WARNING: VERY BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD!
None of you guessed right for last chapter, but popular vote was PruCan, but it ended in CanadaxTheWorld.
Question will now be at the bottom.
Disclaimer: Forgot to say this last time, I don't own LiveJournal.
LiveJournal: I am offended! Why you no want to own me TTATT
Me: Because, *dramatic pause* I'm in love with Fanfiction!
LiveJournal: *le gasp* How could you? *slaps author across the face and runs away*
Me: Ow! You poked my eye!
Fanfiction: That's right bitch! *snaps fingers* keep your whorish hands off my author!
"Why must you ruin the super fun sexy fun times of hotness!" Hungary whined like a child who was denied the liberty of staying up late on a school night. Parallel to the girl nation's reaction, Germany sighed and grunted like a parent who was not going to take this crap 'cause he was damn tired of it and Italy was now making that weird, annoying sound beside him. Must he be the damn responsible adult every time the nations acted like total drama queens about everything! It was like being an awkward, single father to too many teenage girls going through those annoying angst years.
He rubbed his temples and tried to calm down. "If you call rape one of your fun times, then-"
"Super fun sexy fun times of hotness," Hungary corrected.
Germany buried his head in his hands. Take deep breaths and calm down, he told himself. Remember, you must be the responsible adult here, unlike your idiot companions. "That still doesn't mean I shouldn't stop the idiot American."
"But," Hungary frowned, "it was getting to the good part. America had England where he wanted him. England looked like he was about to give up and com―"
"Don't. Finish. That. Sentence! Must you be so vulgar?"
Hungary blinked at him, confused for a moment. "OH," she began to giggle. "Germany, I wasn't going to say that." She nudged the stuttering German. He was trying to find an excuse but could not arrange the words right as a heat crept upon his face. "You have a dirty yoai mind too don't you~? Eh, eh, eh?" Hungary teased.
"You mean dirty doggy mind," Prussia interrupted. "You know those magazines I mentioned before, with all the girls, he had some with dogs―"
"I DO NOT! And stop going into my room and looking at my personal things!"
Hungary began laughing in hysteria. You can never keep your own private life with a brother like Prussia. Good thing he didn't keep a diary. Especially not thousands of them like his brother did.
"You have some weird fetishes West," Prussia teased.
Germany growled at his brother. "I hate you."
"Oh West~ you know you love me!" Prussia added with a huge grin.
"Brotherly love is important, don't be afraid to show it," France intruded. "Though, big brother France makes sure to show love towards everyone all the time, ohohoho~"
"Stupid frog," England intruded as well. "You probably have the most screwed up fetishes."
"Like yours is being raped—"
"Shut up you frog!" England attacked the Frenchman, trying to land a punch. France dodged; he could not have his beautiful face attacked by the unfashionable Englishman. He really should change up his wardrobe, be more interesting, brush his hair, do something about those eyebrows― he could go on about this all day!
"Should we try to stop them?" Spain asked.
The nations looked amongst themselves, "Nah." If the long time rivals wanted to fight, let them. It was just too much hard work to break it up.
"I AM NO SUCH THING!"
"Please~ now that I think about it, you did look at America funny when he was a colony."
"You probably molested what's-his-face the minute he became your colony!"
"You know nothing of the brotherly love I show towards anyone!"
"How would you know! You've never been loved!"
"DIE IN A HOLE!"
"Sure—the day you look less hideous!"
Now if many of the nations think about it. The reason why America became an egotistical idiot and that other person who looked like America was so...wait...who were they talking about? Well, they guess any problems they developed were because of those two.
Canada hated that he was forgotten and over shadowed by America. Since no one had seen him, England and France had pretty much smacked him around. He was unwillingly in the middle of their second battle of the day—and defiantly not their last.
No wonder England couldn't land a punch on France. He was unknowly directing all his blows at Canada. Same with France, it was like a mysterious force was making it so they wouldn't hit each other.
Thank God himself—also known as Morgan Freedman—for Canada was pulled out of the crossfire! Thank you Morgan Freedman, thank you! Canada was sure he would have been badly hurt if he'd stayed any longer.
Canada found himself yanked by his arm and was being held closely to someone's chest.
"Hey, Canada, you alright? The awesome me just saved you!" The Canadian looked up to see a silver haired man with red eyes. If memory served him right, this was the ex-nation Prussia, a.k.a., one of the two other perverts France was friends with.
"Ah, thank you," Canada pulled away from the older nation.
"Yeah, yeah, now, if I got this right, you owe me for saving you, right?" There seemed to be a bit of anticipation in his voice.
"Um, I-I guess I kinda do." Canada thought he at least owed the other a favor in return, it seemed to be a good way of showing his thanks.
Prussia grasped both of the blond nation's shoulders. "Awesome! Now get on your knees!"
"What!" Prussia tried to nudge him down.
"I said get on your knees, do you have an STD?" He kept nudging Canada.
"WHAT!" The Canadian felt like he was having a panic attack.
"An STD, Shoe Tieing Disorder. Now get on your knees and tie my shoe! Kesesesese~"
"OH," Canada realized. He thought he meant something else―
"Then you can blow me," Prussia added with a big grin and a sly wink.
"Once that's done, you can make me pancakes, and grant me three wishes! Kesesese~" Prussia cackled cheerfully.
"I can't do that!"
"You know how to make pancakes. I heard you make them really yummy. Like my five meters will be once you bl―"
"I'm not going to do that!"
"But," Prussia said with a pout, "your suppose to." He furrowed his brows. "Tonio~!" He called to his Spaniard friend with annoyance. "You said if I saved him he would grant me three wishes!"
"That's what the story said. You save the blond haired princess in red and she ties your shoe, grants you three wishes, makes you pancakes― and a blow job!" Spain looked at his laptop to re-read over some words on a story.
"I'm n-not a-a princess!" Canada sputtered out.
"You don't have to flatter yourself princess Canada. But I still want my favors for rescuing you!" Prussia said.
"Rescue? If you need rescue, a hero is here!" Shouted America obnoxiously. "I think I should totally get the three wishes!"
"Hey! I saved the princess first! Those three wishes she will grant me are awesomely mine!"
A few nations over heard the argument. Then they thought, three wishes! Imagine who I can make my bitch once I get ahold of the princess! So, many shouts were thrown in the three's direction, claiming Canada as their own.
"Someone will tie my shoes! It's always so confusing to do. I wanna save princess Canada! Ve~!" Italy sprung from his seat to hug Canada.
"I want my regions to become one with princess Canada's mouth, da?" Russia moved closer to the group.
"I want a free blow job!" Netherlands pushed America and Prussia out of the way and tried to take Canada's hand.
"Can I get pancakes!" Sealand clung to Canada's leg. The kid loved sweet things.
"I call the princess' royal boobies!" Korea flung himself at Canada and groped his chest.
"Hey! The Awesome Me deserves the princess' blow, food, service, and wishes more than all of you un-awesome people!"
Prussia began pushing nations out of the way to get to Canada. No way were these losers taking his three wishes!
"I'M NOT A PRINCESS!" Canada shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to get everyone to stop this nonesense. Though, it wasn't enough as more nations in the room started shouting like they were at an auction and Canada was the rare diamond artifact.
"If you get the royal boobs, I want the royal ass!"
"I believe the royal ass is mine."
Canada stood awkwardly as random nations were calling the right to his beautiful royal behind.
Quite a few of them even tried to grab for it. He wanted attention, but not this kind.
"Back off people!" shouted America. "Canada is my whore!"
"Aw~ his face looks like a tomato! Can I keep him Romano~" Spain pleaded with his favorite Italian.
"No you bastard! I'm not letting you take the fucking wishes!"
Romano pushed Spain out of the way and clung to Canada's arm. "Come on Feliciano," he called to his little brother, who still had his arms around Canada. "Let's pull him out of here so I can grant my fucking wishes."
"Ve~ sure fratello."
"I want fucking wishes," Denmark said with a nudge. Eh, eh, eh?
By this time, the French and English Empires put their fight on hold to see what the commotion was about.
"Canada! You have the magical power to grant wishes lad? We must join forces and unite under the black magic club!"
"I want to, 'unite with princess Canada under the black magic club'!" Turkey said. He then grabbed both of Canada's legs and tried to rip him away from the other. "Back off you sluts! This is my bitch right here!"
"Aru, you nations are so immature. We settle this fairly, the oldest gets him. So hand him over aru!" China took Canada's arms and tried to take him from Turkey.
"You're going to break me!" Canada pleaded.
He was let go as other nations started attacking Turkey and China. Now, they were just taking trash to one another and throwing some punches.
"Bring it on you sperm burping gutter sluts!"
"I will shank you!"
"Stop being such a nappy headed ho!"
"Whatever bitch tits."
"I RAPE YOU ALL IN YOUR SLEEP WHILE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF!"
Everyone in the room looked towards Netherlands. What the hell did he just say?
"Now, that I have your attention, I have an announcement. We've been lied to!" Netherlands said at the head of the table, slamming his fist down. "Princess Canada lied to us! And I thought we were friends!" He glared at Canada coldly.
"I never said I was a pr—"
"If the idiot Spaniard bothered to read the rest of the story, he would know that Princess Canada is really a cyborg who is trying to steal your identity! Then drown the world in maple syrup and bunnies that in all will create world peace! He's evil!"
"Ah~ can I join your plan for world domination too Princess Canada?" Russia said eagerly. The nations would be in some deep shit if Russia become one with Canada.
Question: Speaking of heroes, the Avengers movie will be coming out next May. My editor and I have assigned ourselves characters. Which am I?
A.) Captain America
C.) Iron Man
E.) Nick Fury
Hint: Why don't you guys look back at the previous comments and choose an answer that hasn't been chosen yet. Would help you a lot.
Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. Instead of saying why I disappeared from fanfiction for like a month, I'll just give you a fake excuse and say I was gone fighting a zombie Apocalypse with unicorns XD
So, originally, this was going to be PruCan, but then it turned into CanadaxTheWorld. Hope you enjoyed it and you have "enhanced your vocabulary."
Also, I want to congratulate my 100th reviewer, georgster101 . Just message me for your prize, a one shot!
On another hand. I just wanna tell you guys that the question will be at the bottom of the page from now on.
Hasta la pasta!