Chapter 5


The cliff.

DJ's cellphone rang.

"Hello?" answered DJ.

"You should be watching over your friends and family!" said a voice that sounded like the Urban Legend killer's phone voice.

"Prunella, you best stay away from them!" said DJ.

"Awww." said the voice. "What's wrong with ghastly revenge?"

"Tell me where you're at!" shouted DJ.

"David, Sasha and Charlie's house." said the voice.

"We gotta go!" said DJ.

DJ and Keena got in the house, where Sasha, Freddy, Daisy, Itchy, Bess, Becca and Maybella were being held hostage by Bessy.

DJ locked the door.

"Are you insane!" cried Keena.

"We all go a little insane sometimes." said DJ.

Jacob peered in the doorway.

"Please help!" Keena cried.

Jacob raised a voice changer up to his mouth.

"Surprise, Keena!" said Jacob.

"No!" she cried.

She backed up into Nate.

"They're all trying to kill me!" said Keena.

"Friends trying to kill fish...sounds like fun!" said Nate with a hook up to his face.

"Someone, help me!" screamed Keena.

DJ stepped closer to Keena. His body quickly changed: him to Thor to Prunella to himself again.

Keena stepped up the stairs of which she was thrown down by Otis and Abby.


She woke up.

All of the 'killers' except for Charlie were in her face.

"Okay, so everyone but the seven of us are dying tonight." said DJ. "I'm DJ Voorhees, my mother's Bessy Voorhees, Nathan Willis, Jacob Macher, and that's Mr. and Mrs. Krueger." he said pointing at Otis and Abby. "We'll let Charlie introduce himself in a little bit."

"Why do you have to do this?" asked Keena.

"Don't despair, I'll save you!" said DJ. "I'll tell you what: here's my motive: SCREW YOU!"

"Charlie, won't you speak to Doggy?" asked DJ.

"Never believe my name is Charlie B. Barkin." Charlie said to Sasha. "CBB? I don't think so! But do you ever wonder what B stands for? THAT'S where Barkin goes! My last name is Myers...Michael Myers dog! Which means I'm a killer, just like him! Charlie Barkin Myers. Nice ring, huh?"

"Why did I love you?" asked Sasha.

"Ask yourself!" said Charlie.

"You guys won't be going to Heaven." said Keena.

"What?" asked DJ.

Otis punched her in the face.

"Say that again." DJ threatened.

Keena had knives by her sides.

Getting up, she spun the knives and turned into a green whippet (type of dog).

"I SAID...You're not going to Heaven!" she said.

"Who are you?" asked Charlie.

"Lorettabelle. An angel from Heaven." said the whippet, previously known as Keena.

"Cut!" said the same voice from across the room. But it wasn't Lorettabelle or Keena.

"Bravo!" said Annabelle. "This will make a great film!"

"I feel ashamed of being an actor, Annabelle." said DJ. "If you ever have me play in a film again, need I not remind you, I do not wish to do horror ever again!"

"Maybe we'll work something out." said Annabelle.

"Maybe." said DJ.

"I think it will sell well." said Keena. "I'm actually excited. It's my first movie."

Keena walked toward DJ.

"May I talk to you?" she asked.

"Yes." said DJ. "What?"

"During the movie, you said you loved me." said Keena. "Somehow I felt you weren't just pretending."

"Yes, I do love you." said DJ. "Will you marry me?"

Her eyes widened in excitement.

"Yes!" said Keena. "Yes I will!"

"Anybody got a good title for the film?" asked Annabelle before the two kissed.

"What about Final Cut?" asked DJ.

"Catchy!" said Annabelle. "So the name's Final Cut! Come on, Lorettabelle. It's time to come home!"

DJ and Keena kissed.


Kanye West - Heartless


Keena Ericks or Lorettabelle


Bebe Neuwirth as Keena Ericks/Lorettabelle/Annabelle

Cam Clarke as Freddy

Chris Hardwick as Otis

Courteney Cox as Daisy

Dom DeLuise as Itchy Itchiford

Jacoby Trimble as Jacob

Leigh-Allyn Baker as Abby

Nathan McCarty as Nate

Steven Weber as Charlie B. Barkin

Tress MacNeille as Bess Itchiford

Wanda Sykes as Bessy


Keena Ericks as herself

Lorettabelle as herself

Freddy as himself

Otis as Otis Krueger

Daisy as herself

Itchy Itchiford as himself

Jacob as Jacob Macher

Abby as Abby Krueger

Nate as Nathan Willis

Charlie B. Barkin as Charlie Barkin Myers

Bess Itchiford as herself

Bessy as Bessy Voorhees

DJ as himself/Thor/Prunella

Maybella as herself

Becca 'Zecca' as herself