He was sleeping on her couch.
He was sleeping on her couch!
Jenny Shepard fumed silently as she stood in the doorway of her office, glaring at the sight that greeted green eyes tired from watching hours of operations in MTAC.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs was sprawled out on her comfy leather couch snoring like a camp of lumberjacks.
He snuffled into the pillow as she watched, a muscle in his arm twitching.
Damn it, he was sleeping on her couch.
She contemplated slamming the door shut just to scare him awake, but years of experience around him and his hair-trigger reflexes cautioned against it. He probably had his damn gun hidden under her pillow. How the hell he'd even found the secret pillow she kept hidden in the office was completely beyond her.
"Dammit." She slipped into the office quietly, closing the door with a muted click and toeing off her shoes. She'd left MTAC intending on grabbing a nice nap on her couch before the start of the next op, and he'd broken into her office and stolen her nice, comfortable, cushioned couch.
Jethro snored on unaware of her vitriolic glare, mumbling in his sleep nonsensically.
Jenny very nearly slammed her head down on her desk a few times, groaning pathetically. She wanted her couch.
Well, that was it. If he was going to steal her couch, he'd have to deal with the consequences.
She made her way over, shoving at his shoulder. "Jethro, move."
He twitched in his sleep, hand rising to swat at her ineffectually as he mumbled aloud. "No, I don' wanna tap dance with teddy bears."
Jenny bit back a snort and shoved him a little harder. "Move over, lazy."
"Chinese dancing bears are bad." He lifted his head slightly as he spoke matter-of-factly.
She sighed, her patience rapidly wearing thin. "That's great, but I'm not a goddamn dancing bear from China, so move your ass over, you big dope."
Jethro shifted back, making enough room for her to slip in between him and the edge of the couch, stealing half of the pillow in the process. Jenny snuggled a little further into the pillow, releasing a long drawn out sigh as she drifted off to sleep.
Cynthia Sumner couldn't find her boss.
Which, considering Director Shepard had spent the majority of the early morning hours in MTAC overseeing ops in Japan and China, was slightly understandable. Her office was still locked, which usually meant she wasn't in there, but Cynthia couldn't figure out for the life of her where the Director could have gone.
The harried assistant sighed as she made her way past Team Gibbs' desks.
She stopped, giving Special Agent DiNozzo a weary look. "Yes, Agent DiNozzo?"
"Is Gibbs in with the Director?" Tony gestured to the aforementioned man's empty desk. "'Cause, well, he's not here. Or with Ducky or Abby. And the last time he went in Legal by himself, we had three agents resign. So…"
"I was actually looking for Director Shepard." Cynthia frowned. "Are you sure he's not out for coffee?"
Agent McGee shook his head as he piped up from his own desk. "I called all the coffee shops he frequents. None of them have seen him this morning."
"You are sure he is not with Jenny?" Ziva furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "And you say you are not sure where she is?"
"Her office is locked. I locked it when I left work last night because Director Shepard was in MTAC overseeing a few operations overseas until early this morning, but she's not in MTAC and she's not answering her phone. I've searched the entire building."
"You don't think…" Tony's eyes brightened conspiratorially as he leaned in, lowering his voice dramatically. "They're not hiding in there…together?"
"Tony, seriously?" McGee groaned and turned back to his computer. "We've heard enough of your Gibbs-and-the-Director-are-sleeping-together theories."
Cynthia paused thoughtfully. "Although…Agent Gibbs has been bringing her dinner a lot. And sometimes he sits in her office while she's doing paperwork."
"Yeah, paperwork." The Italian waggled his eyebrows suggestively with a wicked grin. "I bet they're in her office. Gibbs knows how to pick locks."
Ziva rolled her eyes. "Please, he would not waste his time picking the lock if he has a key."
"Gibbs has a key?" Tony looked as if Christmas had come early. "Wait…how d'you know he's got a key?"
"He let me borrow his keys to get something out of Evidence Lockup, and I know what Jenny's key looks like."
Cynthia felt like she was rapidly losing control of the situation. "Er…we probably should just leave it be. I'm sure Agent Gibbs and Director Shepard will show up…eventually."
"Pah, no way." Tony stood, waving to the other two agents imperiously. "C'mon. We've gotta go investigate."
"Tony…" McGee looked a little terrified at the prospect of breaking into the Director of NCIS' office.
"Hey, if anyone asks, we're checking to make sure the Director is all right, for security reasons."
"How are you going to get in?" Ziva perched on the edge of her desk, waving her set of lock picks teasingly with a satisfied grin.
He faltered, scratching the back of his head. "Uhhh…I'll buy you a week's worth of Berry-Mango Madness."
She made an affronted look, clicking her tongue. "Oh, Tony, Tony, Tony…you know nothing of negotiation."
"Two weeks, and I'll buy you lunch today."
Her eyes glinted dangerously. "Three weeks of Berry-Mango Madness, and you buy me lunch all this week."
Tony glanced up at the cat walk and then back at the Israeli. "Deal."
"Lovely doing business with you, though I would have done it for your original offer." Ziva grinned and patted his cheek as she sauntered past towards the stairs.
Cynthia bit back a laugh as she followed, hearing Tony make a strangled sound in his throat.
"Are you sure we should be doing this, Tony?"
McGee glanced back and forth from the doorway he was supposed to be guarding to Tony and Ziva, crouched in front of Director Shepard's office door.
"Oh, c'mon, McSpineless, live a little. We've gotta find Gibbs and the Director one way or another." Tony showed a toothy grin, turning back to his partner. "You got it, Zee-vah?"
"I would have it if you would stop breathing down my neck, Tony!" Ziva hissed, slotting the pick expertly into the lock. "Okay, nearly…got it!"
A hush fell over the group as Ziva slowly opened the door, pushing it open as quietly as possible.
"They still have their clothes on? Boring." Tony's whisper sounded first; unmistakably like the elder child disappointed nothing X-rated was occurring.
"I think it is cute." Ziva observed the sleeping redhead, wrapped up in the warm arm of the silver haired agent. "They are cuddling."
McGee's interest was piqued, and he abandoned his post guarding the door in favor of creeping over to peer in at the slumbering boss and boss-lady. He didn't notice the newest arrival until she sucked in a gasp and squealed at eardrum piercing level, clapping her hands as she jumped up and down.
"OHMYGOSH THEY'RE SO CUTE!"
One ice blue eye snapped open.
"RUN!" Tony turned on his heel and sprinted out of the office, followed quickly by the rest of the team.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs felt good.
Sneak into Jenny's office for a well deserved nap, Check.
Scare the living daylights out of the team, Check.
Drink coffee and scowl murderously said team while forcing them to do three month's worth of back paperwork in penance for breaking into Jenny's office, Check.
He took another long sip of coffee and glared viciously for effect, blue eyes passing over the bent heads of his team.
He glanced up when a set of stiletto heels clicked their way down the stairs and through the bullpen to his desk, revealing themselves in the form of Director Jenny Shepard.
"You all finished here?"
"Was just headin' out."
"I'll walk you to your car."
He considered briefly, smirking as an idea hit him. "Dinner?"
Jenny looked taken aback, but took in his wink and decided to play along. "Sure. You buying?"
He snorted as he stood from his desk, gathering his overcoat from the back of his chair. "Don't I always?"
"Just thought I'd offer, you chauvinist."
Gibbs smirked, speaking without turning around as his team made to leave. "Who said the three of you could leave?"
Tony swallowed, sinking back in his chair a little. "I—we were…you're going home, Boss?"
"Yeah. I'm goin' home. Never said anything about the three of you. Finish those reports an' leave 'em on my desk."
A rather miserable chorus of 'Yes Boss' followed him to the edge of the bullpen where Jenny stood waiting.
He reached out at the last second, headslapping DiNozzo firmly. "Keep your mouth shut, DiNozzo."
"I hear one word of this around the office, and you'll get a taste of Marine-style discipline, ya hear?"
Jenny disguised a laugh behind a cough and nudged his elbow, smiling faintly. "Ready?"
She leaned over as they entered the elevator, speaking just as the doors started to close.
"You know you talk in your sleep?"
A/n: Little piece that struck me in the wee small hours of the morning.