The Sister Swap
Disclaimer: I'm not awesome enough to own Hetalia D:
Beady eyes narrowed at the busy road ahead. Cars, trucks, and vans of all colors and sorts sped by in a flash. With no traffic lights, anyone in the right mind would automatically know that crossing this kind of road would be an impossible feat.
But THIS little old lady thought otherwise.
She's tired of the terribly tedious life of the retirement home (which her ugly daughter-in-law had convinced her son to put her in).
Tired of never getting what she wanted, like going skydiving on her 80th birthday.
Tired of the constant age discrimination she has to endure over and over again.
Well today is a NEW DAY! THIS little old lady is on a MISSION! A mission to prove that the flame of youth hasn't extinguished for her yet! And that mission is called:
Yes. This was her resolve. As she licked her wrinkled lips and gripped her silver cane, this woman with balls of steel made her first step onto the road of doom.
Little did she know, around the same time, a random golf cart full of very familiar-looking people was charging wildly through the traffic, swerving left and right to dodge each oncoming car and earning a string of curses from drivers along the way.
"Vash, please calm down!" a blond American desperately pleaded to a Swiss man as he tried to take over the steering wheel. "I am the driver here and it is not wise to drive so recklessly! I assure you I will drive as fast as I can-
"To hell with your driving!" the Swiss man snapped. "My sister is in trouble and you make safe driving your priority? I swear you drive slower than my grandma!"
"GRANDMA!" a Japanese man sitting in the back of the golf cart exclaimed.
"Aiyaah, this is not the time for joking around, especially with Vash!" a little boy in a sailor suit sitting next to the Japanese man scolded.
"NO! WATCH OUT!" he cried, pointing frantically. They looked and gasped in horror.
The little old lady with eyes hardened in determination managed to make it halfway across the busy road. Sure, she caused a few cars to crash into each other and those drivers weren't a ray of sunshine to her right now, what with all the honking and hollering, but she's still on her feet. Just halfway more to go, then she will become a legend! "Old Lady Crosses Busiest Road of the City", will be the headline on every newspaper. It will be a victory to boast about for years to come! She will be admired by her grandchildren and envied by the others back at the retirement home.
"Guess what?" she will say. "I just crossed the busiest road ever without any help and lived to tell the tale! And what have you done? Ran with scissors? HA! In your face, suckers!"
Oh, yes, she would give it to them.
Like a boss.
Unfortunately, the little old lady was yanked from her daydreaming when she saw a golf cart rushing straight towards her to her left. Terror immediately replaced her earlier determination. The last thing she remembered was opening her mouth and shouting, "WHAT THE-
"Fudge!" a young girl cried in delight. "Wow that looks delicious!"
She eyed a plate of fudge brownies hungrily as a waiter placed it in front of her. The waiter smiled warmly.
"I hope you enjoy!" He winked at the Russian sitting across the table from her before walking away and disappearing behind double doors. Once the waiter was out of sight, the Russian turned his attention on the girl.
"It looks nice, da?" he said to her with a wide grin as he folded his hands and propped his elbows on the table.
"Yes, indeed!" she agreed, leaning forward to grab a brownie, but hesitated. She looked at the Russian for reassurance. "May I…?"
"Why of course!" he insisted. "It's all yours…Natalia."
She smiled and eagerly snatched up one. There was a dark glint in the Russian's violet eyes as he quietly chanted "kolkolkol" under his breath and watched Natalia open her mouth. But just before she took a bite-
A golf cart suddenly smashed into the wall of the restaurant, flipping over a table in the process. Utensils and chairs were knocked off. A vase shattered, napkins fluttered, and chunks of brick and shards of glass scattered everywhere. People nearby fled in fright. The Russian was unfazed though. He was just highly amused when there, emerging from the clouds of debris, was a very pissed off-looking Swiss guy armed with a rifle and wearing a lovely ruffled pink dress.
"Step away from my sister, bastard!" he demanded.
Now I know what you're thinking. What the hell is going on here? Well dear Reader, we must take a trip back in time; seven days to be exact, for the root of all this chaos traces back to one particular morning…
A high-pitched scream reverberated throughout the house, making it shake violently. Switzerland cracked open his eyes and was up in an instant.
He yanked the covers off and jumped out of bed, quickly slinging his rifle over his shoulder and rushing down the hallway to Liechtenstein's room. Panic and worry was written on his face as a cold bead of sweat ran down his cheek. He was at her door in ten seconds flat, and threw it open with a hard slam.
"Liechtenstein, are you al-?"
He barely had any time to react as a knife was speared at him.
"WHAT THE-!" he yelled, swiftly moving his head. The knife breezed by his ear and pierced the wall behind him with a loud THUNK! He gaped at it in shock. Where the hell did that come from? He turned around. "Liechten-!"
Without warning, a hand grasped his throat and shoved him roughly up against the wall. He found himself struggling to breathe and uselessly trying to pry the hand off of him. His strength was slipping away, so he tried to bring his gun up to aim it at his attacker.
"Don't bother," a familiar, yet cold voice told him. He widened his emerald eyes in disbelief and looked down. It couldn't be! She would never…
"…Li…li…?" he gasped.
Liechtenstein said nothing. Those eyes that used to gaze at him in admiration now glared at him so severely, it made him nearly want to shudder in fear. This vicious girl can't be Lili, his dear innocent sister. Not by a long shot.
And as if she read his mind, the fake Liechtenstein said, "I'm not who you think I am. Now…I'm only going to say this once." She tightened her hold on him and brought him closer to her face. "What the fuck have you done to me?"
The real Liechtenstein yawned and stretched her arms and legs out before getting up. "Oh my. What a lovely dream," she recalled as she pushed the covers aside and got out of bed. She tried to rub the sleep from her eyes while staggering towards the bathroom. She then opened the door and proceeded to flick on the light, approach the sink, and turn on the faucet. Once she had it turned on to warm water, she cupped her hands together and scooped up some water to splash on her face. Aahhh! That felt quite nice. She smiled contently and reached blindly out for the face towel on the rack. Then she dabbed the towel on her face and glanced at the mirror to see if she got all the water off.
That was when she saw it.
She did a double take.
And almost fainted right then and there.
Instead, she gasped in surprise and dropped the towel. There was a girl with long platinum blonde hair and dark blue eyes staring back at her. The girl reached up to touch her face at the same time Liechtenstein did. She also ran a hand through her hair and looked down at her clothes. The girl in the mirror copied every single movement of Liechtenstein's.
"Oh my goodness…" Liechtenstein uttered in practically a whisper and she immediately clamped a hand over her mouth. Her voice had changed too! She must have not noticed it earlier because she was so tired. But now she was wide awake, unfortunately. If only she stayed in bed, dreaming that wonderful dream about her and her beloved brother having a nice quiet picnic by a lake. She would have happily done that instead of waking up to this nightmare.
But it's too late for that. She was up, and there was nothing she could do.
But shriek in terror.
"I…did…nothing!" Switzerland managed to reply before mustering all his strength into that one hard kick to the fake Liechtenstein's stomach. She was caught off guard and instantly dropped him before falling to her knees and doubling over. Switzerland sucked in a gulp of air and breathed hard. God, he never felt more grateful to oxygen! Sweet, wonderful oxygen! I shall never take advantage of you again! He massaged his neck to rub away the marks Liechtenstein – "No FAKE Liechtenstein!" he reminded himself – left him before pointing his rifle at her. "I should be asking the questions here! Who are you? What have you done to the real Lili?"
She glared up at him and scowled. "How the hell do I know? All of a sudden, I woke up this morning and found myself in her damn body! Is this some sort of sick scheme of yours? Did you kidnap me and somehow put me in your sister's body, away from Russia? Are you trying to keep me and my brother apart?"
"What the hell? No! I-
"WELL IT WON'T WORK! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT, ONE DAY, RUSSIA AND I ARE GONNA GET MARRIED ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN! AND THERE'S GOING TO BE FLUTES PLAYING AND…TROMBONES…AND FLOWERS AND GARLANDS OF FRESH…HERBS! AND WE WILL DANCE! TILL THE SUN RISES! AND THEN OUR CHILDREN WILL FORM A FAMILY BAND AND WE WILL TOUR THE COUNTRYSIDE AND YOU. WON'T. BE. INVITED!"
Switzerland grunted and lowered his weapon to slap a hand on his forehead. God dammit! He knew he shouldn't have had that chocolate before bed last night.
"Er…B-Belarus?" Lithuania called to her hesitantly as he lightly knocked the door. "I-Is everything a-alright? I h-heard you shouting…" He paused to wait for an answer. No response. He sighed and reluctantly turned the doorknob and pushed it open just a little. "Belarus…?"
He half expected a knife to be thrown at his head the second he peaked his head through the opening, but nothing happened. Huh. That was…odd. Still cautious though, he opened the door just a tad wider each time before fully stepping into the room. "Belarus, are you okay?" he tried again.
Ok. This is creepy. He should be dodging knives and running for his life right about now as Belarus hunts him down while yelling furiously at the top of her lungs that she wants absolutely NO ONE entering her room unless it's Russia. Yet, here he is, striding into the room, still alive and still in one piece. He checked his watch. About two minutes had passed. HOLY CRAP. That's the longest he's been in Belarus's room! IT'S A NEW RECORD!
Suddenly, he heard sniffing and sobbing coming from the bathroom. He jumped and his heart raced. Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man! He will be a goner for sure if he stays any longer! Steadily, he backed up towards the door. That's it, Toris. Just keep moving. You're almost there. C'mon, Toris you can-
He mentally kicked himself. Crap! Did he really have to step on…
Is that a bag of Skittles? He picked it up and stared at the large red bag weirdly. It was King Sized, for goodness sake! What the hell is a King Sized bag of Skittles doing in Belarus's room?
"Is someone there?"
Lithuania panicked and hid the bag quickly behind his back before Belarus came out of the bathroom. He felt his heart pound even harder and faster and his throat went dry. Belarus just stood there, staring at him in astonishment. He tried to gulp.
"S-Sorry, I d-didn't mean to intrude," he apologized and laughed nervously. "J-Just wanted to see if you were ok- PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" He begged when he fearfully saw her storm up to him.
At that moment, the most unexpected thing happened to him.
She hugged him.
"Oh, it's just *hic* awful, Lithuania!" she wailed into his chest. "Just completely and *hic* utterly awful! I d-don't know *hic* how it *hic* happened! Please *hic* help me!"
To say Lithuania was stunned would be a HUGE understatement. His mind was reeling now as he gawked at the girl in his arms. This was the moment he had been dreaming of; the moment he imagined and played in his mind over and over again after Belarus somehow magically realizes that her brother will only see her as his little sister, not his lover, and come running to Lithuania. He just never imagined it would happen this soon. He stood there, stroking her hair and patting her back, shushing her and whispering gentle words of comfort, savoring the moment, until Belarus finally calmed down. Her crying softened and her hiccupping quieted. Slowly, he pulled away to get a good look at her. Her face was tear-stained and her dark blue eyes seemed to be two pools of sadness staring up at him. He tenderly wiped away the trails running down her chin and smiled sympathetically. If only Belarus showed more of this soft side of her. She would be much more pleasant.
"Now, tell me what's wrong. What's awful?" he asked in concern. Belarus took in a deep breath.
And thus was the start of a disaster.
Alright! So there you have it! The beginning of the new multi-chapter story I plan to stay committed to. I will update every Friday, so check by then please! I appreciate all reviews and favoriting! Thanks for reading X3
Oh, and I uh, don't own Ron Burgundy's little speech either... nor some other randomness put into this chapter XP