Author's Notes: Another fic written for hetalia_kink, the prompt: "Sweden has an affair with someone and Finland comes home one day and catches them in the act. Then followed by a annnnngsty argument of some sort regarding said affair. I want to see some tears and shouting matches or whatever for our "happy couple". The person whom Sweden has an affair with can be anyone, but I'd particularly like Norway or Latvia. I have no idea why.". However, this whole idea has kind of grown much beyond what it was originally meant to be. Oops. Named after from the Anne Sexton of the same title.

Again and Again and Again

Chapter 1

He's home early and he knows it. He gently places his recently-bought groceries down on the table, looking towards the fridge apprehensive – he knows there is no way it's all going to fit, but for the love of god he's going to try. Finland's half-way there when he starts paying attention to the noises.

Thump. Thump.

"Aa-aah," comes a hushed moan. The voice sounds shaky, almost on the edge of tears. The back of Finland's neck prickles, like it's found something familiar–

Oh god, that shuddering and shaking sounds like – like Raivis. Latvia.

Sealand's friend.

Finland tries to reassure himself; to not panic. It's probably not him. Everyone's voice gets shaky in the middle of sex. If they're even having sex; maybe you're misinterpreting something completely innocent. Maybe Raivis isn't with Peter, right? He'd be too scared to have sex where he lives, with Russia watching over him and everything. Maybe he just used the house of whoever he knew wouldn't kill him for it. And besides, Sealand's not twelve anymore – he's almost fifteen! Not the ideal age, but not completely...

He should be listening to all that. But his instinct says poor Peter is just a child, and he should go get his rifle and snipe anyone who would touch him. No matter how young and sweet and claimed by a deranged maniac.

"Mmm, ah-ah-ah," comes the voice again, and Finland blanches. That's definitely Raivis. He tries to make himself not panic again, when something else prickles at the back of his mind.

Latvia's voice is the only one he can hear. And Finland somehow doesn't think he'd bother being here if he'd only get caught alone. In Finland's experience, very few people are capable of remaining completely silent throughout sex – in fact, the only one he knows is the man he's never quite managed to make scream no matter how long they've been together; his very own husband...

Finland shakes the thought away. Don't be ridiculous! he tells himself. Raivis knows you; he wouldn't do that to you – to Sealand! He's a good boy, he doesn't run around having sex with people's significant others.

With an embarrassed (and rather nauseous feeling), Finland starts for the stairs. He doesn't want to have to see anything, but if his son is being taken advantage of he has to intervene. Even though Peter will probably not be pleased. The trials of parenthood.

As he goes up, the moaning and gasping gets louder. "Oh-oh, p-p-please, h-harder," the voice whispers – it's definitely Raivis, and clearly there's someone with him. Finland steels himself and puts on his Iron Father face.

He can't help but listen closer, for another voice. Something that would tell him who exactly Latvia is with. Sealand. It has to be Sealand, he tells himself, but all he hears are the tiniest grunts and thumps against the wall – like he's heard before, again and again and again...

Don't think that. Don't even think it. Sweden would never.

"Y-yes, there," comes a moan as Finland waits outside the door. "I w-w-want you so bad, oh god..."

It makes Finland want to throw up, but it also makes him want to smile. Young love and all that.

One he's stopped Raivis taking advantage of his son, and made handy use of his sniper rifle until the boy never will again.

He swings the door open. Latvia makes a panicked noise. Once Finland gets inside, he freezes altogether.

"...Oh god."

Because suddenly, everything he was denying thinking hits him at full force. There is Sweden, his husband, and he is holding Latvia against the wall with the boy's legs wrapped around his waist, and they're both flushed, naked and sweaty, and Finland knows exactly what was happening bow and he truly is about to be sick.

He stares at Sweden. Sweden stares at him. Latvia whimpers vaguely until Sweden pulls out and lets him down from the wall.

There is more staring.

"...Finl'nd," says Sweden eventually, slightly out of breath.

"Sweden," says Finland. "...I thought I heard something."

Sweden just keeps staring, mouth gaping open slightly, and Finland can't stand this. He can't stay in this room with their nakedness and the reeking scent of sex. He shakes his head and starts to walk out of the room. He doesn't truly know where he's going, but Sweden follows him anyway.

"Finl'nd, wait!"

He turns around. "Really? Is that what I'm meant to do?" he asks. "Just wait around in that little room while and you and your..."

Sweden looks pained. Good. He should be hurting. "Finl'nd, I didn't mean to..."

"What? You slipped and... your cock just sort of wound up inside him?" Tino asks. Sweden sighs sadly, and Finland can't help but laugh. "God, Sweden, how old is he? Seventeen? You're sick."

"'S perfectly legal," says Sweden, and yes Finland knows. "'N we're all nations."

"Stop," he says. "God, I can't – I can't even look at you."

"Y' were never meant to f'nd out."

"Is that meant to make it better? It doesn't."

"'M sorry–"

"Who cares?" Finland yells. "That – do you think all of this is just going to... go away because you're sorry? That I'm going to not know that you had... and dear god, Su-san, what about Sealand? Raivis is his best friend; you think he'll handle it well when he realizes the boy is spreading his legs for his dad, of all people?"

"Mr-Mr. Finland?"

Finland blinks at a second voice chiming into the conversation. Latvia is now waiting in the doorway, clothes hastily thrown on. He's shaking even more than usual, looking like he's about to faint or vomit. It does a little to ease Finland's gnawing hate for the boy and need to see him suffer, but not enough. Raivis hesitantly meets his eye.

"I-It's not all Mr. Sweden's fault, Finland," he says, hesitantly stepping forward. "I-It was more my idea than his. I – I just – I really am sorry, Mr. Finland, but that first time–"

"First time?" Finland latches onto, in disbelief. Oh god no. "You mean this has happened before?"

There's a pause, and Latvia and Sweden share an uncomfortable look before slowly, hesitantly Latvia nods. Sweden just avoids his eyes. Coward.

Finland smothers a sob. "When?" he asks. "How long has this been going on? God – how many times?"

"Couple o' weeks," says Sweden. "Three or four t'mes. F'nland–"

"Stop!" says Finland as Sweden tries to reach for him, making Latvia jump back. "Don't touch me like you can..."

He can't finish his sentence, and Sweden sighs sadly. He looks ashamed.

Latvia is recoiling from the scene, doing up the last of his buttons and smoothing down his hair. "I-I should go."

"Yes," says Finland, "Get out of my house, you slut."

"Finl'nd–" Sweden looks concerned, and Latvia looks like he's about to cry. Finland snorts in disbelief.

"What? He screwed my husband, and I'm meant to invite him in for tea and cake, tell him what a good, well-meaning boy he is, who just made a bad mistake? No. I'll talk to him how I like and I want him out of here!"

"Y-Yeah, I'll – I'll go." Latvia starts scrambling down the stairs, headed to the door. "But – I-I really am sorry, Mr. Finland. P-please don't tell Peter?"

That sick feeling in Finland's stomach churns at the reminder of his son, and how he relates to all this. "Get out," he says.

Latvia does so, and soon Sweden and Finland are left alone, staring at each other with tears in their eyes.


"Stop; how many times do I have to say it? I don't want to hear any explanation you could give me."

"Just pl'se l'sten–"

"Why should I?" asks Finland. "What could you possibly say to me that would make me forgive you? That would make all this okay."

Sweden can't answer. They just stare at each other, darkly, until Finland breaks eye contact with a sad smile.

"Well, there you go," he says. "Sweden, go – get some clothes on. Then I... Then I need to go pack."

"Pack?" Sweden's whole body posture stiffens; he seems shocked.

"I can't stay here," says Finland, shaking his head. "At least not for now. I'll wait until Sealand gets home, but... it might be best if he comes with me, after all."

Sweden cringes. "Pl'se don't tell 'im."

In a moment of irrational compassion, Finland says "I won't."

After that, there's just an awkward silence. "Go, Sweden. I told you what to do."

Sweden sighs and steps back into the bedroom, swing the door closed behind him. As soon as he's out of eyesight, Finland starts running for the bathroom.