Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or anything related to it.
Author's Note: So I truly love Veronica Mars, but I am continually frustrated that things never seem to go quite right for Veronica and Logan. This story came out of me feeling bad for Logan after Veronica books it in A Trip to the Dentist. I was wondering about what the rest of his night might have been like. Well, from there, my mind started to run. I don't really know if this is any good, but I liked the idea, so here is a post-ep that goes AU from A Trip to the Dentist. It is just a one-shot with some Veronica and Logan "LoVe".
Veronica's night had quickly become one of the most surreal of her life, and that included the night Lilly's body had been found. But an hour or so after she had gotten home things were settling in slightly. Her parents had gone into the bedroom together to talk. Veronica had retreated to her own room to work through the events of the night.
While changing into her pajamas, she had begun to wonder if she had jumped to a conclusion too quickly at Logan's. What she had done clearly showed she didn't trust him, but she had meant it when she told him she did. Was that trust simply misplaced, or was she eager to have a reason not to trust him? She puzzled these questions as she made her way out to get a glass of water before going to bed.
Just as she had turned around to go back to bed, she noticed Backup staring at the door and heard an odd noise outside. She worked her way to the door and glanced out. It was nearly déjà vu to the other evening when Logan had been standing at the door, but something was slightly different. She heard his voice, think and hoarse, through the door; it was almost a whisper. "Veronica," he said, "I just need to know you're okay." Then she noticed him falter slightly. Her initial thought was that he was drunk, but something seemed off in that assessment.
Hesitantly, she opened the door slightly, and Logan stumbled again as the surface he had been leaning against moved. When he saw her, he straightened up more, "Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"
"Did who hurt me? Logan what are you talking about?" she asked.
Logan didn't even seem to really register Veronica's questions. He reached out to touch her arm. "You're okay," he said with relief. "I was so worried. I didn't think he would… but he was so mad and ranting about snooping and minding my own business, and you were gone." Logan was babbling, and Veronica couldn't even begin to follow what he was saying.
She had started to pull back when she saw him reach out for her until his face had caught more light. As soon as she could see him better she noticed that he looked like he had been in a fight; his lip was split, and he had a scratch above his eyebrow. Then she looked down at his arm and noticed a red welt forming on the back of his hand. "Logan?" she asked worried. "What happened to you?" She grabbed his hand, avoiding the injured area, and then placing her other hand on his cheek. All her doubts of Logan were disappearing seeing him standing at her door like this. "Logan," she began again, "Logan, what happened?"
"You left," he said. "I was worried." He sounded distracted and confused. "Then my dad, he…"
Logan was interrupted by a voice from Keith's bedroom. "Veronica, honey? Is someone here?" Lianne asked stepping out into the hallway.
Veronica closed the door more, so Lianne wouldn't be able to see who was on the other side. "Umm, just my friend Wallace. He's leaving now though. Sorry," Veronica responded turning to face her mother.
"Okay, you should go to bed soon. You have school."
"Okay mom," Veronica said, turning back and facing Logan as Lianne returned to the bedroom. "Come on," Veronica whispered to Logan, urging him into the apartment and down the hallway to her bedroom. She sat him down on the bed. "So what happened?" she asked again, sitting down next to him but keeping some distance.
Logan seemed better focused now. "I came back, and you were gone, but my dad was there, and I thought maybe…" Logan seemed to change his mind about what he was saying. "Well he was upset and ranting about me not minding my own business or respecting his property." Logan stopped. "He was mad," he finished simply.
Veronica was able to put things together; Aaron Echolls mad, Logan's banged up face, his fear for her. Suddenly, she realized how wrong she had been. She couldn't even imagine why it never crossed her mind that the cameras were Aaron's and Logan knew nothing about them. It seemed completely an Aaron Echolls thing to do, and, if she listened to her heart, she knew she trusted Logan more than that. Then it occurred to her, she must not have closed the secret cabinet up well enough. Aaron must have seen it had been opened and assumed Logan had been snooping around. "Oh my god, Logan. It's my fault," she muttered quickly.
Logan looked up at her from where his eyes had shifted to his lap. "What?" he asked. "What's your fault?" He looked deeply into her eyes. Veronica felt a shiver run down her spine. She was still surprised how Logan could affect her down to her core.
She looked at him sadly and ran her thumb over his eyebrow and the cut on his lip. "It's my fault your dad… was mad." Logan just looked at her, so she continued, "When you went to get the drink, I was waiting and noticed something in the ceiling fan. There was what looked like wiring coming from it to the shelves in the wall, so I went and looked at it." Logan was listening intently to Veronica; she wanted desperately to stop telling him the story, before she got to the part of admitting she had doubted him, but kept going. "I noticed that the shelves seemed to be secret doors, so I opened them." Veronica's eyes dropped to the floor in front of her. "That must have been what your dad was referring to."
Logan had been listening carefully. "What was behind the shelves?" he asked.
Veronica kept her eyes fixed on the floor, unable to look at Logan. "Video screens. There were two cameras in the room, pointed at the bed…" Veronica left the final thought unsaid.
Logan stayed quiet for a moment. Then he stated more than asked, "You left after you saw those."
"Yeah," Veronica said quietly.
"So you thought…" Logan couldn't finish the sentence. He joined Veronica in staring at the floor. They sat next to each other in silence for what seemed like forever.
Veronica's mind was struggling with what her actions had caused. She had always viewed doubt and suspicion as the ways to protect your heart. Assume everyone could hurt you and stay safe. Now, she was seeing the cost of that. It was breaking her heart to have Logan know she doubted him in such a massive way. Her mind was pulled from these thoughts as Logan's hand slipped into hers. He laced his fingers through hers.
"I'm so sorry. I know you may not believe me, but I wasn't lying when I said that I trusted you tonight. It just doesn't come naturally to me to trust people. I look for the proof." She realized it had just been hours before she was begging his forgiveness on another matter.
"Yeah," Logan said. "I understand." Honestly, he didn't see much reason to trust people either, but for him, Veronica was the clear exception. "Maybe we can be each other's exceptions," he said, voicing the thought. Veronica simply nodded. Neither of them had turned to look at the other yet, but Veronica had let her sight drift to their clasped hands.
She was brought back to the moment when she saw the welt, which was now a crimson red. "Oh Logan," she said running her fingers across it gently.
"It's nothing," he responded quickly.
"What did he…?" she began to question.
"His belt," Logan answered as if he predicted her question.
Veronica's mind began to work quickly. A belt was not something you pulled out to hit someone across the hand. She puzzled it through her mind, figuring that his hand must have simply gotten in the way. Turning to face Logan, she reached up and placed her hands on his chest under his button-up shirt.
Logan saw the sad look in her face, but where such a look would usually anger him as pity, from Veronica he just saw love and compassion. He didn't stop her as she slowing pushed his shirt from his shoulders and down his arms letting it drop on her bed behind him. She noticed another welt on his upper arm just beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. She ran her fingers over it before moving her hands to the base of his t-shirt and working it up over his head carefully.
Normally, being undressed by Veronica would have Logan's mind in only one place, but this moment was so very different.
Now that he was sitting shirtless, Veronica urged Logan to turn away from her, so she could examine his back. Her breath caught, and she closed her eyes, thankful that Logan couldn't see her reaction. His back was covered in thick red welts running almost the entire width of his back, some at angles, crisscrossing each other. What disturbed her more than anything was the number of subtle scars she noticed from long ago beatings. She wondered how many times she had missed noticing this when she, Logan, Lilly, and Duncan had been swimming or at the beach.
Logan was trying not to think about what Veronica was seeing looking at his back. He'd never talked to Veronica about this, though he knew she knew. She was observant enough and had heard what Trina had said at the Sunset Regent. There was no way she hadn't put it together long before in that moment. He started to turn away to face her again, but her hands gently on his shoulders stopped him.
"Lie down," she said, "on your stomach." Before he could even begin to change position, he felt her weight lift off the bed. Logan obeyed and lay down. The cool air felt good on his sore back. He casually took the moment to glance around Veronica's room, but before his eyes could make it far she came out from her bathroom carrying a bottle.
"You don't have to…" Logan began. "I'll be fine. It isn't that big of a deal. There isn't a lot you can do for this anyway…"
"Just soothe it," Veronica interrupted. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. If it weren't for me…"
Logan pushed himself up on his arms as Veronica trailed off. "Don't feel guilty. That wasn't why I came over here. I came to make sure…"
"That I was okay, which just makes it worse," she said but left her reasoning for that unexplained. "Now lay down. It's just aloe, but it should at least ease some of the pain, cool it off."
As Logan lay down again and relaxed onto the bed shoving his arms under Veronica's pillow and bunching it up under his head. Veronica shifted somewhat nervously. Now faced with the execution of easing Logan's injuries, she was nervous. She felt guilty for running out on him earlier but didn't know if this was really the way to help make up for it. As Logan adjusted her pillow under his head, he murmured, "Thanks." She smiled; it was all she needed to urge her on. She moved so she was straddling Logan.
Veronica was doing her best not to get too emotional as she began to rub some of the aloe lotion over his back, starting at his lower back and working her way to his shoulders. However, when she reached his shoulders, she noticed a scar that broke down all her strength. There was a scar that must have been years old. It wasn't too long, but the cut that had yielded it must have been deep. All Veronica could think was how much she wished she could take away all this pain Logan had experienced in his life.
Logan was trying to relax and focus on Veronica's hands on his back and not what must have been going through her head. In his mind, it was his job to take care of her not the other way around. He knew there were marks from long ago on his back, and knowing Veronica, he figured she would be pretty good at deducing the cause of each. He was startled from this thought as he felt Veronica's hands leave his shoulders and, instead, felt her lips press against his skin just above his left shoulder blade.
Kissing the scar on Logan's shoulder had been complete instinct on Veronica's part. As soon as her lips had lifted from his back, He had turned his head to look at her. She smiled sadly at him, her eyes saying what her power of speech couldn't- I wish I could make it better. Logan reached his hand out and grabbed a hold of her wrist. He urged her off of him and rolled to his side his back nearly against the wall. She matched his stance and lay on her left side facing him. They didn't touch, simply stared at each other.
Veronica's eyes were questioning. She wanted to ask so many questions but couldn't bring herself to. Logan seemed to read her thoughts as he stared into her eyes. Something was pulling at him, urging him to tell her things he had never told anyone. Slowly, he opened his mouth and let out a whisper. "You're the first person to ever…" he wasn't sure how to say this, so he switched directions. "My mother, she never acknowledged it, so I'd usually just stay hurt. Once she took me to the hospital 'cause my nose was broken and another time because she thought my arm was, but other than those times. So, you're the first person to…"
Veronica didn't know if Logan knew his eyes were filling with tears, but she had realized hers were as soon as she had seen his. She couldn't imagine how someone could ignore such a thing. Her hand gently reached out and ran her hand down Logan's cheek. They lay like that for a moment in silence before Logan asked, "So your mom?"
Veronica moved her hand from his face and shifted so she was slightly more on her back. "Yeah, she's back," she responded. She told Logan the story of finding her mother and the rehab center. After she finished she added, "It was what I thought I wanted."
"You don't now?" Logan asked touching her arm and urging her to face him more again.
"I don't know," she admitted. "I am happy she is back, but seeing her in that bar. It had reminded me of before, before she got clean the first time."
They remained in that position for over an hour, sharing stories from their less than happy childhoods. It was funny. They had known each other for so much of that time and yet had so little knowledge of the other's life. Each had gotten braver and more comfortable. They asked questions of the other and shared more openly.
"When was the first time…?" Veronica asked somewhat more hesitantly.
"I was in first grade, I think I was 6," Logan began. "My parents were having a dinner with some director my dad was trying to impress and his wife. They had been talking about how they wanted to have children and had insisted to my parents that Trina and I join everyone for dinner. After awhile at the table, I was getting fidgety or something and was playing with my spoon like it was an airplane. You know like making motor noises and flying it around." Logan pretended to have something in his hand and imitated the action. Bringing a smile to Veronica's face for the first time in their conversation. "Anyway," Logan continued, "the maid was bringing out a soup dish, and I hit her with my arm causing the soup to spill all over both the director and his wife. Needless to say my dad wasn't happy about me ruining his chance to make a good impression."
Veronica looked at him as he laughed a bit to himself. She wondered how he could speak of it so casually. "What did he…?"
"He just hit me across the face that time," Logan said, predicting her question again. "A preview of things to come." He paused before asking, "When do you first remember knowing that your mother had a problem?"
"I was about 7, and she forgot to pick me up from school. I was still sitting on a bench in front of the school when the principal was heading home at 5. He called the house but nobody answered, so he called my dad at the station, and he came to get me. When we got home my dad told me to go to my room to play, but I sat at the top of our stairs and listened to them fight from the kitchen. My dad was yelling something about her neglecting me because she was so in love with her drink, that it was like the time I almost drown at the pool."
"What happened at the pool?" Logan asked.
"I don't remember at all. I was in pre-school, but from what I've gathered, my mom forgot to put my water wings on me, and I jumped into the deep end. Mom never noticed, and some strange man saved me."
Logan looked at her sadly but then said with a smile, "Lucky for me he did."She smiled back, and he leaned in for a quick kiss. When he pulled back, Veronica had a thoughtful expression on her face. There was one question nagging her that she was too afraid to ask. The overarching themes between the times Logan had been abused had brought an incident to her mind. She bit her lower lip.
"What is it Veronica?" Logan asked.
She began to open her mouth but stopped, closing it again.
"Veronica, it is fine. You can ask me whatever you want," Logan said. He had never told anyone the stories he had shared with Veronica that night, but telling her had made him feel good, knowing that he wasn't hiding things from her, telling someone.
Veronica was struggling with if she actually wanted to know the answer to this question, but Logan gave her a look that encouraged on. "The time I planted the bong in your locker… your dad didn't just take away your car did he?"
Logan shifted his sight away from Veronica's eyes. He almost lied to her. He knew it would make her feel better, and he wanted so desperately to keep her from hurting. At the same time, he knew how important honesty was to her, so he shook his head. "But Veronica, there was no way for you to know," he said, looking back at her face. She had her eyes closed and was shaking her head. "Veronica, I'm serious. I would never blame you for what he did. It isn't like you knew that would happen to me."
Veronica refused to open her eyes. "I'm so sorry Logan. I'd never want to hurt you like that."
Her eyes still closed, she felt Logan's lips on hers. When he pulled back, he said, "I hurt you enough during that time. I'm sorry about that, too."
Veronica opened her eyes and smiled slightly at Logan as she nodded. "I know you are," she replied. He kissed her again.
As he pulled back from the kiss, Logan looked at the clock on Veronica's nightstand. "It's late," he said. "I should go."
He began to sit up, but was stopped by Veronica's hand on his arm. "Don't go." All she could think of was him going back to the house with his father in it.
Logan gave her a smile. "Don't have to ask me twice," Logan said and lay back down. "We should sleep though," he added sweetly.
"Maybe in a bit," Veronica said with a grin at him.
She scooted closer to him and kissed him. Logan responded instantly, leaning over until Veronica was on her back and he was hovering above her. She reached up and grabbed his upper arms, being careful of his back, and pulled him closer. She ran her hands from his arms over the parts of his chest she could reach.
Logan suddenly became aware of the fact that Veronica was wearing much more clothing that he was. He pushed his weight off of her again and reached down to the hem of her top. He searched her eyes for a moment to make sure that action he was about to take wasn't unwanted. Knowing about her past made him more cautious with Veronica. She was grinning up at him, so he made quick work of pulling her shirt over her head.
Veronica had instantly missed Logan's weight on her when he had pushed himself up. When he lowered himself back down to her and kissed down her jaw line she felt chills of excitement through her whole body. As he kissed her neck, he whispered in her ear, "Is the door locked? This could be a lot worse than being caught making out on the couch by my dad, and yours owns a gun."
Veronica laughed quietly. "Yeah, I locked it when we came in. Just be quiet." She was now taking her chance to kiss Logan's neck. He rolled back to his side, pulling her with him as she moved her kisses to his chest. Logan took the opportunity to remove her bra. Soon, they were lost in each other. In the end, it was Logan who stopped things. It had surprised Veronica. He had pulled back after a passionate kiss and tucked her loose hair behind her ears. Leaning in to kiss her cheek, he said, "We should sleep now."
She nodded as Logan handed her t-shirt to her. She slipped it back over her head and looked at him. He was still laying on his right side. Veronica remained facing him. Logan ran his hand over her upper arm and pulled her to him. She buried her face in his chest and rested one hand on his chest and her other on his arm. As she did this, Logan wrapped both his arms tightly around her, placing his chin over her head.
After fifteen minutes or so of cuddling close to Logan, Veronica felt him move. "Are you asleep?" she whispered.
"Yeah," he joked, but he pulled back and smiled down at her. "What's up?" he whispered back.
"I have another question." Logan looked slightly concerned, so Veronica added, "A different topic… It's about us." It was something she had been curious about since they got together but just now felt comfortable enough to ask.
"Yeah?" Logan asked running his hand up and down her arm gently.
"When did you first think about me? You know in this way?" she asked gesturing between them with her hand.
"You mean other than when we were twelve and you were in that soccer uniform?" he asked teasingly.
She hit his chest. "Come on Logan… I'm serious."
He smirked at her. "Me too. You were hot in those shorts and socks." Then leaving the joking behind he kissed her forehead. "You're going to laugh at me. It is ridiculous."
"I won't, come on."
"I guess when I really thought about it was at Christmas time during the poker game… when you did all those dealing tricks. All I could think was, Oh my god. She is amazing. Then, being the idiot I was, I hated myself for thinking it."
Veronica smiled up at him. "Well I was an idiot, too."
"How about you? When did you first think about us?"
"Umm… I guess in the hotel. After Trina, you know, I felt like I was really seeing you, and it scared me, but I realized that I wanted to at the same time. Then you came to the dance all drunk the next night, and I realized I wanted to make things better for you." When Veronica looked up, Logan was looking at her sadly. "Then you punched out the creepy federal agent to save me, and I knew I was in for it."
"Those events were weeks apart," Logan noted.
"I'm good at living in denial. And really, the poker thing?"
"Yeah, it was badass." He smirked at her and kissed her cheek. "Come on, let's sleep. I don't get to fall asleep with a hot blonde in my arms every night."
"You don't?" she joked but cuddled closer to him again.
Veronica woke to a quiet beeping. She was sure it wasn't her alarm clock, but it woke her up just the same. As she moved to stretch a bit, she noticed something was restraining her. She smiled to herself as she remembered Logan. She had turned her back to him at some point during the night, but his arms were still wrapped tightly around her waist. He moved one arm and grabbed his phone from her nightstand and stopped the beeping. He nuzzled his face into the back of her head as he returned his arm to her waist.
Veronica shifted slightly to look at her clock. 4:15. "Logan," she whispered turning around to face him. "Why are we awake so early?"
He smiled at her and captured her lips with his quickly. "I didn't think it would go over well with your parents, me waking up here," he replied. "Figured I should clear out before anyone was awake."
"Oh…yeah" Veronica replied. "I liked you being here last night."
"I liked it too. Perhaps we can try it again another time." He sat up and scooted past her to the end of the bed. He gathered his shirts from the floor and slipped them on.
When he winced in pain, Veronica asked, "Is your back okay?"
"It'll be fine. Its been worse," he replied lightly. Veronica's face dropped and she closed her eyes. "Hey, I didn't mean to upset you. I was just trying to… you know, make it okay. It helps me."
"I just," Veronica sat up but kept her eyes from his. "I don't like the idea of you being hurt. Hearing about it and seeing it are two very different things."
"I know," Logan said, sitting down next to her. He kissed her cheek. "I should go, before your parents wake up. I'll see you at school."
"See you at school," Veronica responded and fell back down on her bed. She listened as Logan quietly let himself out of the apartment.
The End... Hope you enjoyed it.
Also, for anyone wanting a sequel to Winding Road... I am working on figuring out where to go with it.