DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.
Twitter: themusiksnob / Tumblr: musiksnob
This will be a threeshot. I promise you it will have a happy ending. Trust me.
This alternates between Clare and Eli's perspectives.
Alli grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into the nearest girl's bathroom. "There's something you need to know," she said. I was used to Alli's dramatics but there was something in her eye that made my stomach clench.
She checked the stalls to make sure we were alone. "Eli asked Imogen out on a date."
I shut my eyes and leaned against the wall. I knew this day would come someday but we'd only been broken up for a little over a month. "That's great. I'm happy for him," I said, but the sob that was threatening to escape betrayed my real feelings.
"Clare," Ali said. "You don't have to pretend with me. It's okay if you want to rip the bitch's head off."
"He has a right to move on. I broke up with him, remember?" He was controlling and possessive and after he crashed Morty on purpose in order to get my attention, I couldn't handle being with him anymore.
It didn't matter that I thought of him every single day since then, that I hated that we weren't even friends, that I missed kissing him more than anything else in the world. We were broken up and that was that.
It didn't matter that he had finally given me the space that I asked for, that he was in counseling. I broke up with him and he didn't want me anymore.
Alli gave me a knowing look. "It's not fair that even when the girl breaks up with the guy, he always moves on first. But you should really think about it. Maybe with Jake," she teased.
I rolled my eyes. "He's just a friend." Our families had been friends for years and we'd grown up together. But he moved away when he was ten, after his mother died, and we'd lost touch. As soon as he came back to Degrassi, we'd been eating lunch together occasionally and tried to catch up but with everything going on, I hadn't really spent much time with him.
"Maybe he could be more if you gave it a try. Whenever I see you talking to him, it always seems like he's flirting." I remained unconvinced and Alli put her hand on my arm. "Clare you can't sit at home every night waiting for Eli. Either tell him you still love him or move on."
"I can't," I whispered, wiping away a few tears.
"I know he was your first love and trust me, I know how hard it is to give that up. But I had to let Johnny go when he didn't treat me right. And you need to do the same to Eli."
"I just don't feel ready. I don't think I could feel the way I did about Eli for any other guy."
"You know, most people actually date the guy before they fall in love with him. You're not going to immediately be head over heels. Just go on a few dates. Get to know some people. If Eli's doing it, you should be too."
Alli was right. I did have a tendency to fall really hard, even before we made it official. Even with K.C. who I was never really in love with, I had a huge crush on him before we even had our first kiss. And Eli could have said "I love you" right after that library kiss and I would have said it back without hesitation. Maybe I could give this dating thing a shot.
The bell rang and Alli gave me a quick hug. "If you need me, I'm here." She left me alone and I tried to wash the tears off my face, but my eyes were still red.
I ran into Jake immediately after leaving the bathroom and I blushed, remembering what Alli said about him flirting with me. "Clare, are you okay?" he asked.
He followed me to my locker and I tried to grab my lunch and the books for my afternoon classes – that included English…with Eli. "I'm just having a bad day," I admitted.
He leaned against the locker next to mine. "I wish there was something I could do to cheer you up."
Jake was sweet. But after Eli, I wasn't sure any guy could make me feel the same way.
But I needed to stop looking for love by hanging onto my past. "Are you doing anything tonight?" I asked. I glanced at him and blushed at the thrilled yet surprised look on his face.
"Are you asking me out?" he asked with a smirk that made me immediately want to say no and run away.
"I guess I am." I forced myself to give him a flirty smile.
"Well, I guess I'll be pick you up at seven."
He seemed really excited, and I couldn't help but feel a little bit pleased that a guy actually wanted to date me. "What do you want to do tonight?"
"I'll surprise you," he said. He started backing away, keeping his eyes on me. "See you tonight," he called.
I smiled at him and walked to the caf. Maybe there was something to this whole moving on thing.
I was at my locker, grabbing my books after school when Adam smacked me in the back of the head. "What the hell, dude?"
"You asked out Imogen?" Adam looked furious.
Shit. If Adam already knew, that meant it was really getting around. "It's just a date. It's not big deal." He still looked pissed, so I added, "You're the one who told me I needed to move on."
"Move on, like stop moping about Clare all the time, move on. Not move on, like start banging another girl."
"There will be no banging going on it," I said, swinging my backpack over my shoulder. "It's just one date. We're getting dinner and that's it." Adam looked unconvinced. "How do you ever know about this?"
"Imogen was giggling about it during science class. Loudly. And you know who else is in my science class? Alli."
Fuck. That meant Clare already knew. "Look, Clare dumped me. Would I rather be with Clare than going on a date with Imogen? Absolutely. But there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm going to go have a good time."
"It's only been a month, Eli. How do you think Clare's going to feel?"
I closed my eyes. "You know how I felt when she broke up with me. It can't be any worse than that."
Adam gave me a sad look. I knew our breakup had hit him hard too, since Clare didn't want to be around me and by virtue of that, kept her distance from Adam as well.
"It's one date," I repeated.
"Do you even like this girl? I didn't even think you knew her."
I hesitated. I knew her from the mental health support group at the community center that my parents had been forcing me to go to ever since I crashed my car on purpose. It wasn't like Alcoholics Anonymous or anything but we were expected to be discreet. Imogen was there for cutting, and whenever she spoke at the meetings, she was really intense. I didn't know if I could ever have real feelings for her, but since Clare dumped me because she couldn't handle my issues, I thought I might try dating someone who was messed up just like me.
"I don't know. I'm just going to get to know her."
I slammed my locker shut and we started walking toward the front entrance. Clare was standing right in front of the door, and that new kid Jake was right next to her. Too fucking close to her, in my opinion.
"I'll see you tonight," he said, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. Clare had her signature blush on her face and Adam grabbed my arm to keep from going over and clocking him in the face. Clare moved to open the door and then looked back at him. While she turned, she noticed me and she noticed the glare on my face. Her smile dropped and she fled through the front door.
"Looks like I'm not the only one moving on," I said. I was trying to sound okay with it, but inside, I felt like crying. Adam put his arm around my shoulders.
I hoped this date wasn't a mistake. Because if I had to go around school and see Clare getting kissed by some assclown… It was time for me to move on.