Disclaimer-I don't own Glee
Summary: 'Please don't do this.' I sobbed brokenly. His eyes screamed a thousand apologies while cruel laughter rang around the room. That night, I cried the whole way home.
This fic will be told in three parts
The sound of my footsteps echoed as I padded out of the shower stall in the boys' locker room of William McKinley High School. Sometime during my shower after gym class, those mindless jocks stole my clothes and hid them in various places about the locker room. It was only once I was sure they were all gone that I dared to emerge from the shower stall. Wrapping my towel around my hips, that are not at all pear shaped thank you very much Sue Sylvester, I began the hunt for my hidden clothing.
Locating my beloved designer labels wasn't too difficult a task. Those brainless Neanderthals have pulled this stunt so many times and always use the same hiding spots. I'm almost offended by their lack of originality when it comes to their bullying pranks. I sometimes wonder if they're even putting in any real effort.
Finding my clothing, thankfully un-ruined, I dried off and dressed, singing to myself without fear of ridicule or attack from the other boys now that I was alone. After tidying up after myself, I collected my bag from my locker and secured it on my shoulder. Head held high, I exited the changing rooms and walked easily through the empty school corridors.
Perhaps most students would find it eerie to walk about the school when it was quiet and deserted, but I hadn't been one of them for a long time. The first time I was forced to wait behind after school hours searching for my clothing, it had been unnerving to walk down the hallways with only the sound of my breath and footsteps for company. But after being forced into such a position many times over, I fast grew accustomed to passing through the school building on my solitary. In some ways, I actually preferred being in the school by myself. At least I didn't have to tense at every corner wondering what would be waiting for me. During school hours when the jocks rule the place, I'm constantly on edge as I await my next attack. Sometimes it's a locker shove or a slushie. Other times its homophobic slurs or other unimaginative insults conjured up with their limited vocabulary.
Passing through the main double doors, I shivered a little as the cool evening air bit into my skin. My hair was still a little damp from my shower and that added to the chill. Moving towards the parking-lot, I took out my car keys. Sometimes, I questioned why the jocks never attempted to damage my super gorgeous car. I supposed they had intelligence enough to appreciate such a fine vehicle and didn't have the heart to tarnish it.
Opening my car door, I slipped inside and placed my bag on the passenger seat beside me. Starting up the engine, I neatly drove out of the school gates. The school was never locked up at night for some reason. Possibly because Figgins' couldn't afford to pay for any form of security. Not that it really mattered; nobody was lame enough to break into McKinley. There simply wasn't anything worthy stealing.
Arriving home, I said a quick hello to my dad, putting on a smile as I fed him a lie of how I'd had a good day at school. It may not have been the worst school day ever, but it hadn't been too good either. There had been no Glee rehearsal to cheer me up and Mercedes was off sick meaning I sat alone for most of my lessons. Still, it was the end of the school week and I had no homework that needed completing, so not everything in life was as tragic as Rachel Berry's fashion sense.
Saturday morning went by without much incident. I was helping dad out in the shop, getting my hands dirty with oil as I aided him in fixing up cars. It was the only 'masculine' activity I truly enjoyed and it was something me and dad could bond over. As accepting as he was of my sexuality, it did create a wide barrier between us. Although I liked to consider us as being 'close', I couldn't deny that we lived in very different worlds where common ground was difficult to find.
There are times when I truly wished I could be more like other teenage boys. I'm not saying I wish I was straight, the mere thought of that is nauseating. No offence, my best friends are girls, but vaginas and boobs… disgusting. Of course, I've nothing against lesbian or straight couples but it simply isn't for me. My cock, yes, I do have one despite the fact I apparently walk like a woman, gets hard for men and men only. I just wish I could perhaps be interested in sports or Deadliest Catch or Mellencamp. However, I suppose I do fall in to the stereotypical gay boy category. Though I like to think that I, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, am one of a kind, somebody so unique I can't be labelled or compared to others.
That Saturday evening, I fully intended to lounge comfortably in my basement and watch all my favourite musicals. My plans were thwarted by demands for me to attend a party. Everyone else in Glee had, minus Mercedes who was still ill, agreed to attend so I supposed it wouldn't be too terrible. I would at least have people to talk to and hopefully to save me from any hassle the jocks might give me.
Selecting an outfit, something that looked good but wasn't too expensive or valuable so it wouldn't be so devastating if it was ruined, I asked myself why I had agreed to this party as I was sure it would turn out to be a stupid idea. Heading upstairs, I told my dad I was going to Mercedes' house. The way he smiled and believed me so easily made my intestines knot with guilt but I forced a smile in return before leaving.
Finding the house wasn't difficult. The music could be heard two blocks away and a large line of cars was parked all up the road. I found myself a spot but remained in the safety of my baby. Looking towards the house where the party was taking place, I seriously considered just turning the car around and going home. I probably would have done if it wasn't for the honking sound of another car driving by and parking up. Watching the car in my rear view mirror, I recognised the faces of Brittany, Quinn and Santana.
The three girls exited the car, all looking gorgeous in their different ways. Quinn had a more innocent beauty, Brittany had a mystical allure about her while everything about Santana just screamed sex. As the three walked along the path together, they paused at my car and Santana pulled the door open before yanking me out by my arm.
"It's a party, Hummel." She told me in that bitchy tone of hers. "Pull the stick out of your ass and enjoy yourself."
Rolling my eyes, I followed her lead up to the house, Quinn looping her arm through mine and Brittany trailing behind us, eyes on my ass no doubt trying to fathom out how I could keep a stick up there. I didn't bother explaining to her that Santana's words were merely a joking figure of speech; it would only confuse Brittany more. She was a sweet girl, and though she could memorise dance routines faster than anyone I knew, she couldn't boast about being the most intellectual individual.
"Where are the others?" I asked referring to the rest of the Glee Club members as we reached the garden.
"Berry and Tina are on their way." Santana answered. "The guys are already here."
"Apart from Artie, he dropped out at the last minute." Quinn explained and Kurt strongly wished he had dropped out too. "Relax Kurt, it's just a party."
"Right, party." Kurt repeated trying to act calm.
Santana pushed open the front door and waited just inside for a few seconds so she could take Brittany's hand. She then led the blonde further into the house and the two were soon lost from my line of vision. They were probably gulping down drinks and grinding against one another in a semblance of sex and dance.
Holding tight to Quinn, I allowed her to steer me through the house. Every second I expected somebody to grab me by the scruff of the neck and throw me out. It didn't happen and I wasn't too sure whether to be thankful for that or not.
Seeing members of the football and hockey teams, regular bullies of mine, I felt a slight sense of panic but it seemed they were too drunk or having too much fun to bother with harassing me.
Somebody holding a tray of drinks stopped in front of us but Quinn declined the offer and dragged me even deeper through the mass of bodies. She pulled me into a corner of the living-room to join Finn, Mike and Sam. I'd never been more relieved to see the three boys, confident that there was enough muscle between them to protect me if need be. Though I would grudgingly admit that I'd feel even safer if Puck was around but the mohawked boy wasn't in sight. He was probably up in one of the bedrooms with a girl, maybe even two.
Releasing my arm, Quinn moved to stand close to Sam, their bodies pressed together as they had a conversation, shouting into one another's ears to be heard above the music. Leaning against the wall, I tried to look calm and comfortable rather than intimidated and out of place. It was a look I'd mastered over the years so I'm sure I pulled it off. Mike offered me some of his drink but I shook my head no. Last time I touched alcohol I puked all over Miss Pillsbury's beautiful shoes, I certainly didn't want a repeat performance. Of course, it wouldn't be her shoes I puked on this time. Knowing my luck it would be Santana's and then she'd massacre me.
A little later, Rachel and Tina fought their way through the crowd and joined us in our corner. Almost immediately, Tina pulled Mike away to dance and Rachel and Finn were soon moving away too. Having nobody to talk to or dance with, I quickly became bored but I wasn't willing to move from the corner I was occupying with Quinn and Sam.
Pulling my phone out and checking the time, I realised I'd only been standing here for just over ten minutes. It had felt a lot longer since I was doing nothing but standing in a corner and looking pretty. Turning my head, I planned to tell Quinn that I was going to head home but I caught sight of the two blondes exchanging open-mouthed kisses. Feeling uncomfortable, I pointedly looked away. By the time I brought myself to glance back, I found that the two had wandered away into the throng of dancing couples leaving me on my own.
Even if Mercedes or Artie had been here, I'm sure the party would have still been unbearable but at least I wouldn't have been so alone. Casting one last look around the room, I pushed away from the wall and ducked and weaved my way through my drunken peers.
Before I could escape the living-room, a strong hand gripped my wrist and pulled me down onto the couch. Wrenching my arm back, I turned to find a drunken Puck smirking at me. He handed me a bottle and I accepted it but made no effort to take a sip. He had a can himself and took a long gulp, seemingly uncaring about the couple making out next to him.
Having nothing better to do, I shrugged and took a tentative sip of my drink. I pulled a face as the liquid burned my throat; it was much stronger than what I had been anticipating. Puck laughed at the expression on my face and I shot him a glare before making an attempt to down the rest of the bottle just to shut him up. It didn't work too well. Most of it missed my mouth and trickled down my chin and onto my shirt and some spluttered out of my nose. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I was embarrassed to realise I'd only really managed a few mouthfuls.
Downing the rest of his can then crushing it in his hand and throwing it over the heads of the people partying near by, Puck turned to me with an odd look in his eyes. I raised my eyebrow at him in question but he wasn't giving me any answers. I gulped down another helping of my drink, once again pulling a face at the less than desirable taste.
Setting what was left in the bottle on the floor, I leaned in to Puck to tell him I was leaving. I stood up and felt his hands on my waist as he stood up with me. He pulled me to him and before I realised what was happening we were dancing together. It was strange and I found it hard to believe it was actually real. Looking around me, I expected somebody to break us apart and yell something homophobic but it didn't happen.
While dancing, though not very enthusiastically on my part, I caught eyes with Tina who was wrapped around Mike as they danced. She giggled a little at me and Puck before giving me the thumbs up sign. I merely rolled my eyes in response before another pair of drunken dancing teens stumbled around, blocking Tina from my vision.
The song changed and I couldn't help but perk up as I recognised the Lady Gaga song. Singing along to the words, I threw my arms around Puck's neck and danced with more gusto than I had with the previous song.
"That's more like it." Puck yelled with a laugh as he rocked his hips against mine.
Knowing that Puck was drunk, I briefly wondered what he'd do if he remembered this in the morning. He might beat the fashion out of me for it but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I was actually quite enjoying myself. I loved the song and it was my first experience of dancing with another guy and that guy was Puck who, it pains me to admit it, is incredibly and drool worthy hot.
The way he was moving against me was beginning to have a physical affect. If it wasn't for the fact that I could clearly feel Puck growing hard too, I'd have run away in fear and embarrassment. But Puck was getting turned on as well so I just went along with it, pressing against him urgently, desperate for more of that delightful friction.
I was disappointed for the song to end but decided it was probably a good thing. If I continued rubbing against Puck for much longer I'd no doubt erupt and I was wearing a perfectly good pair of underwear, it wouldn't do to stain them.
Pulling my arms away from Puck, I turned and stepped away. He followed, taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. He grabbed two random plastic cups from the counter and handed me one. I wrinkled my nose as I looked in at the contents but followed his example and downed it as best as I could.
Suddenly, Puck was standing much closer to me and his erection was poking me in the hip. He ducked his head and buried his face in my neck, gently nipping at the flesh. I gasped in surprise. Dancing together was one crazy thing but having Puck nuzzle my neck was quite another. I pushed him away, immediately missing the contact but trying to ignore that fact.
"Goodnight Puck, I'm going home." I informed him, shouting to be heard.
I turned away from him, pushing past people who clearly couldn't handle their drink and made my way to the front door. Once again, I felt a hand take hold of me but this time when I spun round I was not met with a friendly face.
"Where do you think you're going, faggot?" Karofsky asked me with a sneer.
"Get off me." I retorted trying to pull back but the grip he had on me was too strong and painfully tight. "I said let go." I snapped at him looking around desperately for someone who could help.
I could see Rachel, I yelled out her name but of course she couldn't hear me. I struggled in Karofsky's grip waving my free arm about wildly hoping to get her attention, but her eyes were closed as she danced and sang along to the music, Finn right by her but he was looking in the opposite direction.
Karofsky dragged me towards the stairs. I gripped hold of the banister trying desperately to get away from him but it didn't work. There were plenty of people around, but none of them were paying attention. They were all lost in their own drunken worlds. He grabbed me about the waist then slung me over his shoulder. I punched kicked and screamed against him and it almost caused him to fall down the stairs but he regained his balance. Then, I saw Puck and his eyes met with mine. Somewhat sluggishly, he battled his way through the sweaty drunks around him making his way to the stairs.
As Karofsky carried me into a room and threw me down on the bed, I tried to keep calm knowing that Puck was on his way. Everything would be fine just as soon as Puck found us. Until that time, I just had to do my best to distract Karofsky from whatever it was he was planning to do. Maybe I'd have to take a punch or two, but it shouldn't take Puck too long to burst in and rescue me. Normally, I despise the idea of being a damsel in distress in need of a handsome knight to save me, I'm a man after all, I should be able to defend myself, but in this situation my pride could go and shop at the Gap while I waited for Puck to play the role of hero.
"You have any idea what you do to me, Hummel?" Karofsky asked slurring his words. Clearly he'd been drinking heavily too. "The way you strut around in those tight jeans, wiggling that firm little ass, you're just begging for cock you dirty slut."
Hearing his words made my insides fill with ice. He lunged towards the bed and I scrambled away, heading for the door but he caught my ankle. I fell hard on the floor and he dragged me back towards the bed. I yelped as the carpet burned my hands before I was shoved back onto the bed, Karofsky atop of me.
"Get off me!" I screeched uselessly flaying against Karofsky's weight wondering where the hell Puck was.
"Don't act like you don't want it." Karofsky jeered. "You're the school queer. You make sure everyone knows it, walking around with your head held high, rubbing your gayness in everyone's faces. You were born to take cock, Hummel, and tonight cock is what you're gonna get."
The door flew open and I almost sobbed with relief as Puck staggered into view. He stumbled towards the bed and placed a hand on Karofsky's shoulder, glaring darkly at him.
"Don't touch what you can't afford, Karofsky." Puck said.
As Puck grabbed hold of Karofsky and forced my bully off of me, I almost felt like exclaiming, 'my hero' like in all the old movies but my relief was short lived. When Puck hauled Karofsky off of me, he overbalanced and fell flat on his back, Karofsky landing on top of him. The two grappled with each other for a while and I wasn't sure what to do. Before I could make a decision, the door slammed shut and I looked to find Azimio and another large guy off the football team.
They both joined the fray and delivered a few hits and kicks to Puck. Moving off the bed, I rushed towards them trying to help but I already knew it was pointless. It was humiliating how easily they tossed me back onto the bed. Although I watched Puck fight back a little, I knew there was no way he could win, he was outnumbered. As I watched Puck be thrown across the room, his head colliding with the wall, I accepted that I wasn't getting out of this room without some serious pain.
The three jocks grinned cruelly at me, their teeth reminding me of a swarm of sharks and it made me feel like a pathetic tiny fish with no means of defence. Hands were on me, pinning me down while Karofsky straddled me and ripped open my shirt. Glaring up at him, I spat in his face earning myself a sharp punch to my jaw. Even though I knew there was no chance of getting away from the three larger and stronger teens, I never stopped struggling. I was a Hummel; they couldn't push me around without getting some form of resistance.
My lips were being mauled by Karofsky's and I squeaked in protest as I turned my head away thereby breaking the unwanted kiss. He grasped my throat and forced my face back round so he could reach my lips. I still struggled but it only caused him to squeeze my throat tighter.
Part of me hoped I would fall unconscious just so I wouldn't have to experience what was going to happen, but as Karofsky forced his kisses, which I refused to return, the pressure on my throat eased off and I had no choice but to consciously live through the ordeal. The oaf's lips moved down to bite savagely at my throat before he moved down my bare chest, making one of my nipples bleed and the other ache painfully.
I continued to scream through it, still trying to fight them off but refusing to shed the tears that burned to leak from my eyes.
"Stop struggling and just enjoy it, fag." Azimio snarled at me.
I shot him a hateful glare. He was a homophobe; everyone knew he was, so I really couldn't understand why he was here watching as Karofsky abused me. It was clear that Karofsky was a closet case but Azimio definitely wasn't into guys and I had no idea about the other footballer whose name I didn't know.
"I'm not the only gay in this room." I dared to say. "Why don't you pin your good buddy Karofsky down and beat him up? He's gay, just like me."
"Shut it you queer." Karofsky growled and his fist collided with my cheek.
"Hey," Puck's voice croaked out as he regained consciousness and pulled himself up to a standing position. "You'd better get your hands off him."
Azimio crossed the room to meet Puck, punching him in the face before shoving him towards the large bed I was sprawled upon. The nameless blonde jock helped Azimio keep Puck pinned down while Karofsky yanked my jeans and underwear down my legs. I tried to scramble away but before I could even move an inch I was flipped onto my stomach and Karofsky's hand came down on my ass making me cry out. I heard the other two boys laughing and could feel my cheeks flame in humiliation.
"You sick fuckers, don't you dare touch him!" Puck seethed still trying to fight against the two holding him down.
"What's the matter Puckerman?" Azimio asked with mock concern. "Did you want Hummel's ass for yourself?"
Puck didn't answer and I turned my head to look at him but I couldn't make out his face.
"Shit, you do, don't you. You're a dirty fag as well aren't you, Puckerman." Azimio said. "Well, if you want Hummel so much, have him. Rape that little queer's ass."
For a moment, I almost stopped breathing as my heart thudded against my chest. Despite the fact Karofsky had been kissing, biting and touching me, I hadn't allowed myself to even think of the word 'rape' but now that Azimio had said it my insides filled with dread. I still fought against the tears that threatened to fall, desperately hoping for someone to enter the room and get me out of this mess.
"What's the matter, Puck?" Azimio asked. "Too shy to perform with an audience?"
"You sick fuck's, I'm not raping him." Puck whispered.
"Either you do it Puckerman," Azimio said. "Or Dave will and I can promise you that Dave won't be gentle."
The blonde guy laughed and I felt like I might vomit. I closed my eyes hoping that none of this was real, that I was merely trapped in a nightmare and would wake up safe in my bed. Of course, as much as I wanted to wake up safe and sound I knew it wouldn't happen. I knew this situation was far too real.
"What's it gonna be Puckerman?" Karofsky asked. "You gonna rape Hummel or shall I do the honours?"
"No!" I yelled renewing my fight and somehow managing to twist round onto my back again. "No, you're not touching me, nobody's touching me!"
A blinding pain of agony attacked me as Karofsky punched my nose and blood journeyed down my skin, trailing towards my mouth, past my chin and down my neck.
"Oh yeah, keep squirming Hummel." Karofsky laughed. "I bet you want me to fuck you don't ya, you little bitch?"
"No, get off, you're disgusting! Help! Somebody help!" I yelled at the top of my lungs but nobody answered my cries of distress. Not that I expected them too, the music was booming so loud that I could hardly hear the sound of my own yells.
"Do it Dave, fuck the fag." The blonde jock encouraged.
"No!" Puck yelled out. "Not him. Me."
Karofsky moved off my waist but still pinned my arms down so I couldn't get away while Azimio ripped off Puck's trousers.
"Go ahead, Puckerman." Azimio said. "Fuck the queer virgin's ass."
I still made an effort to get away, even biting at Karofsky's arm but it only earned me another punch, this one to my stomach. My legs were pulled apart and I felt the warmth of Puck's body spread over mine. His hand moved between my legs to prepare me but one of the others slapped his hand away.
"None of that," Karofsky said. "This is a rape remember." The three laughed and Puck looked incredibly ill.
His hands moved up to my face, cradling my head gently as he lined his cock up with my hole. I whimpered, still trying to fight what I knew what was going to happen.
"Please don't do this." I sobbed brokenly.
I let out a high scream as Puck entered me without warning. It felt like I was being ripped open and I was sure that if I wasn't bleeding already then I would be soon enough. I made to scream again but Karofsky covered my mouth with his large hand, silencing my pained cries.
Meeting Puck's face, I could see tears clinging to his eyelashes. His eyesscreamed a thousand apologies while cruel laughter rang around the room. With tears falling freely down my cheeks, there was nothing I could do to prevent what was happening, to save what was brutally being stolen from me.
"Don't be such a girl, Hummel." Karofsky sneered in my ear. "Just fucking take it."
"I'm sorry." Puck sobbed as he slowly pulled out of me before easing his way back in. "Shit man, I'm so sorry."
My body was experiencing too much pain to really concentrate on Puck's choked out apologies. I couldn't even begin to imagine what was going on in his head. For me, all I could think about was what I was being subjected to. There was no other word for it, I didn't want this to happen, and I was not a willing body. My virginity was being ripped away from me in front of an audience of laughing jocks. I was being raped by Noah Puckerman, my fellow Glee mate, my almost friend, the first boy I ever danced with, someone who used to throw me into dumpsters and all I could do was cry as he continued to thrust in and out of me, my passage eased by my own blood.
For some reason, I couldn't close my eyes and pretend I was somewhere else. My eyes remained open, stubbornly looking into Puck's face as he tore something so precious away from me. He was biting on his lip, a guilty expression on his face as he fought not to moan. The feeling of sickness intensified in my stomach as I realised Puck was getting pleasure from this.
"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry." Puck told me before his body spasmed above me and he spilled himself inside of my abused hole.
There was no orgasm for me. I wasn't even sporting a hard-on. There had been too much pain for me to feel pleasure. Slowly, Puck pulled out of me and I screamed into Karofsky's hand. Having him pull out hurt nearly as much as it had when he'd entered me.
"Let him go now." Puck demanded but Azimio only laughed before punching him in the face and then him and the blonde held him down on the bed again so that his face was turned towards me.
"Keep watching, Puckerman." Karofsky hissed before he pulled his cock out and rammed himself inside of my already tender hole.
His hand was still over my face blocking the sound of my screams. Tears leaked from my eyes again as he slammed in and out of me. While Puck had been as gentle as he could be, Karofsky was deliberately rough, his free hand raking his blunt nails across the expanse of my skin. Casting my eyes to Puck, I found that he was screaming and crying along with me as Azimio and the blonde forced him to watch.
Finally it was over, and the three jocks left. Still crying and whispering apologies, Puck reached out to comfort me but I flinched violently at the touch. Before I could prevent it, I vomited over myself. My whole body shook and I ached all over. It took a while for my mind to process that I had just been raped twice and when the realisation hit I promptly vomited again.
"Kurt, I'm so sorry, man." I heard Puck say but I couldn't bring myself to answer just yet. "I… I'll call the police."
"Don't." I snapped at him fiercely. "Tell no-one." I ordered.
Shakily, I moved off the bed, my aching body screaming in protest as I hobbled around to pull my jeans back on. My shirt was ruined.
"Kurt please, let me help you." Puck said.
"Don't fucking touch me." I seethed.
He had already pulled his own clothes back on and I could tell my words had stung but I couldn't bring myself to care about his feelings or his trauma. Even though I knew he wasn't the bad guy in this, he was still my rapist and I was his victim. Though it had been a merciful rape, it was still a rape and I couldn't stand to have him touch me right now. I knew he only did it because he thought he'd be sparing me the touch of Karofsky, but that didn't make it ok. It didn't even surprise me that Karofsky had raped me as well but Puck had obviously believed they'd leave me alone if he did what they told him to.
"Kurt?" Puck asked and I could sense him standing close behind me. "Please don't hate me for this."
Turning round, I forced my eyes up to his. He looked awful, eyes puffy and swollen, nose running and face blotchy. I wondered how wretched I must look but didn't care to find a mirror to look upon my reflection. Part of me wanted to lash out, hit him, scream at him and yell that I hated him but I truly didn't have the energy. I could tell that he had sobered up, not that his state of sobriety meant much right now.
"I don't hate you." I managed to say and relief instantly washed over his face. "I'm… I'm… at least it was you first and not… him."
"He won't get away with this." Puck told me. "I'll get Finn, Sam and Mike and we'll fucking make all three of them pay for this."
"No, don't tell anybody." I replied quickly. "Promise me, promise you won't say or do anything."
"Kurt I…" He started but I didn't let him finish.
"I screamed out 'no' a lot of times tonight and none of them listened." I reminded him. "After what you did to me the least you can do is respect my wishes not to tell anybody about what happened tonight. Please, I can't have people know that I'm… dirty."
"But Kurt…" Puck tried but I just shook my head.
"Promise me." I asked desperately and he nodded. "Good." I replied.
Walking slowly, I left the room. Moving through the house was thankfully easy. Although the music was still blaring and plenty of people were still drinking and dancing, nobody was on the stairs and the way to the front door wasn't blocked. I hurried out into the night air, my anus still aching from my ordeal. Finding my car, I gingerly sat inside only to find that Puck was jogging after me.
Though I was desperate just to get away from him as he only served to remind me what I had been subjected to, I waited for him to catch up and made no protests when he sat down in the passenger seat. Placing my hands on the steering wheel, I waited for him to speak.
"You aren't dirty, Kurt." Puck said and his voice sounded so pained, I wondered if I sounded as bad as he did. "Tonight was… fucked up and terrible but none of it was your fault. You're still you, Kurt. Don't let anybody take that away from you."
"I feel so disgusting." I admitted. "So weak."
"Me too." Puck replied. "But believe me Kurt, you're not. You are strong and you're going to get through this."
"It really happened." I whispered as tears streamed down my face. "Oh Gaga, it really happened."
"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Puck said and I jumped as I felt his breath tickling my cheek. "I'm so sorry."
"You raped me." I replied and his face contorted unattractively at the words as he cried just as much as me, maybe even more.
"I know." Puck wiped furiously at his eyes. "Fuck, I'm sorry. But I couldn't let Karofsky be your first."
"You raped me." I repeated and he winced at my words and I'm sure we were both assaulted by the memory.
"Please forgive me?" Puck begged.
Tears still falling, I just shook my head. That simply action made him cry even harder but I couldn't forgive him.
"I can't forgive you." I said out loud. "Not yet. Please get out of my car now."
"I'm sorry." Puck said for the umpteenth time as he opened the door. "I…"
I just glared at him, effectively silencing whatever the ending to that sentence was going to be.
That night, I cried the whole way home.
To Be Continued
Love and Hugs, IceQueenRia xxx