In Your Arms
He looked like shit. Well that's at least what James had told him when he walked into the kitchen this morning, and yesterday, and the day before that. In fact, Carlos has looked like shit every morning for about the last two weeks now. Everyone noticed and were really worried, but Carlos just shrugged them off and told them that he was getting over the flu. Which wasn't totally a lie. Mrs. Knight had quarantined him to his and James' room for three days when he had come down with the flu bug, but that was over three weeks ago. And that's when everything started.
No, that was wrong, it had started way before that, but now Carlos was finally positive about his feelings. Growing up, Kendall and Logan had always been super close, like brothers, just like him and James. Sure, they were all best friends and would do anything for one another, but for some reason, when it came down to partnering up for things it was always James and Carlos, and Kendall and Logan. And frankly, Carlos was jealous. But, he had finally gotten him, well not fully gotten him, but got to spend more time with him then Kendall had over those few days.
When Mrs. Knight locked Carlos in his shared room, Logan-being the great friend and future doctor that he was-was right there the whole time. Logan had taken care of Carlos for three whole days, only leaving the room to use the bathroom or get food for the two boys, and only leaving Carlos' bed for those same reasons, or to find the remote that seemed to grow legs and disappear every now and then. This whole arrangement also forced James to sleep in Kendall and Logan's room, but neither of them complained.
When Carlos got sick, he was never able to sleep. He would toss and turn all night, pulling the blankets over himself, then throwing them off the next minute, only to pull them back up again later. But he found that he had rested the best over those few days. Maybe it was all the meds that Mrs. Knight and Logan had pumped into him. Maybe it was the million pillows that Logan had gotten from Bitters to keep him comfy. It could have been either one of those, but Carlos knew for sure what it was. It was being wrapped in Logan's warm embrace that sent Carlos into dreamland ever night and made him sleep with a baby.
This was why Carlos looked like shit. He no longer had that warm body to snuggle up to anymore. Just an over-sized, cold bed that left him restless. As soon as Carlos had gotten his color back, Logan had moved back into his room with Kendall and Carlos got James back. Sure he loved sharing a room with James, but what he loved more was being snuggled by Logan-even if it was completely platonic.
"Carlos?" a voice broke through Carlos' thoughts and he found himself staring up into the soft, concerned eyes of, what he now referred to as, his safety blanket. Logan sighed and sat down at the island next to Carlos and stared into his blood-shot, baggy eyes, "How much sleep have you been getting?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned for his friend.
The Latino shrugged and looked down into his soggy Fruit Loops swirling his spoon around in his barely touched cereal, "I don't know, a few hours, here and there."
Logan shook his head and placed his hand on Carlos' back, noting how the Latino tensed underneath his touch, "Carlos, what's wrong?" Logan whispered softy and ran his hand over Carlos' spine. Carlos shrugged again and kept his eyes on the rainbow colored circles in his bowl. The raven-haired boy huffed, "Something's wrong Carlos. Come on, you're starting to scare everyone. We're all really worried about you. I'm really worried about you."
Carlos raised his head to look at Logan who was smiling a little, but still looked extremely worried. Carlos opened his mouth to talk, but was interrupted when Kendall burst through the front door of the apartment. Both boys looked up at the smiling blonde, but Kenadall's grin quickly when he took in Carlos' appearence.
"Dude, what's wrong?" he grabbed an apple out of the fridge and leaned against the other side of the island facing the boys. He took a huge bite out of his fruit and raised a questioning eyebrow at the tired Latino.
Carlos shook his head, before pushing his bowl across the counter and getting to his feet, "Nothing." he mumbled and moved towards his room, wanting to be anywhere there wasn't sad, worried eyes focused on him.
He heard Logan sigh and then Kendall asked him if he wanted to go see that new action movie that had just come out. Carlos rolled his eyes and pushed his door open, not bothering to hear what Logan said cause he already knew the answer. Typical Kendall, always asking Logan to hang out alone, but never the others. Of course Logan would go with him, he hated dissappointing others, especially Kendall.
Carlos flopped on to his bed and wrapped his arms around a fluffy pillow, burying his face in it before letting out a frustrated scream. When breathing became an issue, he removed his face form the pillow and rested his head on it instead. He curled into the fetal postion around the pillow and just laid there listening to the rattle of the air conditioner.
The clock said it was 10:34 in the morning, but for some reason it felt like it should have been later than that. But he figured it was just cause he wasn't getting all of his sleep and was up for most of the night. As much as he willed his mind and body to just shut down, it wouldn't. Carlos closed his eyes and imagined being wrapped in Logan's warm embrace. The heat heat radiating off of Logan's body and the steady heartbeat under Carlos' palm.
The Latino sighed happily and was just on the edge of darkness, when he heard his bedroom door open and close softly. He tried as hard as he could to even out his breathing, but nothing would fool the short raven-haired boy.
The bed sunk as Logan crawled his way up behind Carlos and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his head on the Latino's shoulder, "Carlos? Please tell me what's wrong." Logan's voice was soft and pleading and it almost broke Carlos' heart hearing it.
Carlos clung tighter to the pillow as Logan's breath ghosted over the shell of the other's ear, "It's nothing. I'm fine." he said through clenched teeth as he fought against his need to turn around and hold Logan close.
"Carlos, please?" Logan pressed his lips to Carlos' ear and the latter let out a shaky breath, shaking his head. Logan huffed and removed his arms from around the boy and climbed of the bed.
Part of Carlos was relieved that he was gone, but the other part wanted desperately for him to came back and just hold him. The latter nearly jumped with joy when Logan removed the pillow from Carlos' grasp and filled the vacant spot with his own body. He wrapped his arms tightly around Carlos and pulled him into his chest. Carlos tensed at first, but soon relaxed as Logan ran his hand soothingly up and down the Latino's back.
Logan hushed him lightly as Carlos' body began to shake with soft sobs, "It's okay, Carlos. I'm right here, you're okay." he whispered repeatively into the shaking boy's ear.
When Carlos' managed to calm down, he pulled away from Logan's chest and blushed when he saw the stains he left on Logan's light blue t-shirt. He looked up to apologize, but it died on his lips when Logan just smiled and shook his head in dismissal. Logan ran his hands through the Latino's short hair and wiped away the remaining tears on his face, "Gonna tell me what's wrong?" he asked hopefully.
Carlos frowned and averted his eyes so he was staring at the collar of Logan's ruined shirt, "You're going to laugh at me, and probably hate me."
Logan placed his fingers under Carlos' chin and raised his face so he could look down in to the Latino's watery dark eyes. "I would never hate you, Carlos. And I promise, I won't laugh." he spoke softly and smiled reassuringly when Carlos raised a doubtful eyebrow.
The Latino blushed harder and started at Logan's hairline to avoid the disgust in Logan's eyes as he took the plunge, "I-I haven't been sleeping lately, like at all. And-and I think it's cause-No, I know it's cause-Well-I just want to be in your arms. I-I just want you to hold me. I have never slept as well as I did when I was in your arms and now I can't seem to sleep if you're not holding me. I-I love you, Logan. I have for a while, but I didn't want to mess anything up and then you had to go and take care of me and hold me and now I can't sleep!" Carlos' voice started to raise a little as he got to the end and he quickly dropped his head, cursing himself for being such an emotional girl.
"Carlos," Logan called softly, but Carlos kept his head down, "Carlos, look at me." he cupped the Latino's cheek and raised his head so he could see him clearly. Carlos was taken back when he was met by Logan's smiling face and his sparkling eyes, "I love you, too." he said simply and captured Carlos' lips in a soft kiss.
Carlos instantly melted into Logan as Logan pulled his body closer to his own. When they pulled away, Logan smiled as he watched Carlos' eye flutter closed, "Get some sleep." Carlos' eyes widened in alarm and Logan just kissed his head and squeezed to boy tighter, "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. I'll hold you as long as you want me to. You just need to sleep, I don't need my boyfriend getting sick again." Carlos smiled brightly at the word and pressed his lips to Logan's one more time, before snuggling into the warm body and falling into a blissful sleep.
Honestly, Logan was glad Carlos wanted him to hold him, he himself was having trouble sleeping wanting to be near and hold a warm body, pillows got cold real fast. Logan fell asleep soon after Carlos with a smile playing on his lips, trying to figure out how to get James to switch rooms with him.