NAME: Does Your Mother Know?
RATING: PG-13
FANDOM: Glee
CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS: one-sided Blaine/Jeremiah, one-sided Kurt/Blaine, a few OCs.
GENRE: Humour/CRACK
SUMMARY: Instead of telling Blaine off, Jeremiah sings. Set during 2x12 'Silly Love Songs.'
WARNINGS: AU, slash, OCs, weird plotlines, OOC like whoa.

STATUS: One-shot.


Blaine was nervous as he sat on the bench with Kurt. Jeremiah had told him to wait for him outside the Gap, and Blaine had obliged, hoping for the best. Kurt was silent next to him, seething slightly. Blaine hardly noticed.

When he saw the bouncing reddish hair of the older male, Blaine stood, making Kurt follow. Most of the Warblers had gone home, leaving Blaine and Kurt waiting in the cold on the bench outside the Gap.

Jermiah was followed by four girls, who were representations of each hair color. Blaine noticed each one was wearing a nametag except Jeremiah. That either meant he was off work, or he was fired. Blaine knew for a fact that Jeremiah's shift ended at five in the evening and it was now… three-forty. Uh oh.

Kurt read the nametags and was surprised: The redhead was named Reed, the blonde was Avery, the black-haired beauty was Morgan and Bailey was the name of the brunette. All very pretty in their own ways, despite the pretty unisex names.

"I thought the only way to retaliate to your advances was through something you knew best, Blaine," Jeremiah said, nodding at the girls. "These are the girls I used to work with, and they'll be seeing me off soon. For now, they're going to be my back-up, much like your school-mates were today."

And he began to sing. It only took both Kurt and Blaine three seconds to know which song it was:

"You're so hot, teasin' me
So you're blue but I can't take a chance on a kid like you
It's something I couldn't do
There's that look in your eyes
I can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild
Ah, but boy you're only a child…"

Blaine was flattered that Jeremiah thought he was 'hot.' He was a little put off, however, when Jeremiah called him a child. He would have said something, and opened his mouth to do so, when Kurt put hand on his shoulder and gave him a dirty look. Kurt didn't like when people interrupted a musical performance.

Jeremiah nodded at Kurt, thanking him with his eyes as he continued the song:

"Well I can dance with you honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?

Take it easy
Better slow down boy
That's no way to go
Does your mother know?
Take it easy
Try to cool it boy
Take it nice and slow
Does your mother know…"

The girls behind him made awesome back-up singers. It sounded like a cross between the musical version of the song and the original by ABBA themselves. It had taken fifteen minutes to put together, (Kurt and Blaine had waited 20, and five minutes had to be the supervisor firing poor Jeremiah) but it was really brilliant, especially with the four girls picking up the dancing slack (Kurt realized Jeremiah wasn't much the dancing gay as him or Blaine were).

"I can see what you want
But you seem pretty young to be searchin' for that kind of fun
So maybe I'm not the one
Now you're so cute, I like your style
And I know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile
But boy you're only a child

Well I can dance with you honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?

Take it easy
Better slow down boy
That's no way to go
Does your mother know?
Take it easy
Try to cool it boy
Take it nice and slow
Does your mother know?
Alright

Well I can dance with you honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?

Well I can dance with you honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?"

The song ended with little flare, but Kurt was clapping wildly, much to Blaine's chagrin. He stopped after a few minutes when he noticed Blaine's glare, "Either you enjoyed that, or you were in on it…" Blaine growled at him.

Kurt shrugged, "Me? Think of something like that? I would have given Jeremiah dancing lessons before hand. That was a bit drab," he told the girls, who nodded in agreement. Jeremiah gave them all looks.

"There's my answer, Blaine. I hope you have a nice life," he said, and walked off in the other direction.

Blaine was flabbergasted, but Kurt was getting the numbers of the Gap girls, promising them coffee and some dancing lessons for later in the week (maybe), as well as grading their performances (they all got 'B's, but Kurt told them that was the highest he went when grading someone who he hadn't worked with beforehand). Blaine made a frustrated noise and sat on the bench until Kurt was done.

"Tough break," Kurt finally said, sitting down next to his friend. "If you want, we can go to the Lima Bean and talk it through."

"Yeah… that would make me feel better…" Blaine replied.

Kurt patted his leg before he got up, "Come on then. Let's fix that broken heart, eh?"

Blaine just gave him a small smile and pushed himself up off the bench before leading the way to Kurt's car.


Song Used: "Does Your Mother Know" by ABBA


A/N: A review would be nice… I'm just saying. Thanks for reading (even though this was the product of an evening of Mamma Mia, I apologize).