Authors Note: This is another story thats been in the works for a while ever since develish1 and I had fun swapping comments over at live journal a while back about a certain title David Tennant got called during radio BBC 4 Womans Hour. This led to us commenting about other things like a certain sticky substance and well the plot bunny exploded from there. This story follows on from Dirty Laundry, Revenge is Best Served Sweet and A Mini Break does not a Time Lord Domesticate. Thank you to Bratflorida for the beta.

"Right, that's the last of the shopping, Doctor. I just want to buy Mum some flowers and then we can go home, okay?"

When silence greeted her Rose looked up from her shopping list, an exasperated sigh on her lips as she realised that he had wandered off.

Oh yes. It's a bad thing when the companion goes off alone but it's a different rule for Time Lords, she thought as she headed directly to the chocolate aisle, certain that his sweet tooth had gotten the better of him. Surprisingly though, there was no sign of the Doctor so she wheeled the trolley to the biscuit section because after candy, Jammie Dodgers and Jaffa Cakes were his other favourite sugar hits. Much to her annoyance he was not there either.

Just as she wondered which aisle to head to next there was an almighty crash from several rows down. Rose grabbed the trolley and was halfway there when a store announcement broke through the daily shopper's hub-bub.

"Would clean up crew please come to Aisle 7."

Without a doubt Rose knew that the Doctor would be involved somehow. Abandoning the trolley she ran the rest of the distance until she found herself in the seventh aisle.

"Condiments," she muttered as she saw the overhead sign. "Oh crap, bet he's made a mess of the shelves while sampling the jams."

It turned out to be worse, much worse.

As she reached the end of the aisle she could see a rather large crowd of shoppers all pointing and gossiping about something. Pushing her way through she found the floor covered in containers of honey, many which were now broken and leaking. Amongst the disaster sat the Doctor wearing what Rose officially called his 'oops, did I do that?' look.

There was honey in his hair and on his face. His suit was coated in the sticky substance and becoming more so as he unconsciously wiped his hands on it. All in all he was a right mess but that did little to impair his gob. As soon as he saw her he started babbling.

"They were giving out free samples, Rose, but they didn't have any in that delicious apple blossom honey. I found one right down the bottom of the store display, though why you'd have the best tasting flavoured ones at the bottom I don't know. I sort of miscalculated the cause and effect of what might happen if I removed the container and honestly, it really wasn't all that well put together but still grievous error on my part obviously, especially since I'm supposed to be smarter than you humans and erm, Rose, why you are looking at me funny?" he finally asked as she scowled at him.

Rose gave no answer. Instead she fisted her hands into his suit jacket, and pulled him up before dragging him out of the store by his honey-coated tie all the way back to the TARDIS.

Once inside she intended to give him a piece of her mind but he slipped away from her, dancing skittishly towards the console. With a few adjustments and button presses they were off into the Vortex, destined for who knew where.

Finally the Doctor stopped playing with the controls and turned to face Rose once more. "You're angry with me aren't you?" he said softly.

The quietness of his voice and the sadness in his eyes tempered the ire that Rose felt. Instead of the intended tongue lashing she sighed loudly. "Really can't take you anywhere can I? All we had to do was a bit of shopping because the TARDIS pantry is almost empty and look what happened," she grumbled whilst gesturing towards his sticky suit and hair.

"I know and I'm sorry but I already told you how it happened."

"But why honey? I thought you loved jam," queried Rose.

"Jam Shmam. Think I've tried just about every variety including one over in the Orlituxis system that tries to eat you before you eat it. I kid you not," he added seeing Rose's incredulous look of disbelief. "But honey, there are endless varieties of that. Different species of bee, and hundreds, thousands, a million different types of flowering plants across untold galaxies. Think I'd have to live another thousand years before I got to try them all."

"Alright I get all that," agreed Rose as she kicked off her shoes and socks and moved towards the jump seat to sit down, "but it still doesn't excuse what happened today."

"But, Rose," he whined. "They had apple blossom and Earth is the only planet to have that. Okay New, New Earth had apple grass but the bees can't pollinate that and no other planet produces apples. Only here, good old Planet Earth." Warming to the subject he continued. "It's just the right flavour for adding to my cereal and tea … ooh and hot scones and buttered toast, which of course reminds me of a really funny story about the time I nearly got married to an alien princess over a supper of pancakes and honey. Would you like to hear about that, Rose?" he questioned as he finally drew breath.

Up till this point Rose had been ready to tell him to "Shut it" and storm out of the console room but annoyingly his last remarks about the story had piqued her interest. "Okay," she said, trying hard to keep the curiosity out of her voice. "But don't you go thinking it will let you off the hook for today's events."

He stared at her for a few moments before nodding his head a little sadly. Mentally he kicked himself for being so stupid. Well perhaps his story would make her smile again.

"After Donna refused the offer of travelling with me the first time, I decided to go visit William Shakespeare. Thought maybe sharing a few drunken sonnets with one of my heroes might just be the ticket to forgetting my pain over losing you." He hesitated for a moment, honesty and sorrow in his eyes as he related this first part of the tale to her. Rose wanted nothing more than to go to him, despite her initial frustration however before her resolve caved in he recommenced his story.

"Things rarely go as planned, as you well know, but I managed to land in the right year. Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' was about to be performed for the first time The only problem was that the star of the show was apparently drunk and couldn't be found anywhere," he said. The crowd were getting impatient and the theatre troupe were nervous. The Queen was not there, which was a good thing, as Martha and I found out later, but a few distant members of the royal family were in attendance."

"Please tell me you didn't play Romeo in front of the royal court," groaned Rose.

"First, it wasn't the royal court. It was a theatre. Second, I actually played Juliet although why you think I couldn't play Romeo is beyond me and Rose, why are you laughing?" he grumbled in mock offence because secretly he was pleased by the fact.

"Nothing," she giggled. "Just imaging you in a dress, that's all."

"Rose Tyler, I'll have you know I look rather good in period costume. Erm, not that I make a habit of dressing up in woman's clothes," he hastened to add, blushing a vivid red as Rose continued to howl with laughter.

He sighed loudly before asking, "Are you quite finished?" Rose struggled to contain her mirth and nodded accordingly. "Good, right then. So there I was helping out in the absence of the brilliant if not somewhat alcoholic Bard, showing off my rather fine acting skills when halfway through the play in walked this woman. I could tell almost immediately that she was uncomfortably trying to fit in with the surroundings. She might have been dressed like royalty but she certainly wasn't from any court of England or of Earth. When the play ended she stood up and cheered with the rest of the crowd and then afterwards invited a few of the players back to her manor for supper."

"An alien masquerading as royalty; and supper. Now there's an invitation you can't refuse," snickered Rose.

The Doctor rolled his eyes at her before continuing. "Strangely enough I was the only one to find her home. Well home isn't quite the right word, because it wasn't a home at all, because homes don't hum when you step inside them. Unless of course you own a generator but generators didn't exist back then and-"

"Doctor, stay on track," warned Rose sternly.

"Oh, yes did get a bit off topic there didn't I. My mouth runs away with me. Well of course it runs away with me or walks depending on what I'm doing since it's attached to my rather handsome face and … erm … right, where was I?" he stammered as Rose once again called him to attention. "Oh yes, supper at the manor with the mysterious lady. Well she was very charming really, and seemed quite upset that the rest of the party couldn't make it but said we should make the best of it. She was clearly a lover of honey since she poured it quite liberally over her pancakes, and mine too if I recall. Afterwards, she asked me to recite an ode to honey because it was her favourite thing which was sort of putting me on the spot. But you know I can't resist a challenge," he grinned. "I managed to put something together. Remind me to recite it to you sometime. She was a bit odd though. Kept stroking my arm and throwing in intimate phrases that didn't make sense or fit in with what I was saying."

Rose snickered quietly to herself. Only the Doctor would be blind enough not to realise when a woman was clearly hitting on him. The thought made her feel quite jealous, but she contained the emotion and continued to listen to his narrative.

"After I finished the ode, she applauded and then she suggested that I should accompany her to her bedroom so we could enjoy some more honey. Now that sounded rather strange to me, so I asked her what she meant. She told me that women were the smarter sex on her planet, and it was very rare for her to have such scintillating conversation with a man." He paused for a moment, nervously running a sticky hand through his hair."

"Doctor, you're blushing. What could she possibly say that would be so embarrassing?" teased Rose.

"She said … um… and you have to understand that these are her words, Rose," he began tentatively. "She said that I was the 'most stimulating piece of thespian crumpet' she'd ever met. Though I'm not quite sure how being on the stage compares with a tasty breakfast item."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Think your Time Lord brain got bogged down in all the honey. How could you not know that she was coming on to you?" she teased.

"Well it's not like I encouraged her or anything," he replied. "I was just being me you know, but even if I didn't guess what she was up to right then, her next words certainly left me in no doubt of her intentions."

"I'll bet," said Rose in jest.

The Doctor sent her an annoyed look before speaking again. "Apparently the use of honey during the bonding rites was common practice on her world, and she asked me again to join her. Of course, by then I understood that she wanted to take me as her husband. Though I'm sure the whole bonding with honey thing might have been interesting, I certainly wasn't interested in getting married to her or anyone, except maybe you-"


"Um, nothing. It's nothing, slip of the tongue, forget I said anything," he replied apprehensively. One look at him and Rose knew he was scared. She could push the point and make him repeat what he'd said, but she loved him too much for that. There would be plenty of time for them to talk about that side of their relationship.

"So what happened then?" Rose asked, neatly side stepping the issue, something that earned her a beautiful smile and a silent thank you from her lover.

"I told her the truth."

"And that was?"

The Doctor stepped up to the jump seat and gazed down at her. He did not touch her but every word felt like a caress as he softly offered up his confession. "I told her that I was in love with someone already. I let her know how fate had separated me from that person but I was working hard to find a way back to the woman I love." He was visibly shaking as he spoke his next words. "Under the circumstances, I could not give myself to anyone else because my soul mate was waiting for me."

Rose's anger at the Doctor had long melted away but even if it had still existed, that feeling would have been suffocated by the onslaught of love and desire she felt for this man before her. "How did she respond?" asked Rose, not really caring now about the outcome but felt she should ask anyway.

"She understood," replied the Doctor. "Thanked me for giving her at least a few hours of interesting conversation and then I left. It was a little while before I could face pancakes or crumpets again. Honey well, that's just too heavenly to give up no matter what memories it might dredge up," he finished with a smile which caused Rose's mouth to break out in the grin he loved so much.

He was a little guarded though when speaking to her again. "So, you still cross with me?"

She was not, but she sighed loudly anyway. "You wouldn't be the Doctor if you harnessed that curiosity of yours. You do silly things and get us into trouble, but as long as we are in it together, then it's okay."


"Yes, it's okay."

"Right. So just to clarify, by okay you mean you're not cross?"

"Oh bloody hell, you are so clueless sometimes," she shouted. "You just informed me that you told some alien woman that you love me and only me. Of course I'm going to forgive you." With that she planted her hands on both sides of his sticky face and kissed him hard.

As she let him go, he felt slightly bemused and it took several more moments to re-gather his thoughts. "Wow," he breathed. "I'm sort of wondering whether I shouldn't get into trouble more often, if this is what I get afterwards."

"I can't stay mad at you. Besides," she continued softly, "We're soul mates, like you said. I'm not sure I could go on without you. Did it once, remember and I don't ever want to do it again."

The Doctor could not help himself. Forgetting the honey that covered him, he drew Rose into his arms to kiss her once more. "I feel the same way," he admitted after releasing her lips. "Rose, I meant what I said earlier about not wanting to marry anyone. I mean except you," he uttered nervously.


"I know you graciously let my slip up go by earlier. I certainly hadn't intended to mention any of this. Well, at least not quite so soon but now that I have I feel it's something we should discuss don't you?" When she did not reply, he questionably called her name again.

With eyes wide, Rose finally answered him. "I'm sorry, Doctor. You surprised me, that's all. I promised you forever and of course I've thought about marriage. I'm just so happy being with you, being able to love you and have you love me back that I don't care about anything else. If you are serious about this, then yes, I want to discuss that part of our future together. Besides," she chortled, mischief sparking in her eyes, "Mum would want you to make an honest woman of me."

At the mention of Jackie Tyler, the Doctor unconsciously rubbed his cheek with one sticky hand, memories of a well earned slap still fresh in his mind. Rose's laughter was so infectious that he put the thought from his mind and smiled too. "Well, it's the least I can do since I've snatched her daughter away to travel with me in my TARDIS," His grin faded, seriousness now coming to the fore. Softly, though with great longing in his voice he said, "I want to tell you about the Gallifreyan Bonding Ceremony, Rose. Not now, but very soon, yeah?"

"Yes," came her reply, devoid of any hesitation or nerves. How could she say no when he was offering everything she ever wanted? Every day her love for this alien man increased. Some days she was sure she could fly, the happiness inside her providing buoyancy she never felt before. At other times it felt like her heart might burst, with the intensity of her emotions. As she let her eyes roam his body, she remembered the alien princess from his tale. Although she had nothing to fear, she was still surprised at the possessiveness that weaved its way into her thoughts. How dare another woman try to claim him, when the Doctor was hers? She watched as the honey, thinned out by the warmth of the console room, began to trickle down his pale throat to join the rest of the sticky mess on his tie. As it did so, sheer desire sparked in her blood, her only thought now to show him how much she loved him.

He must have sensed her change in emotions because he called her name. "Rose?"

"So does Gallifreyan bonding involve honey, Doctor?"

Looking somewhat confused, he answered her. "No, it doesn't. Why do you ask?"

With a predatory look in her eyes, she answered him. "I'm finding that I think I agree on your opinion of honey after all. Looking at you wearing it is quite a turn-on really. Reminds me of our chocolate cake games."

At her words his eyes darkened, passion and longing evident but still he kept his next sentence light. "You can talk. All that kissing earlier means you're just as covered in honey as me. I was thinking of having a shower and …"

Rose leaned in and ran her tongue up the soft silk of his swirly tie, savouring the sweet flavour of the honey as she went.

"… thought you might join me. Rose Tyler! Did you just lick my tie?"

Instead of answering she simply did it again, however this time she did not stop when she reached the knot at his neck. Instead she kept on going, sliding up the strong column of his throat, before gently nipping at the corner of his mouth and then continuing to taste the stickiness of the honey on his cheek. As she reached his ear she murmured intimately, "See you're not the only one with an oral fixation."

His reaction was to pull her hard against him, letting her feel the very obvious effects of her seduction, before kissing her soundly. Eventually he left her mouth to engage in some licking of his own, across her face, down her throat and biting lightly the still-clothed hollow of her collarbone before moving back to the sweetness of her lips once more. "Naughty, naughty, Rose," he whispered against them before pulling back slightly and speaking again. "So you like the idea of honey and sex, hmm? Shame I don't have any because I can think of so many delightful ways to use it on you," he teased shamelessly.

Rose was one step ahead of him however. "Bet I can think of a few uses for it myself but why don't you just tell me what you'd like to do so we can compare notes for the next time."

Mischief flared in his eyes as he grinned evilly at her. "Oh Rose, be careful what you wish for."

"Duly noted, Doctor," she retorted, giggling loudly despite the delicious anticipation that was building inside of her. Her laughter stopped abruptly when he placed his fingers on her lips, gently rubbing and smearing excess honey onto them.

"You see, Rose," he murmured. "We'll start off with what we do have and then improvise from there." His breath hitched as Rose sucked one sticky finger into her mouth, almost turning the tables on him as her actions sent liquid fire to his groin. Growling at her he removed the clean digit and bent forward, his tongue darting out to lick the gooey substance on her mouth. When he felt satisfied that he'd removed every trace he thrust inside, battling for domination with her tongue. He didn't know how long they kissed, but eventually he released her so they could both draw breath. Even with his superior bypass system, he was still panting, such was the effect she had on him.

After a minute, he recovered enough to move onto the next part of his plan. With deliberate slowness he rested his mouth over one honey covered breast, laving the warm bud hidden underneath with gentle strokes of his tongue. As it rose up with excitement he brought his teeth into play, teasingly nipping, all the while relishing in Rose's breathless moans. When he was done with one breast, he lavished the same treatment on the other excited nipple. By the time he was satisfied that he'd cleaned every trace of the honey, her shirt was soaked. With thinly veiled patience he stripped her of the impeding top and bra, stopping but a moment to tell her how beautiful she was. "If I had the honey, I'd pour it liberally over your chest, Rose," he suggested sinfully. "I'd let it run down between the valley of your incredibly soft breasts and coat these exquisite nipples that rise up just for me in golden liquid." Even as he spoke, temptation called and very soon he was suckling at them once more, taking great pains to find every spot that he knew would increase Rose's rapturous cries.

He could spend forever there but it soon became clear that Rose had decided it was his turn to lose some clothing. He really was not going to complain, not when her beautiful cunning mouth did such erotic things to him. Belatedly he realised he was supposed to be seducing her, not the other way around. Gathering what was left of his will power, he pulled her away from his chest to gently kiss her. "Stop distracting me, Miss Tyler. I haven't finished showing you my uses for honey yet." He kissed her again but this time more forcibly, one hand finding its way into her hair. His other grazed lightly against her skin as he performed a slow caress from her shoulder blade, down over her breast and abdomen. His hand stopped, resting lightly on her stomach as ever-so-slowly his mouth followed the same path downwards.

Pushing her back down on the jump seat, he knelt before her. Rose gave an audible gasp as he dipped his tongue into her naval. "Imagine it, Rose. Me pouring honey here, the syrupy goodness flowing over your belly and running down the sides of your waist. Think of me using my oral obsession to lick up every trace from your luscious skin. How does that make you feel?"

With open passion she answered him, "There are far better uses and places for that tongue of yours, Doctor," she finally managed to gasp out.

He snickered softly at her response, but never let up on the endless sweep of his tongue. His hands moved lower, finding the zip in the denim skirt she had on, undoing it with deliberate slowness. In an unspoken command she lifted her bottom off the jump seat as he discarded the unwanted piece of clothing, taking her knickers along with it. It was only then that he raised his head from her stomach to take in the rest of her enticingly naked form.

"Rose," he sighed as he parted her legs and moved between them, his brown eyes filled with incredible wonder. "There are no words to express how exquisite you are. No words to tell you how this makes me feel when you let me touch you like this." He tried to say more but he failed. Instead he pressed a passionate kiss against her inner thigh and was grateful when her hands fell upon his head, showing she understood. He moved closer and shifted her legs till they rested over his shoulders, leaving the sensual heart of her open to him. He never tired of this, this breathing in the undeniable opulent scent of Rose's arousal. The knowledge that it was all for him, only ever for him made him harden further, almost painfully so, but he wanted to finish pleasuring her before giving in to his own desires.


He smiled as he heard the desperate plea in her voice. With delight he separated her soft folds, holding them apart with two fingers. Her clitoris stood up to meet him in all its glory, swelling even more as he deliberately blew on it. Using his tongue he slowly laved the sensitive bundle of nerves, an action that elicited high pitched cries from his lover. Moving lower, he did one sweep of her sex before delving inside and tasting her. Her essence overwhelmed him, her flavour was an addiction he knew he would never want to give up, and hopefully would never have too.

Raising his head, he licked his lips clean of her juices, ready to continue his game of persuasion. "I won't ever get enough of this," he told her provocatively. "Honey, even the marvellous taste of apple blossom is bland when compared with honey from Rose." He returned his mouth to her tempting heat and proceeded to drive her mad with unresolved arousal for several minutes before pulling back again, his smile wide and playful. His thumb found its way back to her clitoris, stroking it in no particular rhythm while two more fingers pushed their way into the waiting warmth inside her.

The honest sensuality of his words and the push and pull of his fingers left Rose virtually speechless. She managed an "Oh God" before falling back under the spell of her building orgasm.

He knew it and grinned against her thighs. "Seems you're rather fond of my oral fixation too. Shall I keep going then?" he teased before diving in again to circle her clit with his tongue.

"Don't … oh fuck. Don't stop. Please, Doctor, so close," she begged, barely able to get the words out.

In answer he let his tongue join the fingers that were thrusting hard and deep inside her, and increased the exquisite pressure on her clit. It wasn't long before Rose was thrashing in the jump seat, her internal muscles clenching around his fingers while she screamed his name, the sound echoing throughout the console room and the depths of the TARDIS.

He kissed her softly and at the same time kicked off his own shoes and socks. Rose had barely regained her senses when he pulled her off the jump seat and still kissing her backed her into a TARDIS wall. Impassioned kisses were exchanged, while hands roamed seeking mutual gratification. Only minutes later Rose found herself lifted against the wall with the Doctor's encouraging pleas for her to wrap her legs around him still lingering in her ears. She did not know when he had removed his trousers but quite frankly she didn't care. Nothing else mattered except the sensation of him filling her as he lowered her down on his thick cock, his low guttural moan matched by her own sound of rapture.

"What happened to comparing notes?" she managed to gasp.

"Couldn't wait," he panted, arching his back time and again as he thrust inside her at a blissful rhythmic pace.

"No fair. Was going to show you my uses for honey."

"Next time," he promised raggedly.

"Agreed, but I'm still going to tell you," she teased and that's exactly what she did. He grew thicker and longer inside her as she regaled him with a litany of filthy ideas and images that involved her smothering his erection in honey and licking every scrap of it off. She told him how good it would feel when she did the same to his balls and, if she had her way, she'd let the viscous liquid find it's way down further.

It was these final fantasies that broke his steady rhythm within her. With a growl that bordered on darkness, he sank down with Rose to the grating, sparing only a moment to lay her out on his coat before he was sheathed within her hot, tight walls again. The pace he set was pounding, and it was all she could do to hold on. Every thrust hit deeper than the one before. Combined with his talented fingers dancing on her clit, Rose soon fell into one orgasm and then another. It wasn't long before he joined her, her name a blessed sound on his lips as he came.

Sated and content they lay together, too reluctant to move and disturb this moment of contentment.

"Reckon that was our best yet," giggled Rose, "and that was without the honey."

"Mmm, it certainly was," he agreed, pulling her closer. "But just you wait, Rose Tyler. Next time we visit the shops I'm going to buy a whole carton of the stuff and we're not leaving … blimey what am I lying on?" he grumbled as he became aware of a lump underneath his back. Sitting up, he realised that the bulky item was hidden within the pocket of his coat. As he pulled it out he let out a triumphant shout.

"What, what is it?" asked Rose curiously.

With a winning smile the Doctor showed her the bottle of apple blossom honey that he'd pocketed earlier and had forgotten in the calamity that followed.

Rose's mouth curled up in a lascivious grin. "Well then, first one to the bedroom gets pouring rights?"

"Oh Yeah," agreed the Doctor before they both ran from the control room, laughing madly all the way.