B: Okay I know looonnnngggggg time no write. Sorry I just didn't feel inspired, luck for all of you there was a Harry Potter weekend and there is other on the 4th so updating hopefully will happen sooner than later.

S: Britt babe I missed you!

B: Missed you too love.

Okay so there of course is another meeting tonight and Sirius is pissed at me haven't talked to me all day. I just hope he can before the meeting. If he doesn't that means that I will have to listen to the whole thing and I don't know if I can do that without killing Dumbledore.

"So how long have you and Sirius been seeing each other" James asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"We're not, and will you not say that I don't need Harry hearing that stuff he can get Sirius to ask me out" I say still pissed with him.

"Why don't you want Sirius asking you out? You to seem as if you're married anyways why not just date? I don't get why you act that way with him if you're not even see Sirius" He was starting to piss me off.

"I don't want him to ask me out because he sees it as he has to. He did it before when I got pregnant with Harry see how bad it was for me not to be married and having a baby. We act the way we do because we are good friends and he has been a father to Harry. Also when everything seems to be going to hell he is there for me that why" With that I got up and left.

Today has been hell. James took the kids out to get ice cream or something. Arthur and Molly were shooed away by me seeing as they never have time to be with each other anymore. Tonks is at work. I had off Remus gone with James in hopes to get James to see how wrong he is. So it's only me and Sirius in the house this may be very bad.

I was right, I walk in to the kitchen and on the table was firewhiskey and Sirius it's like he is trying to piss me off.

"WHAT THAT HELL SIRUS!" I could not believe he would to this when just the other night I reminded him.

"I'm a bad person, I hurt everyone. Mom, James, you, Harry should not look up to me. No good, me no good. I should die I should be left alone to die" God he's drunk. I go find the potion to sober him up so we can talk.

"So didn't we so go over about drinking when there are kids?"

"But there are no kids" He shot back

"Yes there is when they can come back at any minute"

"I don't get why you won't let any of us to drink. What's so wrong with it is not like it's going to kill anyone" Well I might.

"I promise myself Harry would never see anyone he love act that why when there drunk"

"Why would you say that, and act what way?"

"Okay I should tell you everything about my childhood the only other person who knows this is James and I don't want you to look or at any different when I tell you got it?'

"Got it?'

"My dad was unfaithful in his marriage to my mom don't ask when. Well my mom would drink to forget what he was doing. When she would drink she was a different person. When she drank she hated me. Called me ugly, that I was something she wished never happened. My dad drank the nights he didn't get any from some slut he was worst he hit. That's why I hate drinking" I took a deep breath and pry that nothing has changed with us.

"Oh Lily if I had…" Sirius started look as he was going to cry.

"Sirius don't… really just don't" I walked out of the hoping he wouldn't follow and I was lucky that he didn't. I went upstairs and cried till I heard the door open and I heard James, Remus and the kids come home. I cleaned myself up and went downstairs.

B: What do you think? PLEASE TELL