(A/N): Okay... so... this is... well, yeah. I really wanted to right a little intro to it; to explain why the hell Kurt is chatting with Puck, but... never really happened. It's better on its own. So, I already said it; it's Puck and Kurt chatting online. And... yeah. That's it. Plot? What plot? *looks around* Read, review, ENJOY! =D

Disclaimer: (Completely and utterly stealing this disclaimer. Full credit goes to Appleinn4, who created it. It was too amazing not to use).

I don't own Glee.

But you know what I do own?

YOUR MOM!

Get it?

Dissclaimer?


Puckzilla: Did you see last night's Deadliest Catch?

CellophaneDolphin: As surprising as it sounds, I did!

Puckzilla: woa I wuz ttlly kidding… u watch tht show?

CellophaneDolphin: I do. Why, do I not seem many enough to watch that show?

Puckzilla: no offnse dude, but… no

CellophaneDolphin: Well, you're partially right. I actually watched it with my dad for 'bonding time'.

Puckzilla: nd how did tht end up?

CellophaneDolphin: Badly. As to be expected. Anyway… why are you talking to me? Not to be rude or anything…

Puckzilla: lol its kool. im actually only tlkin to u cuz im bored.

CellophaneDolphin: Sorry to inform you, but I'm not that entertaining.

Puckzilla: idk, ur prtty funny… lookin!

CellophaneDolphin: *Facepalm* Well, if you'll be so kind as to excuse me, I have to go and take a shower…

Puckzilla: NO! DONT LEAVE ME! IM BORED!

Puckzilla: KURT?

Puckzilla: Damn. im bored.

Puckzilla: what 2 do…

Puckzilla: TITS! HUGE TITS!

Puckzilla: VAGINA! BOOBS! umm… OTHER GRLY PARTS!

Puckzilla: CAPSLOCK ABUSE!

CellophaneDolphin: Wow, I get back from my shower, look at my computer, and now I feel like barfing! Thank you, Noah!

Puckzilla: anetime prncess. woah… ur back! yay!

CellophaneDolphin: I feel the love… *sigh*

Puckzilla: did u have fun? u were gone 4eva

CellophaneDolphin: I had tons of fun. I met the gnome that lives in my shower drain.

Puckzilla: did u drop kick him?

CellophaneDolphin: Of course not! I'm more civil than that. He gave me a Canolli, and asked me to very kindly put my hair elsewhere!

Puckzilla: wow. duz he have lttle gnome babies?

CellophaneDolphin: Yeah. I've been feeding them little soap chips for years; didn't even know!

Puckzilla: wow thts amzing. r there other gnomes in pplz drains? is there like a gnome-2-gnome network?

CellophaneDolphin: There was. It got shut down, though; Facebook claimed that it was copyrighted.

Puckzilla: deprssing, dude. do they have gnome relief services?

CellophaneDolphin: Nope. They're considered a third world country; they're at war with the elves.

Puckzilla: ooohhhh tht sux. if gnomes live in shower drains… where do the elves live?

CellophaneDolphin: In your cookie jar.

Puckzilla: but… i dont have a cookie jar O.e

CellophaneDolphin: Twinkie jar, then?

Puckzilla: nope. but we do have this empty tub thing. thats prbly where they are

CellophaneDolphin: Ahhh… offer them a mint leaf! It lures them right out!

Puckzilla: are the gnomes edibl?

CellophaneDolphin: *rolls eyes* I don't know. Haven't tried yet. Anyway, if you catch them, put them in a jar, and shake, they spit sparks out of their butt!

Puckzilla: coluful sparks?

CellophaneDolphin: Definitely. Rainbows and 4th of July and all of that good stuff.

Puckzilla: hehe… perty!

CellophaneDolphin: Very. They light up my room at night. It's wonderful for meditation and skin care!

Puckzilla: i bet; tht shits pretty amazingful!

CellophaneDolphin: It really is. Also, you can shake them in a sequential order, and they'll go off like strobe lights!

Puckzilla: wudnt that be… idk… painful or somthn?

CellophaneDolphin: Not at all! They're made of rubbery mushrooms!

Puckzilla: like… shrooms? those things r BEAST.

CellophaneDolphin: So I've heard. And, really, again with the capslock abuse?

Puckzilla: Yuuuuup. ITS SOOPER FUN!

CellophaneDolphin: I'm sure. Listen, I've got to go to bed; otherwise, I'll have huge bags under my eyes tomorrow!

Puckzilla: so… ur goin to bed… mind if i join?

CellophaneDolphin: Goodnight, Noah.

Puckzilla: nite, prncess


(A/N): Magical, right? This was literally a text convo that I had with my friend. She didn't know that I considered it writing gold. I'm Kurt, she's Puck. Of course I changed a few things, but it's pretty much the same thing. Anyway... pretty magical, right? Yup.

Reviews also feed the gnome in my shower drain... and I do reply to them all (contrary to what I have been doing recently... =D)