelves of Borders.
A knock on my window caused me to stuff the book into my nightstand. I turned just as Carlisle stood up from crawling in the window.
"You know you can use the door. Mom and dad know you're up here," I said, smiling.
"What fun is that?"
"Besides, you do know that spending time as a patient in the hospital doesn't count towards your residency hours."
He looked at my desk quickly, grabbing a pack of sticky notes and tossing them at me, "Har har."
I was about to make fun of him for saying, 'har har', but he took a couple steps toward me and now he was standing entirely too close to my bed for me to form a functioning thought that didn't end in Tab A inserts in Slot B.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" he asked, sitting on my bed. I swallowed hard and looked at him, my mouth hanging slightly open. "Bella?"
"Oh," I said jumping a little, causing him to laugh. And because he was sitting too close to me and on my bed, no less, I blurted, "I saw you and Esme having sex."
I'm not sure who cringed first, or harder. Maybe he didn't even cringe, I couldn't tell with my eyes clenched tight. I wanted to tell him I hadn't meant to but I was too busy wishing the world would swallow me up to say anything.
When I opened my eyes, Carlisle was smirking. Smirking!
"What?" I huffed, more irritated than embarrassed now.
"Did you see my bum, Bella?" he asked, holding back a laugh.
"No, I saw your cock, Carlisle." Apparently I was out of verbal filters for the night.
The comment had the reaction I expected, the cheeky grin fell from his face and he gasped.
"Please tell me you weren't fifteen," he said, grimacing.
"No," I said, looking about as comfortable as I felt. "I was sixteen."
He made a face and turned to me. "I'm so sorry, Bella, that must have been gross for you."
And then my face turned a shade of red usually only found in the ripest of tomatoes. I shrugged. "I don't know…it didn't seem gross to me."
Carlisle sighed. "Bella, you were a child, you shouldn't have seen that."
"So what? I did. And I'm not a child anymore. Seeing your cock didn't make me some derelict," I argued.
"Would you stop saying cock, please," he replied, standing up and pacing.
The distance gave me some clarity and made me a bit bolder. "Cock, cock, cock," I sang, and then my voice went deep and husky, "I saw your long, hard, glorious cock, Carlisle, what are you going to do about it?" I stood up and crossed my arms.
When he spun around, I had not expected to see that look in his face. It was hunger, it was hot, it was aimed at me. I dropped my arms as he stalked towards me; I took a step away, putting my back against the wall. I hated that I'd backed down because I was sure this was a game, and I didn't want to lose.
"Don't say it again," he snarled, placing his hands on the wall on either side of my head.
I smirked. "Cock." I dragged the word out, putting extra emphasis on the hard sound at the end.
And then his lips were on mine. I was shocked, and for a moment I wondered if this was part of the game, but then I realized I was being kissed senseless and I hadn't responded. I parted my lips just as he pulled back and my body followed his as a whimper left my mouth.
"Shit, Bella," he said. "I'm so sorry…fuck…I'll just go."
"Wait," I said, panicked, but he was already out the window.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
March 22, 2012
I had not expected to see Carlisle Cullen again. The awesome friendship we'd had was shattered. Ironically, it was from a cock, and I didn't even get to try it.
I stayed in my room all morning, only escaping in the early hours for some cucumbers to put over my sore eyes. I turned on some music and lay on my bed, letting the vegetable slices take care of the damage I had caused.
I felt a hand on my arm and sighed.
"Mom, I just want to be alone right now."
"Uhm," replied a deep voice.
I sat up quickly, the cucumbers falling from my eyes. The skin behind them felt slimy but I was too scared that if I left to clean them, he'd go, so I just grabbed my comforter and wiped them.
"What are you doing here?" My voice sounded hoarse and weak.
"I came to apologize," he said. I looked down, there was no part of this conversation I wanted to have. "I shouldn't have forced myself on you like that. You must think I'm such a dick, I mean you're my ex's sister and I've known you since you were a kid…"
"Stop," I said, I didn't want to hear anymore. "Carlisle, I have wanted to kiss you for years, I feel like I'm the one who took advantage of you. You trusted me; after all, I am Esme's sister. I spent all last night thinking. I knew what you were doing and I pushed you. I'm sorry."
"No, this is not your fault…wait, you wanted to kiss me? For years?" His tone changed completely and a small smile even made its way on his face.
"Shut up, you're the old perv who kissed me," I said, and just like that, we were back to normal.
Normal with kissing.
April 2, 2012
Just over a week and he already had me in the palm of his hand. We had only really kissed. Carlisle was nervous about moving too fast. He was very sweet and insistent to show me that he was over my sister. It didn't really bother me that much. I knew about the history, heck I had been there to witness most of it but what we had felt so good I just didn't care, until after a phone call from my sister.
"Hey, Esme, I want to tell you something," I said. My sister had a way of dominating a telephone call and if I didn't pipe up early, I wasn't going to get my turn. "I am seeing someone...I'm seeing Carlisle."
"How could you, Bella? That, he is like six years older than you, that's practically rape. He's using you to get back at me for leaving him…" The hurtful things kept pouring out of her mouth but I stopped listening. I knew my sister might not be happy about this but I figured telling her early would be better.
"Esme," I said, and then repeated myself when she didn't stop, "Esme!"
"What?" she hissed.
"Why do you care so much? You left him and you have Francois."
"Francois was a fling, Bella. I was always coming home to Carlisle, you knew that."
My insecurity overrode my anger. "You want him back?"
"Yes, so whatever this little thing you had with him is over. Once I call him, he'll take me back. He loves me, Bella."
Was she right? Did he love her still? They had been together over four years, how could I compete with that? By the time my sister had ripped me a new one on the phone, I felt thoroughly defeated.
April 4, 2012
My cell phone rang and I looked at the name.
I pushed ignore and watched it until the voice mail button beeped. I was scared to take his call, being fairly certain that my sister would have called him after I had talked to her. He was calling to break up with me, and while we hadn't had a chance to see if we could make it in the long run, the thought of him with my sister again made me sick. I didn't know how I'd be able to handle seeing him kiss her again, putting his arm around her. I knew what his kisses felt like now; I didn't want to give them up.
About fifteen minutes later, I was curled up on my side with a book in my hand when a knock came at my window. I rolled over and looked at his sad face on the other side of the glass. I had wanted to put it off just a little longer, but I couldn't very well have left him on the branch outside my window.
I sighed and stood, my legs not wanting to move as they journeyed across the room. I unlocked the window and pushed it up, stepping back to allow him to come in. As soon as he was in the room, he crushed me in his arms.
"Why haven't you answered my calls? I've been calling since yesterday morning," he inquired.
"I'm sorry," I said weakly, "I haven't been feeling good." I pulled myself out of his arms and sat on the end of my bed.
He sat down next to me and placed his hands in his lap. "There is something I need to talk to you about," he started. My head sunk down; I wanted to plug my ears and not listen but I had grown out of that habit about eleven years earlier.
"Esme called me the other night and she wanted me back," he said.
"I know," I replied. "She called me, too."
"Really?" he asked, confused. "Then why didn't you tell her we were together?"
I looked at him, shocked. "I did."
"But she…" He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"It's okay, I know you love her…"
"Loved, Bella, past tense. I'm with you now," he said softly, cupping my cheek.
My body straightened. "You mean you didn't take her back?" I asked incredulously.
He looked at me for a moment and then smiled and shook his head. "You silly girl, why would I do that? Esme and I are as different as they come, you and me, we fit. I want to be with you."
I crashed my lips to his and didn't stop kissing him until I had to come up for air.
May 7, 2011
"Mom," I said.
"I'm sort of, well actually…I'm dating Carlisle."
She took a sip of her coffee and looked up at me. She shook her head and called out, "Charlie, I told you we should have cut that branch."
I looked at her, slightly amused.
"He uses the door from now on, okay?"
"Okay," I replied, smiling.
June 21, 2012
My back was arched and my leg wrapped around his hip. Carlisle was placing the most delectable wet kisses along my neck. I rocked my hips into him and he groaned; I liked the sound so I did it again. He grabbed my upper thigh, causing all thought to abandon me and…he pushed my leg off.
I groaned and rolled onto my back. "Come on, really?" I whined.
It had been like this for a while. All rev and no go.
"I'm trying not to corrupt your innocence Bella," he said, frustrated.
"I'm your girlfriend, you are supposed to try and corrupt my innocence," I countered, looking back over at him and running my hand down my own chest.
"You are innocent, Bella, you're only eighteen."
"I'm almost nineteen," I pouted.
"See, a baby," he replied, moving closer and kissing the spot right under my ear.
I pushed his chest back and straddled him. "And you are a dirty old man," I quipped, "so you might as well enjoy it."
He laughed, but I got to third base that night.
July 4, 2012
Carlisle led me out to the abandoned farm yard off the main highway. We hopped a fence; well, he hopped and I climbed, causing the wood to break and Carlisle to catch me. He took my hand with his right hand, his left carrying a small duffle bag.
"What are we doing?" I asked, humor lacing my tone.
"You'll see," he responded, suddenly stopping.
He placed the bag on the ground and then unzipped it. I tried to peek in but was quickly scolded so I took a few steps back, giving him time to prepare. Pulling out an old checked blanket, he spread it out on the ground and I happily sat down on it. He pulled out a glass bottle of coke and opened it, handing it to me. I smiled at him and blushed a little at how well he knew me already. He placed a small lantern flashlight on the blanket and kissed my cheek.
"Wait here," he said, picking up the bag and heading off into the darkness.
I sat and took a sip of my drink and waited for him to return. After a few minutes, I started to worry. I rose up onto my knees, trying to see anything in the darkness in front of me. The light provided me a small area to see and beyond it was pitch black.
"Carlisle?" I called out hesitantly.
I was about to call again when the sky was filled with light. I looked up as the green firework exploded into a dozen little sparks in the night air. Carlisle reappeared and sat down next to me on the blanket. We sat reclined, him propped up on his elbow and me in front of him, my back cuddled into his chest.
"Did you do this all for me?" I asked in wonder between the loud pops in the sky.
"Bella, I'm quickly learning there isn't much I wouldn't do for you," he replied. I angled my head back and kissed him.
The fireworks were soon over and forgotten and it was several days later that I learned Carlisle's friend Aro had actually been the one out there setting them off. I kissed him as he hovered over me, rolling me to my back. His hand slid up my torso and cupped my breast, causing me to moan and press into him.
No one had ever made me so crazy with a single touch. I knew I didn't have a lot of experience to base my reactions on, but I couldn't imagine anything better than this. The cool night air felt good on my skin as Carlisle set it ablaze.
Soon I found myself in just my underwear, writhing under him as he pulled off his own shirt. "Please," I begged, needing more. He, in such a short time, had become my everything, and I wanted nothing more than to give him my everything.
"Bella," he pleaded, looking for the strength to turn me down again.
"Please, Carlisle, I love you," I whispered, desperately saying the words for the first time.
His hips stopped moving on mine and he looked down at me, and smiled. "Really? You're not saying that to get in my pants?"
His lips twitched and I laughed, breaking some of the tension. I reach up and took his face in my hands. "I love you, Carlisle Cullen, your prudish old ass and all."
"Bella." I expected him to scold me back, but instead he said, "I love you, too."
I smiled and brought his face to mine, kissing him softly and sweetly, but those kisses quickly heated and the tension retuned. His hand moved to my breast, pulling the cup down so he could palm the warm flesh in his hand. I groped at his sides, his ass, anything I could reach. I could feel him pressed against my leg and he was throbbing.
We spoke no more but as it seemed clear where we were headed, things slowed down. The passion didn't wane but the actions became more loving and less lustful. He kissed my lips before sitting up and slowly pulling my underwear down. The black lace was tossed to the side and he ran his hands up my thighs.
When I'd had sex with Jasper, I had thought he loved me, but now I knew what real love looked like. Carlisle peered down at me with reverence, every touch of my skin brought a new expression of awe over his face. He kissed the sensual spots, he kissed the non-sensual spots, and both were given equal care.
I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra, letting it fall. I was naked for the first time in front of him and I felt no shyness, only desire. I sat up on my knees and unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down to his knees, along with his underwear, but then he had to roll onto his ass to get them the rest of the way off. I looked down at him, he was hard and beautiful.
But then a pained expression came over his face. "Bella, I don't have…I didn't expect…shit."
"It's okay," I replied. "I'm on the pill."
He looked at me, the battle clearly written on his face. "Are you sure? We can wait…"
"Oh, Carlisle, please don't sit there naked and gorgeous and ask me to wait. I'm not great with patience on a good day."
He barked a laugh and it was the response I wanted because soon his body was pushed over mine again and we were creating heat. He warmed me with his fingers, touching and prepping my body for what was to come.
When he finally pushed into me, I was nearly mad with desire. His eyes watched mine as he rocked his hips gently to mine. To be stretched and filled by the man I loved was the most wonderful feeling in the world, and the expression on his face told me he felt the same way.
I ran my hands though his hair and he let his hands wander over my body. I let out a shaky breath when he grabbed my knee and hoisted it up, sending him deeper into me. A few strokes in this position and I was clenching around him.
"Already?" he asked. "I'm just getting started."
His hand slid between our bodies and cupped my breast, his weight resting on his other elbow. He kissed and nipped at my neck and I rocked my hips to help him. I took the leg he had resting over his elbow and propped it up on his shoulder, earning me a groan.
"You're so flexible," he moaned as his thrusts became faster.
I hooked my leg around his neck, by bending my knee, and used my leg to pull him to me for a kiss. His body laid on mine and caused his pelvis to rub against my clit with every push.
"I'm close again," I murmured and bucked, trying to get there.
Carlisle seemed to grow larger in me and then he slammed in once more, taking himself to the hilt and then came deep within me. I followed him, having my first multiple experience during sex.
As he pulled off me, the reality hit me. I suddenly felt shy, not because I was ashamed of what we did, but I knew just who he would compare me to.
"That was…" he started and I held my breath waiting for him to finish, "amazing, Bella. I think you were made just for me."
Even in the dark, my smile shone through.
July 4, 2015
Carlisle and I had our ups and downs, like any couple, but we truly became the perfect team. It was awkward when my sister returned home from Paris, single and bitter. It took her a year to stop the snide remarks and even now she has a hard time keeping them off her face. But I don't feel guilty about it. They didn't fit, we did.
So, on the anniversary we had declared our love, Carlisle and I marched down the aisle and said our I do's. I entered the church as Isabella Swan and left as Isabella Cullen, but it wasn't the name that made me happy or the fact that I'd married a doctor, it was the love that radiated off this man for me.
I had no idea if we would live a charmed life or end up living paycheck by paycheck. I didn't know if we would be able to have kids or if tragedy would strike. I only knew that I had one life and I was going to spend it with the only man in the world for me. And that made me the luckiest girl alive.