Oops, I SanUso'd. Or in this case, I guess it's more like UsoSan. Whether it ends up being one-sided or not, I'll let the reader decide.


Paper Moon: What Are You Going To Do With Me (requested by ichigootaku on tumblr)

"There's been something I've been meaning to ask you/ For at least over a month and a half now/ But I have to say I'm a little bit shy (just a little bit shy) / There's something I've been wanting to question/ But I'm mostly too scared to mention..."


Sitting at the dining table with an array of springs and bolts and other unidentifiable gadgetry spread before him, Usopp fights to keep his eyes on his work and off the cook who's bustling happily about the kitchen, humming to himself as he peers judgmentally into the cluster of pots sitting on the stove.

Sanji always looks so happy when he's making food for everybody, even though he complains all the time about feeding Luffy's big mouth.

The sniper bites back a sigh- and chokes, accidentally jabbing himself in the thumb with a screw, because his nakama's just stooped to check the oven, resulting in his well-tailored suit pants being pulled snug across his rear.

Oh my god. Flustered, he quickly averts his eyes. Knock it off, you dummy; if he catches you staring, he's gonna kick your ass or give your dinner to Luffy or worse, he might just stop talking to you.

He's not entirely sure when his admiration and respect for his fellow Straw Hat pirate starting turning into something more or when Kaya's delicate face started getting fuzzy in his memories, replaced by a blond with much shorter hair and an ever-present cigarette dangling from one corner of his mouth.

His. HIS. I don't understand- I thought I liked GIRLS.

Sanji is everything Kaya is not. Male, quick-tempered, loud-mouthed, prone to violence.

And he definitely likes girls, Usopp thinks mournfully, unaware that his eyes have been drawn back to where the cook's now dicing leeks with quick efficiency. I'd say that's pretty damn obvious, considering how he tripped all over himself when he saw Nami and Robin again for the first time after the crew got back together.

It's just his luck, falling for another person who's completely beyond his reach. Only this time it's not his lack of wealth and social standing that's barring him, but his-

"-sopp. Oi, Usopp."

Startled from his morose reverie, the sniper's horrified to realize that the unlikely object of his affection's standing before him, one hand cupped beneath the spoon that's being proffered a few inches from the tip of his nose.

"You in there, or you falling asleep on me? Do me a favor and try this."


"Usopp, what the hell's going on? You've been sitting here staring into space for the last hour." The cook's now frowning, the portion of brow visible beneath his bangs furrowing slightly in concern. "There something wrong?"

I am a brave warrior of the sea.

"S-Sanji, there's- uh- something I need to ask you. Do you think you'd ever-"