Disclaimer: I wish to god that I could claim ownership of the amazing, brilliant plotlines and characters of Doctor Who. But if I could then I would be lounging by a beach sipping pina coladas XD so I cant!

Dedication: Once again, to the River Song fans out there, we are an endangered species for some strange reason. Why dont more people adore this fiesty, independent woman?


Danger is my middle name:

River Song barely listened to the man seated opposite her, he had the habit of being excessively contradictory and obnoxious in the same sentence, frequently! It was enough to for any normal person to pay the bill and leave, but River Song wasn't normal, no far from it. There was also the undeniable fact that she did owe him.

That still didn't mean she was going to pay him attention, she thought as she caught sight of her reflection in the window of the cafe they were seated in.

"Prison hasn't done me a lot of good" She remarked to herself, turning this way and that to observe her dishevelled appearance.

"Still," a weary voice in her head chimed in, "You do the crime, you do the time!"

River smirked at that, the Doctor would of loved that.

As if it was planned and not a mere co-incidence River heard the distinct sound of the Tardis from across the street. She jerked back in surprise as she glimpsed the familiar blue police box materialise in front of her very eyes on the opposite corner.

Quickly she leapt into action, grabbing her handbag and rifling through it for the first piece of currency she could find. It was much more then anyone would pay for a cup of coffee but nevertheless, she slammed it down on the table and pushed her chair back.

The sound of the chair legs grating the floor tiles brought her date out of his mumbling trance, he stared at her as if just remembering she was there.

"Your leaving?" He asked incredulously

She nodded tiredly, "I've got better things to do,"

And just like that, River Song rejected the prison officer who'd signed her release forms and ran instead to the Time lord she'd escaped jail numerous times for.

The Doors of the Tardis were still closed when she reached them; she hesitated for a fraction of a second to glance behind her at the cafe window. Her date's eyes never left her for even a moment, no doubt wondering who he had suddenly been defeated by.

He got his answer soon enough as the doors were thrown open and a man with unruly brown hair, a bowtie and tweed jacket poked his head out onto the street. The Doctor.

"Hello Sweetie" River grinned, already reaching into her handbag to extract the blue diary she carried with her everywhere.

"Oh, Hello River" The Doctor cried, momentarily distracted as he scanned the busy street in front of him.

"Why are you in 18th century France?" He asked suddenly, turning back to her and scrutinising her face.

"Why are you in 51st century America?" She shot back, enjoying his slight confusion at the question.

The Doctor gave a cry of frustration after a second or two,

"No, I've done it again!"

"And you left the handbrake on again!" River cried in exasperation, will he ever learn?

"Ah so you've been at the Byzantium already?" He cried, triumphant at tricking her into reveal this small detail.

Inwardly River cringed; he was getting better at this. Before he could weasel anything else out of her River flicked through the book in her hand, stopping at random on pages,

"Have we done the bone meadows yet?"

"No"

"Picnic at Asgard?"

"Uh, no" The Doctor sighed and River smirked knowing that for a second he had considered lying to her.

"The Pandorica?"

"YES!" The Doctor cried in relief.

The look of triumph faded as he noticed something behind here,

"Who... is that?" He asked slowly, a frown settling on his features.

"Oh, him? He's was my prison officer" she replied carelessly, flicking another page of her diary.

"So why is he looking at me like that...and is that a taser in his hand?" The Doctor squinted as he tried to get a better look.

River's eyes snapped up, shutting the diary and shoving it in her handbag.

"Doctor" she began very slowly and precisely.

Reaching for his hand she began to push him back into the Tardis.

"I think it's time to leave!"

"Why?" The Doctor asked, despite the fact that he was still staring at the answer to that question.

River sighed, her Doctor, intellectually speaking he was gifted, but his people skills were lacking. That's what made him her Doctor.

"Because that man with a taser is going to try and kill you"

After that the Doctor did not object to being hauled into the Tardis.

"So, where shall we go now?" River asked cheerfully as soon as he'd shut the doors and turned around to face her.

She was already seated on the couch, her legs propped up and the diary once more in her hands as she lazily flicked through it.

The Doctor was silent for a second before he said brightly, "I know just the place," he paused before going on, "You have a habit of bringing danger, so trust me, you'll like this"

River tore her eyes away to look at him curiously, "Not like you to chase danger sweetie, where are we going?"

The Doctor grinned mischievously "You'll see"

With that he began to run about the controls pressing various buttons and pulling levers, and for once River was content to let him do so, although she did walk over once to switch off the handbrake...

"Here we are!" The Doctor cried excitedly, practically jumping for joy. River gulped as she took in the scene.

"The Maldovarium, the black market of the 52nd century!" obviously not reading the expression on her face correctly he went on, "Bet you've never been here before!"

For a second she considered telling him that she had, just to wipe the smirk from his face, but she couldn't do that with out arousing suspicion.

Instead she nodded and tried to hide her face behind the collar of her shirt, praying that no one would recognise her.

In truth she'd spent much time here, making more enemies than friends, she didn't need the Doctor to know that...yet.

It didn't help that he was pointing out everything like they were tourists or something,

"How exciting this? One alien bar, in the middle of nowhere, becomes the backdrop for every illegal activity you could imagine! I mean..." he corrected himself hastily, "Not that I think it's great or anything, I mean, crime is extremely not very good. But it's interesting how civilisations evolve, even the, well the, less good parts"

"Less good Doctor?" River asked, raising an eyebrow despite herself.

"Well, less than what is good" He went on, persistently.

River nodded, a smile on her face. "Well, less than what's good is not going to be very good for us so why don't we just..." She began, already turning back to the Tardis.

The Doctor gripped her hand tightly and hauled her back to stand next to him, "Oh, no I've had enough of you dragging me into something, now it's my turn!"

And with that he led her through the mixed crowd of humans and aliens alike. River kept her head down while she attempted to break free of his grasp, all while trying not to draw attention to herself. She was familiar with the layout of course, a central bar around which the main tables clustered. Behind them were designated areas for "private" sales, thinly veiled with hanging beads. The whole place was a cross between a cheap Chinese restaurant and that Star Wars series the Doctor was so fond of. (Personally River found the movies incredibly boring.) Red paper lanterns hung from the ceiling, others were made of glass and emitting some kind of smoke.

There were many different humanoids here tonight but River was careful not to cross one in particular. It had been only one year ago that she had slipped micro-explosives into a glass of wine that the owner of the place had been drinking from, successfully blackmailing him into handing her a vortex manipulator...for free.

The Doctor wasn't ready to know anything about her "other" life, and if she'd had it her way then he wouldn't of known everything. But no, Octavian just had to spill that story didn't he?

River barely noticed where the Doctor was taking her, she was to busy cursing the dead bishop at that moment.

"here we are!" He cried suddenly, coming to an abrupt stop.

River scanned the area, a look of pure bewilderment crossing her features.

"Doctor, we've gone around in a circle, the Tardis is right there see"

She gestured to the blue police box that rested against the back wall, aliens with two, three and no eyes passing it by with out a second glance.

"yes, well, we shouldn't stay long, there is such a thing as too much danger you know!" The Doctor replied with a smile as he opened the door for her.

River smiled in relief as she entered the Tardis, she could relax now at least. What she needed was to draw herself a bath and sink into it with a good book, with or without the Doctor...she wasn't fussed really.

The came the voice that gave her Goosebumps, "Ahhh, Doctor Song!"

"Oh..." River gulped as she looked up at the fat blue alien standing at the controls, dressed in rich fabrics and giving her a look that plainly wished her a painful death.

River Song turned around to face the Doctor, the smile on his face told her all she needed to know, "This is a little too dangerous dear!" She cringed.


well, there you go!

all comments welcome

hope you enjoyed it! XD