Once again I do NOT own these charecters…they are owned by the amazing Stephenie Meyer…now on to the story!
"I said NO!" I growled as I walked stiffly to the bathroom.
Oh god…I truly am a monster. All they wanted to do was help me and I yelled at them all…..I fucking yelled at them.
As I walked into the bathroom I turned and slammed the door…..I knew that it was childish but the last thing I wanted was to have them helping me. I locked the door and sat on the toilet, I started to think of ways to get out of this house, away from these people that I had caused all this pain for. I still couldn't believe that I had yelled at them though….god what is wrong with me. It dawned on me then that my throat was burning…how loud had I yelled? I reached up to rub my throat then and felt a sharp pain…I gasped and damn near fell off the toilet. I stood and walked over to the sink…I stared down into the sink for what seemed like an eternity….slowly I raised my eyes to the mirror that hung over the sink. Oh my god…I stumbled back as I saw the thick vicious red line across my neck, it was horribly raised and puffy, it was long as it reached from one side of my neck to the other. I was shocked to see it..how did I survive this?…..how could it have scarred over so quickly?…I reached up and grazed my fingers over it and felt another sharp pain like that of a razor being dragged over it….I gasped and bit down hard on my lip to attempt to subdue the pain….it also felt cold to my touch….much much colder then the rest of me felt. It dawned on me then what must have happened to make it this way….venom. Just then I heard a light tapping on the door…..
"What?" I answered the knocking on the door irritated.
"Bella?" Alice said quietly "Bella, are you ok in there?"
I gripped the sides of the sink harder and stared hard at the space underneath the door….I felt my anger rising…why couldn't they leave me alone?
"I'm fine Alice" I growled "I said I didn't want any help…now would you just leave me alone."
I felt a sudden calm wash over me, it felt amazing, I closed my eyes gently and took a deep breath. I relished in the feeling of it, until I realized what was causing it.
"Damnit Jasper!" I squeaked out "I don't want your help either. Stop trying to make me feel better! Cant you understand that I just want to be left alone….I want to go home and be left alone!"
" So sorry Bella" I heard Jasper whisper.
Feeling all the negative emotions rush back into me as Jasper released me, I knew what I had to do. This was not going to be pretty and I knew that it would hurt them all deeply,but I couldn't just let them care for me, it wasn't right considering. I knew I was a monster but it didn't matter now….I turned and grabbed the doorknob. I jerked the door open viciously and stood in the doorway to face them all
"Look guys I know your worried about me but all I really want is to be left alone…." I yelled at them all the while staring at the floor "I don't want or need anything from any of you….I don't want to be calm…Jasper" I sneered at him then "I don't want or need you to try to comfort me ….Alice" Staring at her hard " I certainly don't need you Emmett making snide remarks or trying to make me laugh" I saw his face fall and turned my glare hard onto Rosalie "I sure as shit don't need you Rose, you and bitchiness, you never did like me and I don't see any reason to change that now"…
As I cast my evil glare onto the last Cullen in the room my heart sank…I knew it would hurt him most of all….I didn't know why he would care at all but he did and I had no other choice but to do this because I had no right to be here taking advantage of his caring side…no matter how bad I really wanted and needed it….
"And you…" I pointed at Carlisle and saw him suddenly flinch as if I had punched him "I certainly don't want ANYTHING from you" I saw his face fall then as he covered his face with his hands "I wanted to die…I didn't want to be here and live in this empty world anymore…I made the choice Carlisle…..and you…you just couldn't let me be could you..no you had to be the hero didn't you…well too little too late" I knew that was the worst thing I could have said but I had to make him hate me as he should "do me a favor next time Dr. Cullen…. Save all your heroics for someone who wants it…cause it isn't me nor will it ever be….now I WANT YOU ALL OUT! NOW!"
I turned then and slammed the door shut again. I couldn't stand to see all their destroyed faces anymore. I knew I had no right to do what I had just done and I knew I was horrible for it but at that point I didn't care. I wanted them all to hate me. I heard the soft click of a far off door being closed and knew that I was being given my request…I was alone now….and no matter how much I knew that it was right it still hurt like hell. I bit down on my lip and went back to stand over the sink, I felt the tears start to roll heavily down my cheeks, I stared back up to the mirror and was truly disgusted of what I saw.
I watched in utmost horror as Bella started her rant of pain on my family. I watched all over there beautiful faces fall in pain as all her words hit home, it looked more painful then their transformations. Then as she had made all her rounds she looked at me finally.
"And you…" she pointed at me and I flinched as if she had punched a hole straight through my chest "I certainly don't want ANYTHING from you" I grabbed my face into my hands to hide the silent sobs that wracked me then "I wanted to die…I didn't want to be here and live in this empty world anymore…I made the choice Carlisle…..and you…you just couldn't let me be could you..no you had to be the hero didn't you…well too little too late" she whispered viciously to me, god it hurt I knew she thought me a monster…if only I had not paused and just ran directly behind Esme…none of this would have happened "do me a favor next time Dr. Cullen…. Save all your heroics for someone who wants it…cause it isn't me nor will it ever be….now I WANT YOU ALL OUT! NOW!" she hollered as she turned and went back into the bathroom slamming the door behind her, and slamming the heart clear out of my chest.
Dejected we all turned slowly and did as she had requested and left the room, left her to her peace. We all walked down to the living room quietly without a word between us. I stood at the entryway to the living room for what seemed an eternity, as I watched my on the sofa. They all looked worse then death. I realized then how badly she had hurt them…it wasn't fair…they didn't do anything…it was my fault…why did she have to hurt them?…..she could hurt me all she wanted…I deserved it..they did not. I felt my anger riseing…I couldn't restrain the floods of anger that washed into me fast and furious at watching my family's destroyed faces. I'd take it all onto myself if I could. It was then that I heard the most horrid sound coming from the room we had just left….was that?…..glass shattering?…..
"Carlisle!" Jasper shouted as he sprung onto his feet spinning to stare dead at me.
I saw him suddenly take in a deep breath and the panic that crossed his face made my heart drop.
"There's blood!" He screamed at me before suddenly bolting for and out of the door.
"Oh my god Carlisle!" Alice said.
I looked at them then seeing the shock and horror on their faces and immediately pointed to the door that Jasper had just bolted through.
"OUT! NOW! There's blood. GO I'll call when I figure out whats going on!" I screamed at them.
I watched as they all rose and filed out of the house and raced off. I turned and descended the stairs quickly and into my bedroom. I paused in the middle of the room, trying to figure out if she would want me to help her. It was them that I remembered all of my childrens faces after what she had just said to them. I felt my anger rising again…I quickly went to the bathroom door and knocked…
"Bella? Bella, are you ok? What was that noise?" I asked as I jiggled the door knob…it was locked again of course.
"Just leave me alone Carlisle, I'm fine and I don't need you here, now GO!" she screamed at me from the other side of the door.
"Bella, open the door! I smell the blood and I want to see what you've done!" I yelled at her banging on the door harder and louder.
"I said I'm fine…now get lost Carlisle!" she screamed at me again.
Now I was getting furious "Yeah? And I said OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BELLA!" I growled loudly at her.
"NO!" She hollered back.
That was it…..I lost it…how dare she tell me no to anything….in my home….I laughed a little internally at the thought that she believed a locked door would stop me. I stepped back and kicked out and with a loud crash the door splintered from the frame and fell limply to the side….
"Damnit Bella when I tell you to open the fucking door you had better goddamn open it!" I growled at her as I saw her jump.
She looked utterly shocked to be looking at me. I strode over and hovered over her petite body sitting on the toilet lid. I felt my chest heaving, unnecessarily, as I stared her down. I realized I was growling at her then and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to rein myself in, I was pissed at her for hurting my family, pissed for hurting herself again, pissed at her because…..because…because she had tried to deny me when I gave a very clear and direct order…an order that she didn't obey. Why did that part bother me? …..it didn't matter right now…I had nothing but time to figure it out…because right now I was really pissed and all I could see was red…
"C…Carlisle?" she stuttered.
"Damnit Bella did you honestly think a fucking locked door would stop me?" I growled at her again. "Vampire!" I said pointing to myself. "Remember?"
"I…..I….." she stammered looking at the floor.
"Shut-up Bella you've had your say today!" I growled loudly still hovering over her. "Now its my turn!"
I saw her shoulders hunch and she was shaking. Staring at the floor she just nodded. I knew she was crying, and she was terrified of me at this point. It reined me in just a little, but not enough to stop my rage entirely. She would listen to what I had to say and she would not deny me my right to confront her.
"Look at me Bella." I sad softer trying to even out my voice. She just dropped her head lower and shook it. "Please?" I attempted to be kind as I reached down and took her chin in my hand, trying to raise it to look at me.
"No." she said and jerked her head away and down from my hand.
"Damnit Bella. I said fucking look at me!" I growled feeling my anger rising again. " You will not deny me in my own home girl!"
With that she snapped her head up and glared at me hard. "then I will leave "your home"." She said through her teeth as she began to raise off the toilet.
"No. You wont be going anywhere!" I growled and pushed her back down to her seat. "You will sit here and let me help you! You will listen to me now! And you will not let your eyes drop from my own!"
Seeing the contempt still in her eyes I stepped up closer to her until I was practically standing on top of her. I growled so loud at her then that my own vision blurred from the vibration it caused. She snapped her eyes to mine then as I saw the contempt drain completely from them. I felt myself begin to be drawn into the pools of melted milk chocolate that her eyes represented.
"Now, tell me what happened." I sighed feeling my anger fading. "Why is there glass all over the floor?" I asked suddenly realizing that the floor was completely covered in tiny reflective shards.
"I…I….I ummm….I'm so sorry Carlisle. I uhhh punched the mirror." She whispered in stammer as she dropped her eyes.
I grabbed her chin again, kneeling down to her level, and forced her eyes back to mine. "I said to look at me and to keep your eyes with mine didn't I?" I found myself growling again but not anywhere near as loud as before.
"Yes, sir" she whispered.
God what was wrong with me? I was scaring the hell out of her and that is something I never wanted to do. Thinking quickly back over the last few moments I realized that I hadn't acted as I would normally, I had cursed a lot, growled more then I had ever in my entire existence, I couldn't deny that I was shocked. But what shocked me more then any of that was the sudden urge of possessiveness that I was feeling over her. What was that all about?….
Sorry about the long wait! I promise to not make you all wait so long next time! I hope you can all forgive me L! Oh wait… I know….
Pulls out her cell phone and quickly dials…
"This is Dr. Cullen."
"Yes, Hi Carlisle."
"Oh, Hello Annie. How are you this fine evening?"
"Oh, I'm ok I guess. How are you?"
"I'm good thank you. Are you sure you're ok? You sound kind of down today."
"Well no actually I'm not really…I uhhhh… oh Carlisle I messed up big time."
"Oh? What happened? It cant be that bad."
"Well you know that story I'm writeing about you?"
A slight giggle "Ah, yes I do remember you mentioning that my dear. What about it?"
"Well I took a long time updating it and I'm worried that people will be upset."
"Ohhh…..well I'm sure that they will be ok. They wont be too upset, just don't take so long next time."
"Thank you Carlisle, you always know what to say to make me feel better."
"You're quite welcome my dear, now is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Well, yes there is actually, if you're not too busy that is."
"I'm never too busy for you my dear."
Does a quick yaay man \o/
"Well I was wondering if you could finish this chapter out for me?"
"Oh, of course dear."
Hello everyone this is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Please forgive my dear Annie..she does not mean to keep you all waiting. I will make sure myself that she will update sooner then the last time. She asked me to request reviews and to thank all of the wonderful people who have reviewed and favorited her story thus far. Also I am personally sending out tight embraces, also known as hugs ,to you all.
"Was that acceptable my dear?"
"Yes, thank you again Carlisle."
"You're more then welcome my dear and please do not hesitate to call me anytime you need anything."
"Thanx I sure will."
"Well, remember I promised to ensure a sooner update, and I do not break my promises, so I will be seeing you soon."
Does another yaaay man \o/
"Ok, night night Carlisle."
"Goodnight my dear Annie."