It was the warning shot, ringing through Shibusen like the bell that sang between classes.
It was the rumor, spreading like a virus from class to class, leaving no ear untouched.
It was the war that they waged, fighting with words and practical jokes.
It was the prank war, fought between meister and Death Scythe, dragging the entire school down into the fight with them. Green verses red, blonde verses silver, girl verses boy. Years into the future, students would whisper about the epic battle in worshipful tones, pointing them out as they strode down the hall.
"Is that them?"
"I heard he replaced her shampoo with hair dye."
"Supposedly she dyed all his underwear pink."
"No way! That's awesome!"
"Excactly! I wonder how it all started…"
How it started was on a warm fall day in Nevada. It was peaceful, quiet (well, as quiet as a school could be), and no one suspected a thing. Especially not Soul "Eater" Evans as he strode down the hall, shoulders thrown back and hands in his pockets as he headed to collect his meister from her English class. He stared forward, avoiding eye contact with any of the giggling girls on the sideline as much as humanly possible.
"YO SOUL!" The albino teen stopped, rolling his eyes once before turning around to face the blue-haired midget with a god-complex.
"Hey BlackStar," he said, his rough voice sounding bored and cool. BlackStar jumped into his face, his lips pulled back in a giant shit-eating grin.
"Bet you're glad a God like me would come and walk with you to collect tiny tits from her boring class!" He yelled, turquoise eyes flashing. Soul smirked and high fived his friend, both boys turning and heading down the hall once more.
"Yeah sure, that's it," Soul said with a laugh, making the girls in the hall swoon. "Where's Tsubaki? I thought you two were joined at the hip."
"Well, even Tsubaki can't be expected to stand in my shadow all the time!"
"What did you do to piss her off this time?" Black Star laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.
"I may or may not have… grabbedherassingym." Soul rolled his eyes and sighed. 'Idiot,' he thought, eyeing the ninja meister with unamused crimson eyes.
"You're excellent with women aren't you?" Just as Black Star opened his mouth to protest, the two boys noticed the entire hall had gone silent. They stood in front of the mission board, and Soul was the first to notice that instead of spread out all over everyone was crowded in the same corner.
And that they were all staring at him.
He arched a silver eyebrow, and his puzzled expression only deepened when they all started giggling at him, trying to hide their faces from his.
"Oh my god, is that him?"
"It's kind of hard to miss him."
Soul frowned, stepping towards the group, leaving Black Star behind to rant about how everyone should be paying attention to him instead of some board. He expected to have to push through the group of people to get to the board, but he was shocked when the group split in front of him like the Red Sea parting for Moses. Quirking an eyebrow, and looking warily at the people trying to conceal their giggles around him, Soul reached the board.
"-THE GREAT BLACK STAR IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOME BOARD, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA SURPASS GO-"
"WHAT THE HELL!" Black Star stopped at the sound of his friend's enraged roar. He popped his head around the wall of people and saw that the Death Scythe was standing in front of the board, teeth bared, eyes wide, and fingers pulled through his hair. Mentally wondering what could have possibly made his friend this mad, Black Star joined him at the board.
And promptly fell over laughing.
"OH MAN!" he laughed out, rolling on the floor. "SHE SURE KNOWS HOW TO GET YA'!" Posted innocently (Innocent my ass) on the board, was a single photograph. It was Soul, clearly asleep with his mouth wide and drool pouring from his mouth onto his pillow in buckets. His hair was all over the place and his shirt was pulled up over his stomach, one hand scratching his stomach. The other hand was wrapped around the neck of his guitar, which he was cuddling like a teddy bear. Under the picture was tacked a note, the handwriting neat and so clearly his meister's that Soul considered going and beating her with the whole damn board.
There is plenty more where this came from. Give me back my book.
He knew exactly what book she was talking about. Her large, hardcover edition, "Master Edition Collection of Shakespeare: All of His Works," and let me tell you, the thing was a behemoth. Soul had hidden it after a particularly nasty Maka-Chop and Maka had been cross with him the entire week that followed. But he had never expected this kind of retribution. In fact, he didn't know Maka had even taken a picture like this.
That worried him. That worried him shitless.
The fact that his meister would be this devious made his metaphorical hackles stand on end. With a snarl, he turned on his heel and stalked away from the board, everyone jumping out of the enraged Demon Scythe's way.
"Aren't you going to take that picture down?"Black Star said while he wiped away any leftover tears of mirth, catching up with Soul easily.
"That would be like admitting defeat," he snarled. "Oh no, I'm going to cover that photo." Everyone in the hall shuddered at his evil smirk. "I am going to cover that photo."
The next day, Maka walked to the board to see if the picture was still there and was met with Soul's comeback statement. A small picture of her, young at the age of 6, running down the hall of her old house with a large smile on her face being chased by her papa who wore an exasperated expression. The younger her was running around in a tank top and, this is where shit got weird, pumpkin panties. Maka's face lit up like fireworks as she heard the people around her laugh. There was a note under the picture and Maka snarled at the messy handwriting.
Two can play at this game Maka. You're on.
People would later claim to be there when Maka's face went from embarrassed to evil, her mouth twisting up in an evil smile that haunted many people in their nightmares that night. She cracked her knuckles and turned towards the corner at the end of the hall, sensing her partner's soul wavelength as easily as her own.
"YOU WANT A WAR SOUL EATER EVANS?" Maka yelled, using his surname just to piss him off (it totally worked). "WELL YOU GOT ONE! HAVE FUN WATCHING YOUR BACK FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, BECAUSE I AM GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!" She turned on her heel, ripping down both photos and notes from the board, singing quietly "All my life I've been good, but now, ooh~ I'm thinking what the hell?"
Soul smirked and leaned against the wall, tapping Maka's large book against the palm of his large, rough hand. "Not if I make your life one first."
The next week was among the most famous in Shibusen's history. The weapon and meister pair flung practical jokes at each other, never breaking, never ceasing. The two lived together, so it had become a school wide event to watch for them in the morning and see what had happened off school grounds.
The first morning, Maka came to school with her wet hair hanging down her back, what looked like flour in her ashy blonde locks and covering the front of her shirt. Soul looked fine, but he refused to open his mouth for anything. It was only when Maka tickled him mercilessly that it was revealed that his teeth were tinted green. Later that week, Soul opened his locker and was buried in an avalanche of dirty laundry (courtesy of the boy's locker room). Maka giggled evilly as she stood at her own locker, but opened it to find that all of her books had been replaced with teddy bears and pictures of Ox littering the door.
"Oh that's just wrong!" Maka hissed, slamming her locker closed. Soul smirked, pulling a jock strap off his arm.
"You want to talk about wrong? I'm pretty sure that was Black Star's." Both teens stood chest to chest snarling at each other. "You wanna stop before you get hurt little girl?" Soul growled, looking down at Maka (she cursed his recent growth spurt that had added nearly a foot to his height).
"Oh I think it's you who wants to stop. You grew up in the lap of luxury; I grew up in Death City, with Black Star. I think I have a bit more experience with puling pranks than you."
"Oh, you would be surprised what rich kids do when their bored." Both teens turned on their heels and stomped off. Maka stopped halfway and turned an ear to the end of the hall, smirking evilly. A scream came from the other hall a few seconds later and Maka turned the corner to see her partner hanging from the ceiling from his foot.
"You were saying?" she asked, batting her eyelashes innocently. She reached into the closet and pulled out a sign and bullhorn. "COME AND GET SOME LADIES! DEATH SCYTHE SOUL EATER EVANS RIGHT HERE!" Soul stopped cussing and shot Maka a horrified look, shaking at the sound of hundreds of heels running down the hall.
"MAKA! MAKA THAT ISN'T FUNNY!" A mob of girls rounded the corner and he screamed. Maka propped up the sign, advertising that she was selling time with the terrified Death Scythe for five dollars. The girls flew past her, leaving the meister with windblown hair and enough money to buy a partner's screams were drowned out by the happy cries of at least two hundred fangirls and Maka smirked as she tucked the money into her backpack.
"Any particular reason why you let the dogs loose on your partner?" Maka turned and smiled at the confused Shinigami.
"Oh hi Kidd! Yeah, it's just a little practical joke," she said, smiling warmly.
"I GOT HIS SHIRT!" one girl yelled and was promptly tackled by the other girls. Kidd looked back at Maka with horror shining in his amber eyes.
"Yeah, just a joke," he said warily, shying away from the smiling girl. The swarm of girls moved on, revealing Soul on the floor, missing most of his clothes and covered head to toe in lipstick marks. His right eye twitched violently as Kidd helped him up.
"I… cannot believe you!" he yelled. Maka simply smiled, batting her eyelashes at her irate partner. He growled at her and with a final glare, headed towards his bike wearing only his boxers. Laughing evilly, Maka walked over to the mission board where a scoreboard resided ever since the prank war had started a week ago. She uncapped the marker and made a tally on her side. The green-eyed meister took a step back and surveyed the board with a nod of her head. With that, she turned down the hall, savoring her small victory the entire walk home.
Soul stood with his back to one of Shinigami's masks (AN- you know, the ones that make up the school) the next morning, glaring heatedly at every girl that passed. The rest of his friends stood with him, watching him warily.
"So, what's your comeback move?" Black Star said, bouncing up and down excitedly. For once, Black Star didn't care that he wasn't the star, it was just too damn interesting.
"Stole all of her clothes and replaced them with Blair's crap," the Death Scythe said with a large smirk. All of his friend's but Black Star stared at him, their jaws on the floor.
"I-I don't know how to deal with this!" Chrona wailed, clutching his head. Tsubaki had her hands over her mouth, gasping in shock. Black Star and Patti were rolling on the floor laughing, and both Kidd and Liz stared incredulously at the albino teen.
"You are out of your mind, you know that right?" Kidd said, his voice remaining calm and monotonous even though he was panicking on the inside.
"Not to mention sadistic," Liz added, shaking her head. Soul just smiled, but his smile faltered when he heard a collective gasp from the stairs. He turned his head, prepared to laugh at his meister, but the laughter died in his throat as she appeared, pissed as all hell. As she stomped past the other students, she could feel their eyes on her and her face went red. She had waken up to find only a pair of leather pants, leather jacket, and a bikini top made out of some weird purple material, and needless to say, she had gone ballistic. But Maka had a perfect attendance record to uphold, and so with all of her blood rushing to her face, she threw on the skimpy (and unbelievably tight) outfit and walked to school.
Soul felt the blood begin to trickle from his nose, and he quickly threw up his hand to cover his nosebleed. This had been a bad, BAD (GENIUS) idea, and this was only confirmed by the look on Maka's face.
'Oh wait, that's the point,' he thought. "Hey Maka, love the new look!" he called out, wiping his nose quickly.
"You cocky son of a-" Soul flew back at least ten feet when Maka hit him hard in the face, holding a roll of dimes in place of her brass knuckles (Blair took them away after she had used them on Spirit) and punching him as hard as she possibly could. As she lunged forward to take another swing at her now bleeding partner, the other girls in the group grabbed her arms, holding the enraged girl back. "THERE WAS A LINE SOUL! AND YOU JUST CROSSED IT!" she shrieked, her face red. Soul stood slowly, holding his swollen cheek but still smirking widely.
"You think that was crossing the line? Try throwing your PARTNER to the god damn DOGS," he growled out. With a snarl, Maka broke out of the female weapons' grip, ignoring the girls' protests. She stalked forward and when she was a foot away from the taller boy, she held out her hand expectantly. Soul looked down at her palm and quirked a silvery eyebrow. "You want a high five or something-"
"I want my clothes back," she growled out, emerald fire burning in her eyes. Soul's smirk only grew as he reached forward and patted his irate meister on the head.
"Well you'll have to wait until school's out babe," he said condescendingly, a wide, shit-eating smirk on his face.
Of course Maka wiped that grin off his face pretty quickly when she reached behind him and yanked mercilessly on his boxers, giving the Death Scythe a wedgie that rivaled those that BlackStar so often handed out.
"Isn't that against the rules or something?" Liz said quietly. Both Maka and Soul snapped their heads around to look at the demon pistol.
"Yes, harming the opponent results in a loss of five points," Kid said in a very business-like tone. The color quickly drained from Maka's face and Soul punched the air victoriously.
"YES!" he yelled happily, smiling widely. "PUT THAT IN YOUR JUICE BOX AND SUCK IT!" Maka glared heavily at him and considered hitting him again, but losing 10 points in one day would put her too far behind, so instead she walked away calmly, heading towards the locker rooms where she could grab her gym shirt to change into.
Her revenge on Soul would have to wait for another day.
This was totally necessary.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS GUYS! Don't get pranked too hard!
Next chapter will be up sometime next week, but DTMOB update comes first. Then I'm going to be focusing on AG for a while.
Believe it or not, I do not own Soul Eater. Shocker, I know.