A/N: I'm still working away on my other fic, the blood slave, but this has been running around in my brain to and so I thought I would put it out there. I'll be working on them both at the same time. I hope you enjoy- also I'm not a psycology major and have no idea about clinical therapy so forgive what I'm sure are large inaccuracies. This first part will be all from Sookie's POV, but we'll begin to change POV's when I update again :) I hope you enjoy!
"Go to you bosom: Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know" William Shakespeare
I scream out in pain. I tried, I tried so hard to hold out, to believe that Eric was coming, but it's no use. I know now with certainty that I'm going to die in this crumbling house in the middle of no where. Eric isn't coming and I can't hold on much longer.
Lochlan and Neave look at each other from over opposite sides of my body smiling as my blood drips from their mouths. I hear myself mewling in pain. I stopped pleading for my life hours ago, now I just try and prepare myself for the next onslaught. Perhaps this one will be the last, perhaps they will just get on with it, end their games, and finally rip me limb from limb. I tried to ready myself for the next cut, the next bite, the next endless round of agony when suddenly they stand away from me as though waiting for something. I want to focus on what's going on, want to hope that someone has come for me, but I'm to far gone to care, to wrapped up in the prison of my own pain to process anything but the wounds that bleed and hurt and make me want to die.
I hear voices in the background but this small reprieve from their torment allows me only to seep into the nothingness of my own head. Maybe this is my death. Maybe this is how I will end, it is preferable to drown in the darkness than to feel one more moment of pain. I embrace it now closing my eyes and calling out one last time for Eric. This time when I call his name it isn't in a plea for help, it's a farewell.
The first sense that returns to me is hearing. The sounds swirl around my darkness poking at the edges of my brain, encouraging me to swim up from the bottom of wherever I am. At first I try to ignore them, but after a while they are to intrusive to shut out.
"Poor thing, she really did it to herself this time," I hear a female voice say with an air of disbelief in her voice.
"You shouldn't blame her Evie, it's that damn day nurses fault for not making sure that she took all her meds. They aught a fire that idiot before she gets one of our patients killed." I hear a male voice say, disgust evident in his voice.
I want to just seep back down into the black void that has been eveloping me when a realization hits me hard. The voices I heard were actually speaking. When they stop, I don't hear anything else. Suddenly I feel relief flood through me. I must be with vampires then! Eric came for me! I'm alive and I'm safe. I have never felt such happiness in my entire life and I determine that the minute I see him I will tell him in no uncertain terms that I love him! That I'm sorry that I was so cold and so callous the other night. I want to know how he feels about me, I want him to know how I feel about him. I love him, and even if he isn't quite there yet, when I recover I will do everything in my power to make him love me back!
I force my eyes open so that I can tell the vamipres that I'm awake and that I want to see Eric when I'm hit by something completely unexpected, daylight. The confusion and the shock make me choke despite my dry, empty mouth.
Suddenly the bodies belonging to the two voices appear in my sight. The female voice belongs to an elderly lady with short salt and pepper hair and a kind smile, and the male voice belongs to a mountain of a man with short black hair. They both wear stark white scrubs and both look down on me with compassion in their eyes, but I am to frightened to do anything but cower away from them. When I try to move, to get out of the bed and away from them, the pain in my stomach and legs is overwhelming. I cry out, immobile and terrified.
"Susannah dear, everything is okay. It's me nurse Hensley. Everything is alright dear calm down." The lady says everything so kindly but I can't calm down. Where am I? Who are these people? Why can't I hear them? What's going on? I give her a look that must be the epitome of 'deer caught in the headlights' and try to escape from her hand which is trying to smooth the hair at my forehead.
"Who are you? Where am I?" I say settling on what I decide are the two most important questions at the moment. The woman who calls herself nurse Hensley looks at the man and they both shake their heads in what seems like pity. Nurse Hensley turns her head back to me and in her calmest most reassuring voice answers my questions.
"Susannah dear your back in the hospital. Somehow you got out last night and you ended up being attacked by an animal. You're real lucky sweetheart that the guards found you when they did or you might not have made it. Now I know you're in a lot of pain dear but I want you to try and lay back and relax okay. I'm going to let Dr. Breandan know that you're awake so he can come and see you." At the mention of Breandan I feel terrified all over again. Nothing this woman is saying makes any sense to me but I know that name and I know that I must still be being held against my will.
Out of no where I feel a surge of adrenaline shoot through me and I begin to struggle to get out of the bed, completely ignoring the pain in my body.
Without needing another moment the big man takes hold of both my arms and forces me back onto the bed. I begin to scream and scream and struggle against him. I can feel some of the stitches in my mid section ripping with the force of my struggle but I don't care. I have to get out of here! The faries are here and they will hurt me.
Suddenly I feel a sharp stab in my arm and I see the woman, nurse Hensley, holiding a needle, the point of which is now firmly in the skin of my arm. She depresses the end and I feel the liquid going in. My bodies response to whatever she gave me is instantaneous. Suddenly I feel calm, drunk almost, and unable to fight. I try to keep the cotton feeling from descending on my brain but it's no use. My arms and legs are already useless and though my brain doesn't fully shut down it becomes nothing more than dead weight in my head.
I lay there as the big man straps my arms and legs into restraints that are positioned at the head and foot of the bed, and then he leaves. The woman, nurse Hensley remains though, stroking my hair and crooning softly to me.
Jesus Christ Shepard of Judea what is going on? Where am I? Where is Eric? Why isn't he here? Oh God!
I seem to float away for what feels like hours. Never actually loosing conciousness but never able to grasp at a single coherant thought either. When the medication finally wears off a bit I feel my wits slowly returning to me. I look around the room and find that the sun has gotten low in the sky but has not set and that the woman who called herself Nurse Hensley has disapeared. A little more time goes by and I see another woman poke her head into my room. She is younger with long hair pulled back into a pony tail and the same stark white scrubs on. She notices that I'm awake and darts away without saying a word to me.
Several more minutes pass and I hear someone coming again. This time when I look up I see a beautiful man in this mid thirties, with long dark hair pulled back into a pony tail and bright almost emerald colored eyes. His expression is remote and disaproving and I find myself more scared of him than I have been of anything else since I first opened my eyes here. I look him over and see that he's wearing a white doctors coat over a dress shirt and a pair of slacks and he has a nametag on the doctor's coat: Doctor John Breandan.