A/N- That's right, I'm jumping on the SerialKiller!Klaine train/bandwagon. Hopefully you shall hop aboard too, if you're not already on. I own nothing. I just like to make Kurt and Blaine do sick, twisted thing to each other and random victims. Rated M for graphic blood, gore, murder, self-harm, cannibalism, sex, swearing, and general insanity. Not for the kiddies. I mean it. This is more graphic than Sweeney Todd.

Kurt awoke that morning with a huge smile on his face, having a feeling this was going to be the best birthday yet. There was a wonderful smell enveloping him, the scent of a freshly blood-soaked pillow stuffed under his head. He buried his face in it, reveling in the aroma of fear, the metallic taste of a new victim. Kurt sighed, silently thanking whoever the hell was listening for blessing him with a boyfriend like Blaine.

Reluctantly, he stood, in only boxers and a t-shirt, with blood still coving his face, and headed to the kitchen. However, there was a trail of flesh leading in the opposite direction, and upon closer inspection, Kurt discovered it to be fingers, all pointing to their special room. He giggled, appreciating the creativity and humor Blaine put into it. Following the trail, Kurt was lead to a small, circular chamber with a drain in the very middle. On top of the drain stood his boyfriend, in front of three people, naked, gagged, and chained to the ceiling and floor, all below a banner that read 'Happy Birthday' in dripping red blood.

Kurt felt a grin about to break his face. "You really went all out this year, did you?" He stepped closer, placing his hands on Blaine's waist.

"It gets better," Blaine pecked him on the cheek, then turned to the man in the middle and gestured to him.

It took Kurt a second to realize who was behind the mask of fear and the ball gag. "Karofsky?" He turned back to Blaine, kissing him full on the mouth. "How did you...?"

"Let's just say I know a guy," They both got a chuckle out of that. "Do you like it?"

"I love it. I love you." Kurt sighed. "It's perfect." Blaine handed him his favorite knife, a small Swiss Army blade that he'd killed his first victim with, which he took happily. Grabbing Blaine's arm, he carefully carved a small heart just below his wrist. They both hissed in pleasure, watching the blood drip for a moment before Kurt put the gash to his mouth and sucked, groaning as Blaine's lifeblood slowly seeped into his mouth. After a moment, he dropped his arm and stepped closer to the boy who'd made his life a living hell not too long ago, untying his gag. "Hello David! How nice of you to join me on my birthday! Did you get me a gift?"

"Fuck..." Dave whimpered at the half-crazed look in his eyes.

"I'll take that as a no... But it's okay, Davey! You can be my present!" Kurt smiled, running the tip of his blade over his leg before driving it in just above his knee. Karofsky howled in pain at blood squirted out harshly. Kurt's grin expanded and he repeated the motion with the other leg. He paused. "Who else did you bring me?"

Blaine gestured to a large, limp, black boy. "Azimio." Karofsky whimpered again at the mention of his best friend. "And Finn."

Kurt sighed again, the tone laced with happiness. He slashed a small wound on his index finger, holding it up to Blaine and letting him slurp the blood from it. "You are the best."

"I know. Do you want anything special for breakfast?"

"Waffles sound good. By the way, nice job on the fingers. Very creative. Whose were they?"

"They were left over from that woman last week. The blood on your pillow was fresh from Finn, though. I tried not to make the wound too noticeable."

"You can help, you know."

"Really?"

"Of course. I want to share my present. But Davey..." he turned to the ex-jock. "You're all mine." He slashed the boy's calf slowly, reveling in the screams drawn from his tormentor, the begs and pleas for mercy. Kurt smirked cruelly, knowing exactly what to do now. He drew the knife back up his leg, never removing it from contact with the homophobe's skin, and began to carve words.

Gay.

Homosexual.

Faggot.

Queer.

"Please, stop, I'm sorry, I'm s-s-sorry, Kurt."

"Sorry for what, Davey? Making my life a living hell? Telling me you were going to kill me? Sort of like what I'm doing now?" Kurt's voice was tight, controlled.

"W-what?"

Kurt laughed. "You don't honestly think I'm going to let you go, do you?" Looking into his former bully's eyes, he found that to be exactly true, and laughed harder. "Oh, god, I always knew you were stupid, but really?" He rewarded this stupidity with a slow, deep cut to the face, right across his cheek. Almost lovingly, he caressed the bleeding jaw, smearing blood everywhere. Taking Karofsky's hand, Kurt deliberately began to saw at the fingers. Screams filled the room, long and agonized, but the 'Vitamin D' Blaine had slightly overdosed him on wouldn't allow him to pass out.

Blaine just sat back and watched. He loved to see Kurt in control like this, every move perfectly calculated to draw the maximum amount of agony. Each cut of the knife dug deeper, never hitting an artery or vein, careful not to let too much blood spill out that he would die before the fun was over. Kurt was stunning mid-murder. It only served to make Blaine harder.

Kurt put the knife to his lips and licked it. It tasted bitter with fear and pain, just the way he liked it. He glanced over his shoulder at his lover. "Feel free to join in anytime you want to, babe."

"I thought you didn't want to share." Blaine beamed at the bloody face he loved.

"I'm in a generous mood today." Kurt grinned back, pulling him in for a searing kiss. He moaned as Blaine bit his tongue, hard enough to draw blood. In response, he nipped at his lower lip with canines filed for that specific reason.

"Fucking fags..." Karofsky choked out behind a sob. Without breaking the kiss, Kurt shoved the knife in his shoulder and left it there. Karofsky howled in response, turning on the two boys even more.

"Fuck... want you right now," Kurt moaned, slicing at Blaine's stomach with sharpened nails.

"What about your presents?" Blaine asked, pulling out his straight razor and running it over Kurt's bare thigh, leaving a thin red line in its wake.

"They can wait. Fuck me, now." Blaine dropped to his knees in front of Kurt, licking up the blood running down his thigh. He pulled down the boxers and took the large hard-on into his mouth all at once, swallowing around it. Kurt moaned loudly, and in no time at all, he was coming with a loud groan down Blaine's throat. Blaine swallowed every drop, standing up to kiss his boyfriend once again. When they broke apart, Kurt smiled, turning back to his victims. "Best birthday ever."

A/N2- And that is what happens when you spend all night Googling "CanniBlaine" and "SerialKlaine", drink 3 cans of Monster at 3:00 in the morning, get 2 hours of sleep, and go to Starbucks. I did warn you about the graphicness. I am also now questioning my sanity in thinking of these things. It comes more natural than anything else I've ever written before and I'm starting to scare myself. Anyway, what did you think? Was it any good? Please review and tell me!