Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and its characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and Little, Brown & Company. Any unrecognisable characters are the property of the author. No profit is being made from this story.

A/N: I know that I shouldn't be posting a story when I have another huge project practically on hiatus, but I came across this story whilst combing through some archives and just felt the need to post.

This story comes with plenty of warnings, most importantly that it is not recommended for the squeamish or faint-hearted. If you are neither of those things, lay on! I hope you enjoy!



Dreams are the gateway to our subconscious. They show us the things we already know - that there is magic in ordinary days...



Her dream always started the same: they were back.

In the net of her subconscious, she is always as she once was – a fresh-faced rose of seventeen; young and free, unmarked by marriage and childbirth.

Bella learns the truth of their abandonment – they loved her so much that they could not bear to see her marred by the darkness of their existence – they left to save her.

But as she had wallowed in her despair, so had Edward. She was his mate, his forever, and he couldn't bear to be parted from her any longer – her destiny was irrevocably intertwined with his. He would finally Change her, and they would remain forever young, forever beautiful, forever in love, and never again would they be parted.


But, tonight's dream was different….


"You're not happy, Bella," Edward said gently, his tone so sure that she could feel the seeds of doubt take firm root in her mind.

"I am!"

She was happy. How could she not be? She had a good life, a better life than most, with three healthy beautiful children and a husband who loved her deeply.

"I might not be able to read your mind, my love, but I know you. You wait… for fate… for me. You still love me. You never stopped. It's always there – the thought of what could be. Even now, you've never stopped wondering about our eternity together."

"No… that's not true." Her denial sounded weak to her own ears. Was she that obvious?

The crooked smile she realised she still loved was sad in his beautiful face. A cold finger traced her cheek and she could feel her heartbeat race, against her will.

"You're still a terrible liar, Bella."

His voice was soft and sad and she knew that he was mostly right.

But perhaps not for the reason he believed in so strongly.

Still, she lets him kiss her.


The kids were with Sue and Charlie. The house was quiet. The scent of cinnamon sugar from freshly baked snicker-doodles was fading from the air in the small kitchen. His dinner was kept warm in the oven, waiting patiently for him.

Jacob Black was tired, hungry and covered in grease. And his wife, the woman whom he loved more than life itself, stank with the cloying musky scent of decay.


"I gave everything I am to you!" Jacob screamed in despair. "My wolf, my love, my seed!"

Bella flinched.

"And, still it means nothing!" his voice cracked. "None of this means anything to you!" he said. His wide hand swept over the expanse of the small house where, for the last ten years, they had lived together as husband and wife and raised their children.

"That's not true!"

"God, Bella!" he screamed again, tugging at his chin length hair. "Open your goddamned eyes! Are you really that selfish, that blind that you actually believe that?"

Jacob was struggling valiantly to rein in his temper. For the first time in the years since his daughter was born, he could feel his Wolf-Spirit battling its human counterpart for dominance. The rage and the despair he felt were a towering inferno consuming his now increasingly tenuous hold to his humanity.

"I see you watching, listening, and waiting for something that, clearly, I can't give you! Every day, I see you give the bare minimum to the people who should mean everything to you!"

She started to cry at the fact that he could so easily see what she strived to keep hidden away inside of her. She realised that she had forgotten how much of an open book she was to Jacob. How he had always known the truth in her soul that she had refused to acknowledge.

"Jake… I'm so sorry…."

"Sorry?" he hissed bitterly. "Your apology, your tears are less than worthless to me now."

The shaking hadn't eased but his voice, when he spoke, was glacial. Freezing cold, something she'd never once experienced in his presence cloaked her skin as fear took hold of her heart and refused to let go.

Holding her gaze, Jacob slipped his wedding band off and tossed it at her feet. He backed away slowly to the front door. "I expect my children in their beds when I get back. You… I want gone. Don't come back."

"Jake –"

But, he was gone, disappearing out into the darkness of the winter night.

With a ragged, exhausted sigh, Bella looked down at the simple gold band and modest solitaire winking on her ring finger. Since the day he had first given them to her, she had rarely taken it off, and never without the intention of putting it back on. Even now, her mind rebelled at the thought.

She couldn't bear to watch. Instead, she clenched her eyes shut tightly and tugged the rings from her finger.

She set them on the side table with trembling fingers, insides roiling with turmoil. Bella should have been relieved. She could not understand why, without the rings on her finger, her inner burden felt even heavier.

Bella let out an ugly sob as outside the mournful howl of a wolf split the ice-cold air.


He was waiting, sitting on the steps leading to the front door of his family's spectacular mansion when she pulled up in the old red Chevy that was on its last legs.

"Alice saw your future again," he announced, getting to his feet. There was a joy that he didn't even try to disguise.

Bella could only sob.

She seemed to be doing that plenty.

"This was always meant to be, my love," he whispered, drawing her into the cool marble of his embrace. "You can't fight fate."


"Please stay," Bella begged. She always seemed to be begging him to stay.

"Always," Edward fervently whispered the honeyed words she wanted so desperately to believe in.

"Kiss me." There was so much pain within and it seemed that Edward was the soothing drug, coursing through her veins.

"As you wish."

"Love me."

She had made her choice.

Her soul had already been ripped in half.

Without him, she knew she was nothing.

Nothing else mattered anymore.



Her blood still sang for him. She was soft and warm, needy and more than willing. His control was destroyed.

It was an accident.

At least that was what he told himself even as the echoes of his nonexistent soul bellowed in furious disbelief.

"Don't cry, Bella, my love," Edward's velvet voice soothed. "No more pain, I promise you. It will all be over soon."


For three long days, the venom coursed like fire in her veins. She was mired in darkness; the pain of the transformation was like scalding liquid heat welding itself to her bones.


Alice screamed.

"Edward!" Esme cried in horror.

Blood-red eyes were trained on six terrified faces.

Carlisle grasped his arm in an unbreakable grip. "What have you done?"

"I always knew that you were selfish, brother," Rosalie hissed, her beautiful blonde face twisted with disgust. "You two really were made for each other."


She couldn't remember anyone, remember anything except The Thirst.

The Thirst was the one thing that hurt the least in this strange alien world she had woken up in. This acid that burned in the back of her throat paled in comparison to the inexplicable feelings in the cavity of her chest at the pictures and the voices of humans that rushed through her mind. Her heart was not quite a phantom limb – it didn't beat anymore, it was dead, but that didn't mean it was gone.

It hurt to focus on anything but The Thirst.

So she didn't….

Instead, she embraced the monster she had always feared hid within.


The childish shrieks she chased after were not rooted in carefree laughter. She was toying with her but, in truth, this was no game. This insignificant human was fleeing for her very life.

Bella could hear the frantic beat of her heart, feel her desperation, and smell the sweet scent of her fear. Venom pooled in her mouth at the thought of the honeyed taste of the girl's blood exploding on her tongue.

She was gaining on her, enjoying the chase, thoroughly relishing the anticipation. It was not a question of if she would capture her, but when.

Run little human, run! Bella thought with a laugh, Enjoy the illusion of possible freedom!

Silky black hair fluttered behind her as the nimble little body fled through the forest. She weaved and darted between the trees, all in a vain effort to lose her pursuer. She looked fearfully back into the burning eyes of the predator, red with newborn bloodlust and this split-second lack of attention was her undoing, as she tripped on a tree root and went flying.

Bella burst into wicked laughter and pounced.

"Tag, you're it!" she cried, her stone-like weight crushing the little girl beneath her.

"No! Please, don't!" The little girl thrashed wildly in her marble arms as she screamed.

Bella loved it when they begged! It made the blood so much sweeter! The two little boys before this one had begged, too, their panicked screams like music to her ears.

The filthy red dog had fought crazed after they were gone, but in the end, had just lain there, defeated. She had not enjoyed that particular kill nearly as much as she thought she would. She felt its pain, and had desperately quelled it by swiftly ending its misery.

She deserved to have the fun of this chase!

"Don't worry, my sweet," she crooned with mock concern. "It won't hurt… much!"


Wide chocolate-brown eyes in an angelic face were the last things her mind registered before Bella sank venom-tipped fangs into the soft heat of her own daughter's throat.


A/N: I know this was probably a tough read. It certainly was a tough write. I hope it will please those of you who read to know that the story won't end like this. However, a time frame for the continuation is hard to pin-point. I hope it leaves you wanting more. Drop me a line or two and let me know what you think.