The Prompt: Hawke's mabari has territorial issues with Hawke's new lover. Hijinks ensue.

Pairing: AndersxHawke (Dog)

Timeline: Early relationship

Word Count: 345 (Microfill)


Maker, he hated that animal.

This would be the third time this week he'd be opening the clinic smelling faintly of dog piss. One of the patients had even mentioned it yesterday.

Do you…do you smell that? It kind of smells like…The Hanged Man.

And although it was true, smelling like "The Hanged Man" meant you could smell like any number of things- none of them were pleasant and he refrained from asking her to clarify.

Sanitation issues aside, there was a piece of Anders that still longed to impress Hawke. He knew he wasn't a bad-looking man by any standards and since wooing her on personality(ies) alone was out of the question, he had to rely on his other Maker-given gifts.

But one could only be so impressive when smelling of urine.

This had to be done delicately. He didn't think taking this to Hawke was a good idea, he saw the way she'd lovingly scratch behind his ears, or share bits of her meal when she thought no one was looking. It was also pretty clear she'd been letting the beast sleep with her on the nights he wasn't there if the drool marks were anything to go by.

He felt a downward pull in his stomach just thinking about it.

Ugh. The things he endured for that girl- she just had no idea.

Still, he wasn't a coward (not really) and he'd be damned if he'd let some dog intimidate (relieve himself) him (his coat). There was only one way to deal with this and Maker knew it was going to get ugly.

The dog was already eyeing him by the door, as if he were waiting, as if he knew.

Anders strode right up to him, chest puffed out as far as he could make it (because it would just be asking too much for Justice to turn up the intimidation factor a bit and start the glowy-thing), pointed a finger at the beast's face and threw out his challenge.

"You and me. The Hanged Man. Wicked Grace. All or nothing."


a/n: Probably not to specifications, but meh, t'was fun. Hopefully, everyone remembers the VarricxDog scene where Varric talks about Dog's WG game, otherwise, this probably seems pretty silly.

.I guess it's kind of silly anyway. Oh well.