I AM CLONE

What am I?

He didn't know.

He wasn't sure of anything right now.

A life changing moment in a single punch.

He rubbed the pain at the back of his head briefly before quickly replacing his helmet. He didn't usually wear it on the bridge but he could feel her watching him. He risked a quick look in her direction but she turned from him almost immediately.

She knows I can sense her now. The longer we stand in their presence, the more sensitive we become to their ways. A weakness on their part, or a strength on ours I wonder?

He left the Bridge and headed in the direction of the Med Bay, it was probably best to get that bump on his head checked out. Again he could feel her eyes on him. So close, she feels so close. He turned as the Bridge doors closed behind, she was not there.

Doubts. So many doubts these days, and those words had stung him, hit a little too close to home. Part of his brain kicked him, reminding him of the words "A Clone like you would never understand. I wanted a life with more than empty servitude."

Is that what I'm doing? He thought. The very idea stung him. Empty servitude? Is that really all I have?.

Days passed.

He stood in the briefing room his helmet tucked neatly under his arm.

He had learnt to build walls. Walls in his mind that she could not get past as long as he did not falter. He remembered talking to Captain Rex once about it, Rex seemed to think it was something they had inherited from Jango Fett.

What am I?

She was talking to him about troop deployments, he half listened, it was all he had to do these days. His mind stored the information without fault, it was all recorded. He was the perfect soldier

Is that all I am?

I want to be more.

I want to be more than the sum of my parts.

I want to matter.

There was a moment's pause.

"You do Commander" Her voice was soft and she was frowning at him.

Damn

He put the wall back up.

"My apologies General. My mind must have wandered there for a moment."

She said nothing and continued to look at him. He could almost feel her pushing gently at his mind trying to find a way in. She eventually seemed to concede defeat and gave him a curious smile.

Weeks passed.

He was feeling emptier now. He hadn't had a proper meal for awhile and it was starting to show. But he would do his duty.

What am I?

I am a good soldier

I am a good Clone

Something inside his heart wept at these words.

I want to be more

His report on the latest mission was flawless, everything as it should be. The mission had been a success. He had done well.

I am a good soldier

I am a good Clone

Shab

"I sense something is troubling you" Her expression was nothing but that of genuine concern.

"I'm fine General" He replied in a tone he knew she could read as false.

Another expression crossed her face for a fleeting moment. He continued with his report, keen to leave and be by himself somewhere. The tears were there inside of him, he didn't feel able to hold them at bay for much longer. He knew when he was alone he would sob like a child.

Like the child I am perhaps

He felt ashamed at this.

He finished his report, and for the first time since they had started working together an awkward silence hung between them. She was looking intently at him, trying to find a way in. His wall held.

"Is everything alright Commander?" she ventured.

"Yes General" It was a flat empty statement on his part and for a brief moment she looked almost hurt by it.

She nodded politely, and with that he turned on his heal and left the room.

She watched him go.

She felt the turmoil of his feelings. She felt his pain. It was hers now. Pain shared was not pain halved but pain doubled. She wanted to help him but the path eluded her.

General Luminara sighed sadly.

Outside her office Commander Gree wiped his eyes, replaced his helmet, and walked away.