Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan.

So! I wrote most of this a billion years ago, then last night the idea to finish it popped into my head. Rereading it, it seems really different from most of my other fics. Less of the EXTREME ANGST, more of the, "Oh hey, this happened." For some reason it feels like a while since I've written DC, maybe because the last proper, non-crossover non-AU thing I wrote for it was nearly a year ago, and THAT was purely Magic Kaito. Huh. When was the last time I wrote pure DC anyway, with no MK, no crossover, no AU? Over a year ago?

Inspector Megure had had enough. This was why he was currently dragging one delinquent Kudo Shinichi through Headquarters by the ear.

"Ow ow ow Inspector!" Shinichi whined. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes," was the gruff reply.

"But Inspector, I'm not feeling too good. Can't I go home and take a nap, and then we can do whatever it is you're insistent on doing later?"

"No." Finally arriving at their destination, Megure threw open the door to the small room and shoved Shinichi in. "Sit down." He closed the door and turned around to see that Shinichi had followed his instructions, albeit reluctantly. He opened the folder that had been tucked under his arm and slammed a piece of paper down on the table in front of Shinichi.

Shinichi glanced at the paper, confused. "This is a Missing Persons report."

"Yes, yes it is. Glad to see you haven't gotten rusty in your months long absence."

Shinichi winced ever so slightly. Good. Megure was angry, and didn't have time for dancing around like headless chickens bearing bad news. "I suppose you're expecting me to ask why it's been filled out with my information?" Shinichi asked resignedly.

Megure resisted the urge to growl menacingly. "Yes, I was rather wondering that! Ran-kun wants me to fill out one after you vanish, I tell her to wait. You still haven't shown up, I tell her I'll ask around and then file it if I can't get any leads. I call your parents, they don't know where you are but they say they'll ask around and let me know whether or not they find you. Sometimes I wonder what your mother's got in her head, she never worries about anything! They call me back, say they've found you. Well where are you? They can't say. Are they aware that you're skipping school? Yes, yes they are. Well what are you doing? You're on a case. They won't tell me anything except that you're on a case! At the same time Professor Agasa, who until then didn't know where you were, suddenly says that he got a phone call from you telling him that you're on a case! And all of a sudden Ran-kun admits that she's been getting sporadic phone calls from you but you won't even tell her where you are! But other than all these mysterious phone calls no one's seen hide nor hair of you!"

"Um, is this going anywhere?"

Megure ignored Shinichi. "And then you show up, and vanish quickly after. It happens again and again, and you still won't tell anyone where you've been! Damn it Kudo-kun, if you don't tell me where you've been and you pull another vanishing act on us, I'm filing this damn report! So spill!"

"I can't," Shinichi said, suddenly serious.

"What do you mean, you can't? Have you acquired sudden amnesia?" Megure asked sarcastically.

"I can't," Shinichi bit out, rising to leave. "Now I really need to go."

Megure grabbed his arm, stopping him before he reached the door. "You're going nowhere young man until I get some answers." The quiet tone was menacing, though Megure wondered briefly if he was perhaps pushing the boy too hard. He felt hot to the touch.

"Let me go," Shinichi demanded, his own tone threatening.

Megure raised his eyebrow. He was about to do just that over his own convictions that Shinichi would disappear when the teenager suddenly convulsed within himself. "Kudo-kun!"

Shinichi gave him an unreassuring smirk. "'M fine Inspector, just let me go home. I need some rest, I've been working-" he was cut off by another spasm and a short cry as he slipped out of Megure's grip to the floor, suddenly unexpected dead weight.

Megure quickly knelt next to him, calling his name. "Kudo-kun! Kudo-kun!" When the only response he got was muffled grunts of pain, he quickly pulled out his cell to call for an ambulance.

That was when Shinichi responded. His hand shot out from the ball he had curled up in and grabbed Megure's wrist. "Don't," he panted. "You'll get us all... killed."

"Kudo-kun, you're in no good shape right now! There's something wrong with you and you need help!"

"'S nothing to worry 'bout. Happens to me all the time," Shinichi tried reassuring with another smirk. This one worked marginally better than the last.

"Kudo-kun, you're clearly sick," Megure insisted. "You need a doctor. I should think you would know better than to let something clearly this serious go untreated."

"It's not-" Shinichi grunted and writhed again, clearly trying to hold it in.

And then, before Megure's eyes, Shinichi grew smaller. He stared, rubbing at his eyes to make sure he was really seeing this.

The young boy took a few deep, shuddering breaths and then pushed himself up off the ground. He rolled his neck whilst rubbing it, wincing slightly. He then cocked his head and smiled up at Megure, though the whole impression reeked slightly of falsehood. "It's not going untreated! I've got a friend looking into it!" he chirped.

What the...? Megure blinked several times, still staring.

The boy sighed, the cheery demeanor gone in a flash. "It's kind of a long story. A really long story."

Inspector Megure finally found his voice. "Kudo-kun... what the hell is going on here?" A thought suddenly occurred to him. "...You are Kudo-kun, right?"

The boy nodded at the floor. "I never actually left. I've been here the whole time." He looked up, almost hopeful, but those hopes were apparently crushed as soon as he saw the Inspector's face. "I take it I've got no hope of leaving until I explain, huh?"

And then something in Inspector Megure snapped. His world no longer made sense, and he did not like that. He wanted it to make sense again. He wanted to know what it was that Kudo Shinichi was hiding, and may the universe crash and burn should he not find out just what was going on right now.

In the end, his response was a bellowed, "DAMN STRAIGHT!"

Shinichi seemed to sink even further into the floor, before Megure hauled him up, plopped him back down in the chair, sat back down opposite him, and stared with all the fury of a righteous police officer on a quest for truth!

Wow. I had not honestly realized it had been this long since my last proper DC fic. I like AUs. They're golden *is shot*. Reviews please!