Chapter 1: Anders
A/N: We all knew this would happen…
Isabela sat at a table at the Hanged Man, scribbling down her thoughts on a piece of paper that she'd filched from a street vendor. After gossiping with Miriam today, she had the perfect plot for a new story that she just knew Varric would love. She wrote:
Anders took Bella in his scrawny, yet somehow still manly arms and said, "For the last three years, I have ached for you."
"Ached for you?" Bella asked, drawing back, despite that she had an urge to explore the bulge that had appeared at about groin level in Ander's robe. "Does that mean what I think it has? I mean…that's a long time for…"
"Well, I have found ways of taking care of it," Ander said, pouting in that cute little way he did whenever she didn't give him exactly what he wanted, such as explosives or a place to hide from the Templars in Hightown. "But I thought about you when I was doing so. Only about you. Even when I was with different men or women at the Blooming Rose, it was you who was constantly on my mind."
"Oh, that's so romantic!" Bella Hawke said, flinging herself into Anders' arms and moving her hand to explore the ache he had carried with him for so long. "I've ached for you too! Not quite in that way, but in a similar way I guess. I mean, sometimes I did fantasize about other people, especially the incredibly gorgeous and talented sea captain that I have in my party, who is definitely the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. And I may have considered hooking up with either of the elves, the dwarf, and have even considered Bianca's charms. But I've ached for you nonetheless!" She drew back to gaze into his eyes, his splendid amber orbs that were no longer lit up by a creepy demon of vengeance who she suspected never entirely went away, even during his most intimate endeavors. "But what doe s Justice think about all of this?"
Anders pouted again. "He disapproves," he said, giving her his puppy dog eyes. "It's one of the few things we don't agree on."
"Of me or of the ways you have of taking care of your ache?" Bella asked.
"Both," Anders said. He groaned, the pains of a thousand terrible sufferings running through his voice. "He especially disliked it when I hired pretty male elfs at the Hanged Man and called them by your name. That seemed to distress him tremendously. More than anything else I have done to relieve my eternal suffering."
"Oh, that's no good," Bella said, pulling him close to her. "I don't want what we are about to do right now to upset him and make him take you over. People sometimes die when that happens. And while I am tough enough to take you on if necessary, it would certainly put a damper on our otherwise romantic and exquisite love making!"
"I will try to control myself," Anders said. "After all, women are not pleased by men who have no self control."
"This is true," Bella agreed with great passion. She looked deep into his eyes, and was excited to know that she would be with a man who was both passionate, yet lacked the control necessary for a proper hook up.
"Besides, after the last three years, I think that Justice will find what we're about to do a relief," Anders said, kissing her intently in the way that an overly frisky mabari might lick at someone's face. "Oh, Bella…I never want to leave you!"
"I never want to leave you, either," Bella said, kissing him again and listening to him moan in a way that was either really erotic, or slightly tortured. She couldn't tell which. With Anders, everything was a combination of the greatest of pains and pleasures.
Bella then pulled him to their bed, where they made out for hours and hours and hours before eventually moving on to more vigorous lovemaking. When they were done, Anders begged to move in. And Bella, not being afraid of commitment whatsoever, foolishly decided to give him the keys to her place.
Isabela put down her pen just as Varric entered the pub. She handed it to him. "So, what do you think?" she asked.
"I hate to break it to you, Rivani," Varric said. "But I think it needs some editing. I'm just not sure that an entire scene where they talk about Anders getting it on with other people is exactly a romantic idea for a story."
"But that's the best part," Isabela said. She sighed and crumpled the paper before smoothing it out again. "I don't think you understand my genius."
"Maybe not, Rivani," Varric said. "Maybe not. But perhaps you need less talk about how much he lusts after her, and more about talk about eternal love."
That did sound like a good idea, so Isabela continued with:
After their beautiful and romantic lovemaking, Anders kissed Bella one last time before he left. "I have been dreaming of this for the last three years," he said. "And I keep fearing that I will awaken."
"It's not a dream, and we will never have to leave each other now," Bella said, staring into his amber eyes with endless longing. "We will be together forever and ever, no matter what. For I love you so much that I would do anything for you."
"I know," Anders said, and kissed her with great and glorious passion.
"Is that better?" Isabela asked, handing Varric the paper.
"It's definitely more romantic," he said with a nod . "Keep at it, and we'll have something ready to pass around in no time."