A cross-over fanfic of The Mortal Instruments and Harry Potter.
Because my friend told me there were things similar about them. As she said and I added, 1.) The other-worlders refer to humans differently: mundanes in TMI, muggles in HP. 2.) Steles and Wands. 3.) The sheer eeriness of Valentine and Voldemort. 4.) The Circle and Death Eaters [whose main goals are purification – Downworlders in TMI, mudbloods in HP]. 5.) The greatness of the story.
So here's what happened when I was reading an I-don't-give-a-damn-about-its-title oneshot in the TMI fandom…
At the Institute: Jace's room, 1:30 A.M.
Isabelle [I]: Good morning you guys! Pick up the slack, demons will be coming in half an hour.
Jace [J]: What? How can you even say that? Did they send you a text message or something? Whatever they did to let you know, I don't care – just leave me and my Clary for a minute. Oh forget that. Leave us for the rest of the dawn.
Clary [C]: What my? Jerk Jace. Jerk Jace. Jerk Jace. And Iz, you're saying…?
I: Visitors. In half an hour.
J: What kind of visitors visit at 2 A.M.?
*Alec appears behind Iz*
Alec [A]: Wizards and witches.
C: You mean those of your boyfriend's kind? Downworlders?
A: Magnus is not my boyfriend.
J: *scoffs* As if it's not pretty obvious.
A: Shut up Jace or else I'll tell Jocelyn you're making Clary sleep in your room.
C: Would you please get out the room! If there are visitors then we should look our best, right? Get out, get out, get out!
*Everyone gets out, even Jace who actually isn't aware why he did so. They pile in the Institute's kitchen.
At the Institute: the kitchen Isabelle ruined with her cooking, 1:45 A.M.
J: Where the hell is Clary? She's taking a lot of time, isn't she, Iz?
A: Why ask Iz, she takes miles longer! By the way Jace, don't act all Jace-like when the visitors come, understand?
J: Why, because they're your boyfriend's kind?
I: Not that, because they're special. I think. They're faces cover most of their world's magazines and whatnots. They're famous, for all I know. Respected.
C: But aren't we respected, too? We saved the City of Glass.
A: Yea we did. But they went through much more. Probably. 7 books. And we're just on our 3rd.
J: So what, I'm blonde and not dumb.
I: And so is Bailey from Suite Life on Deck!
A: *rolls his eyes* Guys shut up. They'll be here in a few moments.
*A popping sound is heard and three people appear from a portal, or in the visitors' case, apparate into the room.
I: The Golden Trio! [squeal]
Harry [HP]: Good to know you know us. We're here for Robert and Maryse Lightwood.
Hermione [HG]: Sorry to appear this early.
J: Good to know you're sorry. [mimicking Harry's tone]
Ron [R]: What's with you?
A: Seems like Jace really has problems with redheads.
C: What did you just say, Alec Lightwood?
HP: Uhhhh… We're still here you know.
J: We're still aware of that, you know.
R: Really, dude, what's with you?
*Jace walks out of the kitchen*
I: Sorry about him. He's kinda off this morning 'cause I barged in when he and Clary were sleeping peacefully.
HG: It's fine. So where's Maryse?
A: Mom's not here, actually.
HP: And we came all the way from London for nothing?
*Magnus magically appears with Simon. Downworlders, in an Institute. Doesn't sound so normal, 'ayt?
Magnus [M]: Not exactly. We're having a competition in this kitchen this dawn. Which/what/who is freakin' better: The Mortal Instruments or Harry Potter? C. Clare or J.K. Rowling? Jace Wayland and whichever of his multiple surnames or Harry Potter? Clary Fray or Hermione Granger? Simon Lewis or Ron Weasley? Steles or Wands? Portals or Portkeys? Valentine or Voldemort? And the most debatable of all, sparkly me or sparkly Robert Pattinson?
A: Robert Pattinson is from Twilight! You know, those of Simon's kind. Not to mention Maia's, too.
I: What about Simon and Maia? What about them, Alec? *hysteric jealousy breakdown*
Simon [S]: Oh god, Izzy, stay calm. Breathe in, breathe out.
I: Don't breathe in breathe out me, Lewis!
C: You're such a jerk, Si. Prove your unjerkiness by getting Jace's lazy ass here. He's up the room.
HG: Harry, do we exist?
HP: You mean a Harry and Hermione? I thought you'd never bring it up 'Mione! I have liked you since first year!
HG: I didn't mean that, idiot. I mean, just look at them. We're not here.
R: Should we go back to London?
M: No, don't leave! Let's start the competition already. Well, technically it's a debate. And whoever convinces our panel of judges, wins. Now let's introduce them, shall we?
*Everyone, including the newly arrived Jace and Simon, are transported to a huge hall
Hogwarts Castle: Great Hall, 2:15 A.M.
C: Nice lighting. So shall we start?
J: You're hosting the show, too? Maggie! Why did you drag her into this?
M: Sorry Jacey-poo, Clare-bear didn't want to compete with 'ya. Already felt the shame you're gonna give her when you let our alternate universe crumble.
J: Come on, Clary! We've been through worse!
C: *loser sign* Probably. But hosting is way better! Plus, our co-hosts also include Fred and George Weasley!
*Two redheads enter with cue cards.
Fred [F] and George [G]: Hello, everybody!
A: Who's on the panel of judges?
M: Thanks for reminding. Here we are… *as they are called they appear in some way or another* Firsts on the list are… James and Lily Potter! Next is Hodge Starkweather with his good friend, Luke Garroway. 2 on 2, huh? Seems like not a side will be the judges' favorite…
C: Very true, Magnus! Now we call on the first topic of discussion. Who do you think is the better male lead? Jace Wayland/Morgenstern/Herondale/Lightwood or Harry Potter?
HP and J: Me!
F: And why is that? H comes before J so go ahead Harry.
HP: I have a lightning bolt scar.
J: I have a lot of scars – in more fascinating shapes AND! I have a star-shaped birthmark.
HP: I can fly in a broomstick and play quidditch.
J: I can fly in a demon motorcycle.
HP: And that's all you do with it?
J: Yea… Oh no, I take my girlfriend to rides! :P
HP: I defeated Voldemort.
J: I faced more than a nose-deprived version of my assumed father. By the way, I died, too.
HP: So did I. You haven't seen the latest movie installation yet? Poor you.
J: As if I'd watch your movie. I have Angel blood in me.
HP: I have a fat bank account.
J: I have Clary Fray. You don't have Hermione Granger.
G: Whoa there, gentlemen! So… Judges, a decision?
M: Best female lead?
C: Me or Hermione?
H: Both of us!
HS: We agree on their truce.
G: Next. Steles or wands?
F: Any representatives from both parties. *Isabelle and Ron raise their hands* So we have Miss Lightwood and Mister Weasley.
I: Steles. They make awesome Marks. Just look at Si right now. He's alive and well because of a Mark.
R: Wands. A ton of spells can be recited. Heck, Harry defeated Voldemort with a wand.
I: And Clary destroyed Valentine's ship with a stele.
R: Hermione fixed Harry's specs with a wand.
I: I could draw an iratze anytime.
C: There, there, guys…
Panel of Judges [POJ]: With Ronald Weasley's faulty logic, we give a point to the Shadowhunter world.
M: The more villainous villain? The two V's, Voldemort and Valentine. Anyone who shall represent their evilness?
*Simon and Harry raise their hands*
S: He sprinkled Maia with silver dust. Brutal.
I: Why is this about Maia again? *pouts*
A: Order in the Great Hall. *Sorting Hat appears*
Sorting Hat [SH]: Order in the Great Hall.
HP: He hexes random people.
S: He drained my blood.
HP: He can read minds.
S: He can summon demons.
HP: He can talk to serpents.
S: He can talk to the Angel.
HP: He had the Death Eaters.
S: He had the Circle.
HP: And didn't the Circle leave him?
F: Oh! A slip of the tongue from Lewis – a point to the Wizards and Witches?
C: Moving on to an overall discussion. TMI or HP?
M: Representatives, please?
*Everyone from both sides raise hands and stand.
J: I'm on the cover.
HP: I'm on every book's cover.
I: We have varying covers!
HG: We have seven books.
I: Ugh. We only have three.
S: Errrr… There are more than types of people in our story.
R: Kindly enumerate?
J: Shadowhunters. SHs with demon blood, with angel blood, with both. Downworlders: the Night Children, the Fair Folk, the Children of the Moon, and the Children of the Lilith. Mundanes. A total of… eight.
R: Ugh. I don't want to count.
I: The Institutes are awesome.
HG: The Hogwarts Castle is better.
J: There's only one of your castle, many of our Institutes.
HP: We have moving stairs and talking portraits.
I: We have glass towers and a hallucination-inducing lake.
R: We have a philosopher's stone, a chamber of secrets, a prison in Azkaban, a goblet of fire, the Order of the Phoenix, a half-blood prince and deathly hallows.
S: We have various cities: of bones, of ashes, of glass, of fallen angels, of lost souls, of heavenly fire.
J: Plus, we have collectibles, too! A mirror, a cup, and a sword. All mortal. By the Angel! They're the main points of the title!
POJ: Halt! Halt! Halt!
LG: We shall stop this… whatever this is.
M: Wait! Last question. Sparkly me or Sparkly Robert Pattinson?
J/C/S/I/A/HP/HG/R/F/G/POJ: He's from Twilight!