Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia

The Greatest Man In The World

Chapter One: You Could Do Better

Lovino lives in a church with his brothers Feliciano and Marcello. They have lived here since Marcello was around one, making Feliciano two and Lovino about three. Needless to say, it's all they know. Feliciano wishes to stay for the rest of his life, even become a priest, but Marcello and Lovino want more out of life. Lovino wants more for their lives as well. He is only sixteen, but he is desperately trying to get out already.

The people of the church are kind, except when they are bad of course, and then they are cruelly brutal. But they haven't gotten in trouble in probably three years. Feliciano is a good kid in the first place, Marcello is also pretty well behaved, and Lovino has learned when he can and can't say things. Which basically means he knows all the secret areas in the church grounds.

Lovino sighs and does his rounds in the church, sweeping and dusting, when he hears yelling outside. "GET THE PIRATE!" "HE'S RUNNING TO THE CHURCH! DON'T LET HIM ENTER!" The teen sighs and rolls his eyes, their police will most likely catch the poor fool before he reaches here and tomorrow he will be hung. On the bright side it means the priest will be out for a while. That bastard has an ever present stick up his old ass.

Lovino muses about what he can do with his brothers while the priest is out tomorrow when the doors to the church fly open and a tan man with long brown hair tied back runs in. Neither of them are looking, and so they run into one another, the man landing on top of Lovino. "Do you work here?" The man asks, not moving and Lovino silently nods as the police come running. "Where is the priest?" He asks and Lovino shrugs. "I don't know, but if you want to claim sanctuary, you can to me."

The man stands and helps Lovino up, holding his wrist. "I CLAIM SANCTUARY!" He yells and the police stop as the priest comes out of nowhere, he's creepy like that. "Is that so? Well, you heard him men. Please leave." The priest says calmly and the police groan on their way out. "Watch your language in the house of god, men." He reminds them and they all begin cursing as soon as they exit the church.

"…So, you shall be staying for a while I assume?" The priest asks the man, who is still tightly holding onto Lovino's wrist. "Yes I will. My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo." Antonio says and the priest smiles at him, looking him up and down much to Lovino's disgust. The priest loves men, which is blasphemous enough, but what he loves the most is young men. Not teens, thank god, but men in their twenties…like this Antonio guy. "Well Antonio, I shall leave you in the care of Lovino Vargas here. He'll take care of whatever you need."

Lovino pales and twitches a little. You don't tell a pirate you will take care of WHATEVER they need! "Really? Well lucky me." Antonio says, smirking at the boy. "Well, at least one of us considers it lucky…" Lovino mumbles bitterly, earning a dirty look from the priest. Great, punishment. How could he forget the worst thing in the priest's book is to insult a handsome man? "Lovino, come with me for a moment." Lovino tenses up and Antonio wraps an arm around his shoulders. "No offence there priest, but I would very much like his help right now." The pirate says, batting his eyes in a disgustingly hot way.

"I understand, I shall talk with you later Lovino." The priest says, walking away in a way only Lovino knows is frantic. "You flustered the priest…" Lovino mumbles and Antonio grins at him. "Well, if it gets you out of a beating for such a stupid reason, it's worth it." The Italian sighs and looks down to his wrist. "Let go now." "I don't want to. What if I get lost, Lovi? Who will take care of me~?" Antonio teases and Lovino fumes. "I don't care who will take-! WHAT THE H-WHAT IS A LOVI?" Lovino yells and Antonio laughs. "You are a Lovi, Lovi."

The Italian takes a deep breath to stop himself from cursing and then yanks his hand out of Antonio's grasp. "Fine, whatever you say, just don't touch me." Antonio frowns. "You act as though I'm diseased." Lovino glares at him. "How do I know you aren't? Pirates are known for their disgusting actions. You're probably riddled with sexual diseases." Antonio rolls his eyes. "I didn't become the best pirate on the seas by fucking everything I see. I have never done anything of that sort, if that eases your mind at all." Lovino glares. "No, it doesn't ease my mind."

He groans and looks around the church. "What do you want to do? Pray for your soul? Change your clothes so those nasty things can be washed? …Bathe?" Antonio laughs. "I get the hint. I shall bathe." He leans in closer to Lovino. "You will bring my clothes and scrub my back, won't you?" Lovino blushes and scowls at him. "VAF-UGH! Fine…" He groans and leads Antonio to the bath he shares with his brothers and grabs a shirt and underwear for the man, knowing none of his own pants will fit him. "Here's your clothes." He says, setting them down on a counter and Antonio smirks at him. "Wonderful, although I see it's lacking pants."

Lovino sighs. "I'm the oldest person in this area of the church. None of mine will fit you. I have my brothers cleaning your clothes now." Antonio leans back in the tub and locks eyes with Lovino, smiling in an almost carefree way. "You'll get my back now, right~?" Lovino blushes and groans, grabbing a washcloth and going over to the man. "Oh, wow, you're actually doing it." Antonio says shocked and Lovino fumes. "YOU TOLD ME TO!" The Spaniard turns to face Lovino, a serious look on his face. "So, you are basically a servant of the church? Don't you want more for yourself?" Lovino frowns. "It's not about what I want. Not everyone can go off and be a pirate."

Antonio smirks. "You think I just went off and became a great pirate? Oh no, Lovi. It took a while. I started out with a plan when I was little, and followed it. I started at a lowly station and worked my way up, using my youth to catch them off guard. I've killed many men to get where I am…" He grabs Lovino's chin, tilting his face to look into his eyes. "Now I rule the world of pirates. No one can stop me. I'm the king of the underworld and I love it."

Lovino stares at him wide eyed. "Y-you…how old were you when you became captain?" "I was sixteen, I killed my captain and became invincible. Now all pirates are afraid to so much as look me in the eyes." He gets a serious look on his face. "No one WANTS to mess with me." Lovino gulps nervously. He might be sheltered, but he knows a threat when he hears one. "R-right…"

Antonio smiles darkly at him. "No one can stop me, you see. On the seas only I am in control." The Italian nods silently. This guy is scary…in a strangely hot way. "So Lovi, what do you do for fun around here?" He asks, his previous cheery disposition back. "Uh…wh…?" Lovino asks blankly and Antonio smiles at him. "Aww, don't be afraid Lovi~! As long as you don't mess with me I won't ever hurt you. I can be a very good friend. I'm simply saying you could do better." He says in a strangely comforting voice.

Lovino continues to stare at him blankly; how can he go from terrifying to comforting in mere seconds? "Where the hell was that in your speech? You weird me out. Please leave soon." The Italian says calmly before getting up and leaving the room. Antonio watches him leave, a little surprised, before laughing. "Well, at least he's honest!"

At dinner:

Lovino leads Antonio to the group dining hall. In there his brothers have reserved spots for the two of them, much to Lovino's annoyance. He doesn't want to sit with the creep. Feliciano looks up at Antonio and smiles that cheery smile he always has. "Hello sir!" Antonio smiles sweetly at him. "Well, hello there. You look an awful lot like Lovino. I take it you two are his brothers?" Feliciano and Marcello smile and nod before Lovino pushes Antonio to keep moving. "Move along, Antonio. I sit next to them." He says firmly before sitting next to an amused Marcello.

"So, Lovi, I wanted to ask you this but you ran off." Antonio begins and Lovino looks at him annoyed. "What?" "If you're going to be some guys bitch, why not be mine on my ship~?" He asks in a freakishly sweet way. So sweet, that Lovino didn't notice the curse word. But the priest sure did. "Lovino, keep him in line or I'll punish you." He warns and Lovino groans. "Wait, he's punished for what I do…? How does that make any sense?" Antonio asks, annoyed.

"You are his responsibility, your mistakes are his mistakes." The priest explains and Antonio rolls his eyes. "Oh dear GOD, if you don't come with me I might just kidnap you for your own sake, Lovi." Lovino glares at him. "Are you trying to get me in trouble?" Antonio gasps and covers his mouth. "Shit! I'm sorry!" "YOU DID IT AGAIN!" Lovino fumes. "I-I'LL BEHAVE, LOVII~!" Antonio whines and Lovino twitches. "THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN DO THAT IS BY SHUTTING UP! SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" "LOVINOO!" The priest yells and Lovino pales. "Oh no…"


Antonio hangs out with Feliciano and Marcello while Lovino is out talking, more like getting punished actually, with the priest. "Will Lovi be ok? You all seem so…fragile." The Spaniard says, used to tall muscular men. "Oh! Fratello will be ok! He is used to it!" Feliciano says happily and Marcello sighs. "Fratello gets in trouble a lot…" Antonio frowns. "Hey, why don't you boys come with me to my ship? I will take care of you. I can't stand seeing kids treated like this."

"Veee! B-but it's only when we are bad! When we're good they are very nice! And…I want to become a priest, too…" Feliciano says and Antonio sighs. "That's too bad…Lovino won't go without you." "Why do you want fratello so much?" Marcello asks and Antonio laughs a little. "I want all of you to come with me." "Come with you where?" They all look back and see a very pained Lovino. "To my ship." Antonio says and Feliciano frowns. "Are you ok, fratello?" "I'll be fine, I'm just gonna go lay down for awhile…" Lovino says, heading to their room.

Antonio follows him in and sits next to him on his bed. "Wh-what are you doing in here?" Lovino asks, blushing as the man moves closer. "I always hated punishments. They are so strict…let's see the damage." Antonio says, lifting the boy's shirt up to see fresh whip scars. "Ohh maann, I have to give you credit for putting on such a brave face." He tilts Lovino's head up so he can see his eyes. "And you didn't even cry. You really must be used to this." Antonio lets go of him and leans forward, placing a small kiss on a mark on Lovino's shoulder. "WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Lovino shrieks and Antonio laughs a little. "Calm down, it's a healing kiss." "It's a pervert kiss! A PERVERT KISS!" He yells hiding under his blanket. "I knew I shouldn't trust a pirate! I should've never said you could seek sanctuary!"

Antonio laughs a little. "Oh please, you like me here. I'm a breath of fresh air to this stale place." Lovino frowns. "That might be true…b-but you're a pirate. The 'king of pirates' or whatever. You're scary and perverted." Antonio rolls his eyes. "Well you're bratty and a slave to some old man." Lovino looks away annoyed. "Better to be fed and taken care of than to die in the streets as a baby." Antonio sighs and rests his hand on the boy's head. "You're not a baby anymore. None of you are. So…why don't you just give in and come back with me? With your adorable brothers of course." "Touch them and you die." Lovino says bitterly and Antonio laughs. "Oh, I would never dream of going near your brothers."

He smirks and places his hand on Lovino's butt. "You're the one that would more likely be able to please me." The Italian stiffens up and turns over, slapping his hand away. "WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE IN A CHURCH YOU HEATHEN!" Antonio chuckles and gets up. "I'll leave you alone then. Although teasing you is the only fun thing to do here." Lovino glares and looks away in anger. "Th-there's other things! Painting, cleaning, cooking…reading…writing…OK! SO there's nothing here you would enjoy doing!" He notices Antonio smirk and point to him before going to speak, but quickly beats him to it. "DON'T! SAY! IT!"

Antonio sighs and heads out, stopping at the door to look back quickly. "I wouldn't hurt you for stupid things." Lovino glares at him. "No you'd kill me for them." The Spaniard rolls his eyes and laughs a little. "I only kill those who betray me, Lovi." The Italian looks over at him suspiciously. "Why…are you so dead set on us coming with you?" Antonio smirks at him. "I've always wanted to steal something from the church." Lovino looks at him confused. "Is that so…?" Antonio nods and leaves the room.

That night:

After dinner Feliciano and Marcello bid goodnight to Antonio and Lovino, leaving the two alone in a hall. "…You actually behaved…" Lovino says, watching his brothers leave. "Yes, I can be nice, Lovi." Antonio says, smiling at him. The teen sighs and heads toward his room. "They should have put a second bed in there for you by now." Lovino says and Antonio frowns. "You mean we can't share~?" "You're not as funny as you may think." The Italian says, trying to keep calm. "You're not as well off as you may think." Antonio counters and Lovino groans. "That's getting annoying, pirate." The Spaniard's eyes light up in amusement. "Ohoh! So I don't even get my name anymore? It's just 'pirate'? That the best insult you can say in the church?"

The teen looks away pouting. "…Kind of…" "You're not even trying." Antonio teases and Lovino glares at him. "I'm tired and recently suffered a large amount of blood loss! Thanks to you, might I add! Excuse me if I'm not up to insulting you in a way that pleases you!" The man shrugs. "That's all I ask." His eyes venture to the boy's back and as soon as they enter Lovino's room he lifts it up. "WHA-?" "Hmm…it seems to be healing pretty well…" "G-GET OFF!" Lovino cries and Antonio rolls his eyes. "Calm down, it's not like I'm doing something bad.

"Just the act of you touching me is bad in my book." The Italian points out and brings them into his room, seeing only one bed. "…Th-this must be a mistake…I should go talk to-!" Antonio grabs Lovino's arm before he can reach the door. "We can live with this. I'm tired, let's just go to bed. I'll be a good boy…" He smirks. "…God is watching, after all." Lovino rolls his eyes and sits on the bed. "Fine, whatever." He grabs his clothes and changes away from Antonio.

When he comes back in Antonio is already in the shirt and without pants. He takes the red tie out of his hair, letting the brown locks flow over his shoulders. It brings a blush to Lovino's face, making the boy stare at the floor and mentally recites biblical passages. "Ohhh my Lovi, you look like a tomato~!" Antonio coos, tilting the boy's chin up. "D-D-DON'T TOUCH ME YOU PIRATE!" Lovino squeaks out and slaps his hand away, jumping into the bed and hiding under the covers. "Fusososo…I'll try to contain myself…mi tomate." "Y-YOU BETTER! AND STOP THAT CREEPY LAUGH!"

A/N:I'm not sure about this one. There needs to be more Pirate!Antonio and Priest/Catholic!Lovino. I was going to make another high school one, I actually had some written out.(I would've had to have changed some of it though) But then I was listening to these two songs. The you tube videos are Don't mess with the British Empire and The world could DO BETTER. Another APH video. lD Yeah...I'm making titles out of the lyrics...lD it just happened...o.o