So I started writing this after watching The French Mistake, but I only got up to maybe a paragraph or two before I got distracted and forgot about it. I found it again a few weeks later and started writing it again, using some inspiration from Paleyfest.
I realize that my Jensen and Jared aren't much like the real life Jensen and Jared, but I am awful at writing them. So I just tried to make it humorous by turning Jared into a sassy diva and Jensen into a sarcastic smarty-pants with immature tendencies.
"Ow! Get off me!"
"What just happened?"
Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki pushed themselves up off of the cold, wet concrete, groaning and rubbing their heads. The two actors looked around the sudden new environment, dazed and confused. "How'd we get outside?" Jensen wondered aloud, trying to shield himself from the pouring rain. Jared ignored his co-star, and ran for the set. He didn't want to get his hair wet. Jensen followed.
They ran towards the opening of the set for "Bobby's house," but were shocked to discover that they were literally outside Bobby's house. The set had transformed into what looked like a setting of Supernatural brought to life. "What... the... hell?" Jared muttered. "Where are we? Is this Misha's idea of some joke or something? How'd he even do this? The little freak..." Jensen shouted, marching towards the front door of the seemingly fictional house. "Jensen," Jared said, crossing his arms and jutting his hip out. Jensen turned and gave Jared an exasperated look. "What, princess?" he asked. Jared sighed heavily and uncrossed his arms. "Don't give me that diva stuff," Jensen snarled. Jared sighed again. He made his way toward the significantly shorter other man. "You aren't at all concerned about what's going on here?" he asked, an edge to his voice. "I mean... ah... think about it. It was a beautiful sunny morning less than five minutes ago. Now it is pouring rain. It looks like it's nighttime. And haven't you noticed we're the only ones here? Bob isn't anywhere, none of the crew are around... our makeup artists and chairs have just disappeared. We're outside. Why are we outside? We shouldn't be outside!"
Jensen held up his hands. "Shut up, will ya? I'm just as confused as you. Maybe Misha drugged our coffees so that the minute we went out the window in that last take, we'd fall asleep. And while we were asleep, he dragged us to some house that resembles Bobby's house so much it's uncanny, kept us there until it's night, and as we started to come to, tossed us out the window! It makes sense." he explained. Jared rubbed his chin. "That makes sense... Misha would do that, the little creep. But the rain?" he said. Jensen stared at Jared in disbelief. "It's called weather, Jared. Weather. It rains sometimes." He turned towards the house. "Now let's get inside. I'm sure everyone is waiting in there, and laughing at us as we speak." "Good idea," Jared began, following Jensen. "My hair is ruined anyway." He heard Jensen mutter something about how irritating he was, but shrugged it off. At least we're talking, he thought to himself.
The boys opened the front door, only to be greeted by Sebastian Roche treating a wound on his chest. He practically jumped a foot into the air when they opened the door. "What? What? What are you two doing here? You should be -" he shouted. "Knocked out? In the rain?" Jensen yelled. "What happened to you, Seb?" Jared asked. They saw Sebastian pause, as if he just realized something. "Oh... uh oh. I thought this would happen. Crap, crap, crap..." He limped around to a book that was on the coffee table, clutching his ribs. Jensen and Jared looked at each other in confusion. "Are you okay, Sebastian?" Jensen asked, taking a cautious step towards the accented actor. "Oh, I'm fantastic, son. Just wonderful." Sebastian said. He closed the book and started to... pray?
Jensen and Jared watched him, more confused than ever. "What in the world are you doing, Sebastian?" Jensen asked. Sebastian stood up and turned to "Jay-squared." "Listen boys, you are about to be very confused. But you just have to trust everyone you meet. Well, not everyone. But for the most part, if someone tries explaining to you what's going on, just go with it." he said. Jared and Jensen looked at each other, but jumped when a voice boomed behind them. "Let's go." They turned and found themselves facing none other than Misha Collins. "Misha what the hell is-" Jared began, but was cut off when Misha touched his forehead and the trio found themselves in the middle of a street. "Wh-what?" Jensen stammered. "Misha, I am so fuckin' confused right now." Misha looked at Jensen, puzzled. "Why are you calling me Misha?" he asked in his ridiculous Castiel voice. "Ha ha, very funny. Now tell us what's going on." Jared said, crossing his arms and sticking his hip out again. "You are not where you think you are," Misha said, looking around. "You are in a different universe. One that you formerly believed didn't exist." he continued, turned towards Jared and Jensen. The two men looked more confused then doubtful. Judging by the circumstances, they wouldn't be surprised if they had somehow fallen into an alternate dimension. "Explain further. And stop talking like that." Jensen demanded. Misha looked at him and blinked. "Um. Well. Anyway. In this dimension, you are not who you think you are. You are not Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki." he said. Jensen and Jared looked at each other, almost afraid of what was coming next. They had a slight inkling of what would come out of Misha's obviously stoned mouth.
"You are Dean and Sam Winchester."
"Yeah, again. Very funny. How did you do all of this?" Jared asked, refusing to believe it. "I didn't do it. Balthazar did." Misha said, still using the deep, gravelly voice that the fans clearly loved. Jensen sighed. "Misha, we all know that Balthazar isn't real. Nothing in Supernatural is real. It's a television show." he said. Misha closed his eyes. "In your universe it is. But in this universe... it's not. And you are in this universe now. And until Balthazar and I can do what we have to do, you have to stay here. On this street. Can I trust you?" he said. Jensen sighed again. "Misha-"
"Stop calling me that! My name is not Misha." Misha suddenly exploded. "My name is Castiel. I am not a Misha." And with that, Misha disappeared. Jensen turned to look at Jared. "J-Jared? Did Misha just... disappear?" he stammered. Jared just gaped at his costar. "I think he did..." Jared almost offered to buy Jensen a sandwich, but he suddenly remembered that he was still mad at him. He huffed, crossed his arms, and turned away from Jensen, surveying the street ahead of them. "Well, I know it sounds stupid, but I think that... er... Castiel... was telling the truth. I mean, you saw it. He disappeared!" Jensen said awkwardly. "I am not talking to you." Jared snapped, refusing to look at him. Jensen paused, baffled. "What the hell, Jared? You were talking to me before!" he shouted. Jared finally turned. "Yeah, but then I remembered what you did!" he shouted right back.
"Oh, come on. It was a joke. I doubt Gen even believed me!"
"Jensen... she made me sleep on the couch."
"Oh, big deal. I've never been to your house but I'm sure your couch is perfectly comfortable."
"It's leather. It made me sweat! My hair got greasy."
"That's why you're mad? Because of my prank, Gen put you on the couch and your hair got greasy? Seriously?"
"No, that's not it! Gen now thinks that I'm some sort of... creepy sex addict or something. And that I have a thing for... for you, that I have a fetish for bondage, and that I am an alcoholic!"
"If anything, that would make you get more action."
Jared turned away from Jensen again and started walking down the street. He turned at the corner, prompting Jensen to run after him. "Um, Jared? Mish... I mean Castiel told us we had to stay here!" he yelled. "I'm not staying anywhere near you," Jared yelled back. Jensen stopped following him. "Fine, you bitch!" he shouted before turning and storming away in the opposite direction.
Jared sighed heavily and ran his hand through his thick locks of hair. He was sitting on a bench, wondering if Jensen would come to find him. Ever since Jensen showed Jared's wife, Genevieve, a picture of him and Jared wearing lingerie in Vegas, with their legs intertwined and with Jared wearing a muzzle, the two had been on negative terms. The entire cast and crew saw the picture and despite Jared's constant claims that Jensen had photoshopped it, thought it was real. Misha wanted to tweet the picture, but Jared threatened to delete Misha's Twitter account and erased the thought from his head.
And now, here they were. Stuck in some sort of weird alternate universe and probably about to get slapped around by Real Castiel for disobeying him. Suddenly Jared heard a noise that sounded like huge wings behind the bench he was sitting on. He turned around and found himself facing a woman with dark, smooth skin and medium length hair. She was wearing a suit and a stolid expression. "Sam Winchester." was all she said, in a deep, commanding voice. Jared stared at her blankly. "I'm not... hello?" he said, unsure of how to react. The woman raised one hand and threw Jared off of the bench and into a telephone pole. "Oof!" Jared grunted, crumpled on the floor. He put one hand to his head, making sure that he wasn't bleeding. The last thing he wanted to do was wash blood out of his hair. "What the hell, lady?" he groaned.
The woman walked around the bench. "You don't recognize me, do you, Sam?" she said. She took a few steps closer to Jared. "I've been looking everywhere for you," she added, pulling Jared to his feet. She looked deep into his eyes and confusion washed over her face. "Something is... different about you." she said, squinting. "Who the hell are you?" Jared whimpered, tears streaming down his face. "Raphael." she said simply. "What?" Jared squeaked. "That's not possible. I mean... Raphael wasn't played by a girl.. he was played by -" "Enough!" Real Raphael's voice boomed. Jared was suddenly aware that he was the only one on the street, apart from Real Raphael. Maybe there was a reason Real Castiel wanted him and Jensen to stay on that specific street.
Someone suddenly appeared down the street. Jared and Raphael turned and saw Jensen standing there, his fists balled and looking pissed. "Get away from him, he is a married man!" Jensen screamed, running straight at Raphael. "Dean," she... he... said, letting go of Jared and raising one hand. Jared shut his eyes, afraid of what would happen to Jensen. He opened one when he didn't hear a shout or crash. He saw Jensen standing a few feet away from them, watching Raphael, who was looking up to the sky and talking. "...I will reach through the window and take you and the key home." was all Jared caught before Raphael looked at the two of them. "Listen, miss. We are not Sam and Dean Winchester." Jared panted. Raphael stared at him. "I know that." was all Raphael said before disappearing.
Jensen ran over to Jared and slung his arm around his shoulders. "Are you okay, Jared?" he asked. Jared nodded. "Confused as hell, but I'll be fine." Jensen smiled. "Good. Let's get back to that street where Castiel told us to stay." he said. The two started heading there.
"Do you believe this is all real yet?"
"Shut up, Jensen."
The two actors were sitting on the curb when suddenly Castiel appeared in front of them. "It is almost time for you to return to your own world." he said. Jared and Jensen scrambled to their feet. "Listen, we're really sorry for calling you Misha." Jared said. "Yeah, we didn't mean to... insult you like that," Jensen giggled, only to receive an elbow in the ribs from Jared. "It's okay," Castiel said. "I understand that you had a run-in with Raphael?" The boys nodded. "He was about to waste us when he started talking to the sky." Jared said. Castiel paused. "That means Virgil made a call..." a look of sorrow washed over his face while Jensen mouthed Virgil? to Jared, who shrugged. "That means he had to... never mind. I need to know what Raphael said." "He said that he was going to reach into a window and take someone and a key home. I'm guessing that's here." Jared said. Castiel nodded. "Let's go. We have to get to Bobby's." He put his fingers to Jared and Jensen's forehead and zapped the three of them to Bobby's house.
"So wait, does this mean that Sam and Dean, the real Sam and Dean, were in our world? If we were in their world?" Jensen asked. Castiel nodded. "That's actually pretty cool." Jensen snickered. "It is. I just hope they didn't fuck anything up while they were there." Jared scoffed. Jensen sighed. "I doubt they did. I mean, if they're anything like how we play them, they are smart, talented, responsible guys. I'm sure they just filmed some scenes for us, hung out with Gen and Danneel for us... Maybe had to deal with the picture nonsense. Ha! I would have loved to see their reaction to that." he said, an amused smile spreading across his face.
Jared and Jensen suddenly saw Castiel snap his head in the direction of a window that had a glowing red symbol on the glass. "It's time." he said. He gave a warm smile to the boys. "It was nice knowing you, Jensen and Jared." he said. Jared scoffed. "It's Jared and Jensen," he murmured as he followed Jensen to the window. "On the count of three!" Castiel shouted. "One... two... three!"
And Jared and Jensen leapt at the window.
"Great job, Jared! Great job, Jensen!"
Jared and Jensen opened their eyes to find themselves lying on a mattress, back at KM Studios. "Do you... think it worked?" Jared whispered. Jensen looked around. "Yeah, I'd say so." he said. "Did what I think happened... really happen?" Jared said, getting to his feet and looking all over the studio. All Jensen did was nod. "Hey look!" Jared suddenly yelled. "It's Misha! The real Misha!" He pointed across the floor to none other than Misha, standing awkwardly in his Castiel costume. Jared and Jensen ran towards him and attacked him a huge hug. Misha beamed. "Aw, you guys," he said. "You really know how to make a guy feel welcome. You know I'm going to have to tweet this, right?" Jared and Jensen let go of Misha and Jared put his hands on his shoulders. "You tweet it fifty times if you want. I'm just glad you don't have wings."
The two ran off, leaving Misha to pull out his phone and tweet. "Jay-squared... just... gave me... the... best hug... ever," Misha said aloud as he typed. "I... bet they'll... invite me... to... their... next... night... out... in... Vegas." Misha put his phone away and chuckled. "I wonder what's gotten into them," he wondered out loud as he watched them run around and hug practically everyone they met. He shrugged. "Oh well. At least they're talking."