Summary: The good news? Puck and Rachel are totally in love. The bad news? They both think the opposite. The worst news? Sam and Santana have a plan to get them together. And exactly what are Quinn and Blaine up to?

Pairings: eventual Puckleberry and established Klaine. Featuring Puck/Blaine/Sam friendships, Faberrtana friendships, Samtana friendship

Warnings: It's a future fic but is pretty canon up to the most recent episode, 'Original Song'. I've obviously spun things my way so it'll most likely be AU once the show returns. So it's probably safe from spoilers.

Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form own Glee despite my continued efforts.

Author's Note: I've been trying to work on Being Rachel Berry but I've hit a bit of a writer's block. I've got one chapter written and then it's a whole lot of nothing. Somehow this story came to fruition from my failed attempts at trying to write that story. I have a definite number of chapters planned out. And hopefully no writer's block will get in the way.


Phase 1: Recon

Santana Lopez sat with a magazine held high enough that to the average person she appeared to be reading, but low enough that it served her true purpose. And that was to spy on her target sitting at the table opposite the sofa she was casually sprawled across. Every now and then her eyes would dart down to the magazine in her hands before drifting back up to her unassuming victim. The sole focus of her attention was none other than her best friend, well the female one at any rate. She had been noticing that something was terribly wrong with Rachel for days now. She was using the plastic smile she used all the time when they were in glee. Santana thought she had seen the last of that smile when they graduated. But it had made its unwelcome return this week and she was not having that shit.

Of course, Rachel might have been acting off but that wasn't stopping her from being as stubborn as always. Santana had tried every trick in the book to get through to her best friend but to no avail. Rachel just wasn't talking and Santana was completely at a loss as to what she was supposed to be doing. She was even contemplating going to Quinn for advice on how to get through to Rachel and the thought of that alone made her shudder. She'd stick with the stalking and observations for awhile.

Rachel shifted and leaned back against her chair. "Santana, can I ask that if you're going to continue watching me, please move a little closer as it is very distracting having to look over that far."

Santana tossed her ignored magazine to the side and glared at her friend. "Why don't you just tell me what the hell is wrong with you so I wouldn't have to keep watching you."

Rachel looked over her shoulder to meet the Latina's gaze. "Nothing is wrong with me."

"Now why don't I believe you?" Santana paused. "Oh, I know! Because I'm your roommate! I'm the one that you practice lines on. I know when you're acting. Hell, I know when you're putting up every fake face in the world because there was a time I was the cause behind those masks! I know how you operate, Rachel. And right now you might be a lot of things, but fine isn't one of them."

Rachel shifted again and looked away. Santana knew this was her opening and she was going to take full advantage of it. "Come on, Rach. We're supposed to be best friends. You're supposed to be able to tell me anything. It's like my job or something. Besides you're always there for me." Rachel gave her a half smile and joined her on the sofa. Santana flicked her on the arm and smirked. "So what's going on?"

"It's just that…" Rachel exhaled softly and looked down at her hands. "Noah is avoiding me."

"What? Why would you think that?

Of all the things it could have been, that was not what Santana was expecting. She arched an eyebrow as Rachel muttered something under her breath. She elbowed her friend until she repeated it louder. "Because he figured out how I feel about him."

"And how do you feel about him?"

"I love him."

Santana was beyond confused by this point. "Why would he be avoiding you because of that? You love all of us. You tell us that every day. It's a little weird. But it's one of your things."

"No, San. I love him love him."

A moment of silence passed over the two young women that seemed to stretch on for hours as realization settled over the former Cheerio. Her mouth opened and closed several times before she finally settled only what to say.

"Oh."

Rachel let out a deep breath. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Now you're probably going to avoid me too," she started to get up but Santana grabbed her arm.

"Hey, slow your roll, midget. I'm not going to avoid you because you're in love with Puckerman. You're still my bestie and you always will be no matter who you fall in love with. Even if it's Blaine again but seriously how many times can you try and turn a gay man straight?" Rachel smiled tearfully. "Now, why do you think he knows that you love him like that? This is Puck, we're talking about. Three years of college has not made him any less emotionally retarded."

Rachel tucked a strand of hair behind her head. "It was a few days ago. You know that I have that workshop in the fall and we're supposed to be composing an original song about love. Well Noah has been helping me write while we're here. Anyway, I guess I got a little worked up, and I started crying or something." She flushed and Santana knew she was expected to laugh but all she could think about was smashing the heads of whoever made her best friend sad in the first place. Seeing this, Rachel continued her story.

"Anyway, Noah just came over and hugged me. And it felt… right. His arms felt good around me. And I felt safe and I realized that I love him. And I think… that I might have said it out loud."

"Oh."

"After that he got really tense and then pulled away really quickly. He left the room and I haven't been in a room with him for more than five seconds since then."

Santana rested her hand on Rachel's knee. "Rach, babe, I think you might be making this out to be way worse than it really is. It's Puck! He probably didn't even know what you meant by that. And he's probably not avoiding you. He might be busy. I know that he's been obsessing over those new plans his professor sent him."

"Maybe," Rachel agreed quietly. She slouched down further on the sofa clearly deep in thought. Suddenly the door to the den swung open and Santana looked over her shoulder to see the boy in question standing in the doorway. His eyes were darting around the room, clearly searching for something. Clearly whatever he was looking for was not there as he started to relax. That is until Rachel sat up to see who was in the room.

A total look of panic filled Puck's eyes as his hazel gaze landed on Rachel. His mouth opened before slamming shut. He bolted out the door before either of the two women could react. Rachel turned back around and stared at her hands, willing away tears that were sliding down her face carelessly. "You see? He can't be in a room with me. He knows how I feel and he hates me." Her voice cracked, putting an end to Santana's resolve against hugging.

"Hey, it's okay, B. If that's the reason why he's avoiding you, then we'll work it out. Just don't worry about it anymore. We'll figure it out, I promise." She sat back on the seat, pulling Rachel with her. They stayed in that position for awhile enjoying the peace that they sometimes only found with one another. Finally, after Rachel's quiet sobs slowed down, Santana pulled back in order to get more information.

"Let's see if I can piece this together. You've probably been in love with Puck since that whole week of dating back in high school but then there was the whole Beth/Quinn thing. Then you were with St. Douche and Finn. Then he was with Lauren. Then you were with Finn again. And then there was she who shall not be named less I go and cut that bitch."

The bitch in question was the two year mistake known as Shelly Meyers. She invaded their lives mid freshmen year at an open mike night held at their school. Puck lost a bet with Santana and was forced to perform solo. If Santana had known all that would come from that performance, she would have settled for forcing him to attend classes in a dress as was suggested by Blaine. Shelly heard him sing and melted. The worst part was that he melted as well. For the better part of two years, Puck was hooked on Shelly. Too bad Shelly was hooked on several others as well. They had only just now managed to get Puck almost back to normal. Their summer vacation at the Fabray family summer home was a large part of the plan to get him over Shelly. Nowhere in there did Santana think that she was going to have to get Rachel over Puck.

"Now you're both single," Santana finished up. "And you're completely confused."

Rachel gave her a weak smile that was still brighter than anything she had managed that week. "Anyone ever tell you know you know me so well?"

"Just you, once or twice. Oh, and your dads, like every day. I think we used to scare them senior year."

Rachel snickered. "We did. They said they were glad we spent the majority of our years at each other's throats because they couldn't imagine the chaos we would have caused if we had teamed up sooner."

"That will always be my biggest regret," Santana said wistfully. "We could have run McKinley."

"As opposed to how we totally ran McKinley in the end?"

"Yeah, in the end. If we had just realized that we're practically the same in the beginning we could have had that whole school on their knees freshmen year."

Rachel rolled her eyes but this time her smile was more genuine. "Thanks, San. For you know…"

"No, thanks," Santana shrugged. "We're besties. It's what we do. Besides you're the only one that takes my problems seriously."

"That's because most people wouldn't see the CW's refusal to cancel '90210' as a legitimate problem."

"Most people don't, but you do. That's all I really need," Santana grinned broadly. This succeeded in putting a much needed real smile on Rachel's face. Satisfied with this, Santana clapped her hands together. "Let's go out. To like the movies or something. I've been dying to see that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie."

"Alright, but I know how he gets you all hot and bothered. If you end up in my bed again by 'accident', I'm totally telling Brittany."

Santana narrowed her eyes. "You do and I'm totally telling Puck about you know what."

Rachel gave her a betrayed look. "You'd really tell him about how I feel."

"Not that, midget. It's actually way worse than that." She leaned forward. "I'll tell him about Mr. Wubbies."

Rachel's eyes widened before narrowing in rage. "You wouldn't dare."

"All's fair in war, bitch!" Santana sprang up from her seat. "I wonder if Mr. Wubbies is in his usual hiding spot. Oh, I know! Let's go find out!"

With that, Santana raced out of the room and towards the bedroom Rachel had claimed as her own, intent on finding Rachel's beloved stuffed animal. She heard her best friend racing after her screaming threats of bodily harm and various others insults that shouldn't be repeated in polite company, much less coming out of Rachel Berry's mouth. Santana was so proud.


While Santana was comforting a depressed Rachel in the den, a panicked Puck was backpedaling away from the room as quickly as possible, which is why he failed to notice Sam coming up behind him until he found his backward motion stopped. He whirled around to find a highly amused Sam standing behind him.

"Hey, dude. What's up?"

"Interesting question," Sam grinned. "What are you running away from?" he started to walk towards the den but Puck pulled him back. "Still avoiding Rachel, huh?"

Puck narrowed his eyes at his so called best friend, well the male one anyway. This whole people knowing him better than he knew himself thing was getting really old. He never had this problem when he was best friends with Finn. Primarily because Finn was too self absorbed to even realize that there were other people with feelings out there.

He sighed and ran a hand over his head. It was times like this that he really missed his Mohawk. "Look, if I tell you this, you have to promise not tell anyone. And I mean anyone, not even Blaine or Rachel. Especially not Rachel."

"Lips are sealed," Sam promised, making a zipper motion across his lips. "So what's going on?"

"Lips aren't exactly sealed if you're still talking, dude."

"Puck," Sam said, warning clear in his tone.

Puck groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Ok, so I fucked up."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay… that was purposely vague. What did you fuck up?"

"Probably my life, Rachel's life, and pretty much our lives in general," Puck laughed bitterly. "I fucking fell in love with her."

"In love with who? With Rachel?" Sam asked, answering his question. Still Puck was inclined to answer as well. He gave a weak nod before bowing his head. Sam could see the weariness hanging over his friend. Sensing that this conversation was a lot heavier than it should be standing in front of the den, he ushered his friend upstairs to his room.

"Now," Sam began once Puck was sitting on his desk chair. "When did all this start? Because you've been acting pretty weird all week."

"It's been longer than that," Puck replied, quietly. "I think... no, I know I've been in love with Rachel since we were freshmen in high school. Its part of the reason I threw a slushy at her. I didn't want other guys seeing what I saw. What I still see in her."

"I always wondered about the slushies."

"I never said I was the smartest guy around. I really thought she would be able to see what I really meant by throwing the slushy. There is a reason that Satan calls me an emotional retard. But anyway, I knew that I felt something for her. But it wasn't until we dated for that week that I knew that I loved her. I really love her. But she was always with someone else. First it was Jesse St. Jerkface and then it was Hudson. And now…"

"Now, you're both single. So what's the problem? Why are you avoiding her?"

"You know that workshop shit she's got in the fall?" Sam nodded. "Well, I've been helping her write her song. Anyway, we were working on it and she just started crying out of nowhere. So I was like hugging her because you know… crying girl. Crying Rachel. So I hugged and it felt so right, dude. Like I was meant to do that. And then she just says, 'thanks, Noah. I really love you.

"That's when it hit me. She'll never think of me as more than just her friend. I'm not like Finn or Jesse or any of the guys she's shown interest in. I'm not nice like Finn. I'm not like Jesse either. I don't understand that musical shit. I still call it that musical shit!"

Sam shrugged. "That's never stopped you before. You've never been scared to put yourself out there."

"I guess that I just don't have it in me anymore."

Sam ran a hand through his hair and sighed in understanding. Shelly. If there was ever a time in his life that he wanted to punch a girl in the face, it would've been the day that she ripped his best friend's heart out. Though he would never hit a girl himself, he did feel a not so small sense of satisfaction when Santana punched the girl hard enough to almost break her nose. As Sam watched Puck mope on his chair, he wanted to drive back to the city and have Santana hit her again until she actually broke her nose.

"Look at the risk of having an even bigger chick moment than we already are, think about it this way. All those other dudes are gone. She barely talks to Finn anymore. And the last time she saw Jesse I believe she, Quinn, Kurt and Brittany were tossing hardboiled eggs at him. None of those other guys have lasted more than two dates. But you, you're still here. So that's got to say something about how she feels about you."

Puck nodded but remained unconvinced. "And even if she thinks of you as just a friend. Think about it this way, she loves Santana even though Santana is almost constantly hitting on her. I think she could handle you being in love with her." Puck gave a wan smile. "Besides, it's going to be pretty hard avoiding her when you have three classes with her this fall. It was your genius move to have her transfer to NYU from Julliard, remember?"

"Ugh, you're right," Puck grunted. "About everything. It's just that… I need some time to work through all this. You know? I gotta get this out of my system. I don't want to hurt her. And I don't want to screw up everything we've all got going on here. And I….."

"Don't want to get hurt again. It's cool. You can say it. I don't want you getting hurt again either. So take your time. Figure it out and just know that I'll be here as long as you need me."

Puck nodded and closed his eyes thoughtfully. When he finally opened his eyes, a ghost of his familiar smirk was on his face. "You know for a big mouthed geek, you're not so bad, Sammy."

Sam rolled his eyes and was about to retort when they heard a loud commotion in the hallway. Both young men rose and walked over to the closed bedroom door. Sam opened the door in time to see Santana racing by with a pink and blue stuffed animal clutched in her hands. Rachel was after her seconds later, screaming about dumb Mexican whores and something about Mr. Wubbies. She succeeded in tackling the former Cheerio a few feet away from where Sam and Puck stood. After a few minutes of tickling her fallen opponent, Rachel succeeding in liberating the stuffed toy and sauntering back into her room with her prize held safely in her arms.

"Everyone in this house is insane."

Puck arched an eyebrow. "You're just not realizing that? Maybe you need to open your eyes as wide as that mouth of yours."

"And on that note," Sam huffed and pushed his friend out the door. "Get out."

"Love you too, Sammy!" Puck shouted to the closed door. He grinned and turned around to see Rachel coming out of her room again. Time seemed to stretch on for the pair as they stood staring at each other. Puck fought the urge to go to her. His hand twitched and he clutched it into a tight fist. Just as Rachel finally worked up the nerve to approach him, Puck mumbled an excuse that sounded feeble to his own ears before pounding on Sam's door. His friend let him in after catching sight of Rachel over his shoulder without a word.


Sam paced back and forth contemplating his actions very carefully. What he was about to do violated the bro code but he couldn't just let this be. Puck was like his brother and that meant that he had to do something about this situation. Even if it meant making a literal deal with Satan herself. Sure Santana was sarcastic, bitchy and intensely insane but she was also Puck's best friend with the side benefit of being BFF with Rachel. If there was anyone he could talk to about this it would be Santana. Besides his actual first choice was verbally negated by Puck and had a bad habit of gossiping to his boyfriend who had a worse habit of gossiping to the entire world. So no, Blaine was out and Santana was in. Telling her would be okay. Or at least that was what he would keep telling himself to help him sleep at night.

"Trouty mouth, stop pacing and tell me what you want already," Santana ordered, never lifting her gaze from the LSAT guide on her lap. Sam opened his mouth to reply but suddenly had second thoughts. And then third. Finally, he settled down beside his ex-girlfriend. She looked up and poked him on the shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"What would you do if someone told you something that was supposed to be a secret but you thought it was bad for them and everyone around them?"

Santana looked intrigued and the study guide was quickly abandoned to the floor. "Well, I guess I would look for the closest person I could trust with this secret and tell them absolutely everything right then and there," she paused and looked at him through her eyelashes. "You trust me. Right, Sammy?"

"A little less when you look at me like that."

"If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," Santana promised with a singsong tone. "And mine is a good one. It's all about unrequited love and all that epic shit."

"Damn it, Puck told you too? He totally made it seem like I was the only one."

"Puck? I was talking about Rachel."

"Rachel?"

Santana's eyes widened and she was suddenly standing. "Oh my god! Puck is in love with someone that doesn't love him back too? This someone wouldn't happen to be Rachel would it?"

Sam sat quietly for a few minutes contemplating the right way to answer that. If he nodded, he wasn't exactly telling so much as confirming Santana's already correct suspicions. On the other hand, this was Santana. Come to think of it, this whole plan wasn't well thought through. Santana was only considered the second most insane member of the New York gleeks because she hadn't sent someone to a crack house. However, one did have to wonder where Rachel learned about the crack houses in the first place. Wait, Santana was still talking. It didn't pay to not be listening when she was talking with that look in her eye.

"This is perfect! Puck loves Rachel and Rachel loves Puck!"

"Who said Puck loves Rachel?" Sam asked weakly. "I didn't say that and what makes you think that Rachel loves Puck?"

"Well," Santana shrugged. "I guess since you're not telling me that Puck loves Rachel, I'm not telling you that Rachel loves Puck"

Sam's brow furrowed as he tried to process what his former girlfriend was saying. "But you just did."

"Shut it, Bieber! The point is that they're both clueless and hopelessly and pathetically in love with each other. There is only one logical thing we can do here."

Sam sighed heavily. He knew this was going to come back and bite him in the ass. He was so going to Blaine the next time something like this happened. "Tell them everything and let them work it out for themselves?" he asked, hopefully.

"Of course not!" Santana said sounding scandalized. "If we tell them they will never trust us again. Could you really live knowing that Puck and Rachel hate you because you couldn't keep that big mouth of yours shut and told me, me of all people, everything? Probably less than an hour after he told you too."

"It was an hour and a half," Sam protested feebly. "So what do we do then? Just let them go on avoiding each other?"

"Nope! We help them."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to like this am I?"

"What's there not to like? How can you doubt me?" she asked, a little too innocently.

"Ask me that again when we're allowed back in the Aquarium and the restraining order against the seal trainer expires."

"Britt wanted to free the seals," Santana shrugged as if the madness and chaos that resulted in him, Brittany, Santana, Puck and Blaine being ruled as persona non grata at the New York Aquarium was normal. Then again he remembered who he was dealing with. Really all of this was his fault. He should have just stayed in Ohio.

"Come on, Sam! Don't you want to help Puck?"

"What are you thinking?"

"We're just going to push them together. That's all. Stick with me, Sammy. By the end of the week, they'll be happily together and they'll never know that you can't keep a secret."

"Me?" he squeaked. "Why is this my fault? And who said I was even agreeing to actually helping you?"

"Oh, you'll help or I'll tell Puck that I know because you told me." Sam winced. "You've seen how Puck can get when he feels betrayed and angry. The man participated in a Fight Club for fun."

What Santana was leaving out but Sam was all too aware of was another incident during their senior year of high school. It was right after Blaine had left the Warblers and had transferred to McKinley. He and Kurt were walking down the hallway when a few of the hockey players decided to meet with them. Puck had seen the whole thing from where he stood unobserved in the hallway and decided to mess back. The hockey jerks had bruises for months and it was made clear from that day forward that Kurt, Blaine and all of the gleeks were off limits. The best part was that Puck hadn't even touched a single one of the team. He instead organized the other football players.

Sam was all too aware of the calculating mind that lurked under Noah Puckerman's no longer mohawked head. He knew that Puck was fully capable of extracting very calculated ad horrible revenge on anyone who he felt may have wronged him. The smirk playing across Santana's lips let him know that she was fully aware of this as well.

"Okay! I'm in. Just so you know, you're going to make a great lawyer, Satan. You've already got the evil and manipulative part down. So what's the first step?"

Santana's eyes darkened in the thought. Sam was certain that the cat that ate the canary could not look as smug as the former Cheerio did in that moment.

"The first step is research, Sammy. In order to get this plan in motion, we've got to study the classics. We're off to the library of the greatest schemes and plots in history."

"And that is?"

"The video store, dumbass. Where else?"

Sam groaned but shuffled off to find his sneakers and car keys. "This is only going to end in bloodshed and tears."


*Did you like? Let me know what you think or if there is any interest in more.