AN: So this is my first fic for the Faculty. I don't personally like slash between Casey and Zeke, but this idea popped into my head. It's one sided slash anyways. This could be considered a companion piece to a fic I am writing. Though it's not posted yet because I want to finish it before I do. Review and tell me what you think.
The Perfect Imperfection
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love." - Sophocles
These sights rush through my head like a thousand needles. Piercing, poking, prodding at every nerve it could find. Filling me with a pain that is indescribable by words. The only solace I could find is denial. The thought that this is all a nightmare, and not a reality.
My arm is squeezed for the hundredth time as she clings to my arm. Dragging me around to socialize with all her friends. Her voice dull registers to my ears as she chats away. Talks about something I couldn't care less about. My sole attention is on something. Something entirely different from the girl on my arms.
I watch intently as a couple go about their normal activities. They are sitting at one of the stone benches. Sitting atop the table with their feet on the seats. They are talking. Talking about something that makes the girl smile, which in turn gets a smile from the guy. Another arm squeeze momentarily brings me out of my trance.
"Right Casey?" her voice stings my ears. I look over at her, and can't help but notice the differences. She was perfection…something I didn't want.
"Ya sure." I answer absent mindedly, my eyes wondering back over to the couple on the bench. There was food now…where did they get food? It looked to be a sweet of some kind.
The girl eats the food with a purposeful slowness. Her eyes fluttering close as she tastes whatever she is eating. It must taste good, whatever it was. A blinding smile spreads across the girl's face when she finishes the bite. The guy say something with a sly smirk, causing a blush to spread across her cheeks. She lightly smacks the guy on the arm with a head shake.
The guy simply smirks, a smirk that said he knew something no one else did. It was an arrogant smirk. A smirk I couldn't help but endear. I watch painfully as the couple lean in. Their eyes already slowly closing as they closed the short distance to one another. Their lips touch, so lightly I could still make out the gap between them. The cold rush of envy burns through my veins.
Yet I can not look away. I had to keep looking as they pushed their lips together once more, this time with more passion. The girls hands curled around the guys shoulders, as his cupped her face. It looked to be a slow, sensual kiss between the two. Far to private to be shown in public, but true to their nature; neither of them cared. If anyone had a problem with it, they would continue on doing what they were doing.
"Who knew they were such a touchy feely couple huh?" I glance over at the perfect girl. She's staring at the couple as well, a look of disgust on her face. "Get a room!" she yells her pouting lips flexing. I look back to the couple. Both lift up one hand, their middle finger extended, and continue on kissing. As I said before, they never cared. "She's good for him though don't you think?" I look to my perfect girl, my girlfriend before looking to the kissing couple. Another stab of envy enters my battered heart.
"Ya." I force the word out of my throat. She was his perfect match. She allowed him to roam free, to finally be himself completely. She was everything I could not be to him. I don't know when these thoughts first started coming about.
When every time I saw him I would feel an ache within my chest. How when he would casually acknowledge me in the halls my heart would begin to pound frantically in my chest. When had I begun to start hiding away from his gaze during the hang outs at his house? When had I started shying away from my girlfriends advances? I could not answer these questions, and I doubt I would ever find those answers.
I looked wistfully back at the couple. They had separated their make out session and seemed to be content in eating the food from the Tupperware dish. I watched the girls mouth move slightly, and a brilliant smile grew on his face. A smile filled with a joyous happiness that I've never witnessed on his face before. He looked completely content with whatever the girl had said.
What was being said? What had brought such joy on his face that he was transformed into a different being? What did she say that changed the man I loved into someone I had never seen before? I wanted to know, I so desperately wanted to know what was being said that I felt the hot stab of pain within my gut. I wanted to say those words to him. I wanted to see his face light up with elation.
Why couldn't he notice me? Why couldn't he see that I needed him? The flooding of the pain made my shoulders slump. I felt like my chest weighed a ton. I wasn't myself anymore. I allowed my girlfriend to drag me around some more. I had nothing else to do, but watch him interact with the one girl who had been able to change him. The one girl who had done it unintentionally. She never planned on changing him.
I wasn't quite sure how she did it either. She was just there. I was present most of the time, and I had never seen anything within her that was special. Nothing other then her hair and eye color stood out. She wasn't anything I wasn't. my heart clenched in my chest. Trying to block out my thoughts. Was this what I would be subjected to now? Seeing them and being in pain?
"Case, Delilah how are you guys?" I look seeing two other friends. Friends I'd actually care to talk to at times.
"We're fine." my girlfriend answered with her smile. A smile that said she was queen of the school, and she's stay that way.
"Cool." Stokely was giving me a look. A look I couldn't decipher. I shrugged and looked to her boyfriend Stan. Their hands were intertwined. They looked happy. Always the happy ones.
"So we were wondering if you'd two be interested in a triple date?" triple date? Oh no…please don't tell me. I couldn't stand it. Just say no Delilah.
"We'd love to. Have you asked the poodle and her master?" Delilah, hateful as ever. Stokely muttered something along the lines of a bitch to the end, while Stan shook his head. "Well then let's go." my arm is squeezed again and we are off. Off towards the couple I so adamantly wanted to avoid. "Poodle!" the dark rusty red curly haired girl turned her head with her teeth bared in a silent snarl. Her boyfriend, the guy behind all my pain rolled his eyes.
He was the most imperfect perfection I had ever seen. Hair mused in a way that said he just woke up in the morning and got dressed. A dark undershirt with a lighter unbuttoned over shirt. Slightly baggy worn out pants a chain going from a belt loop to a pocket signaling a wallet. Long short finger nailed fingers, with a big palm. He had the palms of someone meant for hands on work. Dark eyes always narrowed in calculation, and lips that could turn into a killer smirk, to a soft smile.
He was my perfect obsession. I had a box of collected pictures I had taken over the years of him. Only the recent ones I had been cutting up and reordering them. He was always with her. She was never not in the picture with him. And he seemed to love it that way. He wanted, no needed, her to be around him. She was the anchor that kept him sane. I sometimes wish that I could be that for him. Be that important to him, that even now, one of his hands is lightly touching her own on the table. Reassurance that she wasn't going to leave. Wasn't just a figment of his imagination.
"Triple date? Isn't that sorta…cheesy?" her voice only added to the hatred in my body. It had that naturally low rich tone to it, one that made you wonder what was going on in her head to make her sound that way.
"C'mon!" Delilah slightly pleaded her hand momentarily leaving my arm. "It'll be fun." the girl shifted her head to the side.
"Define fun." his voice, however; sent pleasant chills down my spine. It was rough and low. My toes curled unconsciously.
"Aren't you suppose to be the genius?" Delilah retorted with a lip curl.
"Our definitions of fun can have large fundamental differences…" he nearly purred drawing the girl closer to him. "Right Liv?" Livvy or Liv, rolled her eyes with a playful smile.
"Ugh…get a room." Stokely fake gagged.
"Second time in less then five minutes. I believe we are on a roll today Zeke." Livvy smiled triumphantly at Zeke before chuckling along with him. "And sure we'll go to the triple date. It might be fun."
"Of course you rabbits would rather just stay at home." Delilah threaded her arm through mine again.
"Don't get your panties in a twist because your sexually frustrated." I blanched at the thought. I had been evaded Delilah's advances for a while now. I just couldn't help but think of him when she touched me. I couldn't help but replace her soft hands for his obviously rougher ones.
I glance at Zeke, but he's looking at Delilah awaiting a retort. Livvy somehow catches my eye. What I hate most about her wasn't her voice. Or the fact that she held what I most desperately wanted. It wasn't the fact that she was confident, witty, and funny. It wasn't because she just happened to be the gender Zeke preferred. No what I hated most about Livvy Dahn is that she knew.
She knew I was in love with her boyfriend. She knew that I wanted nothing more then to be held in his arms. That I wanted to relive those thirty seconds over and over again. That I wished we didn't have the opportunity to kiss because of some stupid game, and he only went through with it because she promised to reward him with something else if he kissed. I hated that she could see be that same protective big sister type to me when she knew I wanted her gone.
A slight, sympathetic smile was all she could give me though. She couldn't grant my wishes true, and I doubt she would want them to come true. Zeke was as much to her as she was to him. They were made for each other. He had opened his heart to her, and nothing but death would tear her away from him. Everyone always said it'd be Stokely and Stan who'd just go off get married and have kids. But there was no doubt in my mind, that after college they would get married, and be happy for the rest of their lives.
These thoughts pierced my heart like needles. I was trapped in being in love with a man that only saw me as friend. I was forced to kiss a girl I had dreamed of wanting for years until recently. I couldn't help but block out the pain I felt. I wouldn't do anything to ruin them. I would rather disappear then see him hurt.
"Earth to Casey?" I look up sharply, meeting Zeke's dark eyes. Amusement twinkles in them. "You okay man? You're spacing out pretty bad." I grunt and fiddle with my camera.
"Just fine." I mutter feeling self conscious. I see something flash in his eyes. Something like sympathy…or was that pity? Did he know? Did he know about everything? I feel heat rise to my cheeks, and I can do nothing but look at my shoes. He knew…he knew about everything and didn't do anything.
"Nothing hurts more then realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him" - Anonymous
AN: Review and tell me what you think.