Are you tired of waiting for your favorite authors to update? Are you always complaining because they didn't finish a story they started? Are your family and friends, no longer your family and friends, because you wouldn't shut up about updates?
Well have no fear, poor stupid gullible earthling; the makers of the Butter Stick and the chopsticks give you The Force Update. The Force Update is a little bug that goes into your favorite author's computer. The bug wouldn't let them use their computer for Facebook, Youtube, Myspace (if they haven't migrated to Facebook), Twitter, school, or work, until they update. Because obviously your enjoyment is more import then them having a life.
When you get your Force Update, just put into your disc drive and it will go on a magical journey across the internet to your favorite author's computer. Somehow it knows what computer to attack. Seriously don't question it.
Got a favorite color? Well you can order The Force Update in several different amazing colors: ocean, sky, indigo, robin's egg, aqua, smurf, Avatar, periwinkle, royal, aqua, depressed, navy, indigo, teal, turquoise, beryl, is anybody reading these, lake, water-pigment, between green and violet sky, azure, did ya notice the repeat, the color in the American flag that's not red or white, the primary color that's not red or yellow, it's a boy, the eye color of the master race, bluebonnet, suffocated person, bruise, the color of Sonic the Hedgehog, blueberry, blue M&M, Cinderella's dress, sad person, and for a limited time only…. BLUE!
In addition to coming in amazing colors, The Force Update also can force the writer to put your favorite pairing into the story. Even if that pairing involves your "original" character based off yourself. Because everybody knows Edward wants to be with you instead of Bella.
Just listen to some of happy costumers:
"I married Jack Sparrow in a Fanfic!"
"What the hell is wrong with my computer!"
"Yay more updates!"
"THAT STUPID BUG GOT ME FIRED!"
"I'm loving all the updates."
"I miss my life."
"No more cliffhangers."
"Why are people so demanding?"
"Now I don't have to wait for the writer to get six more reviews."
"Seriously I need to turn something in on ."
"Forcing people to write, instead of actually writing something, is awesome!"
"Why the hell does this person want to marry Donkey Kong?"
So, what are you waiting for? You know, you want to force other people to write, instead of writing your own stories. Order The Force Update, by calling 1-800-Safe-Auto, and if you call in the next three and a half seconds we will add in a free shovel.
Warning: The Force Update will not work if the writer is Chuck Norris.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. And thank you for taking the time to read my little author note right here. This story is dedicated to my good buddy on Fanfiction, –Keyblade –Bearer.
Now go on and click the pretty button at the bottom of the screen that says review. I would like to have some feedback. And please don't use a Force Update on me.