The author of this story does not own any of the characters. Neitherr does the associated website. Contains sexual content, and language. Please exit if not able to continue.

Author's Note:

This is My very first Stenny. I don't do these often, or ever at all, because it's new for me. I know way more about Kenny, Kyle, Butters, and Eric. So, if this is OOC, then, I'm sorry. I would like to know how I'm doing. So, please review. And I don't mean just my one usual review from my Canadian Friend. You know who you are! Shout out!

Prank Gone Awry


The time passed slow. I felt pain course through my body as I tried as hard as I could to move on the next five years. It surprised me that I felt this much pain. I mean, Wendy Testaberger really wasn't that gorgeous, and I don't really know what I saw in her. And we always broke up, either for two days, or a week. We broke up over stupid shit, like normal people do. I was a fucking fifth grader for goodness sakes. Now, I found myself slipping farther and farther into the future. Sixth grade… seventh… eighth… ninth… Soon, I was in tenth.

My friends had stopped treating me like a friend. They still kept me a part of their little group. They just found it hard to talk to me, and all together stopped trying. I became distant through these five years, and bleak. Too depressed even to become Raven again, and join up with the Goth Kids. I was too depressed for that shit anymore. I don't know if it was because of the free food, or because he really cared, but Kenny kept me company over this more than Kyle, or Cartman.

Kyle became immersed in a girlfriend. Lately they all had. Kenny, getting a new one each day. Kyle, still breath taken by Rebecca. So it was that Kyle and Cartman ignored me. Cartman really didn't have a girlfriend. He just ignored me because it wasn't fun for him to call me names, and me to just take it. So, he just left me alone. I could tell, in the back of my mind, that my three super best friends were getting really tired of this behavior. Somehow, though, I couldn't get myself to pull out of it. No matter how many porn flicks Kenny showed me, or how many math problems Kyle tried to get me to answer by myself.

Why? Why did I feel this way? Even with my three best friends, I felt lonely. I felt unwanted. I felt, worthless. Like the lowest form of scum on this planet. How? Why had this break up hit me hardest? Wendy was just a girl. There were plenty of other girls out there. So, why go crazy over one?

I don't remember ever getting up from my bed and walking out of my room. I remember nothing. One minute I was sitting on my bed, a strange burning in my throat, and the next, I was knocking on a rusted door. It opened, and I spotted the familiar hooded figure.


I got up off the couch, and opened the door. A trembling Stan stood at my door step, looking like he was about to kill himself. His blue eyes were swimming with unfallen tears, and he looked at me pleadingly.

"Kenny?" Stan choked. "Kenny, I'm…" Stan was having trouble speaking. "Kenny!" he pleaded.

I reached over and pulled him in. He stumbled in, and his tears finally broke, and he began to steadily cry. I took the Raven to the couch, and sat him down. He buried his head in his hands, and shook with sobs as he sat there.

I felt like grabbing him and shaking him. Telling him he had to get over the bitch right… fucking… now! There was so much more important shit. He needed to snap out of it. And why had I suddenly been the one stuck babysitting?

Ever since the breakup, I'd been stuck babysitting the Raven haired boy. He had turned into a shell less lifeless corpse that walked the earth, stuck in a routine. Get up, shower, dress, go to school. Sometimes, he'd even skip eating all together, unless you force fed him. And Kyle and Cartman get so annoyed with his bullshit, I was left to practically attach him to my back and haul his ass around. I made sure he got on the bus every morning, went to class, ate. I made sure he tried to act as alive as possible. But it was impossible! The once blue eyes that shone was life now looked dull and almost grey. His outfits consisted of miss matched shirts, and sweat pants, or jeans. Either worn backwards, or inside out. Miss matched shoes, one Nike on his left, and a Jordan on his right. He was a fucking train wreck! His mom tried to get him to pack his bags, so he could go move in with his aunt in Arizona. She said he needed some son. He threw the biggest fit, you could ever imagine. Soon, Cartman and Kyle stopped hanging out with me completely whenever I had Stan practically draped around my shoulders. Jimmy, Butters, and I had taken it in turns to take care of him. But this was getting out of hand. Get a grip, Stanley Marsh! It's like, come on! There's almost half a million girls in the whole entire world, and he turns emo over Wendy? What's so special about her anyway? She's a bitch, and I hate her.

I guess you all saw this coming. My confession. I fell prey to my feelings when I first started taking care of a zombified Stan. I felt needed, for once. I felt wanted. Even if he did just use me as a life support for the moment. The minute either he finds a new girl, or Wendy comes back, he'll go right back to normal, and I'll just be the background character, again. But now, I felt like I had a purpose. And I felt different around Stan. I felt…. Forget it. Right now is not the time. I have to make sure the Raven doesn't slit his own throat or something.

"Hey." I said passively. I tried as hard as I could not to show annoyance, or bitterness towards him. Even though, I had been in the middle of a porn marathon, and was mad as hell.

"Kenny?" he asked tearfully. "Can't you do something?"

"No." I said hollowly. "Not really. I mean, it's out of my hands." I said trying to find better words, but failing.

"Don't your mom and dad have something?" he asked clutching at his throat. "Vicodin, bourbon, something?" he asked.

"Fuck off, Stan." I said without meaning to. "You know that won't do shit."

"You're just saying that because you have no sense of feeling, Ken." he said through a soft moan. "You've never been broken like this before."

"Oh no?" I asked laughing lowly. "Try trading places with me, Stan." I challenged. "Then tell me whose more broken than me."

My mom and dad and two siblings were who I lived with. We were lower working class, and dad made somewhat of an income. Mom worked as well, and Kevin was in the process of moving back in after his majoring in college. Karen and I were still going to school. We didn't have much, but appreciated everything we did have. My dad occasionally got drunk, but wasn't obnoxiously bad. He just did it to escape everything that was happening to him. Because we all had a secret. Me. Stuart and Karol McCormick showered all their children with love. The same love and same affection for all. But all five of us lived, differently.

They all know I can't die. Mom and dad had previously attended a cult when they were nineteen, and had me. They had Kevin two years before me. Somehow, at the cult, they had been cursed and my life became something I can't explain even to myself. Only my immediate family knew that I was an immortal. No one else seemed to remember, or care. So yeah. Stan doesn't know broken.

Stan doesn't know how it felt the first time I too got my heart broken. The first time I got viciously dumped by a girl, tried to kill myself, only to end up back in my bed the next morning. So I figure, live on, and get over myself. Why mope? It's just a waist of energy and time. But even if I told Stan, he would never remember. No one did.

"Stan," I said sighing. "You have to snap out of it, man. Seriously. Your mom and dad are talking about putting you in a Psych ward." I explained. "Do you really wanna end up in a rubber room?"

"I just wanna die." he gasped.

"Ugh." I moaned. This is why I'm not watching my porn? Because he's feeling suicidal again?

I pulled him into my arms, and let him cry himself to sleep. He shook, and trembled, and just looked like hell. Even though this was annoying the hell out of me, he looked pitiful, and I felt sad.

Two days later found me sitting at the lunch table. Butters had told me he'd take Stan, and they'd both go sit in his car, and eat. So, I was sitting with Jimmy, and Cartman, and Kyle. There were more familiar faces down the table, but I focused on my three friends.

"So is anyone in, anyone in, in, invited to Bebe's party Halloween?" Jimmy stuttered as he took a sip of his pop.

"Yeah." we all said.

"I'm going as a bank robber." Cartman said grinning at us. "Gonna try to scare the shit out of anyone who thinks I look real enough."

"Ha!" I laughed. "Good luck with that one."

"Uh," Kyle piped. "Actually, Ken, he looks real enough." Kyle said wincing a little. "I saw the costume. He, uh, really did a good job."

"What are you going as, Jew?" Cartman asked confidently.

"I don't know." Kyle said thinking. "I wanted to go as Hannibal." he suggested. "Or as Jack Torrance. Just before he dies."

"So you'll cover yourself in blood, and act all insane?" Cartman asked interested. "Because the snowy scene is already set out for you." he said gently. "I mean, it's South Park. Snow."

We all talked about what we might be. Five minutes later, Kyle's face fell.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, it's just, Stan." he said sighing. "You know?"

"Yeah. He was over at my place two days ago." I said grinning. "I don't even know how he made it that far."

I told the boys what had happened, and Cartman was the only one laughing. Why does that not surprise me?

"That little hippie's such a pussy." Cartman spat as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"What if we br- what if, if we br- br- what if we bring him to the party?" Jimmy suggested. "We can give him b-beer to drink and everything. He'll sn- sn- sn- he'll snap out of it."


Kenny told me loud and clear. He was not going to keep hanging around me, if I didn't at least give one attempt at trying to be social. No. I can't let that happen. Kenny was my safe hold. I felt a little bit better when I was with him, or Butters. Kenny, because when we were together, he left me alone. He didn't try and engage in conversation with me. Butters treated me just like him, only with Butters, it was more like if I was three years old. So, Jimmy, Kenny and Butters decided for me. Whether I liked it, or not, I was going to Bebe's Halloween party. According to them, I'd alternate between Butters and Jimmy taking care of my lifeless shell. Kenny said he'd be too wasted, and didn't really guarantee that he could, but he'd be there to supervise the situation. My life started to sound like a fucking dog's, or something. Super vise the situation?

"Do I really have to go?" I asked moaning. "I really feel like just staying here. Maybe eating a few chocolate bars-"

"Kenny's already over there, mister!" Butters said simply. "You have no choice."

"Who are you supposed to be?" I asked as Jimmy, dressed as himself, came walking in.

"Jack!" Butters said smiling at all of us. "From Lord of the Flies."

Butters had short messy blonde dirty hair. His face was painted black, and there were cuts all over it. He was wearing some ragged looking clothing that looked British or boarding schoolesque.

"Okay, cuz that's not scary." Jimmy managed without a stutter.

So, it was, that they all had fun as I sat on the side lines. I couldn't believe I'd let them drag me into this. I didn't really want to be here.

"Here, Stan!" Jimmy said coming over and showering my lap with candy. "If you're not gonna get anything from the keg, you may as well have candy."

I don't know how long I sat there eating through the pile of candy that he'd brought me.

"Stan?" asked a voice.

I turned into the sparkling green orbs of Kyle. I smiled at him, and my mouth felt strange. I think half of me forgot how to smile. I really hadn't talked to him in a long time, and I really didn't wanna be a fuck-up and push him away.

"Kyle!" I said smiling. "Hey!"

"Wanna come sit with me and Cartman?" he asked. "The pizza and salads are in the kitchen."

"Sure! Hey, want some?" I asked pointing to my lap.

"Oh, hey!" he said laughing. "I'll take this pack of sour tarts." he said smiling. "Thanks. Put all that into your jacket, and let's go." he said gently as he helped me to my feet.

I almost felt like crying again, but I held it in. He pushed his arm through mine, and led me to the kitchen. Eric, Token and Christoph were sitting at the table digging into pizza. I heard Kyle let out a stiffened gasp.

"Stan?" Kyle said standing on tiptoes to whisper into my ear. "Wanna go?" he asked.

"Naw." I said smiling weakly at him. "I'll brave the storm."

"Okay. Tell me when you feel…." His voice trailed off.

We all sat eating pizza and drinking. Kyle sipped a glass of water, I had a glass of sprite, and the rest had bottles of beer. Christoph tried to catch my eye, but I didn't pay any mind to him. As far as I knew, Kyle was talking to me again, and this was okay. Who cared about Wendy and Christoph.

"Oh, hey!" Butters said smiling. "You're hanging out with people, Stan!" he said smiling as a slight blush crept up his face.

"Yeah. He's doing good." Kyle said bitterly. "You taught him how to talk again. He said hi to me earlier."

"Ca'mon, Kyle." I said smiling at him as I squeezed his shoulder. I tried to put a lot of unsaid things into the squeeze, and hope he understood.

I don't really know what the hell I did for the rest of the party. But a little towards midnight, someone came walking up to me.

"Hey, Stanley." said a very strange whisper. "I heard you were looking for a good time."

"What the hell?" I gasped staring back.

I felt a hand clap over my mouth, and I was dragged, unable to fight, out of the house. I tried to scream, but the hand pushed harder into my mouth. Soon, I was being pushed into a silent pitch black, place. Soon, a piece of cloth was wrapped tight around my head, covering my eyes, and my ears. I gasped as I was laid down on something soft and cool. It wasn't a floor, or a carpet, it was a sort of mat thing. And before I could do anything, it happened.

A pair of lips was pressing gently, ever so gently into mine. I froze. My body tensed, and I gasped. Under the blind fold, my eyes closed and I felt warm inside. The feeling was strange. So strange. The pair of lips roughly pulled back, and I felt the body disappear.


"I warned you, Kenny." Kyle said softly as we both sat in his room two days after the party. "I fucking warned you. You don't do that. You don't fuck with people's emotions like that, because now, you fell in love." he shot.

"I did not!" I shouted as a gasp escaped my throat. "Kyle, don't say that!" I shouted. "How could you say that?"

"Then how come you're avoiding him? And how come, you came to me? If not love, than, what?" Kyle asked. "Dude, you're fucking stoned off Stan." he said giving me a small smirk.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Kyle!" I yelled. "Stan doesn't even know it was me!"

"I'm surprised. It was obvious that it was you. People saw you, you know? Token, Clyde, I saw you, Kevin. They all know what you took Stan into Bebe's garage for. And it wasn't just to take a friendly shot or play beer pong."

"Fuck you! You know, I'm leaving. I don't need this! I'm leaving. Go make out with Cartman." I muttered as I left.

He was gonna hate me forever. Rebecca would be pissed if she found out that I said that. But I didn't care. I left my best friend's house hoping to get away from my feelings. Kenny McCormick was immortal. He was evil. He didn't, love. Kenny McCormick didn't cry,, love, or feel any of those shallow human emotions. So why had my world just fallen apart all because of one prank gone awry?

I walked into my house, and heard only silence. Mom and dad were gone, I guessed. I heard a pair of familiar voices in the room I shared with Kevin. And sometimes, Karen and Kevin.

"I don't know. He said he'd be back. I think he went to Kyle's." Kevin was saying.

"Kyle?" Stan cracked. "But I need him right now! I need to talk to Kenny, right fucking now." he said sounding on the edge of tears. "I'm gonna go try and find him."

I walked into my room to find Stan heading to the door. He spotted me, and I saw the redness in his eyes. The gloom in his face. It was Wendy, again. God, dammit, you bitch! You hurt him even when you're completely out of his life!

"Hey, squirt." Kevin said smiling. "I thought you were workin' today."

"No. Tomorrow." I said simply. I had a little job at the convenient store going. "Hi, Stan." I said as my heart seized up inside me. What the hell! I think I needed a doctor.

"Kenny?" he said pleadingly. "You got a moment?"

"Yeah." I said simply. "Sure."

"I'm home!" Karen shouted as the door opened.

"I never left!" Kevin yelled as he stood off my bed. "I'm gonna go make dinner. Call you two down when it's ready." he said as he walked past me giving me a gentle shove. "You little shit head."

"Pig." I shot weakly.

He left and I sat down with Stan. Stan smiled weakly as he stared down at the blankets. Did I really wanna know what had happened?

"So?" I asked. "Wendy again?"

"No." Stan said in a whisper. "Not Wendy."

"What?" I asked sitting up straighter. "What? Wait, not Wendy?" I asked surprised.

"No." Stan replied weakly. "The thing is, Kenny, I'm not sure what it is."

"Okay. What happened?" I asked.

Stanley Marsh told me the whole story. Every little detail, down to the smell of the air in the moment. And as he did, the memory came back to me as well.

Two days ago, when I pretended to kidnap Stan, I planned to not let it go far. I planned to try to get… well, now that I'm thinking about my motive, I'm not even sure what it was. What the hell was I looking for? To snap Stan out of his dragging, to get him out of his depression, to move on, maybe. But didn't I have another way of doing this? Why did I have to do what I did?

I blind folded the Raven, and I dragged him into the little garage that Bebe had. I closed and locked the door, and walked over to him. My friends were very fucking stupid at times. Like how the events of the weeks when Cthulhu rained, happened, they all forgot. They all forgot all about their hero identities as stupid as they were. Everyone still knew of Mysterion, but no one remembered, or even cared, about who he was. My point with this, is that I could use my low super hero vocals, and be someone else. Stan wouldn't know it was me. He would obviously think it was someone else. So, I laid the Raven down on the mat below us, and I kissed him. My lips gently pressed into his, and I held the brushing kiss for about ten seconds before I pulled off of him. I leaned down a little and I uncovered his ears with the cloth from the blind fold.

"Where am I?" he gasped as I walked over and turned on a light.

"Is that some of your business?" I asked smiling at him.

"Well, yeah." he said still a little shakily. "I'm me. I asked where I am. If anything, I should be able to know my whereabouts." he complained.

"Whereabouts?" I asked almost laughing. "Good, Marsh. You've been studying. Did breaking it off with Testaberger give you new smarts?" I asked.

A completely painful expression came over him, and his eyes filled with tears. I wished so much at that moment, that that same expression would once come over his face whenever one of his supposed best friends was being killed. That those tears would swim in those gentle blue eyes when I was being ran over, or decapitated.

"No." Stan said softly. "How do you know, anyway?"

"This town is so small, and you are so depressed." I said smiling. "You're even sadder than the-"

"I know!" Stan spat angrily. "Goths. I know. Fuckin' sue me."

"So, Stan, did you like that kiss?" I asked.

Before he could say anything, I pinned him down again, and this time, I kissed him deeper, and longer. Stan stopped resisting at once, and went stiff in my arms. He started trembling, and his hands came up to wrap around me. He was gasping for breath when I pulled away.

"You have the power to run. I am not holding you hostage. I blind folded you, but you could take off the blind fold at any time. You could also just get up and fight me. I'd win." I added surely. "But you could still try. I'd let you go, if you said stop." I didn't want to make this a rape at all.

I gently started undoing his belt, and his zipper. He didn't fight. As a matter of fact, he helped me.

"I couldn't run away, Kenny." he said with tears in his eyes. "I felt, different. Almost like taking a fresh breath after breathing stale air for a long time, or almost like being born again. He was touching me, and it felt so good. That's why I didn't run away."

I went back to my memory as his voice trailed off in the background, describing each scene perfectly for me. I took his jeans off, and pulled his jockeys down with them. The Hockey player had a rather more muscular body than mine. He was a little less lean, and had more bulk to him. Not a single hair on his torso. I smiled as I touched him all over, and bent down breathing warmly on his cock, which seemed to be growing with size. I would come to find out soon, that it was a full eight inches erect.

"You can stop this." I had said plenty. "I have not tied you up, and you are free to leave. You can fight."

"And he sucked me off first. He was really good." Stan said as a very dreamy smile played across his face.

I had taken him all the way into my mouth, starting off slow. Soon, he was wrapping his arms around my head, forcing himself deeper into me. I was enjoying this more than I planned. Stan tasted sweet, and smelled so good. That cologne that hung around him all the time seemed to surround me as I sat there sucking on his eight inches. Soon, he was fucking my mouth hard, and sooner than that, he exploded. Stan tasted so fucking good. I just didn't know what to do with myself. And that's when I realized, my prank, my attempt to get him to snap out of his depression, had backfired on me. Because Kyle, my best red headed friend, was right. At this moment, I fell in love with Stanley Marsh.

"You can fight, Stan." I said simply as I pulled away. "Or, you can order me around now. You can fight."

"Kiss me." he pleaded his voice cracking. "Please!" he begged.

The blind fold covered his blue eyes, but I imagined that lust filled look that he was giving me as he pleaded for me. So, I pinned him down with my still clothed body, and pressed my lips into his.

"And I couldn't hold on, Kenny." he whispered. "I couldn't hold on. I kissed him back, and I felt like never stopping. Kenny, you could take me to Wendy and Christoph and make me sit there watching them make out, and I wouldn't give a shit." he said simply. "I don't know what the guy did to me, but I fell apart. In a good way." he added hastily. "Kenny, he is a damn good kisser." Stan said simply.

In my many years of immortality, and wisdom, I have done a lot of perverted things with the kids of my class. Because I could get away with it. I was the poor kid. I never get in trouble, if I can help it. I don't whore myself, if that's what you're thinking. But I am an openly unbiased sex addict. I, fucked, anything that moved. That was warm, and had a pulse. There I said it. So, in my experience, I became a learned man at knowing what guys and gals wanted, and making them cry out with passion. Whether it was a one night stand, or a girlfriend that lasted only two weeks. I always made them come back for more. Because I loved anything pornographic. So, that's why he was saying all these things.

After I sucked him off, I asked. "So, who would you like to make love to, again?" I asked. "Wendy?"

"No!" he said panting. "You! I want you! Whoever you fucking are, I don't care. You could be Kyle, and I would still fucking want you." he pleaded as his cock throbbed. "Please, take me."

Wait a minute, take him? Did I just say make love? I meant, fuck him. Have sex. I don't take people. I fuck people. I don't make love, I have sex. What the hell was going on? But I complied.

"And?" I asked after Stan recited this part of the story.

"He… he fucked me, Kenny." said Stan flushing a little. "I'm gonna be as blunt as you are when you tell me about your shit, buddy." he said softly. "I think I'm gay. Cuz he felt so fucking good. And he knew what he was doing." Stan said as his cheeks became warmer.

"Well, I'll be a cape clad super hero." I said laughing at the joke I only understood. "So you let him? Or did he rape you?"

"No, he kept asking me, if I wanted this. He kept asking me. He told me time and again that I was free to leave whenever I wanted. To stop him. To fight even. Kenny, you have to help me. You have to help me find out who it was that took me into where ever the hell they took me. Please, Kenny. I think I'm gay, and I think… this is it."

Those words pierced me like a fucking stake into my heart. This is it? Did he mean, he's finally sure he's gay, or that this guy is it?

"What am _I gonna do?" I asked as I laid down on my bed kicking my shoes off. "Am I gonna go asking around every guy, "Hey, did you by any chance take Stanley Marsh out to an unknown place and fuck his ass?" I don't think so." I said laughing. "I have a little tiny bit of dignity." I said grinning at him. "Why did you come to me for this, anyway?" I asked. "Not that I mind, but I usually go to Kyle for this kind of thing. Not you, or fatass. Usually Kyle knows what to do."

"No. I can't tell him. It has to do with sex. He'd freak and run away. He can hardly stand to kiss Rebecca. But at least he doesn't throw up when he sees her." he said laughing at the memory. "No. I'm going to try and talk to him about something else."

"Well, what can you remember about him?" I asked as I closed my eyes and rested into the bed. "I mean, what was unique about him?"


I stared at my best friend as my face went hot. "Dude!" I shrieked. "How the hell should I know? I was blind folded the whole time."

"Well, Stan?" he asked. "You could've untied it. You said it yourself. He told you you could've untied it."

"I couldn't move!" I moaned. "He felt… so good on me, and this is too much for you, isn't it?" I asked.

"You're talking to me, Stan. Me. Kenny the Fucking Machine McCormick." he said laughing. "This is not too much information, it's normal."

"Do you get it?" I asked smiling as I lay down beside him. "I felt good for the first time in a long time, Ken. Wendy's never even kissed me like that. Dude, she's never even so much as let me do her. This was so much better than Wendy. If the guy knows my name, he knows my everything. Right? So, maybe, he'll call me, or email me. Oh, man. I should get my old Facebook back." I gasped standing up.

"I don't think so, Stan." Kenny said yawning. "This person sounds like he's not a Facebook type."

"So how do I find him?"

"Tell me what you remember." Kenny said calmly. "I'm me, Stan. I've done every kid in my class, and the classes above and below me. Use your mind, and think. If you can describe the feelings like that, with that much detail, and even tell me the smells, then try to make an effort to tell me what you felt in your fingers. Anything you can remember."

I closed my eyes, and sighed. "His hair. It was really messy, and it felt soft." I said sighing. "He had a really big cock, but it was big in size, and it was sort of like mine. Just thin, you know?" I asked. "He smelled like… honey." I said thinking about him. "He tasted sweet. His breath was sweet. He smelled so good. He felt hot, and…."

I couldn't go on. I sighed as my stomach did full flips. I felt so strange.

"Okay, well, wait for a while, and maybe he'll come looking for you again." Kenny advised. "Yuh never know. This town is small, Stan. You could be right. He probably does know your number, at least. If not, your Hotmail, and you can IM him, or some shit."

"Dinner time!" Karen said coming over to us. "Ooo, Stan, you have a boyfriend?" she asked smiling gently at me. "Oooo!"

"You stayin'?" Kenny asked pulling himself off his bed tiredly.

"Naw. I gotta go eat with my own people. Mom will throw a fit. Dad's still doing that whole, on Tuesday we all eat together kind of thing." I said as I got up. "Don't forget about my situation, Kenny." I said simply. "Okay?"

"Okay. Oh, and Stan?" he asked.


"Get your ass together now, okay? So that all four of us can go back to hanging out without you going all emo on me."

"Fix my situation, and I'll be the happiest man on earth." I said simply. "Do it."

The next day was a Wednesday. I got up for school after Kenny came and woke me up by knocking on my window. I opened it for him groggily, and I watched as he climbed in with cool grace.

"So?" he asked as he claimed my desk chair. "Sup for today?"

"Dude." I muttered as my sleepy voice cracked. "It's morning. People shouldn't have that much cheer in their voice in the morning." I said slowly. "It's fucking morning."

"Get dressed, so we can go eat!" he coaxed boldly.

I flitted around my room in a zombie like state again, and grabbed my clothing and dressed. It's not like Kenny hadn't seen me naked before. It's not like this was the first time he'd come in through my window. Or anyone's for that matter. Kenny snuck into all three of our houses at random times, just to freak us out, or because he came to get us for something. So, our parents were used to it.

"Where's your hat?" Kenny asked yawning as he did so.

"Oh yeah. I said as realization hit me. "The dude took it. Or something. I don't know." I said simply.

"Huh." Kenny said as he stood and we both walked out of the room.

The day went by slow. I couldn't get my mind off the person, and I had trouble concentrating on my work.


I had Stan in two of my classes. He seemed overly cheerful today. I felt like something was different about him. I didn't know whether to accept this happiness, or to wonder. It was better than having him sulk all the time.

"Hey, can I have a word with you?" Stan asked as I finished my lunch. "Alone."

"Sure." I said dryly. I didn't know what to expect. The first six weeks had been a lot of crying, and that's when I started distancing myself from him. So, I had no clue that my best friend was about to come back fully. All because of Kenny.

"So?" I asked coolly as we both leaned against my friend's car.

"Kyle," Stan said simply. "I'm really, really sorry." he said smiling. "I've been acting like a selfish douche bag retard for the last millions of years." he said simply.

"Don't forget to mention, emo goth faggy sissy piece of uncaring unmoving fat mass of shit from a fucking nother dimension." I said all in one breath.

"I deserve all of that." he said defeated. "Sorry, for being so, terrifyingly depressing."

I took the last steps and closed the gap between us hugging him. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and hugged me back. That's when I noticed.

"Hey, Stan, where's your hat?" I asked.

A lost dream-like smile came over his face. "I lost it." he said in a low husky voice.

Oh, God! Kenny took his hat? Ugh.


Two full weeks went by, and I didn't hear anything from my whoever he was. I heard nothing from the boy that I so desperately seeked. But I had no clue what to do to aid myself in the matter, and I didn't want to give up hope. Because he said it himself. We would meet again. He wanted this as much as I did.

I was on my computer working on an assignment for school. Well, duh. I was talking through web cam, to Kyle, and Kenny, sort of. Kenny was using Kyle's laptop for the same essay that we were all supposed to be writing. So, I could see a glint of orange far away, and once in a while I heard Kenny make a remark when Kyle would give us pointers. All of a sudden, a pop up came up.

M17 would like to add you to their contacts. Would you like to accept? Yes, no, decide later.

There was a picture of Mysterion on their profile. I stared at it, and clicked yes. They were on line. No sooner had I clicked on him, then a message came across the screen.

Hello, Stan. How are you?

Fine. Do you have my hat?

Yes. I had to take it, so when I finally let you know who I am, you won't be all freaked out and you'll know it's me, because I have your hat.

When will I get to see you again?

"Are you gonna answer me?" Kyle's voice cut through my brain.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Kenny get out of there!" Kyle yelled frustrated. "I'm trying to help you guys with this! You guys aren't even listening to me!"

I heard Kenny say something but didn't quite catch it.

"He just told me that who cares." Kyle said sighing. "Fine. You two fuck around and I'll do my work for a bit, and when you're ready to be grown high scholars, let me know." Kyle said bending over his key board.

I should've fought back.


Because now, I feel like shit.

You seem okay to me. I saw you today.

Why didn't you say hi?

I don't know. Maybe I'm scared that you'll find out who I am, Stan.

Dude, I think you turned me into a gay jock.

Naw. You were gay before. Think about it. Did you really like Wendy?

You know, not really. I don't know what the hell I ever saw in her.

Yeah? To tell you the truth, she's a bitch. I'm jealous of her.


Because she had you for a while. And I guess after that time, we spent together, and you didn't run away, I realized I wanted you.

I think I fell in love. Who are you, anyway?

Mysterion. Don't you see the display name?

It's just an M.

Yeah? And?

Can I be honest with you?

That's a very un-Stanish thing to do.

Hey, I'm honest!

Not with emotions. It's not a Mysterion thing either. What?

I think I fell in love that night. You know?

Me too. It's like, there's so much everyone doesn't know about me, and no one really seems to care. But with you I fell apart, Stan. I felt way different. I guess, I'm sort of at a loss for words.

We need to meet again.

What if you can't handle it? I swear, if you find out who I am, you'll freeze up, leave, and I'll be broken.

You feel better than Wendy.

Yeah? I know. I know I do.

How do you know?

Because I felt your lust. Your fire, Stan. I felt your passion.

I just want my hat back.

He didn't answer. I think I just said the wrong thing. Kyle lifted his head up and looked at me.

"Are we ready?" he asked.

Mysterion signed off.

"Kenny, come sit beside me, so I know you're paying attention." Kyle said bitterly.

Soon, Kenny's figure appeared beside him, and we all got to work. Surprisingly easy work.


The next few months were full of surprises. I kept meeting up with Stan in secret, until a very determined Stan became cheerful again, and almost all himself. He smiled more, he laughed more. Kyle still hated my guts because he said I was playing with Stan. But I wasn't.

I had fallen in love with Stanley Marsh. All because of a prank I tried to pull, that went fucking horribly wrong. If I told him, would he kill me? Or would he love me back? I wasn't trying to hurt him. I was trying to help him. I was trying to help him get over Wendy Fucking Testaberger.

Over the next month, he spilled everything I knew already out to me. Kyle avoided us because he came in on us while Stan was telling me about one of his blow jobs that Mysterion had given him. This town is so full of retards. The only ones who knew it was me, was me, and Kyle.

"Well, if you don't tell him within the next few days, I'll tell him for you." Kyle said as I sat trying to do my homework.

"Tell who what?" Cartman asked from the other side of Kyle's bed.

"Tell you you're not our friend anymore." Kyle spat.

"Dude! Fuck you, you day walking Jew!" he yelled.

"Cartman." I said with a warning. "Okay, Kyle. I think I'll go do it right now." I said sighing.

"You will?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah. It's Friday night, and I'm sure it's a good time to try." I muttered.


The doorbell rang, and I got off the couch to go answer. Mom and dad were out on a date, whatever that was for old people. Shelly had left to the Gym. I opened the door, and I spotted Kenny, fully hooded and everything.

"Hey Stan." Kenny said as he came walking in. "You got a couple hours?"

"You can stay over." I said smiling at him. "It's been a while."

"Thanks." he said as he closed the door for me.

We both walked over to the couch, and sat down. Kenny sighed as he pulled back his hood. He looked like he was about to cry, or laugh, or throw up. Or maybe all of the above.

"So?" we both said at once.

"I have to ask." Kenny said sighing. "What would you do if you found out someone's been lying to you this whole entire time, and they led you along for the longest time?" he asked.

"Bad start to a conversation." I said simply. "What did you do?" I asked.

"You." Kenny said with a very familiar smirk.

"I get it." I said laughing along at the joke he cracked.

"No, Stan. It's not a joke." he said laughing a little again. "You asked me what I did. You. And it's been four months since I've done anyone else."

"Kenny, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked confused.

He leaned into me, and his breath fell against my face. "I think Wendy Testaberger is a bitch. I am jealous of her." he said in that very familiar low gruff voice. As he did this, my heart started thudding, and my nose caught the familiar sweet scent of honey on his breath.

"Kenny?" I gasped. "Holy shit, dude!" I cried out. "Holy shit!"

"What?" he asked still uncomfortably close to me. "What, Stan? Are you angry at me? Do you hate me? Because I'll tell you what. I love you."

And with that, he kissed me. I found myself lost in the kiss, and I moaned into him. Kenny? It was Kenny? Really? That made perfect sense! In fact, that I know now it was Kenny only made certain pieces of the puzzle fit.

"It all makes sense now." I mumbled. "I feel different around you. You make me feel so good." I muttered. "You were my fucking strength when Wendy left." I said softly. "It makes sense. You made everything that much bearable, Ken." I whispered looking into his shockingly ocean blue eyes.

"Yeah? Well, I'm glad you didn't fuck her. I was your first one." he said smiling. "How about we pick up where we left off? No blind fold this time." he said softly. "And here." And he produced my hat. I smiled as I kissed him again.

"I love you, Kenny." I said simply. "So much."

"If you loved me," he said unzipping his jeans. "You'd let me fuck that little hockey player ass of yours."

This time was real. There was no blind fold, there was no darkness. I saw Kenny looming above me as I lay undressed in front of him. He took my legs and lifted them over his shoulders. Soon, his already lubed up shaft was entering me. I moaned as I twisted my hands through his golden hair. He let out a purr as he leaned down and kissed me.

"Oh, Stan. I don't know what you ever saw in that filthy little bitch!" he moaned as he started slamming in and out of me. "She can never compare to Kenny McCormick!" he moaned.

"Damn right." I said as I lost myself in the feelings my best friend produced.

"Kenny!" I moaned. "Don't ruin this for me. I really do love you."

"Yeah?" he asked. "So do I, Stan."

And as we lay there making love, he told me what his intentions were to begin with. I felt sort of angry at first, but who really cared. Kenny was trying to make sure I didn't do the unthinkable. Because I did come close to suicide at several points. As he released into me, I realized. Kenny may have just made it possible for me to be normal again.

"Faster, Kenny!" I moaned as I released all over us. "Mmmmmm!"