Disclaimer: I have nothing against the Teletubbies. Honest. The voices however, seem to find them amusing and they end up in various stories. Could have something to do with working in the childrens section of a book store for too long... (I don't have to do any research, all Teletubbies facts are from memory! AHHHhahaha!) Anyway. GenX belongs to Marvel, Teletubbies belong to... whom ever they belong to. I'm doing this without permission and making no money off of it what so ever, it's for amusement factors only. Boy, is it ever...


GenerationX vs. Teletubbies: Game, Set, Match.

The battle begins with the Teletubbies appearing in the middle of the Biosphere by an enemy. Po, La-La, Tinky Winky and Dipsy giggle as they look around in wonder at the new play area. They perk up as they hear voices in the back ground. Curious as to who their new play mates may be, they skip over the tree house where Leech and Artie are playing tag around the tree while Penance looks on from the shadows. The 2 young mutants catch sight of their unexpected guests and stare in awe of the television characters come to life. Excited, they run over.

"Big hug!" Tinky Winky declares, happy to meet new friends. The 4 Teletubbies collide together in an earth-shattering saccharine hug, catching Artie and Leech in the middle. Artie and Leech suffocate and pass out before Artie can say a word.

GenX:0 Teletubbies:1 (or is it 2?)


Penance backs farther back into the shadows as the strange colourful creatures turn toward her. She attempts to run but is quickly surrounded by the grinning live stuft animals.

"Big hug!" They cheer, closing in on poor Penny.

Seconds later, the Teletubbies look like they have been attacked by a set of flying kitchen ginsu knives as Penny makes good her escape into the safety of the shadows.

GenX:1 Teletubbies:1


Unsure of their last encounter, the rainbow hued toddlers head for the kitchen of the school. Inside the kitchen, Paige Guthrie is absentmindedly rummaging through the refrigerator for something to munch on as she reads. The Teletubbies squeal with delight as they see a new friend, one with no sharp edges. Paige looks up, confused at the sound not normally found in nature.

"Hug!" La-la cries, running up to Paige.

"AHHHH!!!" Paige quickly husks into a random form to protect her. Unfortunately, she husks into Tubby Custard. The hungry Teletubbies advance, intent plain on their faces. Paige screams again and takes off running outside. The strange creatures chase after her.

GenX:1 Teletubbies:1 (they haven't caught her yet!)


With her longer, gelatinous legs, Paige quickly pulls head from the bouncing critters. Not wanting to let her lunch escape, Po pulls out her scooter and begins to gain on Paige. Glancing backwards, Paige notices this and tries to speed up. Unfortunately, her pudding legs can't stand the stress and start to slide away from the rest of her body. She gives out a startled yell as she falls to the ground with a muffled 'splut!'.

Jonothan Evan Starsmore is sitting in the shade of one of the campus' many trees, idly strumming on his guitar when he hears the sound of a scooter. He glances up from his dark brooding just in time to see Paige collapse into a pool of custard the same colour as her hair. Before he can think about it, he's on his feet running toward her.

He's standing next to Paige when he spots Po on her scooter, an almost feral look on her cheerful face. Chamber rips off the bandages around his face and lets loose a devastating blast at the charging Teletubbie. When the flames clear, Po is left standing on a pile of dark ash formly known as her scooter and is streaked with black soot. Her circular antennae gone except for a small smoldering smoking stump.

"Uh-oh!" Po cries, retreating back to her Teletubbie pack. Tubby Custard isn't worth it.

GenX:2 Teletubbies:1


As Paige reforms enough for Jono to help her to the infirmary (covering him in custard along the way), the Teletubbies re-group and decide to do something different. Hugging is now a dangerous past time and the custard obviously didn't agree with them.

"Dance?" Dipsy suggests.

"Dance!" The other 3 agree.

The Teletubbies take off dancing to music only they can hear around the campus grounds.

M is floating above the tree line enjoying the sun on her face as only Monet St. Croix can when she hears a strange sound. Slightly puzzled, she glances down and sees the wiggling organisms. She ignores them as they are an obviously inferior species. What harm could they cause? She returns to enjoying the sun. If they are trouble, let one of the others handle it. It is no concern of hers.

GenX:2 Teletubbies:1


"Gimme back my bubbles!" Everett Thomas shouts chasing after Jubilation Lee once again. Jubilee merely laughs as she speeds up through the trees, ducking limbs as she goes. She doesn't notice the strange dancing creatures until she runs smack into Tinky Winky's purple hide.

"Ahh!" She falls on her butt in the dirt, staring wide eyed into the creatures glassy brown eyes.

"Jubilee?" Everett calls, crashing through the undergrowth until he can see her. His jaw hits the floor as he sees the multi-coloured toddlers.

"Jubilee, sit tight. I'm gonna try to synch with them." He whispers, concentrating on his mutantagetic aura. Jubilee nods, struck speechless for once.

Everett gurgles as his aura synchs with the Teletubbies. The mindless saccharine is too much for his teenage mind and he passes out on the ground, eyes wide and glassy.

GenX:2 Teletubbies:2


"EV!" Jubilee shrieks, loud enough to shatter eardrums. A startled flock of birds takes to flight above her. Seeing Everett fall is enough spur her into action. "What did you do to him?!"

The Teletubbies have no response except to tilt their heads to the side and peer at her.

Temper breaking, Jubilee strikes blindly at the colourful bulbous things in front of her with her paffs.

"Ohhh-no!" They cry, taking off the way they had come, but not before Jubes' paffs lit La-La's yellow curly thing on top of her head on fire. La-La looks like a glowing Olympic torch as she streaks through the forest.

GenX:3 Teletubbies:2


"Get'im! Get'im! Yeah! Whooo! I am the GREATEST!" Angelo Espnosa cheers as he nears 585,000,000 in Space Invaders. A sudden high pitched noise distracts him and he looks up. 4 bulbous brightly coloured, scarred and slight charred creatures out of some sugar induced nightmare are doing a conga line past the door.

He blinks, looking again.

Conga line, funny crispy creatures. Yep. He was seeing it. The television screen flashes at him, causing him to jump as he glance over. Game over.

"Damn!" Those... hallucination thingies had cost him the game! Swearing, he gets up and checks the hall. They weren't there any more. He turned on the intercom.

"Ms. Frost? Senior Cassidy? You there?"

"I'm here, Angelo. What is it?" Ms. Frost's disapproving voice answers him.

"We got intruders in the school. Big bouncy coloured things. Like cutesy aliens or something."

"Are you sure, Mr. Espenosa?"

Angelo glances over at the cans of soda that litter the ground where he'd been sitting. "Either that or the soda's drugged." He remarks dryly.

GenX:3 Teletubbies:3 (He lost the game.)


Emma Frost, known to the world at large as the White Queen, sits back in her chair and concentrates. Quickly she telepathically checks all of her students. Paige is in the process of husking out of a gelatin form, Everett's in the process of chasing Jubilee, trying to hug her and Artie and Leech are taking a nap in the biosphere. Otherwise they all appeared to be fine. Concentrating a bit more, she spotted the intruders. They were hard to spot, their presence easy to over look from the lack of negative emotions. Frowning, she forms a telepathic link with Sean Cassidy, the other headmaster.

*Ye blasted woman! How many times do I have ta tell ye ta git out of my head?!*

*I'm going to ignore that for the time being. We have intruders on the school grounds. 4 of them. They don't appear to be hostile, however, they do appear to be heading for the computer room.*

*Sigh... and ye couldnae have told me this over the phone or intercom?*

Frost smiles in amusement. She probably could have, but this way is much faster and more efficient. Not to mention more amusing. *No. Do you want to intercept them or should I?*

*See what ye can find out about them from there. I'll go see what they want. Banshee out.*

Releasing the telepathic rapport, she focuses on the job at hand. Finding very little in the way of telepathic defenses, she sends a mind probe out to the largest of the 4. Big mistake. The White Queen finds herself being drawn into an alien void of sunshine, warm fuzzy bunnies and bright colourful flowers. She tries to pull out, with limited success.

Emma Frost, the White Queen, is now singing 'Shining Happy People Holding Hands' as she dances around her office with out a care in the world.

GenX; 3 Teletubbies; 4


Banshee easily spots the intruders as he flies down and immediately lets loose a vicious scream. The Teletubbies are knocked off their feet and slammed into the wall behind them. The tots slowly slide down the wall, making small squeaking noises as they did so. Sean lands and advances toward the, taking no chances.

"Oh-no!" The Teletubbies huddle in a scared group, staring at Sean with wide brown eyes. This new person scared them. He didn't want to play, or sing, or dance, or hug.

"Home..." La-la whimpers.

As if it was a magic word, a spot appears on the wall behind them, then swirls into a glowing tunnel. Banshee stares at it in surprise for a moment as a dark shadowy figure steps out, with the uncanny resemblance to Mr. Snuffleupagus.

"No-no!" The Teletubbies cheer, quickly waddling up to the figure. Sean freezes as he sees a completely different figure then the bulbous toddlers do.

"Emplate!"

"What happened here?" Emplate demands as the colourful toddlers cuddle up to him. "I created you to be the finest warriors this planet has ever seen and you can't even take care of Artie and Leech properly!"

The Teletubbies pay him no heed as they continue to coo and hug the dark mutant lord. Emplate finally sighs, wilting. "Go home." He says dejectedly, vaguely motioning toward the swirling portal behind him.

The quartet lets out a hearty cheer, then happily scamper through the portal. Emplate sighs again, completely ignoring Sean as he turns to follow them. "This is the last time I work with that Hama character." Emplate growls as the portal closes behind him.

GenX; 4 Teletubbies: 4


Epilogue: Several months later

Adrienne is walking down out side the buildings, enjoying the fine weather. She suddenly trips over a small burnt object and goes flying face first into the mud.

"What the-? Who ever left that out is going to pay for it..." She growls, reaching back for what ever she tripped over. Muttering angrily she picks up something that looks like it was once red and fairly fuzzy. Glaring at it, she activates her mutant ability.


"Whoa... check it out. Are you guys seeing this?" Angelo suddenly stops in front of one of the windows on his way to class, causing Jubilee and Paige to crash into him. Everett backs up a couple of steps to see what Angelo stopped for.

"Ms. Frost-?" Everett gapes, eyes going wide.

"Not again..." Paige groans, remembering the last time they found one of the teachers like that.

The brunette Frost was dancing on the front lawn, doing what appeared to be the show tune version of a cross between the Macarena and the Hokey Pokey. The GenXers traded looks. This was not good. It was, however, fairly funny.

We'd better go tell Queenie and the Irish." Jubilee sighs melodramatically, barely avoiding cracking up and alerting the rest of the student body to what the headmistress was doing.

"And get a video camera!" Angelo adds with a mischievous grin. "This one's going in the blackmail file!"

"Angelo!" With a muffled groan, the other 3 drag him down the corridor to their teacher's offices. At least they couldn't get blamed for this one...

Fin.